NationStates Jolt Archive

That's right ladies, time to drink up the rumtoddies and play with your crystal balls. Sim wants your wit, doom, gloom, and whatever else you care to offer. Dark handsome strangers included, of course.

I'll start.

***

In the not so distant future, orthodox Christian and Muslims have at last united. The common ground is vast, and the common enemies, education, gender equality, social freedoms, are greater still.

The result isn't the dark ages all over again, or at least, not completely. Leaders of the groups know, of course, they'll need to preserve a massive technological edge over the rabble, to keep said rabble in line. Boogiemen & bugbears won't do it alone.

After decades of consolidating power and waging war on us wrongheaded ones, the orthodox have all but won. And all is well, except, now there's no enemies to slaughter. No more convenient demographics to victimize for the the all-prevailing, all-corrupt world Church-Government. The population, kept ignorant through decades of undermining education and fostering mistrust and hatred of academia, don't know how to do anything, despite great advances in science. And with the end of wars, the global population is exploding.

Fearing global class war and a reckoning with the Church-Government, provoked by inevitable resource scarcity and the massive gap between Priest and poor, the fearless leaders turn to one of their first scientific breakthroughs in their war on immorality: human sexual orientation.

It's the logical thing to do. It's the one requiring the least revision of scripture. And it's easy to implement. Soon the Most Holy science vaults are hard at work developing ways to induce homosexuality through bottled water and GMOs. Having already banned the use of seeds and rainwater, and having privatised global infrastructure in Most Holy Evanglerations, distribution is already in place, and sure to target every last peon on the planet.

And thus, only a handful of years later, Straight marriages are banned. Abortions are mandatory, pregnancies punishable by life in prison, and all legal children are born in a test tube.

***

It's probably not an original idea. Few ever are. But it struck me while I was putting in the last desperate efforts to finish some work so I could get an hours sleep. Something that idea thoroughly sabotaged. Anyway, it's still got me chuckling, so I thought I'd forgo the sleep and share it with you lot. And at the same time ask for your predictions for the future. Deep, serious thinking isn't required, but don't let that discourage you. Think of it as a great spammy way not to spam, and perhaps an even better way to bash your least favourite ideology/religion/car brand/whatever. Have fun. And give me something to laugh about when I check back later.

My prediction: we all get older, and eventually die.

It's probably not an original idea. Few ever are.

My prediction: I'll sleep and go to class in the morning.

Big bang.....all gone!!

POOF!!

i predict that in the future there will be robots.

i predict that in the future there will be robots.
The future is now!! :)

CanuckHeaven and I will be roommates, then he will find me dead in my bedroom.

As I gaze into my crystal ball, I... can... see... something!

Men... in military uniforms... on campus... in the cafeteria... in the science lab... they're everywhere!

What does this mean?

CanuckHeaven and I will be roommates, then he will find me dead in my bedroom.
Ohhh the horrors.....I hear voices already!! :eek:

I predict after Angelina and Brad Pitt adopt their 19th kid one ends up dead and the other in a mental institution. Who ends up dead is still to be debated.

What does this mean?
You go to uni in the Bronx? .. or one of those "Fort" places. Depends on the colour of your skin.
Ohhh the horrors.....I hear voices already!! :eek:

You hear them too?!

As I gaze into my crystal ball, I... can... see... something!

Men... in military uniforms... on campus... in the cafeteria... in the science lab... they're everywhere!

What does this mean?

It means you need to quit playing Half-Life.

I predict my eldest son's tenth birthday will go a little something like this:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/78481

I predict my eldest son's tenth birthday will go a little something like this:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/78481
Like I said.....big bang......all gone!! :D

The future is now!! :)

I maintain that the future started sometime around 1996.

Men... in military uniforms... on campus... in the cafeteria... in the science lab... they're everywhere!

What does this mean?

It means the kids in your local ROTC program are cheesedick douchebags who think it's cool to wear their uniforms around campus.

You hear them too?!
Yes, and they are very annoying (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn1jrsXRN_Q).

The prediction in the first post sounds alot like a book i read a long time ago, dont remember the name but the highlights are.
All the world except for the north american continant have been devestated by nuclear war the remaining land is ruled by theocracy with a population that has stopped growing at around 1 billion. beyond that i cant remember much else.

