NationStates Jolt Archive

Normally I'm annoyed as hell at threads asking stupid questions about "Why do women do X?" or "How come men are Y?"

Well, brace for incoming hypocrisy...

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

WHY?!

Look, we all gotta go to the bathroom. I'm okay with that. It's normal and natural and all that jazz. But I don't particularly want to get close to somebody while they're emptying their nethers.

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this?

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

They're in there masturbating, thinking about you.

That's why the stall next to you, and why it's taking so long.
...


...


you tease...

Normally I'm annoyed as hell at threads asking stupid questions about "Why do women do X?" or "How come men are Y?"

Well, brace for incoming hypocrisy...

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

WHY?!

Look, we all gotta go to the bathroom. I'm okay with that. It's normal and natural and all that jazz. But I don't particularly want to get close to somebody while they're emptying their nethers.

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this?

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

They're in there masturbating, thinking about you.

That's why the stall next to you, and why it's taking so long.

...


...


you tease...

Are you suuuuuure? :D

I've often wondered the same thing too...

Why the hell does it take our sex so long to use the friggin' toilet?

I mean, I know it can take a little longer then men because we sit, stand and maybe have to change our tampons/pads, but sometimes, it's just crazy the wait. 40-45 seconds tops. I can be in and out in 30 on a good day.

Perhaps all the other stalls are out of toilet paper/poorly maintained?

Usually when I use a public bathroom about half the stalls are unusable for one reason or another.

I also don't know that I've seen someone spend 20 mins in the bathroom before... well, except one time at work when some lady had to bring her kids in with her because her son puked on himself... she spent a while cleaning him up.
Although it's possible that someone's taking a while 'cause they're taking a dump and trying to wipe themselves with the 1-ply that's in the bathroom. Or if they're like my sister and build toilet paper nests on the seat before using the facilities.

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

Whaa? o_O

Do you live in some kind of parallel universe? I've never had that happen.

Bottle, I don't know how to break it to you, but you are delightfully unusual and thoughtful in the world of PEOPLE, nevermind the world of women.

I understand your point, though. In my public loo experience, men do whatever they can to AVOID being in the next stall/urinal from one that is occupied.

As for the length of time (puts on fireproof suit and titanium codpiece), is it "powdering their noses" -- y'know, vanity? Though they do tend to hit the head in twos, so perhaps the previously-suggested masturbation theory isn't far off...a little break in the name of Sappho?

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this?
Because, unlike for men, there isn't a well-known and commonly adhered to toilet-selection algorithm for women.

...Or possibly you just never notice when they don't. Or people like to cluster together for warmth. Or something.

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?
Be glad I'm not a woman :p

Perhaps all the other stalls are out of toilet paper/poorly maintained?

Usually when I use a public bathroom about half the stalls are unusable for one reason or another.

That's a good notion, but I know it's not the case where I work. (I work in a medical center, so they keep the bathrooms very clean out of necessity.)


I also don't know that I've seen someone spend 20 mins in the bathroom before... well, except one time at work when some lady had to bring her kids in with her because her son puked on himself... she spent a while cleaning him up.
See, and I totally give women space if that's the case. I see moms bring their kids into the bathroom, and I totally don't blame them for taking a long time. I used to have to help dress my kid brother in the morning, so I know how freaking impossible it can be just to get a pair of pants onto a 3 year old.

There aren't any mirrors in the stalls and I think she's talking about time spent in the stall itself.

Ah. I missed that. Apologies.

Well, I know that most men will avoid adjacency if they can. The last thing any man wants is for the guy next to him to think he's "checkin' him out" or something equally irrational and homophobic.

As for the length of time (puts on fireproof suit and titanium codpiece), is it "powdering their noses" -- y'know, vanity? Though they do tend to hit the head in twos, so perhaps the previously-suggested masturbation theory isn't far off...a little break in the name of Sappho?
There aren't any mirrors in the stalls and I think she's talking about time spent in the stall itself.

Whaa? o_O

Do you live in some kind of parallel universe? I've never had that happen.
I've seriously been running an experiment on this at my work place. I noticed that women kept choosing the stall next to mine, and it was honestly happening just about every time I went.

So I thought, "Hmm. I tend to choose the stall farther from the door. Maybe everybody shares my tendency, so they're just picking the available stall furthest from the door!" I tried picking the stall closest to the door. No change.

