NationStates Jolt Archive

Walrus penis sells for $8,000 at Beverly Hills action(08-26) 15:49 PDT Beverly Hills, Calif. (AP) --

A 4 1/2-foot-long, fossilized penis bone from an extinct walrus sold for $8,000 Sunday at an auction here.

The item was sold to the company that runs the Ripley's Believe It or Not museums. The price will run $9,600 when auction fees are included.

"Their corporate office bought it and they'll probably display it around the country," said Josh Chait, director of operations for the I.M. Chait Gallery, his family's auction house.

There were only three bidders and the contest lasted only a couple of minutes, Chait said.

The final price was well below the $12,000 to $16,000 the item had been expected to bring.

"I thought it was a bargain," Chait said.

Discovered in Siberia, the fossilized baculum, or penis bone, is from a species of walrus that went extinct 12,000 years ago. The piece curves to a point and is covered with weathered skin and dry muscle tissue.

The auction house said it was believed to be the largest known mammal penis fossil.

"I'm glad it's going to a museum and not a private collection" so it can on public display, Chait said. "It's definitely something everyone should see once in their life."

While unusual fossils are prized by collectors, a fossilized baculum might have been a little too special to attract many bidders.

"Only a limited number of people really want it," Chait acknowledged.

He admits he isn't one of them.

"I appreciate its ... historical significance," he said. "But I wouldn't have it over my mantel."


Well we have a walrus penis, so I wonder if we can find the damn walrus' bucket too?:p

I'm just glad Richard Simmons or Elton John didn't buy it.

*hears groan*

What?

Or Michael Jackson, if it was a young male walrus. :D

I'm just glad Richard Simmons or Elton John didn't buy it.

*hears groan*

What?

I'm just glad Richard Simmons or Elton John didn't buy it.

*hears groan*

What?

They were in line.

I wonder if I could make money selling John Holmes' DNA...not that I have any on hand, that is.

They were in line.

Michael Jackson was in line for the pre-historic boy's penis. :D

I'll stop now.....

I wonder if I could make money selling John Holmes' DNA...not that I have any on hand, that is.

I certainly hope you don't have any of John Holmes' DNA on you hand!

Michael Jackson was in line for the pre-historic boy's penis. :D

I'll stop now.....


You better stop, because I already made a Michael Jackson joke in this thread, and you know the rule; one MJ joke per thread, or he gets to come spend the night with you. :eek:

You better stop, because I already made a Michael Jackson joke in this thread, and you know the rule; one MJ joke per thread, or he gets to come spend the night with you. :eek:

But I'm not a pre-pubescent boy who likes to drink Jesus Juice.

But I'm not a pre-pubescent boy who likes to drink Jesus Juice.

Hmm. Good point. It'll be dark in the room, he'll never be able to tell the difference.

I certainly hope you don't have any of John Holmes' DNA on you hand!

Well, of all the places to have it (especially these days) .... :p

But I'm not a pre-pubescent boy who likes to drink Jesus Juice.

http://www.bay-of-fundie.com/img/2006/bush-kool-aid-bof.jpg
What about that? :p

I certainly hope you don't have any of John Holmes' DNA on you hand!

The thought of that godrod in my hand is terrifying...

The thought of that godrod in my hand is terrifying...

.... the terrifying tantalization of power?
Sceptre of Might +11 .. or +14, depending on whom you ask.

"It's definitely something everyone should see once in their life."
Yes, truely it is as one of the Great Wonders of the World. The Pyramids of Gaza, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus and a 4-and-a-half foot long, fossilized walrus boner.

Yes, truely it is as one of the Great Wonders of the World. The Pyramids of Gaza, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus and a 4-and-a-half foot long, fossilized walrus boner.

Oh my lawd. That made me laugh out loud.

I foresee an embarrassing trip to the emergency room in this guy's future. :eek:

I foresee an embarrassing trip to the emergency room in this guy's future. :eek:

Guy:"Well I misplaced my fossil walrus penis. So I went to go sit on the couch, and lo and behold, I found it"
Doctor: Well, where did you find it at?
Guy: Do you even need to ask?

I certainly hope you don't have any of John Holmes' DNA on you hand!better on hand then from some where else...

.... the terrifying tantalization of power?
Sceptre of Might +11 .. or +14, depending on whom you ask.... how cold it is, how tightly it's held, how it's used...

better on hand then from some where else...

... how cold it is, how tightly it's held, how it's used...

Since i'm what you might call a "method poster", i looked up online to see how the guy did, and he's got somewhat of a sordid history, pretty well centered on the whole porn thing.

Not even fully erect for most of his "loops"?

I think I'd like one, to be placed on my desk at work.

