NationStates Jolt Archive

So what types of fetishes do the people in NSGland have? I was on a christian forum site and saw this one and it made want to die:

I have a whipped cream fettish. It is a sexual turn on. Even when I go to the salad bar at Shoneys, when I see whipped cream, I get an erection.


For me, its stockings(but not feet). What about you?

what kind of salad does whipped cream go on?

So what types of fetishes do the people in NSGland have?

Ummmm.....let's just say the last topic I started on this subject got locked...

I don't think I have any fetishes.

Sexual fetishism is the attribution of attractive sexual qualities to non-living objects as an overwhelming alternative to the sexuality of a man or a woman, or as an enhancing element to a relationship.

yeah, I don't have any.

How can I say these without getting in trouble?

Pegging
Another I definitely won't say, so you're out of luck


On second thought, no.

Ummmm.....let's just say the last topic I started on this subject got locked...

Oh darn! :headbang:

Preppy chicks. I'm a hemp wearing slacker, and my fellow slacker chicks are cool, no doubt-wearing loose fitting corduroy pants and ironic t-shirts and having their own weed (and sometimes being able to get it on the cheap because the dude that sells it to her wants to hook up with her but shes purposefully ignorant of his intentions), but for some reason those preppy chicks...kind of like a forbiden fruit, or I get to feel like I'm a corrupting influence or something.

I don't know. Can't get enough of 'em. Only actually dated one other slacker chick, all the rest have been preppy chicks...

EDIT: And slacker chicks tend to like tall skinny guys...



...who can get them discount weed...

http://www.outsports.com/ggames02/loadedImages/N5-MikeSF-w2.jpg

Chest hair. And swimmers. Don't have to be combined.

How can I say these without getting in trouble?

Pegging
Another I definitely won't say, so you're out of luck


On second thought, no.

haha. (that's really more of an activity you enjoy than a fetish, a fetish would be like if you were in love with shoes)

http://www.outsports.com/ggames02/loadedImages/N5-MikeSF-w2.jpg

Chest hair. And swimmers. Don't have to be combined.

Aren't swimmers universal? Like chicks and gay dudes alike the world over like the swimmer body? Hell, if I had to choose a dude it'd be swimmers, it's easy to see their appeal even if I don't go in for dudes.

Aren't swimmers universal? Like chicks and gay dudes alike the world over like the swimmer body?

But, it's not just the body, it's the whole swimming... thing. The speedos, the athleticism, the underwater play...

Hell, if I had to choose a dude it'd be swimmers, it's easy to see their appeal even if I don't go in for dudes.

Yet.

Aren't swimmers universal? Like chicks and gay dudes alike the world over like the swimmer body? Hell, if I had to choose a dude it'd be swimmers, it's easy to see their appeal even if I don't go in for dudes.

There is something about the lithe smooth muscles. I'm rather plain vanilla in my proclivities. Though I will say there's something about a guy in tighty whities, like a present waiting to be unwrapped.

While I dont have any particular fetish, I like wild and crazy things.
I crave variety! Mostly sensation play, but were I to go into any details the mods would get upset.

All I have to say is that in a mere 2 weeks I will be off at summer camp with 400 other kinky people for 5 days of... ahem... exploring unusual activities in a sex positive atmosphere.

But, it's not just the body, it's the whole swimming... thing. The speedos, the athleticism, the underwater play...
Still think that goes for a lot of people into dudes...



Yet.
Dude, I live in San Francisco and work in theater. If it hasn't happened yet, it ain't gonna.

What am I into that's unusual? Nothing too unusual...I like the usual things...you know, females...

As for what kind of female I'm into...well, I know there are others out there like me, but bot to that degree...I like, let's say, a little more than most guys can handle...

Still think that goes for a lot of people into dudes...

I can share. I'm not one of those "everything other people like sucks" people.

Dude, I live in San Francisco and work in theater. If it hasn't happened yet, it ain't gonna.

And you think I'm supposed to believe that second sentence in light of that?

How can I say these without getting in trouble?

