NationStates Jolt Archive

Holy wars, killing - it's just people using religion as an excuse to be crappy to each other. - Lister, Red Dwarf

People are a problem - Douglas Adams.


So, what words or phrases do you folks find to be particularly apt / noteworthy?

" Some people go their entire lives wondering whether or not they have made a difference. Marines don't have that problem." -Ronald Reagan.

" Democracy is not perfect and we have many issues- but we never had to build a wall to keep our people in."- John F. Kennedy.

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said Ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again.

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."

Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

"Having a Holy War is like fighting over who has the better imaginary friend." ~Unknown comedian.

"I never trust a man until I have his pecker in my pocket."-Lyndon Baines Johnson

As they cool, brownies shrink from the side of the pan and set. Put them out of reach of the thronging hordes and don't cut until they've reached room temperature.
- foodies.com Brownie Tips

As they cool, brownies shrink from the side of the pan and set. Put them out of reach of the thronging hordes and don't cut until they've reached room temperature.
- foodies.com Brownie Tips

... As a sidenote, and not to hijack my own thread but, just what the hell are brownies, anyway?

... As a sidenote, and not to hijack my own thread but, just what the hell are brownies, anyway?

If you have never had one, you haven't lived. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_brownie)

"Good-bye - if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico - ah, that is euthanasia." -- Ambrose Bierce's final letter before disappearing

As far as final letters go, I think that's a fairly good one. =p

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

... As a sidenote, and not to hijack my own thread but, just what the hell are brownies, anyway?

"Holy shit. Seriously?"
- William Wallace

Hell is other people.
-Jean Paul Sartre-

If you have never had one, you haven't lived. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_brownie)

So... it's sort of a chocolate cake? Fair enough. ROLL ON!

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read! - Groucho Marx ;)

Hell is other people.
-Jean Paul Sartre-

Yeah, but all his mates were French. - Lister, Red Dwarf.

Sorry, couldn't resist. ;)

"The lesser of two evils is still evil. And the enemy of my enemy is not my friend."
- Penn Fraser Jillette & Raymond Joseph Teller

"A thing is what it is and not something else, however much you may wish it so."
-me-

"Having a Holy War is like fighting over who has the better imaginary friend." ~Unknown comedian.

That was either George Carlin or Robin Williams.

Holy wars, killing - it's just people using religion as an excuse to be crappy to each other. - Lister, Red Dwarf

People are a problem - Douglas Adams.


So, what words or phrases do you folks find to be particularly apt / noteworthy?

I praise thee for your choice in humour.

Finally a thread with contents. I don't have anything for input, but I do enjoy the quotes, humor is magic, even the most cynic has to laugh sometimes.

I wouldn't. I need humans to survive. What else am I suposed to eat? Where else am I suposed to implant and incubate my young?

Am I an alien, a cannibal, or a Christian? 'Cause if that's really the blood of Christ then he must have been wasted 24/7.

"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music." -George Carlin

"I never trust a man until I have his pecker in my pocket."-Lyndon Baines Johnson

Free Waterfall Sr: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks. Put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.
Leela: Uh, I think I'll go check on *Lyndon Baines Johnson*.
Free Waterfall Sr: Watch that he doesn't pick your pocket.
Serious, serious trust issues. :rolleyes:

"A thing is what it is and not something else, however much you may wish it so."
-me-

Tat tvam asi.

"Good-bye - if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico - ah, that is euthanasia." -- Ambrose Bierce's final letter before disappearing

As far as final letters go, I think that's a fairly good one. =p

We could fill the thread with kickass Bierce quotes. *bows*

"Never trust a computer you can't throw out of a window." - Steve Wozniak

- Revenge is a dish best served with mayonaise, and those cheesy things on sticks - Osric the Loopy, former planetary governor of Corania. ;)

Also:

- Happiness is just a temporary chemical imbalance of the true state of mind - Lusifur, Poison Elves.

When I released GNU Emacs and people started using it, they started sending me improvements in the mail. So I would get a message with a bug fix, and a message with a new feature, and another bug fix, and another new feature, and another... and another... until they were pouring in on me so fast that just taking advantage of all of the help people were giving me was a big job. Microsoft doesn't have this problem.
-- rms

Geeks like to think that they can ignore politics, you can leave politics alone, but politics won't leave you alone.
-- rms

In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the Hurd people.
-- Linus

Here's a few for the budding engineers out there.

Mach's Laws of Thermodynamics:

You can't win.

You can't break even.

You can't get out of the game.

Sturgeon's Law

90% of everything is crud.

Occam's Razor (greatly simplified)

The hypothesis with the fewest assumptions is usually correct.

"Any idiot can face a crisis - It's this day to day living that wears you out" - Anton Chekov

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit!” -George Carlin

"A woman has never shot her husband while he was doing the dishes." - George Carlin

Oh, and:

"Wise men make proverbs. Fools repeat them."

