NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2007/08/03/ddn080307policeblotter.html

What the hell is America coming to? Don't they fear God any more? Seriously, what's the point of dying for the sins of humanity if you can't have a drink every now and then without getting arrested?

"But Officer! It was water when I drank it! Honest!"

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2007/08/03/ddn080307policeblotter.html

What the hell is America coming to? Don't they fear God any more? Seriously, what's the point of dying for the sins of humanity if you can't have a drink every now and then without getting arrested?

Wasn't JC an only child?

EDIT: Oh, and happy 4,000th for me.

Wasn't JC an only child?

Nope. He was just the firstborn. *nod*

He has a brother named Jerry Christ that became a plumber. *nod*

this is just the most recent of his crimes

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28817

Nope. He was just the firstborn. *nod*

He has a brother named Jerry Christ that became a plumber. *nod*

AHAH!

So Mario and Luigi are descendants of Jesus Christ, which is why they have their cool super powers!

AHAH!

So Mario and Luigi are descendants of Jesus Christ, which is why they have their cool super powers!

SOme of them. The rest they just think they have after eating those mushrooms. *nod*

Wasn't JC an only child?

No.

SOme of them. The rest they just think they have after eating those mushrooms. *nod*

I dunno...they could turn drug shrooms into shrroms they can use. Jesus Christ had some really neat powers...

I dunno...they could turn drug shrooms into shrroms they can use. Jesus Christ had some really neat powers...

You mean, he had good revisionist press.
*nods emphatically*
KY, you should frequent the black hole thread again. *again, nods emphatically*

KY, you should frequent the black hole thread again. *again, nods emphatically*
The best I could offer is "Oh, neat!" type comments. I'm hardly a physicist. I think I'll just watch and let the scientists do their thing.

No.

Nope. He was just the firstborn. *nod*

He has a brother named Jerry Christ that became a plumber. *nod*

Cool.

The best I could offer is "Oh, neat!" type comments. I'm hardly a physicist. I think I'll just watch and let the scientists do their thing.

Every cognitive compression has a positive benefit.
Admittedly, there's a lot of other sideeffects ... :D

"But Officer! It was water when I drank it! Honest!"

LG...once again, you made me look like a lunatic in this library.

Thanks!

Seriously...just died laughing at the simplicity of this joke you made...

Nope. He was just the firstborn. *nod*

He has a brother named Jerry Christ that became a plumber. *nod*

I thought it was Creig Christ

I thought it was Creig Christ

What about Sister Anastasia Christ?



EDIT: *link obscured for some reason*

this is just the most recent of his crimes

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28817

Oh man. I love The Onion so much. :p

Wasn't JC an only child?

Only if you're Catholic.

The Protestant Jesus probably had like ten siblings.

Only if you're Catholic.

The Protestant Jesus probably had like ten siblings.

The number ranges from 0 to 8 depending on the account and translation.

Here's part of the explanation for the differences.

Different Christians also have different interpretations of Jesus' family members mentioned in Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3.[1] Eastern Christianity, following Eusebius, believes that they were "Joseph's children by his (unrecorded) first wife." Roman Catholicism, following Mark 15:40, Mark 16:1, John 19:25 and Jude 1 believes with Jerome that they were Jesus' cousins, sons of Mary, the wife of Cleopas, which the Greek word for "brother" or "relative" used in the Gospels would encompass. Following Hegesippus (about 150), quoted by Eusebius (Ecclesiastical History 3, 11), Clopas is the brother of Joseph, and Simon is the cousin of Jesus. Both beliefs agree with the tradition that Mary remained a perpetual virgin,[2] thus having no biological children before or after Jesus. While such notable reformers as Luther, Calvin, and Zwingli as well as the 18th Century evangelist Wesley affirmed the perpetual virginity of Mary, most Protestants today believe that these family members were the biological children of Mary and Joseph.[3]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desposyni

The number ranges from 0 to 8 depending on the account and translation.

Here's part of the explanation for the differences.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desposyni

Note: You don't hear the name "Clopas" used much anymore.

this is just the most recent of his crimes

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28817

That's sickening that people are making jokes out of that - ffs, some psycho killed two people and shot at several others. And for anyone wondering, Christ would not shoot people (life is precious, turn the other cheek, love thy neighbour, etc etc etc)

The number ranges from 0 to 8 depending on the account and translation.

Here's part of the explanation for the differences.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desposyni

*whisper*
Hey dude, you said that out loud. Yep, look, it's there on the page.

You should run back in and yell something completely crazy, because that post has a tendency to look ... sorry, but this has to be said ... serious.

You did read the link, didn't ya?
*/whisper*

That's sickening that people are making jokes out of that - ffs, some psycho killed two people and shot at several others. And for anyone wondering, Christ would not shoot people (life is precious, turn the other cheek, love thy neighbour, etc etc etc)

That was the old Jesus. They didn't have guns then.

Though my dero detector tells me this particular jesus is more the happy kind of drunk. It even sounds like the cop tried to be nice about it, but mr. gorblimey jesus was just too silly to be left out on the street ;)

That was the old Jesus. They didn't have guns then.

Though my dero detector tells me this particular jesus is more the happy kind of drunk. It even sounds like the cop tried to be nice about it, but mr. gorblimey jesus was just too silly to be left out on the street ;)

They had other weapons, and if Jesus could cast out demons and bring people back to life, theoretically He could kill people - but the thought would never occur to Him

Jesus throws the best keg parties.

Only if you're Catholic.

The Protestant Jesus probably had like ten siblings.

Heh. Ok.

"But Officer! It was water when I drank it! Honest!"

:D

Nice.