NationStates Jolt Archive

Which JB wins in a battle to the death?

Jello Biafra?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/mgm/casino_royale/daniel_craig/royale17.jpg

Daniel Craig FTW.

Jello Biafra?

Is Jello a spy?

Is Jello a spy?

If I told you, I'd have to kill you?

Bond never could move quickly, unless we're talking about his five minute sexual performances. Bourne would kick his ass from here to Bombay.

If I told you, I'd have to kill you?

I am confused about the question mark and I have come up with three solutions:

1) You are trying to talk in an Australian accent

2) It was a typo

3) You actually think I am head of the secret service, and am asking me to verify the rules on revealing agents' identity. In this case I would have to kill you for discovering my identity.

This is almost similar to Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher.

This is almost similar to Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher.

Was that a thread? If so who won?

OMG Jack Bauer would kick both their asses! He kicks ass, takes names and defends the American people from the evil Russians/Muslims/Germans/Brittons! LOL!

...

3) You actually think I am head of the secret service, and am asking me to verify the rules on revealing agents' identity. In this case I would have to kill you for discovering my identity.

I.. uh.. even the.. thought..!

*flees*

Which Bond?

OMG Jack Bauer would kick both their asses! He kicks ass, takes names and defends the American people from the evil Russians/Muslims/Germans/Brittons! LOL!

...

He does come equipped with the latest and greatest torture techniques I'll give him that. But he's not in the poll!

Which Bond?

Bond, James Bond.

He does come equipped with the latest and greatest torture techniques I'll give him that. But he's not in the poll!

Yeah! It's great! He represents everything that I, or anyone else for that matter, can possibly hate about my country!

...

Oh, and by the way, Bond wins. Bourne is a tool.

And Snake wins in the VG debate...Fisher is a tool.

...And now here's some Tool (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_%28band%29)

WHYYYY CAN'T WE NOT BE SOBER!?

Bond, James Bond.

lmao, walked into that:p.

No, I mean which actor playing him?

Sean Connery would whup Bourne's ass.
George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton would get killed.
Pierce Brosnan & Daniel Craig would kick his ass.

Bourne owns Bond any day.

Bond depends too much on his gadgets, women, and villains that prefer a slow, easily escapable death trap monitored by one incompetent guard. Bourne would kick his ass.

lmao, walked into that:p.

No, I mean which actor playing him?

Sean Connery would whup Bourne's ass.
George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton would get killed.
Pierce Brosnan & Daniel Craig would kick his ass.

Hmm. Well this is based purely on the character and not the actor playing him.

Bourne is a whiney cry baby, Bond is awesome.
[/end thread]

lmao, walked into that:p.

No, I mean which actor playing him?

Sean Connery would whup Bourne's ass.
George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton would get killed.
Pierce Brosnan & Daniel Craig would kick his ass.

You're mostly right, but Dalton would win in a close match.

Bond is actually the better spy, overall. But Bourne is a trained assassin. His combat skills are an order of magnitude greater than Bond's (not that Bond is a slouch).

I also prefer Bourne. Perhaps because he doesn't sleep with every woman he meets.

Bond...

Bond's been played by Sean Connery.

Bourne. He's far superior. A)The movie is more realistic. Anything he does can be done for real. B)Bond relies entirely on gadgets. Bourne is a master of hand-to-hand combat. C) Bounre's backstory is more solid. He has better training. D) Bourne has the stealth skills of a ninja practicaly. E)He is more accurate at shooting F) Bourne gets around crowded places,unfamilar places, and,well, anywhere really. G)Bourne manged ti get around New York,Lodon,Paris and Moscow while escaping from the authorities. H) Bourne has better detective skills. And much,much,more. Bourne wins.

Bond. Not only has he saved the world, a lot, as opposed to himself, but he's also festooned with gadgets and the like. Oh, and he'd be a 1960's Sean Connnery, and could thus out act Bourne.

Bourne easily. He is an amnesia-ridden ninja-CIA-assassin gone mad. But seriously I prefer the Bourne films because, as people said, they do seem a hell of a lot more realistic which I enjoy (even if, when you step back, the plot can seem far fetched). They also have a nice internationalist feel to them, as opposed to the patronising colonialism of Bond films.

BONDBONDBOND
Bourne is just an angry amnesiac, Bond is a killing machine who is really good at beating up crazed russians.

