NationStates Jolt Archive

Daft burglar writes name on wall

A 18-year-old burglar who vandalised a children's campsite building was caught because he wrote his name on a wall at the scene, a court has heard.

Peter Addison, of Heaton Mersey, Stockport, and his friend Mark Ridgeway of Poynton, Cheshire, smashed crockery and let off fire extinguishers.

Addison received a conditional discharge. Ridgeway, 18, must carry out 60 hours unpaid work.

Both pleaded guilty to burglary at Macclesfield Magistrates' Court.

Addison was ordered to pay £725 compensation and £20 costs. Ridgeway has to pay £20 costs.

Apart from writing his own name in black marker pen at the Toc H centre in Adlington, Cheshire, Addison also left his gang's name on the wall - The Adlington Massiv!.

"There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit" - Inspector Gareth Woods

Link (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/6981558.stm)

Hahahahahaha....*gasps*....Hahahaa! Oh this made my day. Do you have any more amusing stories of bungled burglaries and other crimes?

The Water Bandits?

Seriously though, if you think yourselves as an artist and your art is burglary, why shouldn't you sign them?

Though usually, if you're really an artist you should be smarter than that.

Thats typical chavs for ya! Their shitty gang name ("The Adlington Massiv") is too painfully familiar, but fuck the word "massiv" stopped being used in gang names what, 5 years ago?

Link (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/6981558.stm)

Hahahahahaha....*gasps*....Hahahaa! Oh this made my day. Do you have any more amusing stories of bungled burglaries and other crimes?

I read several in a book of stupid criminals...

a guy, robbing a store thought it would be smart to remove the cameras... so he climbed up to dismantle them.

of course he left the tapes... which had such nice close up shots of his face and the prints all over the camera mounting made ID'ing him very easy.



another robbery gone bad was where the crook pretended to buy a soda. when the register was open, he reached across the counter, grabbed some bills and beat it.

the problem?
1) he left his wallet, including his licence on the counter.
2) he took a total of $19. his wallet had $25

Thats typical chavs for ya! Their shitty gang name ("The Adlington Massiv") is too painfully familiar, but fuck the word "massiv" stopped being used in gang names what, 5 years ago?
It prob took this moron 5 yrs to learn how to spell "massive". And he still got it wrong.

Can we please send chavs to a re education camp in Antarctica?

I've read a lot of stories of stupid criminals over the years.

A case where the employees of a fast food establishmnet came in to open the store one day and found a deceased would be robber stuck in the frier vent. Suffocated. His poor mother. It seems as one year earlier his brother had lost his life. The same damn way.

A case whare a burglar was caught by the home owners because he was still in the house playing video games when they returned. He had recently been paroled after his previous burglary conviction. When had also been apprehended by returning homeowners while he played video games.

You can have a little sympathy for people who do something stupid- but these guys where pathetically slow learners.

I still think my favoriter was the guy in my native Texas who tried to rob a convenience store. He found himself not quite prepared, having brought no weapon. So he walked up to the counter and put the six-pack he wanted on the counter. Then he proceeded to whip out his penis, much to the startlement of the female clerk. But she was a fast thinker. She picked up the six-pack and slammed it down on his penis with all the force she could muster.
I imagine he was still curled up on the floor when the cops arrived.

I've heard of calling cards but this is ridiculous.



Ever heard the one about the guy who tried to rob a bank? I don't remember the details, but he took one of their comment cards (or something similar, a deposit slip or something?), wrote: This is a stick-up...but misspelled it, and went across the street because the line was too long. So he waited in line at this other bank, and when he finally got to the teller he handed her the slip and she told him she couldn't take it because it wasn't for their bank. So, he goes back across the street and waits in line again. By the time he finally gets to that teller to hand her the slip, the police have arrived.

If anyone's got the details on this, I'd be glad to read it again.

I still think my favoriter was the guy in my native Texas who tried to rob a convenience store. He found himself not quite prepared, having brought no weapon. So he walked up to the counter and put the six-pack he wanted on the counter. Then he proceeded to whip out his penis, much to the startlement of the female clerk. But she was a fast thinker. She picked up the six-pack and slammed it down on his penis with all the force she could muster.
I imagine he was still curled up on the floor when the cops arrived.

I remember hearing one where a jilted lover sought revenge by grabbing a passing snapping turtle and tried to get it to bite her.

I Believe the charge was "Assault with a dangerous animal." the GF ended up caring for the turtle for a couple of days then she let it loose.


and then there was one burgler who was caught cleaning up the victim's apartment. he didn't press charges since 1) nothing was stolen, 2) he was impressed with how clean the apartment was.

the burgler (last I heard) was contemplating on opening his own cleaning service.

I've heard of calling cards but this is ridiculous.



Ever heard the one about the guy who tried to rob a bank? I don't remember the details, but he took one of their comment cards (or something similar, a deposit slip or something?), wrote: This is a stick-up...but misspelled it, and went across the street because the line was too long. So he waited in line at this other bank, and when he finally got to the teller he handed her the slip and she told him she couldn't take it because it wasn't for their bank. So, he goes back across the street and waits in line again. By the time he finally gets to that teller to hand her the slip, the police have arrived.