Pegging
Another I definitely won't say, so you're out of luck


On second thought, no.

Very nice...the one you listed sounds like fun...especially from a lady who's my type... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BBW)

I can share. I'm not one of those "everything other people like sucks" people.



And you think I'm supposed to believe that second sentence in light of that?
Aren't you a good looking doctor? There's more ve jay jay lined up 'round the corner for that than there is dick lined up for me and you haven't swayed...

Pegging is fun I agree.

I'm not sure if I have any turn-ons that could be considered a fetish, but I do have a ton of turn-ons.

Far, far too many to list :)

Aren't you a good looking doctor? There's more ve jay jay lined up 'round the corner for that than there is dick lined up for me and you haven't swayed...

That's different. Vajayjay is nasty, while cock is lickable.

That's different. Vajayjay is nasty, while cock is lickable.

See, I disagree. The only way vajayjay could get any better is if it had a tongue.

But that's another discussion...

I find ice oddly sexy yet I hate winter...

That's different. Vajayjay is nasty, while cock is lickable.

:D truth.

That's different. Vajayjay is nasty, while cock is lickable.

Quoted for absolute, mind-bending truthness. And yeah, I know truthness isn't actually a word.

Also, I share the love of swimmers, except I like mine hairless. Nothing like a smooth, cut, hairless torso glimmering with water droplets on a sexy guy wearing a speedo to make me drool on myself with a retarded look of happiness on my face.

One thing is clear.


I should have stayed on the swim team...(except I don't have that tall lean body...no matter how much I swam I still have a line backers body. And I hate (american)football...

cool hhhwhip

One thing is clear.


I should have stayed on the swim team...(except I don't have that tall lean body...no matter how much I swam I still have a line backers body. And I hate (american)football...

It's never too late to become a sex god and the object of desire of all beings attracted to males.

I pretty much got a natural swimmer's body myself, lean and thin. I expect to start swimming regularly this semester, so I ought to gain a bit more muscle mass. Here's hoping it makes a difference and lets me attract a nice boyfriend. With luck I might be able to hit on one of the guys on the swim team... *drools*

I think my weirdest thing is ears.

It's not like they give me hard-ons or anything, but when with a gal I have a subconscious tendency to play with her ears.

It was my last girl who pointed it out to me, I hadn't realized it. Thinking back though, I noticed it was a running thing.

It's never too late to become a sex god and the object of desire of all beings attracted to males.
Chicks, too. Which is my target audience.

Dude, I live in San Francisco and work in theater. If it hasn't happened yet, it ain't gonna.

I'll meet you at the Ghirardelli Chocolate festival when I get there Sept 8th with my wife. Say... noonish? :p Bring a fatty cuz I am too afraid to travel with it on the plane. :D

Also, I share the love of swimmers, except I like mine hairless.

How someone can pick something like that over this (http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-06/17/xin_570601171146080353610.jpg), I will never understand.

I'll meet you at the Ghirardelli Chocolate festival when I get there Sept 8th with my wife. Say... noonish? :p Bring a fatty cuz I am too afraid to travel with it on the plane. :D

Double suckage, I'll be in Sacramento watching my friend getting married and my guy is dry until mid-Sept.

Otherwise, totally...

Air makes me horny. :)

cool hhhwhip

Meg: Brian, you're acting really hhhwierd.

Brian: I kno-- hey, wait a minute, there isn't even an "h" in it! :)

Double suckage, I'll be in Sacramento watching my friend getting married and my guy is dry until mid-Sept.

Otherwise, totally...

Another NSG meet bites the dust. :p

I mostly feel bad that your guy is dry for so long! Noooooooooooo!

Have great fun at the wedding CTOAN!

Meg: Brian, you're acting really hhhwierd.

Brian: I kno-- hey, wait a minute, there isn't even an "h" in it! :)

yay! :fluffle:

Clothing. Jeans, uniforms, and lately, underwear.

How can I say these without getting in trouble?Try UMP. ;)

Quoted for absolute, mind-bending truthness. And yeah, I know truthness isn't actually a word.