Bourne easily. He is an amnesia-ridden ninja-CIA-assassin gone mad. But seriously I prefer the Bourne films because, as people said, they do seem a hell of a lot more realistic which I enjoy (even if, when you step back, the plot can seem far fetched). They also have a nice internationalist feel to them, as opposed to the patronising colonialism of Bond films.

Patronising colonialism = I can't associate with pre-goldeneye Bondm thus rendering it elitist.

Old Bond films have a certain magic, an insouciant yet nonetheless dramatic air that is far more compelling than the frankly stereotyped "Bourne" thriller type mood.

lmao, walked into that:p.

No, I mean which actor playing him?

Sean Connery would whup Bourne's ass.
George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton would get killed.
Pierce Brosnan & Daniel Craig would kick his ass.

Oh come on. Dalton's Bond set a guy onfire!
Brosnan'd get whupped, mind.

Sean Connery clearly.

Bond is a spy with highly developed martial arts skills.

Bourne is an assassin. Not a well trained guy. Not a martial arts expert. An assassin.

Bourne wins.

bourne wins because bond should have been killed by the hundreds of love children he has made over the years.

Was that a thread? If so who won?

I think Snake won by otaku points.

I think Snake won by otaku points.

Oh yeah.

What about Sam Fisher and the guy from Siphon Filter?

Bond...

Bond's been played by Sean Connery.

And Sean Connery played a terrorist coal miner.

And Sean Connery played a terrorist coal miner.

The Rock!?

The Rock!?

Indubitably perhaps...

Indubitably perhaps...

That was the only movie I remember him being involved in semi-terrorist activity, and being near a coal mine.

"you must never hesitate."

The Rock!?

The Molly Maguires.

That was the only movie I remember him being involved in semi-terrorist activity, and being near a coal mine.

"you must never hesitate."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066090/

Detective James McParlan: Dougherty, then? You've time enough for that. He's not hanged yet.
Jack Kehoe: You're a cool one.
Detective James McParlan: That's the difference between us, Jack.
Jack Kehoe: I have no coolness in me at all.

Bond is actually the better spy, overall. But Bourne is a trained assassin.

As it's made clear in the novels and in the most recent Bond movie, 00-agents are assassins first and foremost. Bond and Bourne are very much in the same line of work.

Bond owns Bourne....Bourne doesn't have females with names like pussy galore...I mean that alone makes Bond the winner...plus all the cool gadgets he gets watch with a laser...car with stinger missile headlights..and as for car chases..Bond drives a tank through St Petersburg...Bourne isn't anywhere near 007's level...:p

Jack Bauer pwns Bond. Just because Bond is stupid and can't do anything without everyone around being even more stupid.

Has Bourne ever been involved in a mass underwater scuba battle between dozens of men on each side in shark-infested waters in order to stop a maniac with an atomic bomb? I think not! :p

Bond wins. :)

Jack Bauer pwns Bond. Just because Bond is stupid and can't do anything without everyone around being even more stupid.

Jack Bauer is a joke....the atom ant is even cooler than Jack Bauer

Bourne. Easily.

Has Bourne ever been involved in a mass underwater scuba battle between dozens of men on each side in shark-infested waters in order to stop a maniac with an atomic bomb? I think not! :p

Bond wins. :)

No, that's where he loses. Bond needs a ton of contacts, a multi-billion dollar support team and more gadgets than a Swiss watch factory. He's a leach off the system to do what he does.

Bond also has a penchant for destroying his equipment by the truckloads every single time. And getting caught in stupid villain traps TM.

Bourne has his fists, his wits and his preternatural senses for danger. Rather than wade through hundreds of guards, he goes straight for the jugular.

Bond gets distracted by pretty ladies.

Nothing distracts Bourne.

Bond needs fancy cars with hi-tech gadgets.

Bourne hotwires his rides.

Bourne does more with less.

While Bond is busy charming ladies or destroying cars, Bourne is quietly putting a bullet in his brain.

Bourne wins.

No, that's where he loses. Bond needs a ton of contacts, a multi-billion dollar support team and more gadgets than a Swiss watch factory. He's a leach off the system to do what he does.

Bond also has a penchant for destroying his equipment by the truckloads every single time. And getting caught in stupid villain traps TM.

Bourne has his fists, his wits and his preternatural senses for danger. Rather than wade through hundreds of guards, he goes straight for the jugular.

Bond gets distracted by pretty ladies.

Nothing distracts Bourne.

Bond needs fancy cars with hi-tech gadgets.

Bourne hotwires his rides.

Bourne does more with less.