Next, I thought, "Maybe there are 'good stalls' and 'bad stalls' in the bathroom, and they always happen to be the ones next to the stall I'm choosing!" So I rotated the stall I selected, using a different one each time I went. Again, 9 times out of 10 any woman entering the bathroom after me would choose a stall next to me.

There does not appear to be any correlation with age, ethnicity, or occupation. Members of the janitorial staff are just as likely to do this as med students or professors.

I'm totally at a loss, at this point.

From my observations women use the herd mentality. Maybe an instinctive safety in numbers bit held over from days gone by. Men typically fly solo probably for the same reasons. So a woman sitting next to another woman in a stall that has 10 others just as good makes sense. They just want to stay close and feel comforted and protected even if it is a stranger. Just a guess.... :p

Although it's possible that someone's taking a while 'cause they're taking a dump and trying to wipe themselves with the 1-ply that's in the bathroom. Or if they're like my sister and build toilet paper nests on the seat before using the facilities.


That is pretty much what I think the holdup is.

That said, there are only two stalls in the teachers' room -- ;) I have no choice but to sit next to someone... but yeah, if I'm at a rest stop, I'll walk ALLLLLLLL the way to the end to grab a stall that's more isolated.

That is pretty much what I think the holdup is.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.

That's a good notion, but I know it's not the case where I work. (I work in a medical center, so they keep the bathrooms very clean out of necessity.)
That doesn't rule out the lack of toilet paper though.
Perhaps you pick a popular stall? I remember reading somewhere that either the first stall closest to the door or the one that's furthest are the most popular (I forget which), so perhaps someone upon seeing the most popular stall taken will take the one closest to it.

Perhaps you pick a popular stall? I remember reading somewhere that either the first stall closest to the door or the one that's furthest are the most popular (I forget which), so perhaps someone upon seeing the most popular stall taken will take the one closest to it.
I think I read that to! That's what my little "experiment" has been testing. So far, no luck...

Perhaps the sound of you tinkling helps them tinkle, and the help is directly proportional to how close they are?
But I have performance anxiety!

STOP LISTENING TO MY TINKLES!

Perhaps the sound of you tinkling helps them tinkle, and the help is directly proportional to how close they are?

Normally I'm annoyed as hell at threads asking stupid questions about "Why do women do X?" or "How come men are Y?"

Well, brace for incoming hypocrisy...

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

WHY?!

Look, we all gotta go to the bathroom. I'm okay with that. It's normal and natural and all that jazz. But I don't particularly want to get close to somebody while they're emptying their nethers.

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this?

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

Aren't you supposed to know that?

But I have performance anxiety!

STOP LISTENING TO MY TINKLES!

If you look at flowing water, or think/talk about peeing, it helps. They should have pictures of Niagara Falls at the urinals. Speaking of which, why don't women use urinals?

Aren't you supposed to know that?



Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

YES, dagnabbit!

YES, dagnabbit!

Hmph, it probably means you choose the closest stall to the door. Or maybe peopel aren't thinking about it.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.
The difference in frequency is largely dietary rather than gender specific. People who eat healthier diets high in fibre will tend to take regular dumps and those who eat diets low in fibre won't. Although there might be some hormonal difference that changes the frequency of some women's bowel movements during a certain time of the month (I read it in cosmo... I don't know how true it is).

Although men who are taking a dump will occupy the stalls so the men who are just going to urinate can go and do so freely at the urinal instead, meaning that the men taking a dump will be less noticable and cause less of an interruption in the flow of bathroom traffic than women who are doing the same.

I've seriously been running an experiment on this at my work place. I noticed that women kept choosing the stall next to mine, and it was honestly happening just about every time I went.

So I thought, "Hmm. I tend to choose the stall farther from the door. Maybe everybody shares my tendency, so they're just picking the available stall furthest from the door!" I tried picking the stall closest to the door. No change.

Next, I thought, "Maybe there are 'good stalls' and 'bad stalls' in the bathroom, and they always happen to be the ones next to the stall I'm choosing!" So I rotated the stall I selected, using a different one each time I went. Again, 9 times out of 10 any woman entering the bathroom after me would choose a stall next to me.

There does not appear to be any correlation with age, ethnicity, or occupation. Members of the janitorial staff are just as likely to do this as med students or professors.