It's truthiness. Jeez, I thought Stephen Colbert was some sort of deity around here.

:cool: If she's less than twice my size and/or doesn't enjoy keeping me in handcuffs and a blindfold, she's no fun. ;)

Yes, and I do love underwear. Of all varieties. Usually with nothing else.

How someone can pick something like that over this (http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-06/17/xin_570601171146080353610.jpg), I will never understand.

me either. Chest hair I guess is my "fetish" if you guys are going to extend that word to mean "something I like".

I'll tread carefully here, in the hopes of avoiding bringing the Wrath of Mod down upon the thread (or just me).

Restraining as much as possible my (female) partner during sex. Ropes, leather belts, handcuffs, gags, chains, even cable-ties... actually, especially cable-ties!
Not every time, and always with full and comprehensive consent, but nonetheless - there's nothing gets my motor running over than a good domination session! Yummy.
Also spanking, biting, face-slapping (not always with my hand), hair-pulling, tickling... basically if it doesn't involve bodily waste, I'm there.

I'm surprised, and impressed, with the number of bedpals I've had who've been apprehensive when I've first raised the subject, but ended up absolutely loving submitting. I think it's to do with the lack of effort involved on their part, they're happy to lie there (they can't really do much else) and let me do all the hard work.
I can only think of one in the last five years who outright declined to be bound, but she turned out to be a fiend for being spanked really hard, so it all worked out in the end (pun intended).

And I always cuddle afterwards. Can't take someone to a dark place without making sure they get back safe and secure.

I'll tread carefully here, in the hopes of avoiding bringing the Wrath of Mod down upon the thread (or just me).

Restraining as much as possible my (female) partner during sex. Ropes, leather belts, handcuffs, gags, chains, even cable-ties... actually, especially cable-ties!
Not every time, and always with full and comprehensive consent, but nonetheless - there's nothing gets my motor running over than a good domination session! Yummy.
Also spanking, biting, face-slapping (not always with my hand), hair-pulling, tickling... basically if it doesn't involve bodily waste, I'm there.

I'm surprised, and impressed, with the number of bedpals I've had who've been apprehensive when I've first raised the subject, but ended up absolutely loving submitting. I think it's to do with the lack of effort involved on their part, they're happy to lie there (they can't really do much else) and let me do all the hard work.
I can only think of one in the last five years who outright declined to be bound, but she turned out to be a fiend for being spanked really hard, so it all worked out in the end (pun intended).

And I always cuddle afterwards. Can't take someone to a dark place without making sure they get back safe and secure.

I think a lot of people are a little worried to bring down the Wrath of Mod, but as long as there's nothing too graphic, I think it's probably OK.

Frankly, the honesty in the above post is a little refreshing.

Fetishes? Nah.

Umm my wife has wooden carving of a Thai Bhudda that I have always found quite powerful?

Try UMP. ;)

WHat is UMP, for the unwashed, kinky masses?

WHat is UMP, for the unwashed, kinky masses?

why, yes, yes it is.

why, yes, yes it is.

Wait, what? I was trying to figure out what it was...unless something went over my head...UMP could mean just about anything...

;) Unlimited Male Punishment...sorry, that's my fantasy... :)

Underwear Men Prefer?

I think a lot of people are a little worried to bring down the Wrath of Mod, but as long as there's nothing too graphic, I think it's probably OK.

Frankly, the honesty in the above post is a little refreshing.

Thanks!

I found a great book, Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook, some years ago when I first started exploring the 'darker' aspects of my psyche.
First, it gave me a context for some of the thoughts I'd been having, let me know I wasn't alone.
Second, it's well written and highly practical - the chapters on knots, and particularly which knots come undone easily and which have a tendency to get stuck, has been invaluable, and I refresh-read it every year or so to stay fresh.