While Bond is busy charming ladies or destroying cars, Bourne is quietly putting a bullet in his brain.

Bourne wins.


Oddly enough, every comparison you made is why I think Bond wins. :p

I love them both, they are both cool and interesting in their own way.

But I'd have to go with Bourne for pure efficiency.

No, that's where he loses. Bond needs a ton of contacts, a multi-billion dollar support team and more gadgets than a Swiss watch factory. He's a leach off the system to do what he does.

Bond also has a penchant for destroying his equipment by the truckloads every single time. And getting caught in stupid villain traps TM.

Bourne has his fists, his wits and his preternatural senses for danger. Rather than wade through hundreds of guards, he goes straight for the jugular.

Bond gets distracted by pretty ladies.

Nothing distracts Bourne.

Bond needs fancy cars with hi-tech gadgets.

Bourne hotwires his rides.

Bourne does more with less.

While Bond is busy charming ladies or destroying cars, Bourne is quietly putting a bullet in his brain.

Bourne wins.

So basically Bourne is as corny as McGuyver then...:p

As for hotwiring..common criminals can do that...I believe what you meant to say was While Bourne is at home alone angrily dealing with his identity crisis much like a young teenage girl trying to figure out who he really is Bond is out in a lavish Casino with a hot woman having saved the world from some sort of nuclear holocaust or death ray...

Bourne does more with less.
"More"? Excuse me, but just how many times has Bourne managed to save the world? Zero, at last count, wasn't it?
I believe what you mean to say is "Bourne does less with less because he is an amnesiac, angst-ridden pest."

The votes for the first two options say a lot about this subject. :p

Jack Bauer is a joke....
If he's a joke, the joke is on heroes.

James Bond wouldn't survive a day in the real world. Give some brain to his enemies, and he's pwnt - he never fought anyone with even half a brain. Cut off the supergadget delivery chain, pull off his support team (or make them his enemies!), and he'll do just nothing. Make the situation at least a bit complex and he'll never find the mastermind unless he has a proper badge or an evil grin. Cut the thin support cables and Bond amounts to little.

Jack Bauer and Jason Bourne are the sort of guy who gets his hands dirty but the job done, whatever the cost and whatever tools he has. They've been in situations as complicated as they get. They think outside the box, so they can live and win when that Bond's movie cliche box falls apart.

Oddly enough, every comparison you made is why I think Bond wins. :p

Say's the clown that swears by the mud pie launcher.

Either way, you're just envious of the tech Bond uses. :p

Cut his supply chain and see how well Bond lasts.

"More"? Excuse me, but just how many times has Bourne managed to save the world? Zero, at last count, wasn't it?

The count was zero for Bond as well. Grand extortion here, mass genocide there, economic collapse over there. The world would get along fine if he stayed at home. Humanity, not so much.

Besides, Bourne wasn't given any outlandish foes to fight who could magic resources out of thin air.

So basically Bourne is as corny as McGuyver then...:p

I've yet to see Bourne make a helicopter out of toothpicks. And even dealing with his identity crisis, with zero resources, he managed to evade police pursuit, multiple sleeper assassins, and still shut down the control unit, and personally threaten the next director of the CIA into obedience for years.

Lets see Bond do all that without his fancy gadgets.

Oh come on people. The only reason why you like Bond is cause he's flashy and all round destructive. He's the very embodiment of American commercials. Cheap, flashy, and all round lacking in depth or content.

And most importantly. Bourne can go undercover. Bond can't.

Security agent: Who are you?
Bourne: Nikolas Viscyhek
Bond: Bond. James Bond.

No surprises who's going to get caught.

Bond. Hands down.

Bourne gets all sentimental about people. I saw that last Bond film, I know what went on in that man's head. "Damn it, the only woman I've ever truly loved has just drowned herself. I will callously distance myself from her memory, screw several hundred women over the next few decades... but first, I'm going to go kneecap a guy with a nice house."

I think we can all agree with that.

As a avid reader, I have to ask this: Which Bourne?

The Bourne from the novel trilogy,
the Bourne from the 1988 mini series with Richard Chamberlain or
the Bourne from the 2002/2004/2007 movies?

If 1, then Bourne, hands down. A coldhearted, well trained ex-mercenary with experience in a real warzone versus a spy-assasin who styles himself a gentleman.

If 2, undecided. Chamberlain is too busy re-collecting his memory to be very efficient. But his reflexes are still very present.

If 3, then Blaah. Those are only about Bourne in name...