I'm totally at a loss, at this point.


Maybe your pheromones/cologne/shampoo smell extra yummy.

Herd instinct?

Like, the closer one is to the next one in a situation where one's not really ready for escape, the safer one feels?

But that's just an estimated guess.

It's the exact opposite for guys from what I've experienced so far.

But I have performance anxiety!

STOP LISTENING TO MY TINKLES!
Do what my sister does: turn on the faucet before going to the bathroom.

She even does this at home 'cause she's a weirdo.


Personally, I went through a phase where I wouldn't pee in a public bathroom if there was only one other person in the bathroom unless they were making more noise than me peeing would produce.

maybe they choose the adjacent stall so that if there is an absence of bog roll discovered after they've started they can call over and get some passed under the partition. or something.

as for how long it takes to take a dump, i'd say it depends on the dump not the person. or rather, it depends on the last meal. maybe the staff at your med centre eat a lot of roughage, or maybe they eat a lot of chilli so the clean up time is longer.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.

I generally have to poo twice a day -- once in the am, once in the pm, because when I am teaching, there sometimes ISN'T enough time to use the bathroom during the day. And those two times (both at home, usually) I take my time.

Seriously -- when you have 45 minute periods with a five minute passing, and are scheduled for three classes in a row, the situation can be rather dire. ;) Nobody likes calling a colleague so you can run off for a pee break.

Speaking of which, why don't women use urinals?

The lack of a handy directional device leads to wet socks.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.

Well, as intriguing as the spare poop-chute theory might be, here's mine:

Women have an extra organ in the general bowel/bladder vicinity -- the uterus. Anything taking up extra space would naturally take that space from the more pliable local constructs, the bladder and bowels. I suppose one could compare relative time between effluvia for women who have and have not had hysterectomies (provided both samples have no bladder control problems) to see if that's true.

I generally have to poo twice a day -- once in the am, once in the pm, because when I am teaching, there sometimes ISN'T enough time to use the bathroom during the day. And those two times (both at home, usually) I take my time.

Seriously -- when you have 45 minute periods with a five minute passing, and are scheduled for three classes in a row, the situation can be rather dire. ;) Nobody likes calling a colleague so you can run off for a pee break.



The lack of a handy directional device leads to wet socks.

I heard that. Trying to conduct when one has a turtle-head pokin' out is...difficult.

Do what my sister does: turn on the faucet before going to the bathroom.

She even does this at home 'cause she's a weirdo.


Personally, I went through a phase where I wouldn't pee in a public bathroom if there was only one other person in the bathroom unless they were making more noise than me peeing would produce.

one of my ex-flatmates used to hum and sing on the toilet. it was pretty funny.

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

You probably had your fax off the day they sent out invitations.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.

It takes my brother about half an hour to go poo, and he does every day at around the same time every day. I go either every day or every other day, but it takes me less time than it does him.

It usually only takes me about a minute to go to the bathroom, unless I have to change a pad or something. It can take me a little bit longer if I think someone can hear me or something.

It usually only takes me about a minute to go to the bathroom, unless I have to change a pad or something. It can take me a little bit longer if I think someone can hear me or something.
This is part of why I switched to tampons... unwrapping them is really quiet so no one can hear it. Well, if you get ob ones that don't have applicators anyways, I can't speak for other brands and their wrappings.

I've seriously been running an experiment on this at my work place. I noticed that women kept choosing the stall next to mine, and it was honestly happening just about every time I went.

So I thought, "Hmm. I tend to choose the stall farther from the door. Maybe everybody shares my tendency, so they're just picking the available stall furthest from the door!" I tried picking the stall closest to the door. No change.

Next, I thought, "Maybe there are 'good stalls' and 'bad stalls' in the bathroom, and they always happen to be the ones next to the stall I'm choosing!" So I rotated the stall I selected, using a different one each time I went. Again, 9 times out of 10 any woman entering the bathroom after me would choose a stall next to me.

There does not appear to be any correlation with age, ethnicity, or occupation. Members of the janitorial staff are just as likely to do this as med students or professors.

I'm totally at a loss, at this point.

You should right a book on bathroom tendencies of males and females, how they differ, how other cultures perform bathroom behavior, and the cultural signifigance of the bathroom behavior of the two sexes.

I would read it.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

1) Do women really go poo that often?

