NationStates Jolt Archive

Think of the poor children!

JOHN Howard is going to spend $189 million on "cleaning up the Internet" for Australian families, blocking pornography, upgrading the search for chatroom sex predators and cutting off terror sites.

Every Australian family will be provided with a free internet filter and the federal Government will enter an unprecedented partnership with service providers to filter pornography at the source.

Communications and Australian Federal Police resources will be boosted immediately to expand checks on chatrooms to detect child predators, and privacy laws masking sex offenders on the net will be altered.

The Prime Minister unveiled his new net commandments last night on a webcast to more than 700 churches around the country. At least 100,000 people were believed to have watched.

Kevin Rudd also delivered an addresses as part of the webcast.

Mr Howard and the Opposition Leader agreed to speak for 20 minutes and answer questions from church leaders at the National Press Club in Canberra as part of the Australian Christian Lobby's campaign to get Christians to make their vote count.

Both leaders attend church and have appealed to Christian voters to support them.

Last night, as Mr Howard talked about Christianity and family values, he revealed the government plan to upgrade the protection for families from Internet pornography, violence and sexual predators.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22218929-2,00.html?from=mostpop

Has this government really got nothing better to do? I don't have a problem with spending money on catching child sex predators, but if people have the money to own a computer with internet connection they can get their own damn filters.

I want more porn on my internets, not less!

I vote we hang the next politician that talks about religious values.

I vote we hang the next politician that talks about religious values.

i vote for that and for taking away my porn

I vote we hang the next politician that talks about religious values.

No matter where they are from.

I'd actually prefer like an inverted internet filter, so it only allows porn:)

I have already launched a counterattack on youtube to this :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWKSSualMa0

Filters they say. How much you want to bet there's a bunch of monitoring software embedded into the system?

Why is the Coalition always so keen to censor everything? I always imagine Howard as an old man looking at an open web browser, pointing his finger and shouting "The work of the devil! Burn those computer things before they pollute the minds of our youth!"

I'd actually prefer like an inverted internet filter, so it only allows porn:)

I have already launched a counterattack on youtube to this :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWKSSualMa0

I want more porn on my internets, not less!


Both QFT'd and a jolly good idea:D

I'd actually prefer like an inverted internet filter, so it only allows porn:)

You mean Google?

It will not work anyway, kids these days are smart with their computers. I assume the kids will be able to disable the software in 5 minutes given they have access to Google. Most parents don't have clue what kids with their computers anyway.

Anyway, the filter should stop those horrible dirty videos put on youtube created by a short bald man called John, who claims to the PM of Australia.

lol

and "unprecedented partnership with service providers"

as if isps WANT to spend their resources blocking 100million porn sites from their servers.

as if $189million could possibly be enough money.

Think of the poor children!



http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22218929-2,00.html?from=mostpop

Has this government really got nothing better to do? I don't have a problem with spending money on catching child sex predators, but if people have the money to own a computer with internet connection they can get their own damn filters.

I've got nothing against his plan to eliminate the sex predators, but what does this guy have against porn? :mad:

On the other hand, I neard a really good joke involving John Howard. It goes like this:

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger, said, "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA Basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die..." So he took the first pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States, I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator and a potential future President." She just took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Howard, said, "I am the Prime Minister of Australia, I have a great responsibility being the leader of a great nation. And above all I'm the most intelligent Prime Minister in Australian history, so Australia's people won't let me die".

So he put on the pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, The Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year-old schoolboy, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The boy said, "It's ok, there's a parachute left for you. Australia's most intelligent Prime Minister has taken my backpack."

I've got nothing against the sex predators.

lulz

Oldie but a goodie. I like this one, myself;

A man walks into a garden store and asks the assistant what a particular plant is called. The assistant says "We call it Howard."

"Why do you call it Howard?" asks the man.

"Because it's a little bush."

Aaanywaaaayyyyy...

What puzzled me most is that they're making free copies for every family. Isn't that extremely inefficient? Half of them won't even have an internet connection, and most of the other half will either already have filters or they won't care about what their kids are looking at.

Why is the Coalition always so keen to censor everything? I always imagine Howard as an old man looking at an open web browser, pointing his finger and shouting "The work of the devil! Burn those computer things before they pollute the minds of our youth!"

China wants to censor everything, too (including porn). And they don't even mention the devil.

They even want online games to have a built in timer that kicks you out of the game if you play more than a few hours - and if you try to log back in again too soon, they want the game design to punish you in-game by taking your in-game loot and money and skills.

You don't have to be a religious nut to want to control people's lives. You only have to want power.

China wants to censor everything, too (including porn). And they don't even mention the devil.

