NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.ktvu.com/news/14033488/detail.html

The poor child. :(

Obviously this demonstrates the need to destroy sand dunes which are clearly a menace to our children. Our unsupervised, undereducated children must be encouraged and nurtured without tempting piles of naturally occurring shifting sands to beckon them to the dooms that anyone with half a wit could see coming. I now fully support global warming. By increasing the intensity of storm activity and the rise of sea levels, we can eradicate these sensitive and poorly understood ecological terrain features before they snuff the life from another unsuspecting and completely unwatched child. *nod*

P.S.: Nobody tunnels through mud. :)

http://www.ktvu.com/news/14033488/detail.html

The poor child. :(

Obviously this demonstrates the need to destroy sand dunes which are clearly a menace to our children. Our unsupervised, undereducated children must be encouraged and nurtured without tempting piles of naturally occurring shifting sands to beckon them to the dooms that anyone with half a wit could see coming. I now fully support global warming. By increasing the intensity of storm activity and the rise of sea levels, we can eradicate these sensitive and poorly understood ecological terrain features before they snuff the life from another unsuspecting and completely unwatched child. *nod*

P.S.: Nobody tunnels through mud. :)

No, the sand tunnel was no danger, it was the tree that fell on the tunnel that was the trouble and, let's face it, trees are causing all sorts of troubles for kids, kittens and more - and trees make oil, which is also bad.

I can't see any good use for trees since I discovered money does not grow on them.

No, the sand tunnel was no danger, it was the tree that fell on the tunnel that was the trouble and, let's face it, trees are causing all sorts of troubles for kids, kittens and more - and trees make oil, which is also bad.

I can't see any good use for trees since I discovered money does not grow on them.

My opinion of trees was dwindling quickly until one killed Sonny Bono. They get to live. :)

My opinion of trees was dwindling quickly until one killed Sonny Bono. They get to live. :)

After which the tree quipped 'Seems I got you babe' and then chuckled evilly before turning it's attention to that Kennedy kid.

I can't see any good use for trees since I discovered money does not grow on them.
Trees do seem to be very good at catching and holding discarded polythene bags, though. Credit where it's due. :)

Trees do seem to be very good at catching and holding discarded polythene bags, though. Credit where it's due. :)

Trees turn into oil, oil turns into polythene bags.

Bags (http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/news/stories/20051011/localnews/25523.shtml) kill kids as well

They're merely embracing their grandchildren.

No, the sand tunnel was no danger, it was the tree that fell on the tunnel that was the trouble and, let's face it, trees are causing all sorts of troubles for kids, kittens and more - and trees make oil, which is also bad.

I can't see any good use for trees since I discovered money does not grow on them.

BURN THE TREES!

Give me a tree over a bush anyday.

Give me a tree over a bush anyday.

So you like a nice big hardwood over a neatly trimmed bush?

I see its the usual bunch of sand-apologists. You people are never happy until you've railed against the wood our forefathers clubbed somebody with....

The real menace here is the sand, and its Dunisms. Its propensity for violence and Jihad can clearly be read in its holy book.

Trees turn into oil, oil turns into polythene bags.

Bags (http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/news/stories/20051011/localnews/25523.shtml) kill kids as well

They're merely embracing their grandchildren.
Very good points, those.

Perhaps, however, rather than it being them simply embracing their grandchildren, it is an attempt by the trees to make reparations by taking the polythene bags out of circulation before they can kill anyone.

This all leads me to one conclusion; The world is a dangerous place and parents aren't sheltering their kids enough. Nearly every household object has been used to accidentally harm or kill someone, so we should not allow children near any of them. Unfortunately we can't allow them outside the house either since everything out there is even more dangerous. The obvious solution is to construct isolation chambers and store our children in them until they're old enough to avoid danger on their own.

This all leads me to one conclusion; The world is a dangerous place and parents aren't sheltering their kids enough. Nearly every household object has been used to accidentally harm or kill someone, so we should not allow children near any of them. Unfortunately we can't allow them outside the house either since everything out there is even more dangerous. The obvious solution is to construct isolation chambers and store our children in them until they're old enough to avoid danger on their own.

We should package them thoroughly in bubble wrap and store them in cool dry places. *nod*

We should package them thoroughly in bubble wrap and store them in cool dry places. *nod*

You mean people don't do that already? I've got at least 30 kids in the freezer right this second

You mean people don't do that already? I've got at least 30 kids in the freezer right this second
No, don't put them together! The greatest danger that any child will ever face is another child.

No, don't put them together! The greatest danger that any child will ever face is another child.

He's right. No matter how good a parent you are, they will be corrupted and twisted into evil demons by other children. Even if they resist that, there are diseases, peer pressure, bullying, hurt feelings which could push them to suicide or to climb a clock tower with a high powered rifle... etc. Keep them isolated. *nod*

He's right. No matter how good a parent you are, they will be corrupted and twisted into evil demons by other children. Even if they resist that, there are diseases, peer pressure, bullying, hurt feelings which could push them to suicide or to climb a clock tower with a high powered rifle... etc. Keep them isolated. *nod*

But keeping them isolated would cost untold amounts. The problem must be dealt with head on by parents being allowed to shoot other children on sight. Remember that the family is the foundation of society!!!!Think of the Children!!!!!