2) And do women go poo that much more often than men?

3) Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.
1) I don't know.

2) I don't know.

3) I really depends on how much I've eaten. I usually don't go more often than once a day, and then I'll take my time to get it all out my system.
There are, however, days where that routine doesn't apply. Without having the runs, the personal record lies at four times a day.

And I have good personal cleaning habits, thank you. The only real luxury I grant myself in addition to good TP are those moist cleaning tissues with camomile so my arse is happy.

And I'm happy I don't have a 2nd anus...

I've seriously been running an experiment on this at my work place. I noticed that women kept choosing the stall next to mine, and it was honestly happening just about every time I went.

So I thought, "Hmm. I tend to choose the stall farther from the door. Maybe everybody shares my tendency, so they're just picking the available stall furthest from the door!" I tried picking the stall closest to the door. No change.

Next, I thought, "Maybe there are 'good stalls' and 'bad stalls' in the bathroom, and they always happen to be the ones next to the stall I'm choosing!" So I rotated the stall I selected, using a different one each time I went. Again, 9 times out of 10 any woman entering the bathroom after me would choose a stall next to me.

There does not appear to be any correlation with age, ethnicity, or occupation. Members of the janitorial staff are just as likely to do this as med students or professors.

I'm totally at a loss, at this point.
How weird.

I always make sure to leave as many stalls between me and the next person as possible.

You should right a book on bathroom tendencies of males and females, how they differ, how other cultures perform bathroom behavior, and the cultural signifigance of the bathroom behavior of the two sexes.

I would read it.

And it should be printed on perforated pages -- two ply bath tissue -- so you could read it in the toilet. As you finish a chapter, RECYCLE IT! :D

And it should be printed on perforated pages -- two ply bath tissue -- so you could read it in the toilet. As you finish a chapter, RECYCLE IT! :D
I can picture this: "Damn, now I'm stuck here and need to read another chapter..."

Or "The End? What do you mean, the End?" *frantically looking for the 2nd issue of the book...*

It's the exact opposite for guys from what I'm experienced so far.This is true, unless the bathroom has gloryholes.

It takes my brother about half an hour to go poo, and he does every day at around the same time every day. I go either every day or every other day, but it takes me less time than it does him.

It usually only takes me about a minute to go to the bathroom, unless I have to change a pad or something. It can take me a little bit longer if I think someone can hear me or something.

He's masturbating.

I
The lack of a handy directional device leads to wet socks.

That can be arranged.
http://img484.imageshack.us/img484/9097/20030901104529gpu6.jpg
http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/7334/20030901104529afp6.jpg

I know someone who can't pee until someone else starts, so I guess if you get two of them side by side then really whatcha got is a Mexican standoff so to speak.

I don't know other than that, the toilet paper nest takes a while to build I suppose, I am more of a hover than a nester though......get it done and get out before the germs consume me, that's my plan. I do wash my hands for a good 45 seconds though......that part takes longer than the toilet part.

He's masturbating.

:eek: http://209.85.12.231/style_images/1/icon8.gif

I don't think so... :(

You should right a book on bathroom tendencies of males and females, how they differ, how other cultures perform bathroom behavior, and the cultural signifigance of the bathroom behavior of the two sexes.

I would read it.

She could be the Deborah Tannen of the bathroom!

maybe he has digestive issues.

I know he has OCD. I don't know if that would affect it or not.

:eek: http://209.85.12.231/style_images/1/icon8.gif

I don't think so... :(

No male spends a half hour in the bathroom unless he's whackin it.

:eek: http://209.85.12.231/style_images/1/icon8.gif

I don't think so... :(

maybe he has digestive issues.

I know he has OCD. I don't know if that would affect it or not.

Probably would. From the way you described his OCD, he might be wiping down the seat or something.

Probably would. From the way you described his OCD, he might be wiping down the seat or something.

I know that it definitely affects how long it takes him to dry off after a shower. He won't come out of the bathroom until his hair is perfectly dry, and he goes through a lot of soap.

This doesn't happen to men because we adhere to: Man Law.

Besides we're a simple and humble gender. We are devoid of personalities, compassion, and reason. Our instincts govern our every action. We survive on three things and three things alone: Food, Sex, and Violence. (Drugs, and Rock n' Roll optional.)

God I hate modern standup.

They want your hot bathroom love.

