NationStates Jolt Archive

If you had to join the hordes of the undead, what would you choose to be? And why?

A Zombie. Because I'd hate to try remembering my lines if my brain was rotting.

If you had to join the hordes of the undead, what would you choose to be? And why?

... Vampire...

or Lich.

Reason: POWER!!!!

do werewolves count as undead? cuz being a werewolf would be cool.

do werewolves count as undead? cuz being a werewolf would be cool.

I don't think that'd count unless it were a zombie werewolf. I guess I'd count that as Other?

right, zombie werewolf it is then!

ill go for SAINT.

reason--living with god in paradise.

While a lich would be cool, I don't know if I'd want to be powered by pure evil...

Being a zombie wouldn't be too bad if there were a zombie apocalypse and the zombies won, but otherwise I think I'd get killed by either heroic individuals or the government. Plus I wouldn't be capable of any rational thought.

Vampires get plenty of powers, but depending on humans for sustenance would be bothersome, plus vampire hunters would suck, and they'd actively seek me out whether I did anything to them or not. I don't want to have to deal with the Buffys of the world.

Ghouls seem pretty useless.

But a mummy now... I think there's something to be said for a mummy. Nobody goes mummy-hunting, because mummies just chill in their tombs and fight off thieves and tomb-robbers. Apparently they retain enough intelligence to care about their property rights. And they get curses, right? Maybe just the threat of a curse to scare people away, but that's cool too. I could walk around and if anyone offended me I'd curse them (verbally at least). If they got offended by my cursing, I could say "Hey, I'm a mummy. Whaddaya expect?"

Do evil shapeshifting alien spiders in clown-form count?

http://static.flickr.com/63/193488625_676dd39404.jpg

Hmm... I don't think they'd be undead per se...

Do evil shapeshifting alien spiders in clown-form count?

Only for you. No one else.

Hello past-version of my father! ;) Remember me?

Vampire, by far. For one, all the other options require fairly gruesome methods of death. Except for Lich, I guess. But that brings me to the other point of vampies don't really need to give that much up. Sure, a bite on the neck, a little burnage in sunlight and a thirst for human blood...but they have an incredible sense of style *nod*.;)

Vampire, by far. For one, all the other options require fairly gruesome methods of death. Except for Lich, I guess. But that brings me to the other point of vampies don't really need to give that much up. Sure, a bite on the neck, a little burnage in sunlight and a thirst for human blood...but they have an incredible sense of style *nod*.;)

Hey now, mummies can die naturally, can't they?

Dracolich.

All the awesomeness of beign a Dragon without having to sleep or eat.

Vampire, I'm a night person! And vampires can have vampire G/F which don't look something that was dug up out of the ground.

Vampire, I'm a night person! And vampires can have vampire G/F which don't look something that was dug up out of the ground.

I'm gonna make love, even when I'm dead.
My body might get cold, but it's always hot in my bed.
Make love, don't be afraid.
Just because my heart ain't beating, doesn't mean you won't get laid!

Of course, the lack of blood generation could be a problem when it comes to relationships... those vampire romance novels conveniently ignore certain physiological issues like erectile dysfunction related to vampyric anemia. :p

If you wanna be a "romantically active" vampire you're gonna have to be draining a lot of human bodies to keep your circulatory system healthy.

Vampires get plenty of powers, but depending on humans for sustenance would be bothersome, plus vampire hunters would suck, and they'd actively seek me out whether I did anything to them or not. I don't want to have to deal with the Buffys of the world.

I dunno... if you can aquire it, you can feed off of animal blood.

then there is the fact that if you play your cards right, you can have your neighbors watch out for Vampire Hunters.

you don't have to be an Ebil Vampire...

Vampire, probably.

Of course, the lack of blood generation could be a problem when it comes to relationships... those vampire romance novels conveniently ignore certain physiological issues like erectile dysfunction related to vampyric anemia. :p

If you wanna be a "romantically active" vampire you're gonna have to be draining a lot of human bodies to keep your circulatory system healthy.

Some books speculate that the chemical additive in the saliva induces erotic responses in the victim (to keep the victim from running or fighting back once the bite is put on them.)

then again, would Viaga work if taken after a meal?

Some books speculate that the chemical additive in the saliva induces erotic responses in the victim (to keep the victim from running or fighting back once the bite is put on them.)

then again, would Viaga work if taken after a meal?

I guess if we're working off of Dracula as the model for vampires, that would make sense.

