NationStates Jolt Archive


What We All Knew About Florida

Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 14:47
Yes, it's a "fiesta of weirdness".

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/09/na-florida-seen-as-fiesta-of-weirdness/

The guy who runs fark.com, and tags stories as "weird, asinine, etc." has a tag for "Florida" because the place is so messed up.

We asked Curtis what the Florida tag means. After he stopped laughing, he referred us to his new book.

His viewers suggested that 'so many stupid things happen in Florida, it deserved its own Fark tag,' Curtis wrote. 'I wasn't convinced it would get much use, but I decided to go ahead and put it up anyhow. Boy was I wrong.'

Below are recent examples of his Curtis's use of the Florida tag.

• Here's a great idea. Take a cougar to a 4-year-old's birthday and take it off the leash.

• Man evicted from place of business because he doesn't speak Spanish.

• If you're going to go into an office to ask for donations to cover the costs of your daughter's death, make sure your daughter isn't waiting in the car.

• Woman decides that Chuck E. Cheese would make a better parent than she would.

• If you're going to spread oil all over the floor of a grocery store and fake a fall, make sure the surveillance cameras aren't rolling.

'For some reason,' Curtis concluded, 'Florida is messed up. ... Perhaps it's the warm weather that makes people stupid. ... Whatever the reason, Florida is without a doubt the No. 1 state for weird news.

'I would be willing to bet that most of it begins with a few beers and goes downhill from there. ... Throw in some old people and some lost tourists and you have a fiesta of weirdness.'

Maybe people are getting too much sun, and frying their brains.

At least we aren't going to run short on strange stories to post as DCD Memorial Strange Events.

Recent idiocy in Florida:

Corpse Tennis ('http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/08/man-killed-after-hit-5-cars-interstate/?news-breaking&imw=Y')

TAMPA -- A 49-year-old Brandon man died after being hit by five cars Tuesday evening on Interstate Hwy. 4, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Only one driver stopped to report the accident.

The man's name will be released once his family is notified.

"We just don't know why he was crossing and doing what he did," said FHP spokesman Larry Coggins.

He said there was no disabled vehicle belonging to the man in the area.

The man was crossing the freeway on foot just west of the intersection with I-75 when he was hit by a car in the right westbound lane, about 8:45 p.m. The impact sent him into a 2004 Taurus traveling in the left lane. That collision left him in the center lane, where he was hit by a third car. The impact threw him into the eastbound lanes, where he was hit by two more cars, Florida Highway Patrol said.

And this!

Beat Your Family On The Way To Church ('http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/08/drive-church-ends-child-abuse-domestic-battery-and/?news-breaking&imw=Y')

Yeah, when you lose money in the stock market, take it out on your family...

TEMPLE TERRACE - A 64-year-old motorist driving to church beat his passengers with his fists before they jumped out for safety when he slowed down the car, according to an arrest report.

Denny Kunak, of 10403 Woodmere, Tampa, faces three counts of child abuse and one count each of domestic battery and kidnapping for hitting a woman and three young children, according to the report.

He remained at Orient Road Jail late Wednesday with no bail set.

While driving, Kunak began hitting and slapping the children ‑ ages 7, 5 and 3 years – as they sat in the back seat, the report said. The woman, 38, told him to stop and he responded by hitting her left ear, the report said.

She told investigators it was "very painful."

The incident occurred shortly before 11 a.m. when the four were headed to Christ Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 304 Druid Hills Road. The woman asked Kunak to stop the car in the parking lot so they could get out, the report said. Instead, he slowed the vehicle in the lot before turning to leave.

The woman opened the passenger door and fell into the street, injuring herself, and yelled to the children to get out, as well, the report said.

The woman told police that Kunak had become angry about the stock market and started hitting them. She didn't elaborate, city spokesman Mike Dunn said.
Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 15:00
Found a probable NSer:

http://www.wftv.com/news/13854341/detail.html

MIAMI -- A graying hippie is living in a treehouse above a secret garden in the middle of Miami.

For 15 years, 56-year-old Shawnee Chasser has lived atop the 1.5-acre nirvana of green trees and farm animals behind a row of houses ten minutes from downtown.

The tree also provides extra income. Chasser has been bombarded with calls after a Craigslist posting that offers two treehouse rooms, each $380 a month. She said many are so taken with the ad, they have sent her checks sight unseen.
Rambhutan
09-08-2007, 15:03
We have a phrase in the UK "Normal for Norfolk" which corresponds to the Florida tag.
Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 15:05
We have a phrase in the UK "Normal for Norfolk" which corresponds to the Florida tag.

Is that like "Ugly as Hull"?
Levee en masse
09-08-2007, 15:08
We have a phrase in the UK "Normal for Norfolk" which corresponds to the Florida tag.

The NFN thing was a medical notes thing that suggested there were slight and minor genetic abnormalities in the patient that were probably due to a smaller gene pool then usual (inbreeding) ;)
Johnny B Goode
09-08-2007, 15:09
Yes, it's a "fiesta of weirdness".

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/09/na-florida-seen-as-fiesta-of-weirdness/

The guy who runs fark.com, and tags stories as "weird, asinine, etc." has a tag for "Florida" because the place is so messed up.



Maybe people are getting too much sun, and frying their brains.

At least we aren't going to run short on strange stories to post as DCD Memorial Strange Events.

Recent idiocy in Florida:

Corpse Tennis ('http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/08/man-killed-after-hit-5-cars-interstate/?news-breaking&imw=Y')



And this!

Beat Your Family On The Way To Church ('http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/aug/08/drive-church-ends-child-abuse-domestic-battery-and/?news-breaking&imw=Y')

Yeah, when you lose money in the stock market, take it out on your family...

Wow...
Levee en masse
09-08-2007, 15:15
Is that like "Ugly as Hull"?

Nah,

dispite superficial similarities in the geography.
Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 15:16
Nah,

dispite superficial similarities in the geography.

Ye Gods, the women in Hull are walking atrocities.
The Atlantian islands
09-08-2007, 15:17
Represent!
http://touristguide.com/maps/florida-map.jpg
Levee en masse
09-08-2007, 15:20
Ye Gods, the women in Hull are walking atrocities.

And as flat as pancakes?
Maineiacs
09-08-2007, 15:42
Ye Gods, the women in Hull are walking atrocities.

Kind of like the joke we have up here:

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Maine woman and a moose?

A: The woman's the one in the flannel shirt.
Bitchkitten
09-08-2007, 17:08
• Here's a great idea. Take a cougar to a 4-year-old's birthday and take it off the leash.

Ya know, the Florida panther is a nearly extinct sub-species of cougar. Human children are quite common. I think we can spare a few.:p
Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 17:13
• Here's a great idea. Take a cougar to a 4-year-old's birthday and take it off the leash.

Ya know, the Florida panther is a nearly extinct sub-species of cougar. Human children are quite common. I think we can spare a few.:p

Now we know what kinds of "cats" you keep, and what you feed them...
Bitchkitten
09-08-2007, 17:56
Now we know what kinds of "cats" you keep, and what you feed them...Sigged :D
Lunatic Goofballs
09-08-2007, 18:19
I spent the better part of a year living in Florida...


...I'm just saying! :D
Remote Observer
09-08-2007, 18:20
I spent the better part of a year living in Florida...


...I'm just saying! :D

oh, now we know!