NationStates Jolt Archive

than to not have loved at all? In my life, I know a big reason for me distancing myself from people is because I am afraid of losing those that I get close too. I'd almost rather not get close to them, than to lose them and only have memories. Is it the same for anyone else? Or is the saying really true?

of course its true. without love what are you, a fucking robot?

you cant avoid pain in this life. you cant avoid loss. so you make the best of it by loving and living as fully as you can.

I think the saying is true in the sense that, if you keep pushing people away, you never experience any true, genuine affection, leaving you isolated and in a state of constant loneliness.

"Late at night I close my eyes
And think how things coulda been
And when I look back
I remember some words you had said to me
It's better to have lost at love
Then never to have loved at all

*I won't forget you baby,
Even though I could
I won't forget you baby,
Even though I should"


"Hear the DJ say love's a game of
Easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this"

Heartbreak makes you value the happiness love can bring.


(Bleugh. Sounds like a bad Hallmark card.)

my greatest fear is to lose my best friends, greater even than my fear of spiders. even my bestest friends i refrain from allowing too close. i don't know if they notice it or if they assume they just aren't that good friends with me. having said that most of my friends seem to be closer to me than i am to them so i'm probably doing something wrong. i know my friends love me and i love them but i see them love each other on a much deeper level and i know i'm missing out. i also know that it's me that's got the missing link. maybe you're the same.

Zilam,

Didn't you already do a thread like this? I thought I remembered giving advice about this not to long ago.

of course its true. without love what are you, a fucking robot?

you cant avoid pain in this life. you cant avoid loss. so you make the best of it by loving and living as fully as you can.

QFT, you never know when you are leaving this place so make the best of it. I don't mean NSG either. ;)

Absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, and it really is better to have felt SOMETHING, however fleeting, than to have never felt at all.

my greatest fear is to lose my best friends, greater even than my fear of spiders. even my bestest friends i refrain from allowing too close. i don't know if they notice it or if they assume they just aren't that good friends with me. having said that most of my friends seem to be closer to me than i am to them so i'm probably doing something wrong. i know my friends love me and i love them but i see them love each other on a much deeper level and i know i'm missing out. i also know that it's me that's got the missing link. maybe you're the same.

the thing is

that if you should (god forbid) lose one of your friends

you will regret not that you loved them but that you didnt love them better.

I can't feel romantic love, so I can't answer that part, but I know that family love and friend love are very important to me, or even the kind of friendship I've formed with certain people here without even realizing that I had until they've been there for me when I needed help and was all panicky, as tends to happen with me sometimes. So I wouldn't want to push any of my friends away. But I'm not sure if you're talking about platonic love or romantic love...

Yes. Emotional warmth is amongst the strongest feelings I have ever experianced, and, as PM said, heartbreak makes you appreciate love all the more.

If I were to be pretentious, and, I probably will be, I'd also refer to Keats' "Ode on Melancholy"; "Aye in the very temple of delight melancholy has her sovreign shrine". To have loved and lost allows for access to emotions that are exhilerating as much as they are depressing, and also allows for a fuller appreciation of joy.

the thing is

that if you should (god forbid) lose one of your friends

you will regret not that you loved them but that you didnt love them better.

yeh, i only wish i knew what impediment was holding me back.

yeh, i only wish i knew what impediment was holding me back.

Lack of alcohol?:D

Lack of alcohol?:D

now that is certainly not something i've ever suffered from.

now that is certainly not something i've ever suffered from.

Glad to hear it.

I've just bought 24 Carling, 24 Strongbow, 10 Desperados and blackcurrent for Reading! T'will be a ball.:)

Glad to hear it.

I've just bought 24 Carling, 24 Strongbow, 10 Desperados and blackcurrent for Reading! T'will be a ball.:)

all for you? i drank half a litre of gin so far tonight out of the bottle cuz the glasses are too far away. i'm a little sleepy now.

than to not have loved at all? In my life, I know a big reason for me distancing myself from people is because I am afraid of losing those that I get close too. I'd almost rather not get close to them, than to lose them and only have memories. Is it the same for anyone else? Or is the saying really true?

Cry more plz!!

Cry more plz!!

:(


:p

Well, I don't know. Before I had any love, I was miserable. When I lost my love, I was miserable. It's kind of hard to judge how much more miserable I was in one instance than the other.

I guess in this case, it's generally better to have not loved at all because then you won't have so much baggage when you DO find love. (Unless you weren't loved by your parents, then you will have an unbelievable amount of baggage.)

So actually I change my answer: it is better to have loved and lost, when considering the first and most important relationship, which is with your parents.

Better to have not loved at all, really. Then again, considering that any sort of disappointment is utterly trivial anyway because that ends up going away...

Eh. Its better to not hold any preconceived notions, from the way I see it. Sure, you would have experience... but also the heartbreak, the gut-wrenching guilt, and the fear of loss. The cons outweigh the pros.

This is such a commonly asked question and there are so many answers. But I guess it all depends on the individual. In my case I do believe that is better to have loved and lost then to never love at all. Loving is a risk, there is no doubt about it. But not loving is an even greater risk. I will admit that I have had my heart broken a few times and it does hurt. But the feelings before that and the memories after, I wouldnt trade them for the world lol. I'd rather die with the memories of love then die never knowing what it felt like.

This is such a commonly asked question and there are so many answers. But I guess it all depends on the individual. In my case I do believe that is better to have loved and lost then to never love at all. Loving is a risk, there is no doubt about it. But not loving is an even greater risk. I will admit that I have had my heart broken a few times and it does hurt. But the feelings before that and the memories after, I wouldnt trade them for the world lol. I'd rather die with the memories of love then die never knowing what it felt like.

I agree with the above.

Sure it hurts for a while when it's over, but a few years later all you remember are the good times. It is far better to fill your memory with good times that with nothing. You only have so many years to fill and they will be gone whether you fill them or not.

I really don't understand those that have bad breakups. I've been married for 25 years and only remember the good times. I dated several before marriage and haven't seen them for 25-30 years, but if we ever run into each other we will greet each other as long lost friends. And we won't talk of the breakup we'll talk of the good times.

Friendships are the same way. I have lots of "lost" friends. If we ever meet again we will meet as long lost friends and talk of the good times. A couple years ago I went to my 35th HS reunion. All of the "kids" that I graduated with were still friends (even though I hadn't seen some of them since graduation day) and we didn't talk of the conflicts, we talked of the fun times.

you cant avoid pain in this life. you cant avoid loss. so you make the best of it by loving and living as fully as you can.
Right on. *bows*

"Hear the DJ say love's a game of
Easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this"
When i see these guys, i naturally think these pearls of wisdom.
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