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!
Before reading the thread, I'd have offered the "last/first stall is the favorite, and if occupied, the one next to it" theory somebody else already voiced (I know this definitely applies to me, if I have the chance to choose between several usable stalls), but you appear to have refuted that one already.. maybe it's a pre-emptive strategy for if there happens to be no loo paper left, you can ask the woman in the stall next to you to hand you some from under the separation thingy? I have no idea.

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds.
I'll hop onto the mixed goodie bag of explanations bandwagon of
a) the need to build "loo paper nests" - I know plenty women who can't / don't want to hover
b) what you so nicely called "tinkling performance anxiety" - many people, including me, just plain old get pissing block whenever they are in a public loo /somewhere where others can hear them go. It can easily take me 30 seconds to be able to start, uh, releasing it when I think I'll be heard.
c) tampons, pads - you know.

Normally I'm annoyed as hell at threads asking stupid questions about "Why do women do X?" or "How come men are Y?"

Well, brace for incoming hypocrisy...

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

WHY?!

Look, we all gotta go to the bathroom. I'm okay with that. It's normal and natural and all that jazz. But I don't particularly want to get close to somebody while they're emptying their nethers.

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this?

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??

Well good thing you explained up front that you were going to be a hypocrite. Otherwise I might be forced to point out how you love to jump down other people's throats for just the ridiculous sweeping generalisations based on anecdotal evidence that you are making here. But clearly, no one can take umbrage with your post because hey, you're a woman! And only men get dissed for saying shit like this.

Well good thing you explained up front that you were going to be a hypocrite. Otherwise I might be forced to point out how you love to jump down other people's throats for just the ridiculous sweeping generalisations based on anecdotal evidence that you are making here. But clearly, no one can take umbrage with your post because hey, you're a woman! And only men get dissed for saying shit like this.

First bit of evidence that Bottle is really a guy.

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.


Fucking couch.


We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.


Fucking couch.


We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

But, but, what if those women get the vapors and swoon? Where would they land?

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.


Fucking couch.


We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

men have no use for a couch.

men have no use for a couch.

That is the most wrongest thing I have ever heard.

men have no use for a couch.

I would so use a couch. That would be my laying down couch.


What do women use the couch for?

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.


Fucking couch.


We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

The men's bathroom at a restaurant I've been to has a TV and the women's bathroom doesn't.

I would so use a couch. That would be my laying down couch.


What do women use the couch for?

Well to chat obviously, why do you think women always go the toilet in pairs?

Part of the reason women as a group take longer is because urinals take up less room than cubicles, so in a men's toilet there are more places to use the toilet, and that urinals are more time-efficient.

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.
Fucking couch.
We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

If you're thinking what I'm thinking (i.e. something not easily wipe-downable like plastic or something, which is rarely found on couches as far as I'm aware), then I'd much prefer not having that germ-catcher anywhere close to me, including the bathroom.. urgh.

I can't figure it either. It takes me a little longer than you - having to deal with purse, shopping bags, cleaning up after the pig who was in there before me, dealing with my arthritic knees which hinder my movements a little, but at that it never takes more than a couple of minutes.

I don't know why people go for stalls next to others, unless they want companionship. I prefer to be as far from others as possible.

My question is - why do people not clean up after themselves? I've gone into restrooms with feces and urine all over the toilets - ew.

That is the most wrongest thing I have ever heard.

wrongest? you use "words" like wrongest and you want to say that I am mistaken.

also, in all the couch bathrooms I have ever been in, I haven't ever seen one used, so I don't know what they are for.

I would so use a couch. That would be my laying down couch.

What do women use the couch for?

Hot lesbian sex.

wrongest? you use "words" like wrongest and you want to say that I am mistaken.

also, in all the couch bathrooms I have ever been in, I haven't ever seen one used, so I don't know what they are for.

I was being playful. :(

the carpenters song explains it all. they want to be "close to you"

I'm glad it is usually the opposite in the mens room especially with the urinals. it is a common courtesy / man law that you stay as far away from the others guys taking a piss as possible. we also tend to keep conversation in that room to a minimum. but there are a few that seem to not know of these unwritten laws.

What do women use the couch for?
Sitting on to breastfeed?

