NationStates Jolt Archive

IRANIAN newspapers have long poured scorn on the debauchery and deviousness of the British Foreign Office.

But now the criticism has been cranked up further with the alleged discovery of a secret tunnel used to sneak "spies and prostitutes" into the British embassy in Tehran.

The passage was been uncovered by workmen, according to reports.

...

A blogger who used to work at the embassy was reported as saying: "The British embassy is using the tunnel for the comings and goings of spies linked to the embassy, and prostitutes."

http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=1245812007

Through a secret underground passage, no less. The depth of British duplicity is tremendous. Now how will those poor diplomats cope with their loneliness in a foreign land?

worse yet, the girls were probably bringing porkchops and ale along with.

NOW what will they do?

Now how will those poor diplomats cope with their loneliness in a foreign land?


I guess they'll just have start auditioning the finger puppets.

http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=1245812007

Through a secret underground passage, no less. The depth of British duplicity is tremendous. Now how will those poor diplomats cope with their loneliness in a foreign land?

We should run a counter story - Iran filled with prostitutes!

Where did these prostitutes come from? Iran no less.

The immoral and corrupt ways of the insidious Mahmoud has given rise to a land of Jezebels, ladies of the night and he should be condemned as such.

One side of me is hesitant to trust Iranian news sources, but the other half thinks it's too funny not to be true. :p

One side of me is hesitant to trust Iranian news sources, but the other half thinks it's too funny not to be true. :p

And then the third side is asking for a few shots of said soliciters...

It's Iran, after all! The only way this story would be better if they were being smuggled into a British embassy in Saudi Arabia.

This story is not implausible.

This story is not implausible.

It would be more plausible if they'd have said male prostitutes.

Oh comon, let the Brits have the Prostitutes, I mean they got to get laid somehow and I doubt there's KY Jelly in there.

Prostitutes, Deviousness, Intrigue and Western spies, ON MY!

/tomclancynovel

Oh comon, let the Brits have the Prostitutes, I mean they got to get laid somehow and I doubt there's KY Jelly in there.

Since we are talking about the Foreign Office, there is undoubtedly some type of lubricant in there. It's somewhat notorious for it. No doubt it stems from having received a 'proper' british education.

Maybe the Brits might want to take part in a little sexual roleplay, 'Embassy Hostage Crisis' with bondage and torture:eek:

Maybe the Brits might want to take part in a little sexual roleplay, 'Embassy Hostage Crisis' with bondage and torture:eek:

There are obviously trying to get a foot hold in the burgeoning Iranian pr0n market

There are obviously trying to get a foot hold in the burgeoning Iranian pr0n market

That so gives me an idea for a porn movie.

That so gives me an idea for a porn movie.

needs musts when the devil drives

Now how will those poor diplomats cope with their loneliness in a foreign land?

Oh, I think you underestimate the clever resourcefulness of lonely men. ;)

That so gives me an idea for a porn movie.

'Getting Dirty in the Mosque'?

It would be more plausible if they'd have said male prostitutes.

The Old Boy Network...

It's obvious the locals aren't paying well enough. :p

Surely it was to smuggle in Ferrero Rocher

Surely it was to smuggle in Ferrero Rocher

You're spoiling us Ambassador!

Those wretched moslims have no place to call anyone on sexual promiscuity. They have sexual practices so vile it could set a good and holy Christian man's blood to boiling.

Those wretched moslims have no place to call anyone on sexual promiscuity. They have sexual practices so vile it could set a good and holy Christian man's blood to boiling.

You are a very silly person

Those wretched moslims have no place to call anyone on sexual promiscuity. They have sexual practices so vile it could set a good and holy Christian man's blood to boiling.

I take it you're ok with Abraham fucking his handmaiden then.

I take it you're ok with Abraham fucking his handmaiden then.

You are aware that the Moslems allow for up to 4 wives, allow for a quick divorce of any of them, and likewise are able to have "temporary" marriages consisting of 3 days or so?

So if a Moslem wanted to, he could pick up a car full of hookers, "marry them" for the weekend, screw them silly (for about the price of a piece of cloth...to marry, that is), and then dump them off in the local ditch...dead...on Monday having commited a series of "honor killings."

You are aware that the Moslems allow for up to 4 wives, allow for a quick divorce of any of them, and likewise are able to have "temporary" marriages consisting of 3 days or so?

So if a Moslem wanted to, he could pick up a car full of hookers, "marry them" for the weekend, screw them silly (for about the price of a piece of cloth...to marry, that is), and then dump them off in the local ditch...dead...on Monday having commited a series of "honor killings."

While technically that is possible, it probably doesn't occur as often as you might think.

Taliban have been known to carry pre-filled marriage certificates to use when raping women, yes.

But most Muslims don't do it. The temporary marriages are frowned upon in some circles, and they read a lot of intent into your activities. It could get you stoned to death in Saudi if you tried it there and they caught you.

You still haven't answered me about Abraham. That would be a neat trick, telling my wife that since she can't conceive, God told me to fuck her handmaid and get her pregnant...

There are two proofs I offer that the Bible was not written by women (and I'm a big believer in God).

The handmaid story is the first. No woman would buy that from her husband.

The second is that no woman would buy the Resurrection. Your husband hangs out unemployed with a dozen unemployed guys, wandering around the country, in trouble with the law, going to parties and making wine, talking to hookers, hanging out with "sinners", and then he goes to a party, gets arrested, and goes missing for three days.