Yes, I am a fool.

If I saw you yesterday, are you going to kill me tommorrow?-random guy on the street.

Thank you for not stabbing me- everyone who has stabbed me.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about other people.

"To be Medieval one should have no body, to be Modern one should have no soul, to be Greek one should have no clothes."
--Oscar Wilde
Well, the first two are astute, and the third one is true, at least.

Intelligence is no substitute for consideration.

--Me.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about other people.

Nice. *bows*

We could fill the thread with kickass Bierce quotes. *bows*

And how freaking awesome of a thread it would then be! ;)

'I pity the foo'!' and 'Quit yo jibba-jabba!'

We’re all fucked. It helps to remember that.
— George Carlin

Intelligence is no substitute for consideration.

--Me.

May I add: Knowledge does not necessarily spawn intelligence

-- ME

and: "how" you apply your knowledge makes you intelligent

ME

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs - Karl Marx

"Communism is inequality, but not as property is. Property is the exploitation of the weak by the strong. Communism is the exploitation of the strong by the weak. In property, inequality of conditions is the result of force, under whatever name it be disguised: physical and mental force; force of events, chance, fortune; force of accumulated property, &c. In communism, inequality springs from placing mediocrity on a level with excellence. This damaging equation is repellent to the conscience, and causes merit to complain; for, although it may be the duty of the strong to aid the weak, they prefer to do it out of generosity, — they never will endure a comparison. Give them equal opportunities of labor, and equal wages, but never allow their jealousy to be awakened by mutual suspicion of unfaithfulness in the performance of the common task.
Communism is oppression and slavery. Man is very willing to obey the law of duty, serve his country, and oblige his friends; but he wishes to labor when he pleases, where he pleases, and as much as he pleases. He wishes to dispose of his own time, to be governed only by necessity, to choose his friendships, his recreation, and his discipline; to act from judgment, not by command; to sacrifice himself through selfishness, not through servile obligation. Communism is essentially opposed to the free exercise of our faculties, to our noblest desires, to our deepest feelings. Any plan which could be devised for reconciling it with the demands of the individual reason and will would end only in changing the thing while preserving the name. Now, if we are honest truth-seekers, we shall avoid disputes about words.
Thus, communism violates the sovereignty of the conscience, and equality: the first, by restricting spontaneity of mind and heart, and freedom of thought and action; the second, by placing labor and laziness, skill and stupidity, and even vice and virtue on an equality in point of comfort. For the rest, if property is impossible on account of the desire to accumulate, communism would soon become so through the desire to shirk."
-- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, What is Property? ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pierre-Joseph_Proudhon )

"'Capital'... in the political field is analogous to 'government'... The economic idea of capitalism, the politics of government or of authority, and the theological idea of the Church are three identical ideas, linked in various ways. To attack one of them is equivalent to attacking all of them . . . What capital does to labour, and the State to liberty, the Church does to the spirit. This trinity of absolutism is as baneful in practice as it is in philosophy. The most effective means for oppressing the people would be simultaneously to enslave its body, its will and its reason."
-- Pierre-Joesph Proudhon ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proudhon#Political_philosophy )

"I have seen the fnords"
-- Anarchy Bridge ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fnord#The_Illuminatus.21_Trilogy )

"Unless we choose to decentralize and to use applied science, not as the end to which human beings are to be made the means, but as the means to producing a race of free individuals, we have only two alternatives to choose from: either a number of national, militarized totalitarianisms, having as their root the terror of the atomic bomb and as their consequence the destruction of civilization (or, if the warfare is limited, the perpetuation of militarism); or else one supra-national totalitarianism, called into existence by the social chaos resulting from rapid technological progress in general and the atomic revolution in particular, and developing, under the need for efficiency and stability, into the welfare-tyranny of Utopia. You pays your money and you takes your choice."
-- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Foreword

"'But I like the inconveniences.'

'We don't,' said the Controller. 'We prefer to do things comfortably.'

'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'

'In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy.'

'All right then,' said the Savage defiantly, 'I'm claiming the right to be unhappy.'

'Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.'

There was a long silence.

