NationStates Jolt Archive

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

I'm lonely too.

...

You don't happen to be attracted to men, do you?

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

depends on what the belief is, and what you are doing about it.

Burning that flag made me like you a lot. :)

Burning that flag made me like you a lot. :)

Yay! :D

Yay! :D

Anything that is worth having, doesn't come easy. *nods* Opposition is a part of life, and you will always encounter it, so man up.

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

Shoot someone.

You will have company for the next 20 years, easy.

So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away?

Usually I would advise to let those people fuck off, but knowing your beliefs it's hard not to see things from their perspective.

I really don't want to be alone :(

I guess Jesus isn't all he's cracked up to be in the "someone to hold in the middle of the night" department.

ure probably not alone. there are probably others out there who have the same opinion as you. tell them its your own opinion and to mind thier own business.
if not then :sniper:

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

Do what I do: Hand out tacos. :)

In all seriousness, differences of opinions make for discussions that lead to progress of the human race. Consensus tends to mean that everyone is wrong. :p

One of the difficulties that some people both here on NSG and in the real world have is understanding that differences of opinions is not always a problem to be corrected. Sometimes you can actually disagree, smile and share some tacos. :)

Okay, that wasn't in all seriousness. But I think I made my point. *nod*

So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away?
Seems to me you have two options.

1) Spin. Learn how to promote what you believe. Spend some time thinking about how to explain your beliefs in ways that those around you can understand and be in a suitable position to engage in.

2) Humility. Acknowledge that your own views and beliefs are merely the best attempt you've got at explaining that which is important to you. Your ideas are only pointers to other constructs that you have over time chosen as convenient, and as such can be malleable as long as it is acknowledged that the source behind them remains unchanged.

I chose a combination of the two, as indeed most of us do.

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(One sucks it up and realizes that if one is entirely alone in one's beliefs, one is probably wrong.

One sucks it up and changes.

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

Can you backup your beliefs with reasoning or explanations ?
Are you willing to challenge your own beliefs ?
Yes ?
And do they survive the challenge ?
Then simply be proud of yourself.

To clarify the harshness of my earlier post....

Ideals aren't worth it if they can't be ideals in the context of living human society.

There may be individual beliefs that are worth holding onto despite incredible resistance and criticism from other people

But when the entire set of your beliefs is such that you alienate yourself from others, it is worthwhile to temper your beliefs, assume that from time to time other people have a point... and ultimately, probably make a better shot at convincing them to give you the same respect.

i got to say i don't have a single friend who shares my beliefs entirely. i've a few who i can find common ground with in a debate but without some fundamental disagreements there is no debate, and without that i might not be friends with them. at least not as much anyway. i tend not to get on with people who share my beliefs entirely, mainly cuz they're all far more zealous than me and frankly i'm not all that committed to my beliefs. it's so much more convenient at the moment not to live by them.

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

man, everybody gets that because there are always people who disagree with you. the stronger your beliefs/ideals, the more vehemently people will disagree/look down on you.

the easiest thing to do is to just not have any beliefs, ideals or thoughts of your own and just go with what everybody else says.

man, everybody gets that because there are always people who disagree with you. the stronger your beliefs/ideals, the more vehemently people will disagree/look down on you.

the easiest thing to do is to just not have any beliefs, ideals or thoughts of your own and just go with what everybody else says.

Yeah, I agree.

(Not really).

Yeah, I agree.

(Not really).

well i wasn't saying that suggestion was really a good thing...

don't share most or all of your beliefs with people. At least the ones which drive people from you. If it's related to your faith, try not to push your faith on people as much.

Shoot someone.

You will have company for the next 20 years, easy.

Nah, you might get solitary, with his luck.

oh, everyone hates me Zil. it's something you get used to.

I cope by dressing up and scaring the crap out of children...and then making up for it by giving them latex poodles.

oh, everyone hates me Zil. it's something you get used to.

I cope by dressing up and scaring the crap out of children...and then making up for it by giving them latex poodles.

YAY! :D

As others have noted... this happens to a lot of us.

You just need to be humble, don't expect others to share your beliefs, accept that others have their beliefs and are not likely going to be convinced to change them by you.

I honestly feel like I am not human, or from a completely different time period a lot of the time because I can't understand most people. Seriously. Despite my best efforts I can't make a connection with the majority of humans because they are on a totally different plane than I am.

Anyway, I never had a problem with you Zilam. I don't follow your belief system but I don't look down on you for having it.

YAY! :D

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q276/Nodigio/MVC-027S.jpg

Bunnies by Smunkee for LG to *pop*

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q276/Nodigio/MVC-027S.jpg

Bunnies by Smunkee for LG to *pop*

What the hell is that tree doing to those poor, blood soaked bunnies?!

What the hell is that tree doing to those poor, blood soaked bunnies?!

they are plot bunnies. It's a long story.

Never change your views just to make other people happy.

man, everybody gets that because there are always people who disagree with you. the stronger your beliefs/ideals, the more vehemently people will disagree/look down on you.

the easiest thing to do is to just not have any beliefs, ideals or thoughts of your own and just go with what everybody else says.

Baaaaaaaaaaah.
;)

The cure for bunnies

http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/423466/646697

What beliefs are you talking about that alienate people the most? Now I'm curious.

I'd just hide them. In short, lie. Guage what people want to hear, and tell them as much; works for me.:)

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

Do what I do: tell the fools to fuck off. Of course I never really had any problem with being alone, so this may not work for you.

Baaaaaaaaaaah.
;)

Baaaaaahhh indeed.

What beliefs are you talking about that alienate people the most? Now I'm curious.