Still, I wouldn't want to be a vampire at the expense of others, nor have to deal with that eternal damnation, burning of crosses, ultra-violet sensitivity, garlic allergy... what else? Allergy to pure silver? Inability to cross running water? Plus I'd turn all pale and, if the fiction provides any clue, end up pretty gothy. Nothing against goths, but I'd rather avoid falling into that stereotype.

The only weakness a mummy really has (besides standard dismemberment) is fire, and that can be fixed... maybe some asbestos-treated wrappings?

Lich, 'cause if I'm going to be a walking corpse I want enough power to make mortals weep in horror at the mere mention of my name!

Braanz!

right, zombie werewolf it is then!
Exactly, Revenants rule.

Braanz!
If you're looking for braanz, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place, my friend.

I'd prefer to be a lich. All the perks of being a zombie, plus magic and the ability to spend eternity quietly performing pointless experiments in some forgotten tower.

Doesn't Marvel comics have a series in which all the Marvel superheroes are zombified?

I am a huge fan of zombies, but I got to say I would most certainly be a vampire. As long as I didn't have to be one of those new-age vampires that wears black make-up and dresses like Maralyn(sp?) Manson.

If you had to join the hordes of the undead, what would you choose to be? And why?

Vampire, no question.

...

Of course I'd be a realistic vampire, which is just an odd mutation of humanity that is extremely anemic and is able to utilize blood to gain iron nutrients, and thus would probably be a weaker person overall due to their anemia, but that's what I get for realism.

There are good liches in The Forgotten Realms. I'd be one of those.

Oh, lich for sure. Massive intelligence and the ability to case mind-bogglingly powerful spells...hell yeah. But I'd be the neutral kind, the ones that just want to be left alone and only attack pesky adventurers looking for my loot.

Horace of skara Brae (version 2) says hi.

Baykok- Flying Skeletons with giant warhammers and translucent blue skin.

Downside. Only can eat the liver of proclaimed warriors.

I like Ashmoria's choice best, but of the choices given in the poll, I went with Zombie, because, being a Christian, I already AM a zombie: a living soul and spirit inhabiting a dead body (Romans 8:10). If you don't know what I'm talking about, then do something you probably gasp at the thought of doing: GET THE BIBLE OFF YOUR BOOKSHELF (or out of the trash can as the case may be), DUST IT OFF, AND READ IT!

Romans 8:10: "And if Christ be in you, the BODY IS DEAD because of sin; but the SPIRIT IS LIFE because of righteousness." [emphases mine]

I'd proibably be neutral and hermitlike as a Dracolich as well...

...except when I go out and look for women who want me to *ahem* bone them...

Hey now, mummies can die naturally, can't they?

Yea, but they're still rotting corpses who've had all their organs removed. I'm still thinking vampire is the best bet. Depending on the mythos we're using, vampires may still be able to have sex, too, so it's just a matter of establishing what rules we're playing to decide if the vamp-peep is no longer working. If we're to assume that vampires can't become sexually aroused any more...well, then, I'd choose other.

Highlander is kind of undead? I mean, the dude's been stabbed like a million times. Or I'd have a really nifty painting made of me, but never do something stupid like looking at it. ;)

I know, technically not undeads, but following the rules strictly results in an eternity without sex...might as well just be a zombie at that point so at least I'm no longer intelligent enough to remember what I'm missing.

Oh, lich for sure. Massive intelligence and the ability to case mind-bogglingly powerful spells...hell yeah. But I'd be the neutral kind, the ones that just want to be left alone and only attack pesky adventurers looking for my loot.

I'd use my magic and intelligence to subtly help paladins and the like.:)

I'd proibably be neutral and hermitlike as a Dracolich as well...

...except when I go out and look for women who want me to *ahem* bone them...

Badabing!

ill go for SAINT.

reason--living with god in paradise.
What if, instead, you misread something and ended up a big floppy dog hanging out in the Alps with a cask of wine 'round your neck that you could never get open and get any for yourself?

Oh yeah, Joan d'Arc was sainted, right? After, of course, being horribly immolated.

But whatever, eh?
:)

I'd use my magic and intelligence to subtly help paladins and the like.:)

I'd help the good guys every so often too, especially since it would let them know I'm not evil and I'm not planning anything nefarious. Evil adventures just don't respect peace and quiet like the good-aligned adventurers.

I like Ashmoria's choice best, but of the choices given in the poll, I went with Zombie, because, being a Christian, I already AM a zombie: a living soul and spirit inhabiting a dead body (Romans 8:10). If you don't know what I'm talking about, then do something you probably gasp at the thought of doing: GET THE BIBLE OFF YOUR BOOKSHELF (or out of the trash can as the case may be), DUST IT OFF, AND READ IT!