If anyone's got the details on this, I'd be glad to read it again.

sounds familiar... but I thought the teller told him that he was in the 'Business Transaction' window and needed to go to another window to do the robbery...

In a similar story, a criminal handed the clerk $20, asked for changed, and then pulled a gun when the register was opened. He didn't bother to gte the twenty back before fleeing, and the register only had $14...

A couple days ago, some kid robbed another kid. When the opther kid offered him $10, the first kid demanded it be broken first because he only needed (and only took) $4.

Also http://www.snopes.com/crime/dumdum/dumdum.asp

sounds familiar... but I thought the teller told him that he was in the 'Business Transaction' window and needed to go to another window to do the robbery...

May have been. I heard it two years ago. Or maybe we're thinking of two different stories? There's no end to human stupidity, and people seem to make the same stupid mistakes.

from here (http://www.dumbcriminals.com/robberies/just-say-no-to-hugs/#more-890)...

There’s are only three questions I could ask about this man. What drugs was this guy on? How many drugs had he been taking? Which orifice did he used to injest said drugs into his body?

According to the Washington Post, a man in Washington D.C. crashed his way into a barbecue, put a gun to someone’s head and demanded money. When he realized he might have been at the wrong house, he asked if he could have a hug.

Here’s the weird part. He got the hug, four times including a group hug. I’ve got five people in my family and I don’t get that many hugs when I ask for one.

Police are still considering it a robbery. Fortunately, the man got away without injuring anyone. Unfortunately, the hugs have not yet been recovered.

He also got away with a glass of wine, which police recovered in the alleyway. The broken wine glass, not the wine, stupid.

A friend of a friend's in prison because they found his DNA at the scene of the robbery he'd performed. Where'd they find the sample? On a piece of chewing gum he'd spat out at the scene. Not completely retarded, except it was chewing gum he'd just stolen from the shop and he only spat it out to kiss his girlfriend. She didn't go down, however, because he refused to give her up in court. Chav stands for chivalrous, albeit vapid, apparently :p

I've heard of calling cards but this is ridiculous.



Ever heard the one about the guy who tried to rob a bank? I don't remember the details, but he took one of their comment cards (or something similar, a deposit slip or something?), wrote: This is a stick-up...but misspelled it, and went across the street because the line was too long. So he waited in line at this other bank, and when he finally got to the teller he handed her the slip and she told him she couldn't take it because it wasn't for their bank. So, he goes back across the street and waits in line again. By the time he finally gets to that teller to hand her the slip, the police have arrived.

If anyone's got the details on this, I'd be glad to read it again.

I read about that...There was also the bank robber that made the note on his personalized deposit slip.

the problem?
1) he left his wallet, including his licence on the counter.
2) he took a total of $19. his wallet had $25

I don't think that's a burglary as much as a really dumb way of overpaying and taking your own change. :p

I read about that...There was also the bank robber that made the note on his personalized deposit slip.
There was one I read about a guy who successfully robbed a bank, only to go back a couple of hours later to deposit the money into his own account - while the police were still there.

And then there's the chavs who video'd themselves committing their crimes and left the tape behind.

Thats typical chavs for ya! Their shitty gang name ("The Adlington Massiv") is too painfully familiar, but fuck the word "massiv" stopped being used in gang names what, 5 years ago?

He's from the "Heatons," I'm really not surprised.

(for those from outside the locality (NW), they are really fairly posh over there, so I'm told, I don't venture into Stokport unless I have to ;))

Jesus, didn't even notice it was in Stockport. That's where my story's from as well. What a wonderful place, visiting Brinnington was an interesting experience...

I have this Swedish book here Tusen Tabbar (a thousand stupid mistakes) by Ulf Ivar Nilsson. It's just awesome. I'll translate a few examples...

* John Arthur McLean was sentenced to 3 years in prison after publishing a book about various burglaries he had committed.
* A couple in Merchantville robbed a liquor store but forgot their 6 year old son in the store.
* A gang in Orlando robbed a transport carrying $100 000 in quarters but couldn't take the 3 metric tons of coins with them.
* A 42 year old woman tried to go through customs in Malmö with 65 garter snakes in her bra.
* 10 gas thieves in Nigeria died while trying to open a pipeline with a blowtorch.
* 2 robbers armed with revolvers stopped a tourist bus in Guatemala to rob the passengers, 40 cops armed with automatic weapons.

I have this Swedish book here Tusen Tabbar (a thousand stupid mistakes) by Ulf Ivar Nilsson. It's just awesome. I'll translate a few examples...

* 2 robbers armed with revolvers stopped a tourist bus in Guatemala to rob the passengers, 40 cops armed with automatic weapons.

reminds me of one incident in Texas.

man tried to rob a store by brandishing his pistol and firing one shot into the air and fell over dead...

before I give the conclusion to this comedy of errors... let me build up the story for you.

1) this was in a town were CCW is legal.
2) there was one marked police cruiser parked outside the door. Witnesses said the would-be robber walked around the cruiser to get to the door.
3) the shop was a weapons store.
4) the police officer (in uniform) was at the register, talking with the shop ower.

so the would-be robber fires his pistol into the air, everyone in the store (including the officer) draws their weapon on the dead assilant... dead? yep, the shop owner, who saw the would-be robber enter was a mite quicker on the draw and was the only one to return fire.