Both political and religious views. My political views are too far left for anyone around here, and my theological/religious views are seen as heretical, at best. I don't even have support from my own fellow christians. :(

I'd just hide them. In short, lie. Guage what people want to hear, and tell them as much; works for me.:)

Yeah, but that's lying to one's self, right? I mean, does it make you happy to lie to yourself and others?

Both political and religious views. My political views are too far left for anyone around here, and my theological/religious views are seen as heretical, at best. I don't even have support from my own fellow christians. :(

Move away to a more liberal state.

Violently disagree with everyone in as friendly a way as possible.
That way you can both keep your own beliefs and hopefully not alienate everyone around you.

Yeah, but that's lying to one's self, right? I mean, does it make you happy to lie to yourself and others?

Erm, its just lying to others, and if it makes them happy, and you happy if you no longer feel lonely, surely it's worthwhile?


In short, though, I don't know. I can only make suggestions from 18 years experiance, in which "long term" relationships are not particularly high on one's list of priorities.

Or, you could hang out with dumb friends and since you're a smart NSer, mold their minds* until they agree with your ideas.

It's sorta the parasitic angle to the problem.

*Read: Brainwash

Learn to avoid certain topics of conversation. It isn't that hard to try and steer around the trickier topics, and if someone tries to be tricky by asking a direct question respond by taking the piss.
I mean figuratively, of course, literally obtaining a sample of someone's urine, while an effective way to abruptly end a line of questioning, is also just as likely to alienate people as admitting to being a Holocaust-denier in a synagogue.

Usually I would advise to let those people fuck off, but knowing your beliefs it's hard not to see things from their perspective.



I guess Jesus isn't all he's cracked up to be in the "someone to hold in the middle of the night" department.

He lives in the Southern US. Somehow I doubt it's his religion that's driving people away.

Also Zilam, I'd just like to say that what you've shown of yourself on this forum, I respect. Don't pretend to be somebody else for other people's sake. Eventually, you will find people who cherish who and what you are, and the love and respect of those people will make you very glad that you are who you are.

"You Have To Be Yourself You Can't Be No One Else"

Thats my motto and a song lyric. Being true to myself is and always will be more important to me than being popular.

Ahh, music.
Here's a good song for accepting who you are:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBT2wzpPI2k

Do what I do: Hand out tacos. :)

In all seriousness, differences of opinions make for discussions that lead to progress of the human race. Consensus tends to mean that everyone is wrong. :p

One of the difficulties that some people both here on NSG and in the real world have is understanding that differences of opinions is not always a problem to be corrected. Sometimes you can actually disagree, smile and share some tacos. :)

Okay, that wasn't in all seriousness. But I think I made my point. *nod*

Yep. Most of my closer friends don't happen to have the same political views as me. In fact, my best friend refused to buy a hybrid on my advice because he didn't want to be confused with a "liberal pussy."

There are other things to discuss besides politics, religion, etc... I like the topic of vaginas, for example. I think they're strange and wonderful places. You'll find most guys agree. You can also eat tacos as LG says, or even hair tacos if you get the opportunity - though you may find it hard to eat many hair tacos if you begin every discussion you have with the owner of said hair taco with some stance on a political issue. Try puppies or cars. Chicks dig that.

When you are discussing more heady topics don't be condescending. It solves nothing and you're probably not going to change anyone's mind - especially in one discussion. Even if you do you haven't saved the world and if you don't the world's no worse off than it was before you began the discussion.

If you find that you need to have these kinds of discussions and you don't have a lot of friends that you can debate with do what I do - come here or to other message boards and call people idiots that disagree with you and it's no sweat off anyone's back.

Also Zilam, I'd just like to say that what you've shown of yourself on this forum, I respect. Don't pretend to be somebody else for other people's sake. Eventually, you will find people who cherish who and what you are, and the love and respect of those people will make you very glad that you are who you are.

I happen to respect him too.
Well said, Neo Undelia. *bows*

you could always pick up drinking. that solves everything.

you could always pick up drinking. that solves everything.

Or *dis*solves :p

Thanks everyone. I am feeling better now. I was thinking to myself today, in a way that has meaning to me, about how Jesus was also ridiculed and had no friends because of what he said to people. And while I cannot compare to Christ in any sense, I see how he handled it, and i look to follow his example.

Thanks everyone. I am feeling better now. I was thinking to myself today, in a way that has meaning to me, about how Jesus was also ridiculed and had no friends because of what he said to people. And while I cannot compare to Christ in any sense, I see how he handled it, and i look to follow his example.

He was a pretty good guy. Pity His fan club has so many assholes in it. :p

He was a pretty good guy. Pity His fan club has so many assholes in it. :p

Well, you know how those people in Hollywood can be so fake..

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

I dunno, you've always seemed pretty reasonable to me. Or have I not been paying enough attention? lol.

I have a slight problem. You see, it would seem that most of my views on almost anything, tends to make people look down upon me, or distance themselves from me. I don't want to change my beliefs, but I cannot seem to find anyone that is like me. So what does one do, when their views, ideas, and deeply held beliefs drive people away? I really don't want to be alone :(

*shrug* We humans are social creatures meant to tribalise with like minds, so find like minds or get used to the idea of being on your own.

Why not just not talk or voice your opinions actively. It's very easy to change the subject to most people. Besides, you can always like, and don't give me that bull shit about standing for your beliefs if it isn't going to help/harm you or the other person.

Why not just not talk or voice your opinions actively. It's very easy to change the subject to most people. Besides, you can always like, and don't give me that bull shit about standing for your beliefs if it isn't going to help/harm you or the other person.

Also I know Zilam said that he? does not ant to change his belifes, however the hnest persona will find that belifes will and do change over time.