They even want online games to have a built in timer that kicks you out of the game if you play more than a few hours - and if you try to log back in again too soon, they want the game design to punish you in-game by taking your in-game loot and money and skills.

You don't have to be a religious nut to want to control people's lives. You only have to want power.

People in China do seem to have a lot of restrictions on what they do in their own homes, a common example of communism. I suppose the difference is that China makes its goals very clear while the Coalition government pretends that its keeping kids safe by using the disguise of religion.

Kids shouldn't be looking up porn, but its up to their parents to teach them right from wrong, not a nanny state politician. Teenagers and adults can make their own judgements about what to look up.

Why is the Coalition always so keen to censor everything? I always imagine Howard as an old man looking at an open web browser, pointing his finger and shouting "The work of the devil! Burn those computer things before they pollute the minds of our youth!"

The Coalition plan is LESS intrusive than Labor's. The coalition just wants to put in filters - Labor wants to lock out sites they don't want you to see.

lulz

Oldie but a goodie. I like this one, myself;

A man walks into a garden store and asks the assistant what a particular plant is called. The assistant says "We call it Howard."

"Why do you call it Howard?" asks the man.

"Because it's a little bush."

Aaanywaaaayyyyy...

What puzzled me most is that they're making free copies for every family. Isn't that extremely inefficient? Half of them won't even have an internet connection, and most of the other half will either already have filters or they won't care about what their kids are looking at.

Good joke. I meant to say his plan to eliminate the sex predators.

I have a joke as well!

While on his morning walk, Prime Minister John Howard falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency ward at his nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.

So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," says Saint Peter, "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer," says the PM. "I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVENCHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity." "But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," replies Howard. "I'm sorry ... But we have our rules," Peter interjects.

And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down ... All the way to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Bob Menzies and thousands of other Liberals luminaries who had helped him out over the years ---Harold Holt, John Gorton, Bill McMahon, etc. The whole of the Liberal Party leaders were there ... Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.
They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Howard with a frosty drink, "Have a tequila and relax, John! " "Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says Howard, dejectedly. "This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!"

Howard takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Liberals pulled with the GST and the Free Trade Agreement promises. They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Howard steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate. So for 24 hours Howard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special! "Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself. "Bob Menzies never prepared me for this!"

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Howard reflects for a minute ... Then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, kind of like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Howard and puts an arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers a shocked John, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wastelandfull of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs,

"Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"

Anyway I wouldn't mind a filter for some porn (child, etc.) but only limited filters. Then again Howard seems to be going as usual. I just hope he doesn't force any g'ment program to have a pic of him in his jogging costume...

China wants to censor everything, too (including porn). And they don't even mention the devil.

They even want online games to have a built in timer that kicks you out of the game if you play more than a few hours - and if you try to log back in again too soon, they want the game design to punish you in-game by taking your in-game loot and money and skills.

You don't have to be a religious nut to want to control people's lives. You only have to want power.

Yes but the difference being that China is a quasi-fascist state-capitalist despotism, while my country is supposedly democratic yet we allow Christian nutjobs to try and tell us how to live and think.

Also I honestly don't know what Howard is getting at, but child porn popups don't randomly come up when surfing wiki or whatever, I mean depending on what your looking at the worst you'll get is a sexual orientated picture, not even overt nudity. I am just sick of people acting as if sexuality is unnatural or dangerous, the only reason this 'devious' perception exists is because religious nutjobs are afraid of free sexuality.

Last year Beazily announced a similar plan that, if the ALP won the next election, they'd also contribute a large amount to porn filters. Anyone know if they still have this policy?

That fucking worm, webcasting his lockdown on civil liberties to the christians. What a shameless vote grab. AAARGH! *punches fist through wall*

...this really pisses me off. I'm not even that opposed tothe liberals. But this is such an egregious violation of everything I uphold to be worthwhile in politics. Not only is he eroding civil liberties by combatting something which is (a) nothing to do with the government, and (b) a clasic 'consensual crime' with zero victims, but he is also shamelessly buying votes with tax dollars which IMO should be spent as infrequently as possible. Plus, he is buying christian votes, my most hated minority. Also, he is successful in doing so.

I suppose I should take consolation that Howard is effectively pinning himself into the fundie-right corner, and reducing mainstream appeal. Whilst he will intensify voter support in churches, I expect this will alienate him from the rest of Australia. Hopefully.

Fucking Fuck Fucker!

Declaring a war on pornography is to declare a war against ME!

To arms, fellow perverts! :D

This is just moronic. Even if the filter was voluntary it would be a waste of tax money (and should be provided from a private industry selling it to people who want filters). But giving one to every family? Are they free to not use it? If so, then it isn't as bad, but still an unjust expense of tax revenue.