When he gets back, he says he was executed, died, and was raised three days later. That's also proof that Jesus was not married, no matter what the DaVinci Code says - no wife would buy that story.

One side of me is hesitant to trust Iranian news sources...Iranian? Must be fake..

Those wretched moslims have no place to call anyone on sexual promiscuity. They have sexual practices so vile it could set a good and holy Christian man's blood to boiling.

Meanwhile, those of us who realize that the Christian religion--like all others--were simply put together to explain stuff that we could not explain at the time and were then perverted to control the masses will enjoy sex, because we know it's fine so long as we're safe.

Those wretched moslims have no place to call anyone on sexual promiscuity. They have sexual practices so vile it could set a good and holy Christian man's blood to boiling.I dont know, I am not "moslim", and I can be a very-very bad boy.. when I am doing the locomotion :D

Your blood boiling for my sexual pratices?

Lifeisabeach holy boy ;)

There are two proofs I offer that the Bible was not written by women (and I'm a big believer in God).

The handmaid story is the first. No woman would buy that from her husband.

The second is that no woman would buy the Resurrection. Your husband hangs out unemployed with a dozen unemployed guys, wandering around the country, in trouble with the law, going to parties and making wine, talking to hookers, hanging out with "sinners", and then he goes to a party, gets arrested, and goes missing for three days.

When he gets back, he says he was executed, died, and was raised three days later. That's also proof that Jesus was not married, no matter what the DaVinci Code says - no wife would buy that story.

But how many husbands would believe the "I haven't been sleeping around, it was the Holy Spirit!"?

The three wise men, on the other hand, were undisputably male: if they were women they would have stopped to ask for directions instead of just following a star.

Iranian? Must be fake..

Well, the Iranians don't have a very good track record when it comes to propaganda; does anyone remember the Republican Guard claiming to have captured a ruthless band of British Spy Squirrels?

There are two proofs I offer that the Bible was not written by women (and I'm a big believer in God).

The handmaid story is the first. No woman would buy that from her husband.

The second is that no woman would buy the Resurrection. Your husband hangs out unemployed with a dozen unemployed guys, wandering around the country, in trouble with the law, going to parties and making wine, talking to hookers, hanging out with "sinners", and then he goes to a party, gets arrested, and goes missing for three days.

When he gets back, he says he was executed, died, and was raised three days later. That's also proof that Jesus was not married, no matter what the DaVinci Code says - no wife would buy that story.

But how many husbands would believe the "I haven't been sleeping around, it was the Holy Spirit!"?

The three wise men, on the other hand, were undisputably male: if they were women they would have stopped to ask for directions instead of just following a star.

You win. Everything.

You win. Everything.

You have to agree, though, if you're a guy, then my version of Jesus rocks.

While technically that is possible, it probably doesn't occur as often as you might think.

Taliban have been known to carry pre-filled marriage certificates to use when raping women, yes.

But most Muslims don't do it. The temporary marriages are frowned upon in some circles, and they read a lot of intent into your activities. It could get you stoned to death in Saudi if you tried it there and they caught you.

You still haven't answered me about Abraham. That would be a neat trick, telling my wife that since she can't conceive, God told me to fuck her handmaid and get her pregnant...

There are two proofs I offer that the Bible was not written by women (and I'm a big believer in God).

The handmaid story is the first. No woman would buy that from her husband.

The second is that no woman would buy the Resurrection. Your husband hangs out unemployed with a dozen unemployed guys, wandering around the country, in trouble with the law, going to parties and making wine, talking to hookers, hanging out with "sinners", and then he goes to a party, gets arrested, and goes missing for three days.

When he gets back, he says he was executed, died, and was raised three days later. That's also proof that Jesus was not married, no matter what the DaVinci Code says - no wife would buy that story.

youre not the usual RO are you?

or have you just developed a sense of humor?

i enjoyed that

youre not the usual RO are you?

or have you just developed a sense of humor?

i enjoyed that

I am RO - most people kneejerk and never think to look for any humor.

Wait a minute... did the blogger in the article mean that the tunnels were being used by spies linked both to the embassy and prostitutes (as is the British Embassy was hiring prostitutes to spy of Iranian officials for them). Or did it mean that the tunnels were being used by spies and also by prostitutes. The meaning differs quite a lot... c.c

Wait a minute... did the blogger in the article mean that the tunnels were being used by spies linked both to the embassy and prostitutes (as is the British Embassy was hiring prostitutes to spy of Iranian officials for them). Or did it mean that the tunnels were being used by spies and also by prostitutes. The meaning differs quite a lot... c.c

I think it means the second interpretation - that somehow, embassy personnel use spies, and use prostitutes.

I'm waiting for them to say that the rear entrance was used by gay men.

Its a well known fact that all British secret agents are womanizers who will go insane without getting some at least twice a day. Theyre crafty though, and have clever methods of getting their needs satisfied.

I think it means the second interpretation - that somehow, embassy personnel use spies, and use prostitutes.

I'm waiting for them to say that the rear entrance was used by gay men.Damn... taken too seriously. Curse you, RO.

Now I'm thinking about speciality gay car insurance, and policy holders ringing up to claim after they've been rear-ended. :eek:

Damn... taken too seriously. Curse you, RO.

I love to hear that...

Well, the Iranians don't have a very good track record when it comes to propaganda... YEAH.. they are as good as we are. ;)

youre not the usual RO are you?

or have you just developed a sense of humor?

i enjoyed that

There's apparently multiple people behind the account.