The chapter on ways to set up safety precautions for playing with new partners is fantastic:
Set a time limit for the first 'session'. Give a friend the address you'll be at, and arrange to call them by a certain time. If you don't call by the agreed time, the friend sends the cops to said address.
As extra security, arrange a code word. So if you call on time but don't mention the code word, they call the police. This allows for the 'psycho holding a knife to your throat while you make the 'all-clear' phone call' scenario.
But most important, tell the person you're meeting, beforehand, that you've put this safety precaution in place, and encourage them to do the same.
If they're hostile to the idea, DO NOT GO THERE!
Prevention is always better than cure.

Whenever I encounter a playmate who's unsure, but not hostile, to the idea of bondage play (which has been most of them), I've given them a loan of this book.
In doing so, I've always called their specific attention to the above-mentioned chapter.

Bondage involves an incredible amount of trust. It's the most fundamental misunderstanding people make about it.
"How can you let someone do that to you?" Because I trust them. Because they trust me.
Because our lives are riddled with unbalanced power structures, and taking control of a form of power, whether by dominating or by submitting, can bring an acceptance, a peace of mind, and a more realistic outlook on power structures.

I'm endlessly frustrated by the Western hypocrisy of "we're all individuals, freedom and liberty, etc" when most of us submit daily to oppressive work power structures that have little, if any, basis on merit. We live in fear of the asshole boss who lords their power over us and will fire us if we object or stand up for ourselves. Or the power of the tax-man, or the government eavesdropper, or some other entity of the police state...

Trust has to be earned. By being the more knowledgeable partner, and giving them valuable advice on how to protect themselves from me in case I am psycho, I earn a lot of trust quickly.

Which means I get to keep my playmates, rather than traumitising them.

It's not just trust on the part of the submissive party either - I want to know that I'm not going to be later accused of wrongdoing or abuse for an informed and consensual act that they've later decided to regret.

Edit: I just had a giggling fit, as I clicked the "Submit reply" button...

The whipped cream fetish at the salad bar...hi-larious!

I don't have any fetishes but I do fancy seeing a nice guy smiling and laughing. It is just so endearing and sexy.

Set a time limit for the first 'session'. Arrange to phone a friend by a certain time, and give them the address you'll be at. If you don't call by the agreed time, the friend sends the cops to said address.
As extra security, arrange a code word. So if you call on time but don't mention the code word, they call the police. This allows for the 'psycho holding a knife to your throat while you make the 'all-clear' phone call' scenario.
But most important, tell the person you're meeting, beforehand, that you've put this safety precaution in place, and encourage them to do the same.
If they're hostile to the idea, DO NOT GO THERE!
Prevention is always better than cure.

I never would have thought of something that elaborate, given that I haven't had the chance to experiment much with my deepest desires...but wow, that's pretty good. I guess there are 'how-to' books for everything.

Plus, although I tend to be on the other end of the spectrum from you, I do think that it's important that both parties are enjoying themselves and that the time spent together is genuine. If it's at one person's expense, or one person has an ulterior motive, it's a bit of a buzzkill.

Bondage involves an incredible amount of trust. It's the most fundamental misunderstanding people make about it.
"How can you let someone do that to you?" Because I trust them. Because they trust me.
Because our lives are riddled with unbalanced power structures, and taking control of a form of power, whether by dominating or by submitting, can bring an acceptance, a peace of mind, and a more realistic outlook on power structures.

My outlook on sexuality definitely gives me a different perspective on power structures. Given that I am very attracted to women who are often considered "undesirable," I find myself looking at power structures and "the way things are" and seeing them for what they are - a ridiculous farce.

I would love to have a level of trust that is so deep that a lady could do absolutely anything to me and I would accept it because I trust her. I have never found that level of understanding, and I have often thought it doesn't exist. People are so inhibited.

I'm endlessly frustrated by the Western hypocrisy of "we're all individuals, freedom and liberty, etc" when most of us submit daily to oppressive work power structures that have little, if any, basis on merit. We live in fear of the asshole boss who lords their power over us and will fire us if we object or stand up for ourselves. Or the power of the tax-man, or the government eavesdropper, or some other entity of the police state...