Romans 8:10: "And if Christ be in you, the BODY IS DEAD because of sin; but the SPIRIT IS LIFE because of righteousness." [emphases mine]
See above.

I've got a bible, too, and a few concordance and cross-references ... i'll just pick a random passage ...

http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19a.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19b.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19c.html

Oh yeah, there's a few more instances worth note ....

http://thebricktestament.com/king_saul/god_commands_amalekite_genocide/1s15_02-03.html
http://thebricktestament.com/king_saul/god_commands_amalekite_genocide/1s15_02-03.html

http://thebricktestament.com/epistles_of_paul/instructions_for_women/1co11_06.html
http://thebricktestament.com/epistles_of_paul/instructions_for_women/1co11_06.html
http://thebricktestament.com/epistles_of_paul/instructions_for_women/1co14_35.html
http://thebricktestament.com/epistles_of_paul/instructions_for_women/1co14_34.html
http://thebricktestament.com/epistles_of_paul/instructions_for_women/ep05_22-23.html



Context, you know.

Inability to cross running water?

I remember a vampire quote once.

"Running water? Frightful stuff, but not as frightful as smelling like an unwashed barbarian"

See above.

I've got a bible, too, and a few concordance and cross-references ... i'll just pick a random passage ...

http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19a.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19b.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19c.html

Thank you for posting that.

I'd use my magic and intelligence to subtly help paladins and the like.:)

And watch their heads asplode once they realize that they're being helped by an undead wizard that is an anathema to their existence?

The one with the least decay, most autonomy, most consciousness and, oh, yeah, that undyingness thing: Vampirism.

Vampire, obviously.

WS 8, S 5, I 8, A 5, plus immune to Psychology, causes Fear!

Thank you for posting that.

Moi? Or Vetalia?
Vetalia rocks ... i'll defer. I'm just using dusty, arcane, insecure literature to use as an excuse to show Legos doing interesting things.

i think being a vampire would kick ass... drinking blood, changing into bats, never being able to see the beautiful light of day... oh wow, i'm getting all excited just thinking about it

Thank you for posting that.

You are totally and unregrettably welcome. Today has strangely changed into quite an entertaining experience, and i'm happy you're sharing it with me.

There's more, much more about that ... they cover slavery and rules of marriage, but what scant trace of taste i possess dictates that i don't put anything too flamey on .. even though there's some really good citations there.

*bows*

ghoul because no one has picked that yet, though i just did :)
other wise vampire

ghoul because no one has picked that yet :)
other wise vampire

What if you're ALREADY a ghoul, of sorts? *check my post history*
http://www.zombiereagan.com/street/portrait.jpg

What if you're ALREADY a ghoul, of sorts? *check my post history*
http://www.zombiereagan.com/street/portrait.jpg

good question

(is confused about the post history bit)

Mummies just don't get the respect that they used to. *sigh*

i know its sad:(

sweet time warp

You are totally and unregrettably welcome. Today has strangely changed into quite an entertaining experience, and i'm happy you're sharing it with me.

There's more, much more about that ... they cover slavery and rules of marriage, but what scant trace of taste i possess dictates that i don't put anything too flamey on .. even though there's some really good citations there.

*bows*

The Brick Testament is funny, but I remember following up some of their citations when I first read through them, and found them to be inaccurate. Still a clever idea, and I really appreciate the little visual jokes they manage to throw in there.

ghoul because no one has picked that yet, though i just did :)
other wise vampire

Mummies just don't get the respect that they used to. *sigh*

(is confused about the post history bit)
I have some ghoulish posting tendencies. At times not for the fragile of heart, mind, and/or soul.

...and sometimes they're just sophomoric.

The Brick Testament is funny, but I remember following up some of their citations when I first read through them, and found them to be inaccurate. Still a clever idea, and I really appreciate the little visual jokes they manage to throw in there.

Like what the husband and wife should do, in turn, for eachother? Classic. :)
I started with the Judges 1:19, of course, because *every* cross-concordance and such has to deal with the same meaning, context, and result.
The rest was just window dressing. :D

I'd be a Thud.
If they don't count, then I'dn't want to be an undead, so many drawbacks.
If you don't know what a Thud is, do a google search on firethud (no spaces)
If you don't get anything helpful, there must be a problem with Google.:headbang:

If you don't get anything helpful, there must be a problem with Google.:headbang:

Sooooooooooooooooooooo sigworthy.