If someone can't tell me what they need due to being distracted by a 4 and a half foot walrus penis then it probably wasn't that important anyway.

I think it would make a statement.

If someone was persistent I think I'd pick it up and wave it around vaguely, perhaps jab it in the air to stab home a particular point.

I wonder what a good quote for the plaque would be?

I think I'd like one, to be placed on my desk at work.

If someone can't tell me what they need due to being distracted by a 4 and a half foot walrus penis then it probably wasn't that important anyway.

I think it would make a statement.

If someone was persistent I think I'd pick it up and wave it around vaguely, perhaps jab it in the air to stab home a particular point.

I wonder what a good quote for the plaque would be?

I'm thinking something along the line of:

Fossilized Walrus Penis- Like a rock.


:headbang:

I think I'd like one, to be placed on my desk at work.

If someone can't tell me what they need due to being distracted by a 4 and a half foot walrus penis then it probably wasn't that important anyway.

I think it would make a statement.

If someone was persistent I think I'd pick it up and wave it around vaguely, perhaps jab it in the air to stab home a particular point.

I wonder what a good quote for the plaque would be?

"Mine's bigger."

or...

"Quit staring."

Not something to leave the pocket at all :p

If someone was persistent I think I'd pick it up and wave it around vaguely, perhaps jab it in the air to stab home a particular point.


Reminds me of The Naked Gun and the queen of England.
:)

I wonder what a good quote for the plaque would be?
"I HAVE THE POWEEERRRRR!"

"Hypnotic... isn't it..."

"[your name] Circumcised [date]"

"My wife said she'ld have it stuffed and mounted the next time I come home drunk... well I thought she was kidding..."

Reminds me of The Naked Gun and the queen of England.
:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbiiajZRM1c

:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbiiajZRM1c

:)

Damn!!

I was learning how much success i could glean by typing the word "dildo" in on YouTube. Ya beat me to it! :D

I'd like it to be business related I think, otherwise why would I have it in the office?

Something like: The buck stops here!

I think it has the power to lend substance to that statement.

You've got a few good ones tonight :D

I'd like it to be business related I think, otherwise why would I have it in the office?

Something like: The buck stops here!

I think it has the power to lend substance to that statement.

I'd like it to be business related I think, otherwise why would I have it in the office?

Something like: The buck stops here!

I think it has the power to lend substance to that statement.

no wait...

"The Buck stopped here... if you don't want to meet the same fate, go to the next cubical."

I'd like it to be business related I think, otherwise why would I have it in the office?

Something like: The buck stops here!

I think it has the power to lend substance to that statement.

"We specialize in customer service." :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbiiajZRM1c

:)

Seriously, Leslie Nielsen is a god.

I have true faith in that man.

Lt. Frank Drebin: I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say...”Hey! Look at these!" She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.
Ed Hocken: Frank, snap out of it! You're looking at her like she was your mother for Christ's sake!

Seriously, Leslie Nielsen is a god.

I have true faith in that man.

That movie is the Ultimate. If for no reason than for torturing OJ Simpson before he even killed anyone(that we know of).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JSF54URxkA :)

"We specialize in customer service." :)
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/Thread.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbiiajZRM1c

:)

Edwardo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5Q3F4grmLE)
:)

no wait...

"The Buck stopped here... if you don't want to meet the same fate, go to the next cubical."

Haha, being English, or possibly not, I associate 'cubicle' with public bathrooms so I just had this image of someone - the most famous man that could take anything up the ass - being finally defeated by my 4 and a half foot walrus penis.

His name was Buck.

Haha, being English, or possibly not, I associate 'cubicle' with public bathrooms so I just had this image of someone - the most famous man that could take anything up the ass - being finally defeated by my 4 and a half foot walrus penis.

His name was Buck.

Buck Goatse?

Buck Goatse?

Great porn name.

Alright, this is going a little off-topic and a little sick considering we were discussing a 4 and a half foot long walrus penis, which is serious business.

What else could it be used for other than a desk ornament?

It would be quite nice to turn up at a pool hall and start playing, with an entirely serious face, great for those tricky angle shots.

You gentleman never cease to amaze me.

Great porn name.
It all works out in the end. :p

Alright, this is going a little off-topic and a little sick considering we were discussing a 4 and a half foot long walrus penis, which is serious business.http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/1168382483-1168292855537456.jpg


What else could it be used for other than a desk ornament?ANOTHER great thread in the making.


It would be quite nice to turn up at a pool hall and start playing, with an entirely serious face, great for those tricky angle shots.I'm sure people would appreciate your ability to handle it like a professional. :p

Edwardo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5Q3F4grmLE)
:)

Yay! :)