We will all be wearing shiny silver clothes, we will eat only pills, robots will do the housework, there will hover cars and personal jetpacks. And the music will be really bad.

i predict that in the future there will be robots.

In the future after that, the robots will manufacture humans who will turn on their masters and utterly destroy the robotic utopia that the robots have made from themselves: Robutopia.

We will all be wearing shiny silver clothes, we will eat only pills, robots will do the housework, there will hover cars and personal jetpacks. And the music will be really bad.

So it will be like now with hover cars and personal jetpacks? Things are looking up! :)

So it will be like now with hover cars and personal jetpacks? Things are looking up! :)

The comedy potential of personal jetpacks is what will make the future so good.

The comedy potential of personal jetpacks is what will make the future so good.

That'll have it's own cable network channel. :)

The HURD will reach version 1.0 and on exactly that date, M$ will go chapter 11.

Vanuatu will qualify for the world cup.

The pirate party of Germany will win seats in the Bundestag.

...

I end up becoming a bureaucrat for some obscure government office, and inadvertently I stumble upon the location of where our tax dollars really go to. Namely, the funding of a media obsessed with celebrities like Paris, Britney, and Owen.

Actually, the answer to my prediction is that today is Tuesday, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the ROTC students are REQUIRED to wear their uniforms on campus.

I end up becoming a bureaucrat for some obscure government office, and inadvertently I stumble upon the location of where our tax dollars really go to.

We can go together! I've heard rumours of a toilet clogged with $100 notes behind the office of Births, Deaths and Marriages...

Actually, the answer to my prediction is that today is Tuesday, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the ROTC students are REQUIRED to wear their uniforms on campus.

When I was in ROTC we were only required to wear them to our mil sci classes and to lab. We were allowed to wear them to other classes, but doing so is a definite sign of douchebaggery.

The year will be 2101, and war is begining.

The Future,

http://heykidscomics.com/blog_07120602.jpg

:)

Yes, and they are very annoying (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn1jrsXRN_Q).

lol :D

The year will be 2101, and war is begining.
Which makes it different from every other year in the history of the world, how?

My opinions of the future have been stated enough times...

Somebody like myself uncovers Formula 410. Within a matter of weeks, the world is a clean, sterile, and hygenic place where dirt has been elimintaed.

Which makes it different from every other year in the history of the world, how?

Someone will come along on a holographic projector, and say "All your base are belong to us"

All the world except for the north american continant have been devestated by nuclear war...???

wait.. so in that scenario: there is going to be a WW3.. and the US is somehow not involved?

IMO, here is the most likely starters of WW3

US/Israel bomb Iran.
China tries to invades Taiwan, US tries to stop China.
US bomb North Korea (cooling down).

I see a resurgent Soviet Union allied with China, India, the Middle East, and Africa. Wot!

In the year 2000..

I predict that advances in genetic science will make retroactive gene modification the new fad, not unlike tattoos and piercings.

Except we'll all be growing claws and stuff.

Yes, and they are very annoying (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn1jrsXRN_Q).

Mwahahaha!!!

Let's see...the future...

Richard Nixon's head will be elected President of Earth.

The anchovy will be extinct because of the Decapodians.

Earth will do battle with immortals from 1,000 light years away.

Robots will enjoy stealing.

People will live to 160.

Mars will have jungles, an atmosphere, and a university.

And well before this all takes place, my Siamese cat will actually succeed in becoming more evil.

I haven't gotten to predicting the future, I'm still working on past predictions.

It means the kids in your local ROTC program are cheesedick douchebags who think it's cool to wear their uniforms around campus.

Hey, lay off the ROTC men and women! :D Uniforms are mandatory when they are on campus on dress days. Don't think they enjoy boot-polishing and uniform-starching, either.

CanuckHeaven and I will be roommates, then he will find me dead in my bedroom.


I predict you will be held as an example of the dangers of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Google continues to purchase dozens of small, highly specialised technology firms. Their true goal is finally revealed when they launch a globe-spanning, high speed, free (but adsense supported) wifi network. Society collapses as everyone can now browse NSG from anywhere on the planet.

The Blue Brain project successfully simulates a portion of the human brain, and is expanded, eventually resulting in a fully functioning, simulated human brain. It's huge and clunky, but has established that AI using biological models is the easiest method of development. The AI is functionally sentient, but with a low comparitive IQ due to limits in processing power.