Sitting on to breastfeed?

changing diapers when the diaper thing is broke or just disgusting?

the carpenters song explains it all. they want to be "close to you"

I'm glad it is usually the opposite in the mens room especially with the urinals. it is a common courtesy / man law that you stay as far away from the others guys taking a piss as possible. we also tend to keep conversation in that room to a minimum. but there are a few that seem to not know of these unwritten laws.

i actually find them pretty strange, especially the one where if there's only one urinal left you have to go to the cubicle. cubicles are for shitting in or if there are no urinals left. and the no talking thing is just plain weird. what is it about toilets that require studied silence? i understand choosing urinals furthest apart because that's just common courtesy to give people space when there's some available but the rest is really OTT to me.

what is it about toilets that require studied silence?

most of my deepest thought have come from the bathroom. its concentration time:D

I know that it definitely affects how long it takes him to dry off after a shower. He won't come out of the bathroom until his hair is perfectly dry, and he goes through a lot of soap.

I could see why that happens.

Hot lesbian sex.

That's my assumption.

Sitting on to breastfeed?

Hm. No, I'm leaning towards lesbian sex.

The lack of a handy directional device leads to wet socks.

I could see that happen.

Because, unlike for men, there isn't a well-known and commonly adhered to toilet-selection algorithm for women.

...Or possibly you just never notice when they don't. Or people like to cluster together for warmth. Or something.


Be glad I'm not a woman :p

ROFL

I find that hilarious, and yet...disturbing to think about...

I don't know why women do that. I choose not to question it. Instead, I'll stick to my own realm of experience.

Men do it faster because um...they just do. Besides, they wanna get back to the game on the TV (assuming there's no TV in the restroom...I've seen that before.) If there's a TV...then the whole norm regarding men in restrooms is thrown out the window. Why leave and return to the talkative people who are distracting your attention on the game when you can simply sit where you're at, shit when you need, and enjoy the game?

I did once have a roommate that was rather odd. He kept overly cleaning himself. Showers would last as long as the hot water would be available. Sink surrounded by all kinds of stuff for "cleanliness" that I've never seen before, but somehow he had.

Me, I'm just as good with a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap.

Apparently, some people need additional help on the "scrubbing" detail, so they overdo it...

Sitting on to breastfeed?

Hm. No, I'm leaning towards lesbian sex.

Are the two mutually exclusive?

Are the two mutually exclusive?

0_o

Whilst we're on the subject, what is up with all the hovering? I can understand it in the gents, where some guy is likely to have pissed all over the seat. But in the ladies? Where all that has come into contact with the seat is a succession of derrières - the vast majority of which had a shower in the morning. Am I missing something here?

Normally I'm annoyed as hell at threads asking stupid questions about "Why do women do X?" or "How come men are Y?"

Well, brace for incoming hypocrisy...

Why, oh why, do women always choose the stall next to me in the bathroom?!

The bathroom is empty when I enter. I select a stall. There are a half dozen other unoccupied stalls, yet when another woman enters she immediately selects the stall directly adjacent to mine.

WHY?!because your charming personality and sparkling wit, and bubbling charisma just OOZES out of you and draws people to you like...

well, you can think of the approprite analogy.

Look, we all gotta go to the bathroom. I'm okay with that. It's normal and natural and all that jazz. But I don't particularly want to get close to somebody while they're emptying their nethers.

So why, why oh why oh why oh, do other women do this? at least you're in a stall with a door! imagine a urinal were it's less priavte.

And, while we're on the subject, how come it takes women like 20 minutes to use the bathroom? I've stood in line for a public bathroom I don't know how many times, and I can't figure out what the hold up is. Go in, drop trou, do business, clean up, pants on, DONE. Elapsed time = 42 seconds. So why does every other woman spend enough time in there to balance her checkbook?

Most importantly, how did I miss the meeting where these female behaviors are explained to us??no Idea really.

0_o

Whilst we're on the subject, what is up with all the hovering? I can understand it in the gents, where some guy is likely to have pissed all over the seat. But in the ladies? Where all that has come into contact with the seat is a succession of derrières - the vast majority of which had a shower in the morning. Am I missing something here?

That's only really neccessary in school bathrooms for me, and I usually just lean on one side of the toilet seat. There are often bugs, ketchup packets, food, and things like that there.

well, all of the public toilets around here are covered in piss, crap, or menstrual blood. I hover, or more often than that I just go to the mens room where it's cleaner.

