NationStates Jolt Archive

So, its the night before my fathers THIRD marriage, and I am the best man and such. I was sitting there, listening to them recite the vows, and they both said "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit" which perked my ears. Right after the practice, they went on to talk about alcohol, and getting drunk, and it made me sick to my stomach, so I left with out a word.

-sigh- Furthermore, I don't think they should be getting married anyways, as I have my reservations about her intentions(I think she is in it because my dad is about to get a huge settlement from a lawsuit). Not only that, but as it is my father's third marriage, I'd at least hope they'd have gone to a counselor first, to sort anything out. I want my dad to be happy, but I don't think its time for him to get married right yet. I mean, what should I do, just be silent, and let him get married tomorrow? I feel if I speak up, then I'll be doing it because of selfish reasons.

Also, anyone got ideas for a toast speech? :p

Wish them the best.

There are reasons beyond our control why marriage might fail. Even if it seems obvious, there may be reasons that you were not aware of.

Successful marriage comes from the will of the two parties. Support from closed loved ones give the marriage that extra support when the hurricane blows in.

"Here's to my Dad's Lawyer and the skillful pre-nup he wrote!"

:: Waves of cheers and applause from the men in the room ::

:cool:


Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Folks considering marriage should live together at LEAST a year (proper inital handfasting anyone?) , preferably 2-3 years. By that time you will have determined that A) you cannot change another human being and B) if you can live with them forever more as they are. If at the end of a year or three, you decide that you just can't stand his snoring/football watching or her nagging about (insert random nagging topic), you can possibly part ways amicably, and definatly part ways without lifelong financial obligations.

my condolences.

you can gently ask your dad if he is sure but there is no sense going farther than that. he wont listen. its too late to talk to him about a pre-nup but if you know a lawyer you can talk to for free, you can maybe find out if his settlement will not be community property (for when they get divorced)

its good of you to be participating at all. maybe a nice toast on the capacity of people to love, to take a risk and to hope for a good future.

Eh. My dad's been married even more often than that. Makes no difference to me. He doesn't care whether or not she's interested in money, or isn't, or doesn't care either way. Past a certain age, a lot of people start valuing things besides money, especially if they've been married many times. Marriage seems to be something of an addiction. :p

my sister is her husband's 4th wife. they have been married 24 years. you never know when its going to work out.

Good call - I've seen that happen a few times as well. :)

"Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times..."

my sister is her husband's 4th wife. they have been married 24 years. you never know when its going to work out.

I'd start the speech by pointing out that Oscar Wilde defined marriage as the triumph of hope over experience. :headbang: I'm sure you can take it from there. Just remember, they are both adults, and it's not your responsibility. Being supportive now when he thinks he doesnt need it, will give you greater options to be supportive in the future when perhaps he really does. Give yourself a break by detaching your self-esteem and emotional well being from the outcome. Blessed Be.

Blah blah blah.

Get a blog.

Blah blah blah.

Get a blog.
:upyours:

There are questions to be answered, its not just me ranting, therefore not a blog. Poop head.

Best man speeches are great. First, you have to be totally sloshed. Then you sorta make some non-funny joke that everyone laughs at mostly because you're drunk, not because of the content (which you forget the next day anyway). Then look at the couple and say something sappy and romantic and get all emotional. Sit back, have some more drinks.

At least that's what I did. My sister's first wedding.

my husband's father has been married to my husband's step mom for 17 years, it's his 6th wife.

You never know when it's going to stick.

I hear from hubby and assorted family that they were sure she was up to no good as well. (of course we all love her now)

As far as the toast something cheesy yet heartfelt should work, try the verse from 2 Corinthians about love and then wing it from there. *nod*

:upyours:

There are questions to be answered, its not just me ranting, therefore not a blog. Poop head.

Now you're just being childish.

Now you're just being childish.

so do you hate him now? ;)

so do you hate him now? ;)

Haha!

Haha!

I love you Fass. http://209.85.12.231/11055/49/emo/wub.gif

so do you hate him now? ;)

I hated him before for different reasons. This just gives me yet one more other to add to the list. :p

I hated him before for different reasons. This just gives me yet one more other to add to the list. :p

You hate me? :eek:

I hated him before for different reasons. This just gives me yet one more other to add to the list. :p

it's not nice to hate people. :(

This thread is evidence toward how marriage produces hatred.

Therefore, marriage should be outlawed!

You hate me? :eek:

I don't like you either. It's probably my fault for having such high standards though. ;)

This thread is evidence toward how marriage produces hatred.

I don't like you either. It's probably my fault for having such high standards though. ;)

wow. I think i might go drive my car off a bridge. kthxbi

wow. I think i might go drive my car off a bridge. kthxbi

You probably shouldn't do that. You have worth and such, and I don't hate you meaning if you were really going to hurt yourself I would try to stop you instead of encourage you.