No kidding. And those power structures extend into our own private lives. Politicians and famous people can get away with the most brutal, degrading, and vile practices, yet the simple act of playing rough behind closed doors is frowned upon in our society, where sex of all kinds is virtually taboo.

Trust has to be earned. By being the more knowledgeable partner, and giving them valuable advice on how to protect themselves from me in case I am psycho, I earn a lot of trust quickly.

Which means I get to keep my playmates, rather than traumitising them.

It's not just trust on the part of the submissive party either - I want to know that I'm not going to be later accused of wrongdoing or abuse for an informed and consensual act that they've later decided to regret.

If I stumble on anyone whose outlook on life is like that, I'm latching on, and if it continues, I'm never letting go.

(I am married, but I'm not inhibited...)

Edit: I just had a giggling fit, as I clicked the "Submit reply" button...

Well, you don't do a lot of submitting, of course...for those of us who do, it's a very normal thing...

Wait, what? I was trying to figure out what it was...unless something went over my head...UMP could mean just about anything...

;) Unlimited Male Punishment...sorry, that's my fantasy... :)

Underwear Men Prefer?

check your TG's in about 3 minutes.

check your TG's in about 3 minutes.

Perhaps one could be rerouted to me.

Perhaps one could be rerouted to me.

Done. And a thanks to Smunkee for that.

Aren't swimmers universal? Like chicks and gay dudes alike the world over like the swimmer body? Hell, if I had to choose a dude it'd be swimmers, it's easy to see their appeal even if I don't go in for dudes.

That may work for people who are attracted to men (whether they are men or women), but not all female swimmers are universally attractive.

http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=69185&rendTypeId=4

Maybe for some, but not for all.

i like noises.... making my lady moan and stuff.... major turn on :D

i like noises.... making my lady moan and stuff.... major turn on :D

That I can definitely agree with...dead silence is a little weird...

:cool: Ideally, mine are muffled, and hers are very nasty, but hey, to each their own. :)

It's hard to get over being nervous about it, though...you don't want to sound like a total idiot...

i like noises.... making my lady moan and stuff.... major turn on :D

You mean Glitz? :D

That may work for people who are attracted to men (whether they are men or women), but not all female swimmers are universally attractive.

http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=69185&rendTypeId=4

Maybe for some, but not for all.

That's a man. Or it used to be.

That's a man. Or it used to be.

With some people you can never be sure. And even if you check the genitals, you can still be wrong.

That's a man. Or it used to be.

Or someone who went a little nutso with the 'roids.

That's a man. Or it used to be.

Whether she used to be or not, she's still got broader shoulders and bigger forearms than me. :eek:

So what types of fetishes do the people in NSGland have? I was on a christian forum site and saw this one and it made want to die:



For me, its stockings(but not feet). What about you?

Was I the only one to read whipped cream and chips? I thought this was going to be another food thread.

I never would have thought of something that elaborate, given that I haven't had the chance to experiment much with my deepest desires...but wow, that's pretty good. I guess there are 'how-to' books for everything.

Neither would I, but having read it the first time, it basically put everything into context. I hadn't really appreciated how fundamental trust (in terms of play) was until I realised that it was my responsibility to ensure the other person was as informed as I was, in order to truly gain consent.

Plus, although I tend to be on the other end of the spectrum from you, I do think that it's important that both parties are enjoying themselves and that the time spent together is genuine. If it's at one person's expense, or one person has an ulterior motive, it's a bit of a buzzkill.

I agree fully.
Many times I've recognised that I've had some kind of anger or unresolved tension with a playmate, and have declined to engage in power play precisely because it would be tainted by my feelings. If I'm in a power role and I'm unclear about my feelings or motives, then there's a possibility of crossing the line. That's dangerous. So I just won't go there unless we're both in a good mood and really want to.

My outlook on sexuality definitely gives me a different perspective on power structures. Given that I am very attracted to women who are often considered "undesirable," I find myself looking at power structures and "the way things are" and seeing them for what they are - a ridiculous farce.