I'd be a Thud.
If they don't count, then I'dn't want to be an undead, so many drawbacks.
If you don't know what a Thud is, do a google search on firethud (no spaces)
If you don't get anything helpful, there must be a problem with Google.:headbang:

Hm... must be something wrong with google, then. You'll have to enlighten me as to what a Thud is...

I guess the point of the survey is to pick the type of undead that you feel has the least drawbacks, relatively speaking, if you don't think that any of them have desirable qualities otherwise.

so far it seems like a competition between the D&D nerds who pick Lich and the vampire geeks who pick vampire. (I use both those terms, nerd and geek, affectionately, by the way.)

Or is a Thud the F-105 Thunderchief?

Vampire for sure. Vampires get lots of chicks.

Zombie would be a close second.

What do we want? BRAAAAAAINS! When do we want 'em? BRAAAAAAINS!

Ghoul: One word--stench.

Lich: Prolonging your life indefinitely & wielding enough power to light California for 4.5 seconds? Where do I sign up?

Mummy: Too much of a homebody. C'mon, even the evil undead need fresh air!

Vampire: Not as powerful as a lich, but way sexier.

Zombie: Stupid, clumsy, acting only on base instinct--in short, not much different from a lot of the living.

Other: I've never heard of that one. Is it in the Monster Manual?

My path is clear: I would seek vampirism.

Other: I've never heard of that one. Is it in the Monster Manual?


Might be in the Book of the Dead. Let's see... other... animated skeletons come to mind.

Ghoul: One word--stench.Yep, like i'd said about me earlier.

Lich: Prolonging your life indefinitely & wielding enough power to light California for 4.5 seconds? Where do I sign up?Since you put it that way ... of course, that's if i HAD to choose.

Mummy: Too much of a homebody. C'mon, even the evil undead need fresh air!Yes, but they're dressed for any occasion.

Vampire: Not as powerful as a lich, but way sexier.This is sexier?
http://www.parmaq.com/kitbuilding/Images/Nosferatu2.jpg

Zombie: Stupid, clumsy, acting only on base instinct--in short, not much different from a lot of the living.Too, TOO true. *nods*

This is sexier?
http://www.parmaq.com/kitbuilding/Images/Nosferatu2.jpg


Oh yeah. Oh baby.

Oh yeah. Oh baby.

See, THAT is an *excellent* (steeples fingers) example of "ghoulish".

The freakiest part? The guy who played Nosferatu wasn't even wearing make-up.

The freakiest part? The guy who played Nosferatu wasn't even wearing make-up.

I'd actually heard that somewhere, probably cable.
*sighs*

Maybe he was a good lover nonetheless?

Ho Ho Ho!:D
A Thud is something non-existent, that when mentioned, causes people to believe that Google has crashed.:headbang:
Alternatively, a Thud is what you get when you give an ant a maul.:D
Gull ya later!:D

Far out, man.
o.0

Ghoul. Nothing quite beats a stroll through the cemetary on a foggy night, digging up and eating corpses.

Toss up twixt Lich and Vampire. Lich just barely wins out, if you can keep enough Gentle Reposes going. I wish they'd release a new ruling that Liches can recreate their Phylactery if it's broken, like Koschei the Deathless.

Lich. To be more accurate, Demi-Lich.

Toss up twixt Lich and Vampire. Lich just barely wins out, if you can keep enough Gentle Reposes going. I wish they'd release a new ruling that Liches can recreate their Phylactery if it's broken, like Koschei the Deathless.

Just make your phylactery look incredibly mundane and have a huge ornate fake sitting around.

I think if I were an animated skeleton I would put on a top hat, carry a cane, and pretty much never stop tap-dancing.

Whoops... I forgot to include Frankenstein-like reanimated corpses in the questionnaire. Anybody have anything to say about them?

Lich won out for me.

Vampires are cool and all, but they are relatively easy to defeat, if you catch them in the day and stake 'em and whatnot.

Liches on the other hand aren't as sexy, but in the end, I'm more interested in power than I am in women. What with their incredible amounts of power and ability to raise armies of the undead, plus, if you play your cards right, they are incredibly difficult to kill, resulting in virtual immortality, they are definently the best undead creature I can think of.

Or does a god in a polytheistic pantheon that rules over the dead count... hmmm....

If so, that's what I'd be, what with the literal, as opposed to virtual, immortality.

The only problem with being undead is teh sex.

Vampires and sex?... oh come on, you'd have to concentrate just enough to pump blood where you need to instead of actually enjoying it. It's become more work than fun which defeats the purpose.

