NationStates Jolt Archive

When it comes to certain movies, just the concept of the movie or the promos for it are enough to make you lose any interest in it. Still, you never truly know whether the movie is good or not I guess.

So, I'd like people to list movies that aren't any good. List new movies you won't be seeing because it looks like crap, or have already seen and know is crap.

My two: Who's your Caddy- another crappy film making fun of 'urban culture' and white guys.

The Simpson's Movie- The promos aren't funny at all, I can just tell they screwed up.

The Simpsons movie, seeing as how the show has sucked for almost four years now.

Saw 3, 4 and 5
Hostel 2, 3 and 4 (haven't seen the first one either)
Who's your Caddy (didn't even know about it)
anything similar to Who's Your Caddy.

Anything that I see more than 10 advertisements per day for. If you need to market the movie that much, it most likely sucks.

Any movies like "Who's your Caddy" and "Soul Plane", (waits to be called racist). Also chick flicks, I really honestly do not get chick flicks, why would anyone want to watch such depressing films?

Something i won't be seeing anytime soon?
That flash of WYTYG's in my TG's. :(

Movies, though ... can't think of any. Oh wait, yeah. Any sequel of "Friday".
The end of "Pootie Tang".

Any new movie related to Star Wars in some fashion.

Any Uwe Boll movie.

The Simpsons movie.

Anything that screams stupid humour, like "White Chicks" or "Napoleon Dynamite."

So, I'd like people to list movies that aren't any good. List new movies you won't be seeing because it looks like crap, or have already seen and know is crap.
Hot Rod
Underdog
Bratz
Daddy Day Camp
Who's Your Caddy

Any movies like "Who's your Caddy" and "Soul Plane", (waits to be called racist). Also chick flicks, I really honestly do not get chick flicks, why would anyone want to watch such depressing films?

I've heard bad... I mean REALLY BAD reviews of Soul Plane. I think the only Good thing they said about it was the "jumping plane" was moderatly funny.

Soul Plane wasn't totally bad. It was watchable.
The start was kinda humorous. It was far better than any of those other teen comedys out there, like Epic Movie, Scary Movie(s) or Date Movie.
Of course, that's not saying much.
Won't someone pls break the fingers on the guys who write those movies?

As long as idiots will pay money to go see stupid movies that really just reinforce and create new stereotypes, they'll keep making them.

It's all about the money!

*Wonder when people will realize that, probably never.*

Soul Plane wasn't totally bad. It was watchable.
The start was kinda humorous. It was far better than any of those other teen comedys out there, like Epic Movie, Scary Movie(s) or Date Movie.
Of course, that's not saying much.
Won't someone pls break the fingers on the guys who write those movies?

Looking at this list of upcoming movies?

http://www.imdb.com/nowplaying/

I'd say I'll be seeing none of those. :p

Looking at this list of upcoming movies?

http://www.imdb.com/nowplaying/

I'd say I'll be seeing none of those. :p

Pretty close to ditto for m'self.

Something i won't be seeing anytime soon?
That flash of WYTYG's in my TG's. :(

indeed

indeed

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/drink/trink39.gif

There's two excellent reasons not to see this movie:
I Know who killed me (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0897361/)
1. Lindsay
2. Lohan

Here's some movies nobody will ever see:

A faithful and awesome adaptation of a video game directed by Uwe Boll.

On the plus side, this movie:
This is England (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480025/)
looks like it could be good. Anyone seen it?

Oh joy, another Adam Sandler movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762107/

I can't wait.

I really can't.

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/drink/trink39.gif

cheers

Pretty close to ditto for m'self.

I want to see two of those movies.

The first, Transformers, because, well, it's freakin' transformers.

The second, 1408, just because it actually looks like a half way decent thriller, and I love horror movies.

The rest-garbage.

Oh joy, another Adam Sandler movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762107/

I can't wait.

I really can't.

I keep thinking that he used to be funny, at some point, but I can't recall any examples. :p

I want to see two of those movies.

The first, Transformers, because, well, it's freakin' transformers.

The second, 1408, just because it actually looks like a half way decent thriller, and I love horror movies.

The rest-garbage.

Seen 1408. Will see Die hard 4, because it's die hard. But not in theatre.

This is England is the only one that really interests me. But it sounds like a festival film (=not in theatres around here)

I keep thinking that he used to be funny, at some point, but I can't recall any examples. :p

Some of his SNL was funny... other than that...

Can't think of any...

Any new movie related to Star Wars in some fashion.

Not even a KotoR movie? :eek:

[all of them]

I haven't seen a movie since 2000.

Not even a KotoR movie? :eek:

Of course I wouldn't watch that drivel. It's Star Wars. Star Wars is utter crap.

Any of that stupid Potter-nonsense.