Again, I agree fully. Bondage has empowered me in so many ways, but foremost because it's given me the ability to see and understand power structures, and power games, in a wholly new way.
Specifically, that so often, in the first world, power is surrendered rather than taken. I've worked with so many people who've bitched endlessly about their boss but never stood up to them, while simultaneously avoiding or denouncing me as a subversive or a 'commie' precisely because I do stand up to bullying 'superiors'.

I would love to have a level of trust that is so deep that a lady could do absolutely anything to me and I would accept it because I trust her. I have never found that level of understanding, and I have often thought it doesn't exist. People are so inhibited.

I'm currently single. Unfortunately, most of my relationships haven't lasted too long. But the main reason for most of my break-ups has been that we've both been strong-minded individuals whose lives just haven't been on the same path - we coincide for a while, and enjoy it while its there, but for a person in the first world who is strongly individualistic, it's almost impossible to fully integrate your life with someone else's, without one partner ultimately making a sacrifice that's too much to bear.
I've never been able to be the one to make that great a sacrifice for the other, I have no expectation that any woman I truly respect and love would be able to make the same sacrifice for me.

And yeah, people are sooo inhibited. I've honestly stopped looking for 'someone who'll understand me'. Because I'm twisted enough (by mainstream standards) that it's highly unlikely that a true 'opposite but equal' exists for me, and that I'm gonna meet them in favourable circumstances. So I just be myself, I don't 'look' for others, and when I do meet someone compatible, I often find that they're just as guarded and wary as I am. Not the best starting point for 'love'.

No kidding. And those power structures extend into our own private lives. Politicians and famous people can get away with the most brutal, degrading, and vile practices, yet the simple act of playing rough behind closed doors is frowned upon in our society, where sex of all kinds is virtually taboo.

It's all hypocrisy, sure. We're exhorted to adore 'stars' and simultaneously the very same industry that froths about the latest 'heartthrob' invades these peoples lives, splashes minor indiscretions on glossy front pages as scandals, while the corrupt editors of these 'journals' enjoy a rich first-world decadent lifestyle, affordable only by the very tearing-down of the 'idols' they create in the first place.

If I stumble on anyone whose outlook on life is like that, I'm latching on, and if it continues, I'm never letting go.

(I am married, but I'm not inhibited...)

I'm 34, single, never married, thoroughly uninhibited, thoroughly jaded, and sick to death of being branded 'deviant' when I have the most open and honest communications in relationships of everyone I know.

Well, you don't do a lot of submitting, of course...for those of us who do, it's a very normal thing...

Gotta try everything once, though ;)

With some people you can never be sure. And even if you check the genitals, you can still be wrong.

Are you editorialising again? Not every thread has to be about you, you know...

Was I the only one to read whipped cream and chips? I thought this was going to be another food thread.

I read it that way too.

Was I the only one to read whipped cream and chips? I thought this was going to be another food thread.

Trust me, some would incorporate food into what we discuss here...

Done. And a thanks to Smunkee for that.

I'm curious, so could you forward it to me too?

I suppose lots of you don't have signatures enabled?

I suppose lots of you don't have signatures enabled?

I just enabled them for the first time, and it's made the forum almost unreadable! Going straight back to disabled. Waaaay too much clutter.
Honestly, if there's a great quote you want as your sig, that's cool. But half a dozen, in different fonts, type sizes, and colours, plus links? It's just a goddamn eyesore.
Begone, sigs! Blight mine eyes no more!

Edit: Not your sig specifically Jello, just overall, with almost everyone having more clutter after their posts than in 'em.

I'm curious, so could you forward it to me too?

Done. See you there under probably a different name.

I suppose lots of you don't have signatures enabled?

The whole massively huge statements in signatures pretty much killed any chance that I'll ever enable them again.

Neither would I, but having read it the first time, it basically put everything into context. I hadn't really appreciated how fundamental trust (in terms of play) was until I realised that it was my responsibility to ensure the other person was as informed as I was, in order to truly gain consent.

Exactly. Intelligent, informed people are so hard to come by. People who understand what they're getting into with something are hard to come by. I'm all for curiosity, and I love experimentation, but to have the deepest level of trust...that's absolutely the best thing ever.