So Lich it is,... if you're gonna be sexless for all eternity, atleast you can still walk under the sun and still have the cognitive skills to enjoy a movie or read a book.

Whoops... I forgot to include Frankenstein-like reanimated corpses in the questionnaire. Anybody have anything to say about them?

Uhm, THEY make good lovers?
...or can be MADE to make good lovers?

Uhm, THEY make good lovers?
...or can be MADE to make good lovers?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici...














... pation!

lol, nice. Does Rocky count as undead?

Lich won out for me.

Vampires are cool and all, but they are relatively easy to defeat, if you catch them in the day and stake 'em and whatnot.

Liches on the other hand aren't as sexy, but in the end, I'm more interested in power than I am in women. What with their incredible amounts of power and ability to raise armies of the undead, plus, if you play your cards right, they are incredibly difficult to kill, resulting in virtual immortality, they are definently the best undead creature I can think of.


Also, liches can always use that good ol' 4-th level Alteration spell called "polymorph self"... you know, just for formal dinners, attending to soirees, and hanging around with the ladies.

Between Lich, and vampire, I would have to choose Lich. I mean, vampire is cool, and its got alot of cool personal power, like if someone made fun of your shoes, you would rip them in half, but the lich has epic power. He would go home, spread a plague (ahem) o'er the land, raise a horde of zombies, send them after said person, who would hopefully capture him (or her), and whereupon the Lich could dissect their brain, while keeping them alive.:D. Oh and I wouldn't be one of those pansy, help the good guy Lichs. Nope, I'de be the good ol' kind of evil, reign of terror Lich.

Hmm... thinking about the original question, however, if you're being forced to join the hordes of the undead, perhaps that implies that, as a lich, someone else would have your phylactery in their possession, perhaps in order to control you.

Would that change anyone's opinion? Would you still be a lich hoping you could somehow get the phylactery back (and perhaps inflict sweet sweet vengeance on those who would control your unearthly powers)?

Vampire, definitely. Not a Nosferatu type, though, I'm vain enought that I would want to maintain my human (relatively) appearance.

Whoops... I forgot to include Frankenstein-like reanimated corpses in the questionnaire. Anybody have anything to say about them?

They're considered Flesh Golems(healed by lightning, hurt by fire):D

Phylactery still bugs me. It has to be ornate(look at the cost of the damn thing!), while still looking plain. Maybe get that "does not radiate magic" aura placed on them.

Vampire would be pretty cool, I think I'll go with that.

Lich! Can't see much downside in it, especially with polymorph-self.

Would you still be a lich hoping you could somehow get the phylactery back (and perhaps inflict sweet sweet vengeance on those who would control your unearthly powers)?Yep. Easy enough to just kill 'em with a single quick blast, and then hunt through their stuff for the phylactery.

Fergi America;12929805']
Yep. Easy enough to just kill 'em with a single quick blast, and then hunt through their stuff for the phylactery.

What if it's connected to a dead man switch?

Teleportation magic?

Also, I read this thread title today as "Best Undead Circumcisions."

Oh my, I just read the thread title as 'Best Undead Circumcisions'... uh... Just thought I'd share that with you. I'll just be leaving now before my brain implodes.

Vampire. Most normal-looking, and I can live on animal blood.

Actually, change my vote to Other: Deathless. Not technically undead, but I look the part, and then I unleash HOLY WRATH.

Vampire. Most normal-looking, and I can live on animal blood.

Actually, change my vote to Other: Deathless. Not technically undead, but I look the part, and then I unleash HOLY WRATH.Screw animal blood. I don't want to have breath that smells like a dog.

I'd be a vampire geneticist and splice bacterial/fungi DNA with human DNA to create some screwed up bacteria/fungus that produces human blood as a by-product of its existence.

Fergi America;12929805']Lich! Can't see much downside in it, especially with polymorph-self.

Would you still be a lich hoping you could somehow get the phylactery back (and perhaps inflict sweet sweet vengeance on those who would control your unearthly powers)?

Yep. Easy enough to just kill 'em with a single quick blast, and then hunt through their stuff for the phylactery.

What if your captor was also a lich (and a more powerful one at that, since you'd be new to the whole undead business)?

Oh my, I just read the thread title as 'Best Undead Circumcisions'... uh... Just thought I'd share that with you. I'll just be leaving now before my brain implodes.

Huh. I can't think of any way to respond to that.

lol, nice. Does Rocky count as undead?

That's a good question!

I think, by the end, he wasn't.