NationStates Jolt Archive

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

Uh... T.M.I., seriously. How the heck would I know? I am 16!

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

Is this based on any recent events? ;)

Never happened to me. The only way I deal with rejection is to vilify whoever rejected me. None of this 'Stay friends' crap.

Is this based on any recent events? ;)
Not my recent events, no.

Never happened to me. The only way I deal with rejection is to vilify whoever rejected me. None of this 'Stay friends' crap.
I like staying friends with my exes... rarely that friendly though.

Unfortunately, no. :(

Thing is, every single relationship I've ever been in has been terminated by the other side. I've never broken up with anyone, which surely has to be some sort of record. Either that or I'm just too desperate for my own good.

Never in the sense of, meeting them for a second time long afterwards and then one-thing-leads-to-another. More like, we break up and stop "officially" being "boyfriend and girlfriend," but we hang out anyway and I work my mojo and bling blang bang boom. :)

Never in the sense of, meeting them for a second time long afterwards and then one-thing-leads-to-another. More like, we break up and stop "officially" being "boyfriend and girlfriend," but we hang out anyway and I work my mojo and bling blang bang boom. :)
Haha. I suppose that's also one way to do it.

Sex with an ex, Has this ever happened to you? Yes.. I got royally screwed. :sniper::sniper:

Yes.. I got royally screwed.
Isn't that usually a good thing? ;)

Yeah a few times. Was what it was. We were adults and it was I guess the last hurrah. :fluffle:


No lingering problems either ex.

Haha. I suppose that's also one way to do it.

Yeah. It was fun cuz this one chick, she was some other dude's girlfriend, so I was like the back door man. But at some point, for some strange reason, I stopped being the back door man and became her "main" boyfriend, and *he* became the back door man... I don't know how it happened, but once I realized that we were an actual "couple" and that I had to worry about this other guy, it was over!

I mean, at least, until we stopped having sex.

thank lordi no

Bad instance once, former girlfriend that decided she was no longer my ex due to this type of incident. Suddenly, my voice-mail started filling up again. And to top it all, I had to deal with another tearful break-up. Damn head cases, they keep coming back to haunt you.

Uh... T.M.I., seriously. How the heck would I know? I am 16!

Uhh, cuz, you're 16, duh.

Isn't that usually a good thing? ;)The sex was.. glorious.. Volcanic :D












the Problem is that.. she told it -rite away- to my new Girlfriend .. and my parents. (and she made it sound like I seduced her)
She was like "be cool.. just our secret" before.. and "You are fucked" rite after.

Ah it's not so bad ... but it's not so great either. Better to move on to new experiences.

i ended up in bed with an axe once. but that has nothing to do with this topic.

i ended up in bed with an axe once. but that has nothing to do with this topic.well.. dangerous sex is exiting.

:D

Bad instance once, former girlfriend that decided she was no longer my ex due to this type of incident. Suddenly, my voice-mail started filling up again. And to top it all, I had to deal with another tearful break-up. Damn head cases, they keep coming back to haunt you.

Yup - this sort of thing can be quite common, the brain likes to strip memory of the bad times - the best way I can demonstrate this is to close your eyes and picture people you know and have known - you will generally find you picture them smiling.

So when we meet an ex, it's likely you will remember the good times and, even if you do remember some bad times, you'll laugh over the experience.

...and this can lead to bed, especially where drink is involved because familiarity lowers inhibitions, which is compounded by alcohol.

The problem comes after because there's the unanswered question of where does this go? If you can quickly deal with that and remain friendly then it's a great thing, if you can't then expect some trouble.

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

Booty call? Yes.

With feellings? No.

Yes it has happened twice.

Ex Sex is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

There's nothing wrong with having sex with an ex-con..

What's the point when your current one is already horny? I don't need to look far, just in my bed at the snoring beast that occupies the other side. :)

yes, twice. Once while I was seeing the woman who had replaced said ex and 2nd time that woman herself after we'd split.
Coincidently both were by the time of the ex-sex engaged to be married to another.

possibly could count a 3rd, but that was with the flatmate's ex while he was passed out drunk in the lounge. Does that count?

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

Yes, actually. A couple of times. Not bad, I must say, you even start wondering why you broke up in the first place, then you remember.

Yup - this sort of thing can be quite common, the brain likes to strip memory of the bad times - the best way I can demonstrate this is to close your eyes and picture people you know and have known - you will generally find you picture them smiling.