Men hardly ever use the public toilets apparently because while the urinals are blech, the toilets are mostly always really clean.

Menstr... eew, never thought of that. Well, the gents round here tend to be covered in piss, or the remnants of last nights curry. I kinda assumed womens bathrooms would be cleaner because it would be harder to miss. Ah well.

0_o

Whilst we're on the subject, what is up with all the hovering? I can understand it in the gents, where some guy is likely to have pissed all over the seat. But in the ladies? Where all that has come into contact with the seat is a succession of derrières - the vast majority of which had a shower in the morning. Am I missing something here?

well, all of the public toilets around here are covered in piss, crap, or menstrual blood. I hover, or more often than that I just go to the mens room where it's cleaner.

Men hardly ever use the public toilets apparently because while the urinals are blech, the toilets are mostly always really clean.

Menstr... eew, never thought of that. Well, the gents round here tend to be covered in piss, or the remnants of last nights curry. I kinda assumed womens bathrooms would be cleaner because it would be harder to miss. Ah well.

I am not really sure what the problem is, but every women's bathroom I have ever been too (church excepted) has toilet paper all over the floor, I don't understand how women can't get "flush the toilet paper" I am afraid to go to those women's houses, like at random I will use the potty at a friends house and come into her personal home bathroom and see a mess like that.......it never happens, so I guess women do know how to put the toilet paper in the toilet, and for some reason they just don't in public :confused:

I am not really sure what the problem is, but every women's bathroom I have ever been too (church excepted) has toilet paper all over the floor, I don't understand how women can't get "flush the toilet paper" I am afraid to go to those women's houses, like at random I will use the potty at a friends house and come into her personal home bathroom and see a mess like that.......it never happens, so I guess women do know how to put the toilet paper in the toilet, and for some reason they just don't in public :confused:.. I think it might be that they put Toilet Paper on the seat. I've see... errr... heard that some women do that. so those on the floor fell off of the seat and not them missing the bowl.

as for men's bathrooms being cleaner... I've been to some men's bathrooms where the cleanest thing in the stall is the water in the bowl.

I mean, how drunk does one have to be to MISS the toilet doing a Number 2?

This thread made me fart.

I mean, how drunk does one have to be to MISS the toilet doing a Number 2?

Ugh, tell me about it. This one time at my supermarket, I went into the stall in the front end men's bathroom, and whaddya know, shit was all over the floor, on the walls, and on the toilet itself. There was also toilet paper littered with shit all over the floor.

I'm guessing that somebody was either drunk, blind, a dickhead, or just didn't care... Or all of the above.

This is true, unless the bathroom has gloryholes.
I can tell you this much - when I'm taking a dump and someone sticks a dick into the stall I'm in, that's the last time he'll have his dick attached to his body.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/CutThroat.gif
I always have a knife on me. And I bet the pecker will flush down nicely together with my poop.

Okay, then I've got to ask a somewhat gross question:

Do women really go poo that often?

And do women go poo that much more often than men?

Why do men not need to poo as much, or (alternatively) why doesn't it take men as long to go poo?

And please, if the answer is "Men have very bad personal cleaning habits," just lie to me and say it's because men have an extra anus or something. That would be less gross.

I've known a lot of men who won't go poo in a public bathroom. They'll hold it until they're about to burst if they have to - no pooing in a public bathroom. I haven't met many women like that, probably because we have to use the toilet no matter what excretory function we're utilizing.

The women's bathroom in my office has a couch.

Fucking couch.

We don't have a fucking couch in the men's room. The fuck's up with that shit.

In an office? I'm not sure. I've seen women's public bathrooms that have couches and/or comfortable seats in a comfy breastfeeding area, though.

I reckon it's a perceived pattern.

I don't really notice whether somebody is in the stall next door. What does it matter, it's not like a urinal where you can see the other person.

Waitaminute-- Bottle's a grrrl? All this while, I never knew. Anywho... to the topic at hand... the cleaners in the building where I work had another comment on women & bathrooms: that the womens' bathroom is always way messier and more disgusting than the mens.' They cite all kinds of nastiness. As to why they gravitate to be your neighbour, maybe it's a learned behaviour where the're concerned-- even at a subconscious level-- on their way in to the bathroom that there will be no TP in their stall, or that they won't have any.. uh.. feminine products in their bag, so they want to have someone in the adjacent stall who they can requisition for supplies, if necessary?