'I claim them all,' said the Savage at last."
-- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Chapter 17

"God was a dream of good government. You will soon have your God, and you will make it with your own hands."
-- Morpehus, Deus Ex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_Ex) ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Deus_Ex#Morpheus.2FDaedalus.2FIcarus )

"Yesterday we obeyed Kings and bent our necks to Emperors. Today we kneel only to Truth."
-- Kahlil Gibran, as quoted in Deus Ex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_Ex) ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Deus_Ex#Morpheus.2FDaedalus.2FIcarus )

"'Value' has no meaning other than in relationship to living beings. The value of a thing is always relative to a particular person, is completely personal and different in quantity for each living human—'market value' is a fiction, merely a rough guess at the average of personal values, all of which must be quantitatively different or trade would be impossible. [...] This very personal relationship, 'value,' has two factors for a human being: first, what he can do with a thing, its use to him… and second, what he must do to get it, its cost to him. There is an old song which asserts that 'the best things in life are free.' Not true! Utterly false! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experiments failed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted… and get it, without toil, without sweat, without tears."
-- Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers#Chapter_6 )

"Life? What 'right' to life has a man who is drowning in the Pacific? The ocean will not hearken to his cries. What 'right' to life has a man who must die to save his children? If he chooses to save his own life, does he do so as a matter of 'right?' If two men are starving and cannibalism is the only alternative to death, which man's right is 'unalienable?' And is it 'right?' As to liberty, the heroes who signed the great document pledged themselves to buy liberty with their lives. Liberty is never unalienable; it must be redeemed regularly with the blood of patriots or it always vanishes. Of all the so-called natural human rights that have ever been invented, liberty is least likely to be cheap and is never free of cost. The third 'right?'—the 'pursuit of happiness?' It is indeed unalienable but it is not a right; it is simply a universal condition which tyrants cannot take away nor patriots restore. Cast me into a dungeon, burn me at the stake, crown me king of kings, I can 'pursue happiness' as long as my brain lives—but neither gods nor saints, wise men nor subtle drugs, can insure that I will catch it."
-- Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers#Chapter_8 )

"I will accept the rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."
-- Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Heinlein#The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress_.281966.29 )

"'Do not try to bend the spoon; that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.'

'What truth?'

'There is no spoon.'

'There is no spoon?'

'Then you will see, it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.'"
-- The Matrix ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Matrix#Dialogue )

"'Why, Mr. Anderson? Why...why...why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?'

'Because I choose to.'"
-- The Matrix Revolutions ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Matrix_Revolutions )

"It is done."
-- The Matrix Revolutions ( http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Matrix_Revolutions#Other )

In the spirit of bringing a little more well-deserved Bierce to a thread of quotes:
"VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country." -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons." "How do you know that?" "Uh, well … we looked at the receipts."

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

No one – and I repeat, no one – has ever died for a flag. See, a flag … is just a piece of cloth. They may have died for freedom, which is also the freedom to burn the fucking flag, see. That's freedom.


All from the late Bill Hicks

“The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail, its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter, the rain may enter -- but the King of England cannot enter; all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement!”

William Pitt the Elder, 18th century British politician

I think the government should always remember this.

More Bill Hicks:

"People suck, there's too many of them, and they are easier to kill when they are fetuses than when they're growing up."

By what stretch of the imagination can anyone conceive of war as holy?
-me-

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

there is some debate as to where this quote actually came from.

man with no legs can not stand.

A man with no legs can not stand.
And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest.

There's a reason now is called the "present." It's a gift. The past is gone, and in the future you die, so the time you have, right now, is the most precious gift you could be given. Cherish it as such.

"If the least you can do is show some restraint, then the most you can do is get carried away!"
- The Futureheads (from Decent Days and Nights)


"To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be place[d] under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality."
- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon


"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow avision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life."
- Sanskrit poem


"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
- Plato


"Grown-ups are obsolete"
- unknown.


"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."
-George Bernard Shaw

And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest.

technically you call more attention to your bosom if you let them completely fall out of your shirt. prove me wrong.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs - Karl Marx

Spock!!
I'm sick of your half-breed interference!

And how freaking awesome of a thread it would then be! ;)

Agreed :)

Serious, serious trust issues. :rolleyes:
not just that, but also serious childhood developmental issues. Read all of Lyndon's famous quotes - they all concern either pissing, crapping, or other men's penises.
What Freud would have made of him...


back to the thread:
Since there seems to be a few Groucho Marx quotes around, I'll add in a few myself:
"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot."

""I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But, this wasn't it."

"I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home."

"Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you."

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it."

"Go, and never darken my towels again."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."


And here's a couple of Winston Churchill ones I like:
"He has all the virtues I hate and none of the vices I admire."

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to be quite true.
Samuel L. Jackson

"A witty saying proves nothing."-Voltaire

Self-defeating though...:D

"Whatever you are, be a good one."
- Abraham Lincoln

"It's not over, not over, not over yet" - Planet Perfecto (feat. Grace)

"It's not over, not over, not over yet" - Klaxons

"Je vais ou je vas mourir, l'un et l'autre se dit ou se disent." - Dominique Bouhours

"Love is like a rainbow; its beauty overwhelming to behold, but ephemeral and impossible to truly grasp"

- Me

DO A BARREL ROLL
-Peppy

not just that, but also serious childhood developmental issues. Read all of Lyndon's famous quotes - they all concern either pissing, crapping, or other men's penises.
What Freud would have made of him...


You do know who i was referring to, right? o.O

This is just too funny. :D