Besides, I don't like a lot of people, it's not really any kind of bearing on what type of person you are.......mostly it means you aren't my husband or my children because they are really the only ones I do like most days.

wow. I think i might go drive my car off a bridge. kthxbi

you selfish bastard!

your dad is getting married tomorrow, you cant kill yourself tonight.

I love you Fass. http://209.85.12.231/11055/49/emo/wub.gif

Now, that's just creepy.

Now, that's just creepy.

I would totally marry you if it wouldn't ruin you for life.....I need you to be not suicidal.

I would totally marry you if it wouldn't ruin you for life.....I need you to be not suicidal.

You shouldn't worry about that ever. I've dealt with far more Christian people than you.

I would only get married for the marriage ceremony. Otherwise combining love and litigation is like combining matter and anti-matter.

I would only get married for the marriage ceremony. Otherwise combining love and litigation is like combining matter and anti-matter.

dont you watch tv court shows? getting married is the easier way to deal with a messy break up. avoiding marriage doesnt keep you out of court.

avoiding marriage doesnt keep you out of court.

I never said that, I said marriage forces you into a contract with someone else. If you love someone you don't need a contract to stay with them. It just seems incredibly pointless aside from the state sponsored benefits of marriage, which is a another can of worms I'd care not to open.

I never said that, I said marriage forces you into a contract with someone else. If you love someone you don't need a contract to stay with them. It just seems incredibly pointless aside from the state sponsored benefits of marriage, which is a another can of worms I'd care not to open.

yeah but if you live with someone and especially if you co-mingle your funds, you will have a terrible time extricating yourself fairly.

youre the one who mentioned litigation.

youre the one who mentioned litigation.

I fail to see the benefits of marriage as opposed to just being a couple. To make allies of political opponents, sure. To get a piece of paper and a ring, not so much.

But to quote Draiqshire:

well theres the crux of the matter: people are superficial morons.

For all the people who feel the need to raise themselves above other couples, marriage is the answer.

You hate me? :eek:

Well, in the sense that you've started threads and written posts that have raised my ire. I do not hold you any more contemptuously than I do others, which is to say, I generally hate people check that; humanity to begin with.

it's not nice to hate people. :(

I believe we have previously established in numerous occasions that I am not a nice person in the first place. *nods*

I fail to see the benefits of marriage as opposed to just being a couple. To make allies of political opponents, sure. To get a piece of paper and a ring, not so much.

But to quote Draiqshire:



For all the people who feel the need to raise themselves above other couples, marriage is the answer.

it depends on whether or not you are in a long term relationship and plan to make sacrifices for the benefit of the other person.

if you dont live together, dont have children, dont build a life together, there is no reason to get married.

if you buy a home, help your partner through college, move to another city so that she can take a big promotion, you might appreciate some legal protection of those sacrifices.

This thread is evidence toward how marriage produces hatred.

Hatred leads to the Dark Side. *nods*

So, perhaps, marriage is just an undercover initiation into the Sith....

Hatred leads to the Dark Side. *nods*

So, perhaps, marriage is just an undercover initiation into the Sith....

Well, I heard my GF's sister WAS shooting lightning from her fingertips after her 4th divorce. :eek:

Hatred leads to the Dark Side. *nods*

So, perhaps, marriage is just an undercover initiation into the Sith....

All shall worship The Dark Lord.

there exist, a rather small percentage, but they do, inhierently monogamous species in nature. humanity just does not happen to be one of them.

emotional security is what the concept of merrage purports to solve.
even though a culture built arround it actually contributes to the insecurities it is intended to resolve.

a healtier alternative, only moderately more complex, would be group merrages incorporating partners of both genders, not arbitrarily limited in number, but requiring the consences of all other partners to it, and built arround one or more shaired common interests.

also an undeamonizing of sexual gratification outside of merrage, with certain reasonable caveats, specificly to deal with and prevent the spread of disease and unwanted pregnancies.

let's face it: not everyone is born to be extroverted, and there is nothing healthy about forcing those who are not to assume extroverted rolls. the same goes the other way arround too of course.

and has broader implications then merrage alone.

=^^=
.../\...

I never said that, I said marriage forces you into a contract with someone else. If you love someone you don't need a contract to stay with them. It just seems incredibly pointless aside from the state sponsored benefits of marriage, which is a another can of worms I'd care not to open.

Well now, those "state sponsored benefits" add up to quite a bit... though it's more the deductions rather than benefits. Aside from that there are the Federal aspects, insurance aspects, Job benefits (yes, some companies actually give more money/time off/insurance to married folks over single), death division aspects, and many more things.

And for some folks, it's simply the "We want to look right in the eyes of the community / our families" thing.