I agree fully.
Many times I've recognised that I've had some kind of anger or unresolved tension with a playmate, and have declined to engage in power play precisely because it would be tainted by my feelings. If I'm in a power role and I'm unclear about my feelings or motives, then there's a possibility of crossing the line. That's dangerous. So I just won't go there unless we're both in a good mood and really want to.

Any kind of sexual play can be destroyed by something unresolved, and that's both unfortunate and true. Sure, people can have a lot on their minds and just do it to please the other person, but shutting off one's mind and just going with something...almost to the point of becoming a different person...that's the highest form of enjoyment.

Again, I agree fully. Bondage has empowered me in so many ways, but foremost because it's given me the ability to see and understand power structures, and power games, in a wholly new way.
Specifically, that so often, in the first world, power is surrendered rather than taken. I've worked with so many people who've bitched endlessly about their boss but never stood up to them, while simultaneously avoiding or denouncing me as a subversive or a 'commie' precisely because I do stand up to bullying 'superiors'.

I've dealt with bullies, assholes, and such in all walks of life. It really is hard to stand up to those people; in the right situation, the best thing to do is just to get out of the situation. There's nothing subversive about that.
Granted, if you can stand up to someone and get your way in a bad situation, then you deserve a standing ovation. It's hard to do, though.

I'm currently single. Unfortunately, most of my relationships haven't lasted too long. But the main reason for most of my break-ups has been that we've both been strong-minded individuals whose lives just haven't been on the same path - we coincide for a while, and enjoy it while its there, but for a person in the first world who is strongly individualistic, it's almost impossible to fully integrate your life with someone else's, without one partner ultimately making a sacrifice that's too much to bear.
I've never been able to be the one to make that great a sacrifice for the other, I have no expectation that any woman I truly respect and love would be able to make the same sacrifice for me.

Exactly. At least on some level, people have to be on the same page with many things. Some people would be absolutely thrilled to have someone who would go to the ends of the Earth for them, wait on them hand and foot, and worship the ground they walk on. Most people are not willing to do such a thing, and some are not willing to accept it.
Giving myself completely to another person would not be a sacrifice for me, but it would have to be the right person, and not just in body type and sexual personality.

And yeah, people are sooo inhibited. I've honestly stopped looking for 'someone who'll understand me'. Because I'm twisted enough (by mainstream standards) that it's highly unlikely that a true 'opposite but equal' exists for me, and that I'm gonna meet them in favourable circumstances. So I just be myself, I don't 'look' for others, and when I do meet someone compatible, I often find that they're just as guarded and wary as I am. Not the best starting point for 'love'.

People are definitely shy about what they really want when it's not normal. In anonymity, people will share exactly what they want, and I know there are plenty of people like me out there, but to get what one wants in a real situation when real people are involved is far more difficult.

It's all hypocrisy, sure. We're exhorted to adore 'stars' and simultaneously the very same industry that froths about the latest 'heartthrob' invades these peoples lives, splashes minor indiscretions on glossy front pages as scandals, while the corrupt editors of these 'journals' enjoy a rich first-world decadent lifestyle, affordable only by the very tearing-down of the 'idols' they create in the first place.

I never really thought about iot that way, but it makes perfect sense...of course, the rest of us are fed this sort of garbage as entertainment, and as a result, we spend our lives paying for this junk.

I'm 34, single, never married, thoroughly uninhibited, thoroughly jaded, and sick to death of being branded 'deviant' when I have the most open and honest communications in relationships of everyone I know.

I completely understand. But I guess knowing exactly what you want and being honest about it is considered 'deviant.'

Gotta try everything once, though ;)

I assume you've done exactly that...I can't say I've tried it all, but I know exactly what I do want.

I just enabled them for the first time, and it's made the forum almost unreadable! Going straight back to disabled. Waaaay too much clutter.
Honestly, if there's a great quote you want as your sig, that's cool. But half a dozen, in different fonts, type sizes, and colours, plus links? It's just a goddamn eyesore.
Begone, sigs! Blight mine eyes no more!