So when we meet an ex, it's likely you will remember the good times and, even if you do remember some bad times, you'll laugh over the experience.


are you sure about this because i thought people normally tended to remember bad experiences more than good experiences so that they won't make the same mistakes etc, some kind of tool for survival.
and tbh I think I've thought more about the things that went bad than the things that went good with my last relation (possibly because there were more bad/mediocre things than good things or because I'm a pessimist or possibly because it was one of my first relationships and because I haven't got enough other experiences to compare with)

I've had cybersex with an ex, if that counts.

I've had cybersex with an ex, if that counts.

Did you use protection?

Did you use protection?

I didn't need to, it was just oral.

Yes, more than once, it's quite fun.

Particularly when it's putting cuckold's horns on the head of her current beau... :D

I didn't need to, it was just oral.

Still, there are a lot of viruses out there. You should be more careful if it happens again.

Personally, I quite like AVG. It's easy to use and doesn't interfere with the experience.

Only with one ex, six years after the relationship ended.

The rest... well, I'm more than glad to not see them anymore, let alone do anything with them - and be it only drink and talk.

I've slept with most of my ex-gfs, but then again... I've also gotten back together with at least half of them later on.

A couple of times I have even gotten into friends with benefits situations with exes - which is fantastic. It is like having the best bits of the relationship without the drama. You do have to wait at least 6 months to a year after you have broken up, or you just get sucked back into the emotional pit.

Sex with an ex is great - you already know how to please each other in bed, youve already been there so you can be more open and relaxed about it, and generally speaking you dont have to worry about any drama coming from it because thats already behind you. It is just worry free enjoyment - unless the ex is just using sex to try to get back together with you.

If you two are both open and honest about your expectations (no relationship, restarting the relationship, just a case of two people being horny and nothing more, whatever) it can be fantastic.

the Problem is that.. she told it -rite away- to my new Girlfriend .. and my parents. (and she made it sound like I seduced her)
She was like "be cool.. just our secret" before.. and "You are fucked" rite after.
Well, that's your problem for fucking an ex when you had a girlfriend really...

Don't fuck the ex. It's just a bad idea.

Well, that's your problem for fucking an ex when you had a girlfriend really...shit happens :D

I just not able to say "No" to sex.. I am weak that way.

shit happens :D

I just not able to say "No" to sex.. I am weak that way.

Bend over...

shit happens :D

I just not able to say "No" to sex.. I am weak that way.

Then do not have monogamous relationships.

more than once, actually

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

Yes, a couple of times. It was nice, and it was something both of us wanted. Neither wanted to get back together again - we love each other but we're not in love. :)

Repeatedly. For a couple of years. Since neither of us was seriously dating anyone we continued getting together several times a month for about two years. We finally stopped when I moved far enough away to make it inconvenient. I wonder if our continuing sexual relationship kept him from moving on to something more permanent. Within six months of me moving away he was engaged.

Got divorced and before the ex moved out it seemed the pressure was off and it was kind of good. But 10 years after ??? Nah!!!! She is not even in the same country

Yes.. I got royally screwed. :sniper::sniper:

Rough sex? :D

Uh... T.M.I., seriously. How the heck would I know? I am 16!

Then why reply =\



And yes, regretted it :P

haha yes i fail to see the point of replying without any realy expreiance in the situation. i thin people do this kind of thing to feel like they are part of a convosation that they realy have no part in at all. the advice i wd give is just to listen (or read) intead of trying to be part of the actual convosation, this may alow you to learn something that you may find usful in later life.



if you have read this i have just wasted presious seconds of your life.

haha

thankyou

I don't understand the phrase "one thing leads to another".....

explain to me how this happens. I was cheated on once, and the guy was like "I don't know, it just happened" and "one thing led to another" and "it was an accident"

I don't understand this, still, ten years later, explain.

I don't understand the phrase "one thing leads to another".....

explain to me how this happens. I was cheated on once, and the guy was like "I don't know, it just happened" and "one thing led to another" and "it was an accident"

I don't understand this, still, ten years later, explain.
Ok, so you're there talking to someone who you have no intention of doing anything sexual with. In the case of an ex, perhaps you start reminiscing about the good times and all, perhaps there's an accidental touch which leads to kissing, which leads to... other things... et c.

This definitely doesn't excuse cheating behaviour though.

Ok, so you're there talking to someone who you have no intention of doing anything sexual with. In the case of an ex, perhaps you start reminiscing about the good times and all, perhaps there's an accidental touch which leads to kissing, which leads to... other things... et c.