But keeping them isolated would cost untold amounts. The problem must be dealt with head on by parents being allowed to shoot other children on sight. Remember that the family is the foundation of society!!!!Think of the Children!!!!!

Not only are we on the right track, but I think we are behind the pack. Clearly someone hired that sand dune to eliminate the threat. *nod*

Not only are we on the right track, but I think we are behind the pack. Clearly someone hired that sand dune to eliminate the threat. *nod*

Indeed. Should any Dunes/Trees have survived we should apologise to them.....(Or maybe just 'offer sympathy' as an apology could be seen as admission of some sort of guilt on our part....we wouldn't want to see ourselves subject to actions over damages)

Could we not just encourage them to run with scissors?

Could we not just encourage them to run with scissors?

Now thats just tasteless.

The sad thing is that, as a parent, LG starts these threads seriously but they're side-tracked by people who just think he's being funny.

He really does keep his kids in bubble wrap.

The sad thing is that, as a parent, LG starts these threads seriously but they're side-tracked by people who just think he's being funny.

He really does keep his kids in bubble wrap.

How dare you? I use newspaper. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. :)

Obviously this demonstrates the need to destroy sand dunes which are clearly a menace to our children.

Yeah! Let's blast the sand dunes into dust... oh wait...

How dare you? I use newspaper. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. :)

Good job, LG. Your actions have ensured that one day, one of your surviving children will be able to securely wrap up your grandchildren.

Oh, and make sure to use a local paper. After floor covers for painting, their only useful use is wrapping up the kiddies.

http://www.ktvu.com/news/14033488/detail.html

The poor child. :(

Obviously this demonstrates the need to destroy sand dunes which are clearly a menace to our children. Our unsupervised, undereducated children must be encouraged and nurtured without tempting piles of naturally occurring shifting sands to beckon them to the dooms that anyone with half a wit could see coming. I now fully support global warming. By increasing the intensity of storm activity and the rise of sea levels, we can eradicate these sensitive and poorly understood ecological terrain features before they snuff the life from another unsuspecting and completely unwatched child. *nod*

P.S.: Nobody tunnels through mud. :)and this is why proper planning, zoning, and getting an EIA done is soo important BEFORE you start excavating. Doesn't anyone learn from all these mine cave-ins!!!

How dare you? I use newspaper. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. :)

not to mention they can brush up- on their reading skills... and the ink runoffs are better than makeup. :D

Paper mache childrens!

He's right. No matter how good a parent you are, they will be corrupted and twisted into evil demons by other children. Even if they resist that, there are diseases, peer pressure, bullying, hurt feelings which could push them to suicide or to climb a clock tower with a high powered rifle... etc. Keep them isolated. *nod*

Indeed. Preferably in the mines. Thats pretty isolated.

What a dumbass. Shame his brother and parents didn't die with him.

What part of soft sand collapses easy is so hard to understand? I never dig further than 5 metres from the waves, if even 3.

What a dumbass. Shame his brother and parents didn't die with him.

What part of soft sand collapses easy is so hard to understand? I never dig further than 5 metres from the waves, if even 3.

Are you seriously saying that you as a child never did anything risky at all?

Maybe this is an east coast thing, but we tend to have more littler in the dunes than trees..

and this is why proper planning, zoning, and getting an EIA done is soo important BEFORE you start excavating. Doesn't anyone learn from all these mine cave-ins!!!


Not now that the liberals have removed children from the mining industry, no.

Not now that the liberals have removed children from the mining industry, no.

Damnit... let the Minors Dig!!!

Damnit... let the Minors Dig!!!

Why thats compassionate conservatism if ever I heard it.

'Know where your children are at night. Put them down' pit.'

(or in' mill, local industry depending)

Why thats compassionate conservatism if ever I heard it.

'Know where your children are at night. Put them down' pit.'

(or in' mill, local industry depending)

ah, but if he had the proper skills, then he would've known not to excavate that dune. not without proper materials, safety precautions, and an EIA. :p

Despite great encouragement from young and old alike, he steadfastly refused to play with traffic as a child.

You haven't lived as a child until you've been hit by a car and run over by a truck. He must of at least played with all of his electrical toys while in the bath right?

Are you seriously saying that you as a child never did anything risky at all?


Despite great encouragement from young and old alike, he steadfastly refused to play with traffic as a child.

I can't help but think you guys are oppressing me.

I can't help but think you guys are oppressing me.

*waves a bag of grass seed around menacingly*

I can't help but think you guys are oppressing me.
We're not "oppressing" you, we're villainizing you. It is completely different.

*waves a bag of grass seed around menacingly**pre-emptively desertificates*

We're not "oppressing" you, we're villainizing you. It is completely different.Fine, but this is still harassment and prejudice, you flag-waving, jingoistic, bigoted, opinionated, doctrinaire.

I spent a few minutes rifling though thesaurus.reference.com (http://thesaurus.reference.com) to find that last one.

. . . doctrinaire . . .
That's a new one to me. According to my handy dictionary.
Doctrinaire (noun) - A stubborn person of arbitrary or arrogant opinions
Well, that's probably the most accurate designation anyone on NSG has ever attempted to append to me. My hat is off to you and your verbal resources, goodsir.