Bourne definitely. He killed a guy with a book, newspaper, and pen. I mean how can you possibly beat that? All bond has are some lousy gadgets.

If 1, then Bourne, hands down. A coldhearted, well trained ex-mercenary with experience in a real warzone versus a spy-assasin who styles himself a gentleman.

Don't forget master of counter-intelligence and disguise. Bond's a dilletante compared to Webb.


If 3, then Blaah. Those are only about Bourne in name...
As I've told my wife: once he's in the water, it's a whole other story. Didn't even shoot him in the same place.

Bond becasue he suave and sosphisticated smokes turkish cigaettes and gets all his suits tailored in saville row , but yet he can be right bastard when he wants ot be , Bond used some woman as a human shield when he being shot at

Bourne would have Bond.

Thing is though that they are fundamentally different.

Bond was a marksman. A one shot killer. His 'unarmed' martial arts consisted of basic judo moves and improvised weaponry against the 'boss' characters.

Bourne is a machine programmed to kill. His unarmed combat skills go far beyond anything Bond has even encountered.

In a unarmed fight Bond would last about as long as you can say Sean Connery.

If its a case of sneaking up on your opponent and killing him....well.....that could be interesting. If we are talking about Ian Flemming's Bond.

If we are talking Roger 'The Killer Eyebrow' Moore then even Papa Smurf would have him.

Sorry. Roger Moore nearly killed Bond off.

The new last Bond film was easily as good as Dr No. Easily one of the best ever.

Bourne has also lasted so far. I doubt there will be many more. Matt Damon is perfect as Bourne. The movies are very good and up to Bond films and the other 'brand' names.

In fact I think I could put Bourne in the same category as Ronin for a 'European' movie. Still it has a great amount of international locations but the feel of the movie is European.

Anyway....Bourne twats Bond.

End of.

Bourne has also lasted so far. I doubt there will be many more. Matt Damon is perfect as Bourne. The movies are very good and up to Bond films and the other 'brand' names.


God I hope there won't be any more, no one can ever convince me there are more than 3 Bourne novels.

Although, making them into movies might actually improve the mental abominations that are The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal.

God I hope there won't be any more, no one can ever convince me there are more than 3 Bourne novels.

Although, making them into movies might actually improve the mental abominations that are The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal.

Pah. I bet you liked T3 as well! :mad: LOL :)

Don't forget master of counter-intelligence and disguise. Bond's a dilletante compared to Webb.

Indeed. I'm not sure in which book it was, but at one point one of the officials says about Marie:

"She has learned from the best. If she only learned 5% of what Bourne could teach her, we'll never even know she's there..."

God, love the trilogy. I need to unpack those boxes of books this week.

I saw that last Bond film, I know what went on in that man's head.
In that man's what? I thought it was a loudspeaker.

DangerMouse
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42051000/jpg/_42051626_dangermouse_203b.jpg

DangerMouse
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42051000/jpg/_42051626_dangermouse_203b.jpg

You win!

You win!

Crumbs chief

Pah. I bet you liked T3 as well! :mad: LOL :)

:p

Indeed. I'm not sure in which book it was, but at one point one of the officials says about Marie:

"She has learned from the best. If she only learned 5% of what Bourne could teach her, we'll never even know she's there..."

God, love the trilogy. I need to unpack those boxes of books this week.

Exactly. If someone learned 5% of what Bond had to teach, all they'd get is the clap.

By the way, to Bond fans, could you tell what specifically could Bond teach? I can name a few things:
- Always have a huge agent network supporting you
- Always have lots of cool and expensive gadgets
- Remember the enemy is always stupid and luck is on your side
- Sex, umm, yummy
Do you have anything to add?

Crumbs chief

No one can beat DM...

Its a no brainer LOL :)

DangerMouse
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42051000/jpg/_42051626_dangermouse_203b.jpg

looks like any other cartoon mouse. How do you think a cartoon mouse will stand a chance against either?

Snake Fucking Plissken could murder both their sorry asses in one fifth of a second.

On a serf-board.

While shutting off the world's power.

Thus plunging Earth into the Dark Ages.

Bond wins and I like him better

Snake Fucking Plissken could murder both their sorry asses in one fifth of a second.

On a serf-board.

While shutting off the world's power.

Thus plunging Earth into the Dark Ages.

LOLOLOL!!!!!

"Bourne does less with less because he is an amnesiac, angst-ridden pest."

Poetry! :D

Bond actually sleeps with women..... and drives Aston-Martins not shitty ass minis