This definitely doesn't excuse cheating behaviour though.

I don't see that happening to me. I don't regularly have sex with people I don't intend to have sex with.

I don't see the accident part about it, you either choose to stay and have sex, or you leave. I don't see how there is this natural progression out of your control where "things" just lead to "other things" and all of the sudden you are having unintentional sex......

but that's just me, maybe I am not as smooth as you all are.

I don't see that happening to me. I don't regularly have sex with people I don't intend to have sex with.

I don't see the accident part about it, you either choose to stay and have sex, or you leave. I don't see how there is this natural progression out of your control where "things" just lead to "other things" and all of the sudden you are having unintentional sex......

but that's just me, maybe I am not as smooth as you all are.
I didn't say that the whole thing was accidental, just perhaps you both go to reach the same thing at the same time and you accidentally touch and that sort of gets things going. The sex part is rather hard to accidentally do. Like I said "one thing lead to another" is totally not a reason to cheat on someone, it might be how it happened, but it doesn't make it any better. If the two parties are single though then they don't really have any obligations to keep it in their pants.

I didn't say that the whole thing was accidental, just perhaps you both go to reach the same thing at the same time and you accidentally touch and that sort of gets things going. The sex part is rather hard to accidentally do. Like I said "one thing lead to another" is totally not a reason to cheat on someone, it might be how it happened, but it doesn't make it any better. If the two parties are single though then they don't really have any obligations to keep it in their pants.

;) that makes sense.

I just never really understood him when he was like "one thing led to another, it was an accident"

I was like........:rolleyes:

and he was all "but don't you understand?"

no. I don't.

;) that makes sense.

I just never really understood him when he was like "one thing led to another, it was an accident"

I was like........:rolleyes:

and he was all "but don't you understand?"

no. I don't.
Better than "I thought that you were cheating on me, so I cheated on you to get even" (perhaps not those exact words, but along those lines)...

one thing leads to another means exactly that, each little progression makes it that much easier to go one little step farther. A touch leads to touching being ok, and it feels nice, so you keep up the contact, which leads to a little more contact, which feels nice, which leads to somewhat intimate touching, maybe verging on snuggling, which feels good, so you continue that, so then its not a big deal to go every so slightly closer, etc. etc.

If you went from 'hello' to stripping off the clothes and having sex, that would be different. Since each little step is easy, and not very significant from where you are, you do not see it as anything to think about.

Eventually, your judgment is impaired and your inhibitions are reduced enough that you just enjoy the contact (brain chemistry can do interesting things). Eventually you are already significantly excited that you dont stop to think about it, you are just living in the moment. Now when it comes to taking off clothing, that is usually enough of a distraction that you realize what youre doing and then have to make the conscious decision to stop or keep going - since youre already past the point where most partners would be upset, the eventual marginal cost of just enjoying yourself is less than the immediate pressure from your libido. At that point I lose respect, but sometimes you dont even think about anything other than what is immediately before you until after you calm down and relax.

Not a very good explanation, but I hope it sheds light on it (or at least gives someone else enough to be able to express what I mean with at least a shred of eloquence).

This has happened to me before. An ex-lover called be to get togther for lunch and latter we ended up having sex. I wasn't with anyone else at the time, so there was no cheating involved, but it was still awful since I thought I could recapture the old "magic" but it just wasn't there.

It's never happened except in the instance that we broke up but still like each other and it ends up getting sexual again and we end up getting back together.

Actually, this happened to me last night.

She invited me over to play video games. I played for a while, then dozed off on the couch. After everyone else left, she woke me up, and put me to bed... and then, well...

Yeah.

Actually, this happened to me last night.

She invited me over to play video games. I played for a while, then dozed off on the couch. After everyone else left, she woke me up, and put me to bed... and then, well...

Yeah.

You suck. Seriously, video games and sex?

You suck. Seriously, video games and sex?

One more thing:

I'm a terrible insomniac, until I've had sex. Then, I sleep like a baby. So, I also got a good night's sleep like I haven't had in weeks.

You suck. Seriously, video games and sex?
Video games and sex are odd? That's usually par for the course in my relationships... except the one or two guys who didn't have a system (or if we didn't go to his house often).

umm yeah...it has happened...

Has this ever happened to you? You meet up with someone you were formerly romantically involved with and perhaps you get to chatting, perhaps you have a few drinks, either way one thing leads to another and you end up in bed with them.

No, but it's usually not all that wise an idea, from what I've observed from my friends' troubles.