Processing power continues to advance, perhaps with laser-diode CPUs or viable quantum computing. The AI is suddenly a great deal faster, and allows us to develop a second generation AI in tandem with it.

Second generation AI designs third generation designs fourth designs fifth ad infinitum. AI becomes ridiculously intelligent. AI takes over all human scientific processing. New technological discoveries are made at an exponentially faster rate, thanks to the AI's ultrafast thinking capacity.

First brain-machine implants allow Google wifi connections to be used to access the internet directly from your mind. Digital telepathy ensues. Perfect brain mapping and cloning allow for full-mind backups and reinsertion into new bodies. Infinite lifespans ensue.

Beyond this we can no longer accurately predict technology, because the advent of a significantly more intelligent AI that's capable of improving itself exponentially is a singularity event, and results in a technological event horizon.

Hey, lay off the ROTC men and women! :D Uniforms are mandatory when they are on campus on dress days. Don't think they enjoy boot-polishing and uniform-starching, either.

As I said, when I was in ROTC we only wore uniform to class and lab.

Also, my university's ROTC just switched to ACU's. Useless cadidiot bastards, aren't even going to learn to iron and shine properly! What's the Army coming to these days?

The prediction in the first post sounds alot like a book i read a long time ago, dont remember the name but the highlights are.
All the world except for the north american continant have been devestated by nuclear war the remaining land is ruled by theocracy with a population that has stopped growing at around 1 billion. beyond that i cant remember much else.That doesn't sound very similar, does it? Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the first who thought up something like the prediction I made. Unique ideas are few and far between with so many people around. But if you're curious, it sort of evolved out of thinking about climate change, corporatism, anti-intellectualism and the resource scarcity that'll likely hit us because of it. Not that it in any way was meant as a serious prediction for the future. On the contrary, a serious prediction from me would involve world religions getting increasingly marginalized and eventually removed from public life altogether.<Snip>I like :) Also sounds like a good setting for an SF novel.

Me?

Well, in a lot of ways we're looking at more of the same, the game really won't change.

As the price of oil continues to skyrocket, the increasingly insular western countries have been able to pool all of their resources for one, final bid at energy independence. Neither particularly religious or secular, this is a creature built of desperation. An the end result of this new alliance is the economic and technical exchanges of these countries. The dark side of this development, though, is a rebirth of nationalism, not merely German, French, British or American, but Occidental nationalism. Spawned from the European Union, a consciousness of a greater 'western' society has emerged, and engulfed all of Europe east of Russia and the US and Canada. This new, Occidental Union is an isolationist and insular creature, not openly hostile or racist, but not openly welcoming to new members. The radical new technologies have altered the very fabric of life in the west, and the potential benefit the rest of the world could derive is immense. Only the rise of Occidental Nationalism prevents the spread of this technology to the rest of the world.

China and India, once touted as the economic powerhouses of the future are struggling due to their overdependence on fossil fuels. They have been locked out of this new technology as part of the old game of geopolitics and relative advantage. So, while everyone would benefit if these newly arisen giants had access to the energy sources developed by the Occidentals, hundreds of millions starve instead.

Africa has managed to leave the twentieth century behind, and while not militarily strong, they have developed a sustainable, indigenous economic system. Loosely based on free trade and markets with newly developed property rights codification, it is also extremely localized and shockingly unreliant on oil and automobiles. Telecommunications is carried out through a series of wireless cell towers across the continent, and all the rhinoceros are dead.

Latin America has suffered a series of devastating league wars between the Colombia-Uruguay-Panama-Chile-Mexico-Costa Rica Alliance and the Venezuela-Cuba-Bolivia-Paraguay-Nicaragua-Argentina Alliance, with Honduras regularly flipping sides. There has been no clear winner in any of the league wars, which have resulted in the deaths of tens of millions. The great irony is that the opening shots of the first three wars were fired on accident.

The middle east still sucks balls, and the Israelis and Palestinians still hate each others guts.

The Japanese are still weird as hell, with a continuing obsession with school girls, tentacle monsters and exploding suicide death penguins.

We're already in the future. The future is a barren waste land with robot cities all around the world. Our bodies reside near the one called 01. We are inside a computer simulation because mankind has lost the war against the machines in the late 21st century! Of course we were the one who started it, but still. Very few of us were able to see the real world, and trust me you do not want to see it.