Edit: Not your sig specifically Jello, just overall, with almost everyone having more clutter after their posts than in 'em.Meh. They give me 8 lines, I'm gonna use 'em. :)

Meh. They give me 8 lines, I'm gonna use 'em. :)

That's a positively siggable quote. Of course, I need a better signature than what I have now...

;) It's kind of hard to type in handcuffs and a blindfold and with a pair of XXXL panties in your mouth. :)

Maybe i need that book that Yaltabaoth talks about...

Set a time limit for the first 'session'. Give a friend the address you'll be at, and arrange to call them by a certain time. If you don't call by the agreed time, the friend sends the cops to said address.
This may sound reasonable at first, but what exactly are you going to tell the cops? No crime has been committed, nothing illegal done, all that has happened is your friend didnt call you. Not to mention there are a multitude of very legitimate reasons why you wouldnt get a call on time.

Making sure people know where you will be and who you will be with, and letting your partner know other people know, is not so cops can come busting in - it is so if you disappear they know who to question.

As extra security, arrange a code word. So if you call on time but don't mention the code word, they call the police. This allows for the 'psycho holding a knife to your throat while you make the 'all-clear' phone call' scenario.
Ultra-paranoid reaction and inappropriate. Some prearranged word or phrase meaning 'please come pick me up' is very encouraged, but it is far too easy (especially after really fun or deep play) to forget to say some word afterwards. Having the cops told there is someone keeping you prisoner with a knife to your throat just because you had a wild time and forgot to say 'saxophone' to your paranoid friend is not a good situation.

But most important, tell the person you're meeting, beforehand, that you've put this safety precaution in place, and encourage them to do the same. If they're hostile to the idea, DO NOT GO THERE!
Prevention is always better than cure.
Honestly, if someone told me that, I wouldn't play with them. Someone that paranoid and already freaked out is dangerous no matter what you are doing.

If you are new to the scene (as anyone reading this will be) you can just say something along the lines of you having been chatting with your friend about this and exploring new things and whatnot. Just a subtle reminder that people know where you are and who you're with.

If you are really that uncomfortable or paranoid - DO NOT DO IT!
I mean seriously. There have been times when I have been feeling really horny, but if you dont already have some level of trust with the person you are going to play with, dont play with them.

This may sound reasonable at first, but what exactly are you going to tell the cops? No crime has been committed, nothing illegal done, all that has happened is your friend didnt call you. Not to mention there are a multitude of very legitimate reasons why you wouldnt get a call on time.

Making sure people know where you will be and who you will be with, and letting your partner know other people know, is not so cops can come busting in - it is so if you disappear they know who to question.


Ultra-paranoid reaction and inappropriate. Some prearranged word or phrase meaning 'please come pick me up' is very encouraged, but it is far too easy (especially after really fun or deep play) to forget to say some word afterwards. Having the cops told there is someone keeping you prisoner with a knife to your throat just because you had a wild time and forgot to say 'saxophone' to your paranoid friend is not a good situation.


Honestly, if someone told me that, I wouldn't play with them. Someone that paranoid and already freaked out is dangerous no matter what you are doing.

If you are new to the scene (as anyone reading this will be) you can just say something along the lines of you having been chatting with your friend about this and exploring new things and whatnot. Just a subtle reminder that people know where you are and who you're with.

If you are really that uncomfortable or paranoid - DO NOT DO IT!
I mean seriously. There have been times when I have been feeling really horny, but if you dont already have some level of trust with the person you are going to play with, dont play with them.

Really, the best thing to do is to make sure that you trust the person before engaging in any sort of rough or restraining play with them. No, it's not the most fun thing to do...

:D ...and no matter what I say in this thread, I do fantasize about being tied to a chair and held prisoner by an extra-large, extra-demanding lady... :cool:

...but it's the most responsible. Kind of like how it's not the most fun thing to do to make sure you use a condom and your partner doesn't have any horrible diseases. But you gotta do what you gotta do.