Ha. At my workplace, they recently put in new urinal cakes. I make it a personal goal to see how much I can fill up No. 3. And yes, I have "my" urinal. I've been using exactly the third urinal every single day(even if I had to go to a different level due to washing) since I started last week. I've "pooed" maybe 5 times in my entire life, outside of my home or my grandmother's. Mainly because I hate splashback and will devote at least a half dozen squares of double ply to "cushioning" the water. That and I don't consider myself "clean" unless I've at least run a little water around the edges. Hell, 60% of the time, I wind up showering. The remaining 40, everything below the waist winds up wet.

Yes, guys generally avoid "adjacency". I've wound up with guys who break the "code" sometimes.

Speaking of which. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=eYvEmdHVhW4)
As far as "poo" goes, I know that if I have to go in public, it's gonna be bad, so yeah, I'm gonna pick one all the way at the far end if possible.

Personally, I think more women should learn/master the art of standing when they go. Hey, if Eliza Dushku could do it, so can you!:p

Oh yeah, on the subject of messes, back in secondary school, the cleaners complained and one assembly, the principal(female) said "And the cleaners are complaining that the girls' bathrooms are very messy, with toilet paper all over the floor, and sanitary pads right outside the windows."

Having worked as a contractor escort since then, I can definitely attest to that. Even if they're military women, the bathrooms have a rather unpleasant "aura" about them that I can feel when I enter. Don't get me wrong, I know what male pee smells like, and all bathrooms have a "heavy" feeling to the air, but women's bathrooms? Yeah, there's this freaky feeling about it that is annoying to me.

Personally, I've never found that, though there does tend to be more "openness", like talking to each other on the loo which I find odd.

I don't take long in the loo really. The bath/shower, I take a fair while, but that's different. And while I've suffered plenty of loooooong queues, whenever actually in public bathrooms, people never seem to take that long... so why the queues? :confused:

I've also never found this horrific mess that some women seem to talk of... but then maybe that's because the only public loos I use are college loos and ones in a nice posh town :p

It must just vary from place to place...
perhaps some people in your workplace have that as a "cultural norm" from someplace, and other people have followed the same behaviour to appear normal??

Are the two mutually exclusive?

... No. No they're not.

I can tell you this much - when I'm taking a dump and someone sticks a dick into the stall I'm in, that's the last time he'll have his dick attached to his body.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/CutThroat.gif
I always have a knife on me. And I bet the pecker will flush down nicely together with my poop.Heh. That's a bit extreme don't you think? Just try kicking it.
I assume it's legal to carry knives in Germany?

Next, I thought, "Maybe there are 'good stalls' and 'bad stalls' in the bathroom, and they always happen to be the ones next to the stall I'm choosing!" So I rotated the stall I selected, using a different one each time I went. Again, 9 times out of 10 any woman entering the bathroom after me would choose a stall next to me.


*opens door for conspiracy theorists*
Everyone you work with is convinced that you are a corporate/government spy, so they select stalls close to you to assure that you aren't making secret radio broadcasts from the bathrooms.
:p

Heh. That's a bit extreme don't you think? Just try kicking it.
I assume it's legal to carry knives in Germany?
Maybe - but then again, disturbing me like that while taking a dump will have those harsh consequences.
So, if you think about sticking your dick into my stall - just don't.

And it is legal to carry most knives in Germany. The law is very specific which are illegal, which kind is considered a tool, and which fall under the category weapon (although those can still be legal).

I'm carrying a Leatherman whereever I go.

*opens door for conspiracy theorists*
Everyone you work with is convinced that you are a corporate/government spy, so they select stalls close to you to assure that you aren't making secret radio broadcasts from the bathrooms.
:p<Listens to Bottle.>
Is she tinkling in Morse Code?

Maybe - but then again, disturbing me like that while taking a dump will have those harsh consequences.
So, if you think about sticking your dick into my stall - just don't.Heh. I'm not planning on it. No worries here.

And it is legal to carry most knives in Germany. The law is very specific which are illegal, which kind is considered a tool, and which fall under the category weapon (although those can still be legal).

I'm carrying a Leatherman whereever I go.Ah, I see. That's good to hear. Sometimes countries that ban guns also ban knives.