Of course I wouldn't watch that drivel. It's Star Wars. Star Wars is utter crap.
:eek: Your opinion on Star Wars is utter crap, eh? :p

Usually anything directed by Spielberg and also any film featuring any of the following people, especially in combination:

Tom Cruise
Nicholas Cage
Morgan Freeman
"The Rock"
Vin Diesel
Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
Dustin Hoffman
Jennifer Lopez
Ben Affleck
Madonna
Vinny Jones


also anything that is a sequel, anything described as 'wacky' or 'hilarious'

On the plus side, this movie:
This is England (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480025/)
looks like it could be good. Anyone seen it?

I know a lot of people who saw it and really rated it.

Unfortunately I never managed to see it (for various reasons).

Still, when I scrape enough money together I'll probably see it.

The obvious:

Who's Your Caddy (or anything even remotely like it)
Daddy Day Camp
anything with Lindsey Lohan in it
Underdog (it's about as much Underdog as the Shadowrun FPS is Shadowrun)

Probably will see Bourne Ultimatum, though. If only to see just how much further they can remove the movies from the books.

I refuse to watch Eddie Murphy movies or spin-offs of Eddie Murphy movies.


Also, I am avoiding Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks because freaking Hollywood is ruining the very few good childhood memories I had.

i doubt i'll be seeing that new robin williams film where he's a marriage tester or whatever it was on about. the trailers for that looked appalling. but there are a tonne of films i do want to see this summer, i can't remember a line-up this good in years though i know some are going to be disappointing, Harry Potter for one.

Anything that screams stupid humour, like "White Chicks" or "Napoleon Dynamite."

*agrees*

Halo. I'm probably going to see it eventually, I suppose, but I'm not going to like it.

Usually anything directed by Spielberg and also any film featuring any of the following people, especially in combination:
Nicholas Cage
Morgan Freeman
Ben Affleck
Vinny Jones

So thats Lord of War, Shawshank Redemption, Dogma, and Lock Stock all out then? *is suprised*

So thats Lord of War, Shawshank Redemption, Dogma, and Lock Stock all out then? *is suprised*

Of those I have only seen Shawshank Redemption (which I loathe with a vengeance) and Lock Stock which I just thought was crap.

There are some exceptions Se7en was great despite the presence of Morgan Freeman and Gwyneth Paltrow (who I forgot to put on my list). I also have a list of people like Bill Murray, Jeff Bridges, Robert Downey jr, etc who can counteract the presence of someone like Nicholas Cage.

I refuse to watch Eddie Murphy movies or spin-offs of Eddie Murphy movies.


Also, I am avoiding Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks because freaking Hollywood is ruining the very few good childhood memories I had.

Don't forget The Jetsons, there's a movie coming down the pipes...

I am looking forward to Get Smart, though.

Oh, and be afraid, be very afraid (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/kr2008big.jpg)

Oh, and be afraid, be very afraid (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/kr2008big.jpg)

awesome!! is the hoff back in his old role or have they got a less sozzled replacement?

awesome!! is the hoff back in his old role or have they got a less sozzled replacement?

dunno, I was only shown the poster.

My first question was "I wonder if they'll get Kit's original voice actor?"

My second question was "Why, God, Why?"

Oh, and be afraid, be very afraid (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/kr2008big.jpg)
Faith in humanity... fallling...

oh.dear.god.

my freaking husband is going to make me watch that at some point if he ever finds out about it *starts distraction conspiracy*

*searches for hubby's e-mail*:D

dunno, I was only shown the poster.

My first question was "I wonder if they'll get Kit's original voice actor?"

My second question was "Why, God, Why?"

heh! it's guaranteed to be terrible i'm sure, but if they do it right it will be hilariously terrible which is all good.

Oh, and be afraid, be very afraid (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/kr2008big.jpg)

oh.dear.god.

my freaking husband is going to make me watch that at some point if he ever finds out about it *starts distraction conspiracy*

*searches for hubby's e-mail*:D

*intercepts email*

On the plus side, this movie:
This is England (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480025/)
looks like it could be good. Anyone seen it?

Must... resist... 300... joke...

Of course I wouldn't watch that drivel. It's Star Wars. Star Wars is utter crap.

You're not supposed to think about Star Wars. You're supposed to say: "Oo, pretty flashing lasers and explosions." ;)

Star Wars...
... it was a long, long time ago...
...when cinemas used to put the names of films up using plastic letters on rails.

Of course, STAR WARS got rearranged into ARS WARTS

Dare say our town wasn't the only place that happened.

all movies are too expensive. and too little focused on anything even remotely interesting to me. largely perhapse because the mundane world culture i live surrounded by does so as well. and entertainment for the sake of economic gain rather then artistic values, at least, again in the culture in america, and probably most other places, has an overwhelmingly dissappointing tendency to seldom venture far beyond the box of popularly familiar assumptions, even in the guise of pretending to. i think that's one reason the world NEEDS cultural diversity. so we can watch each other's moves and see through the eyes of different perspectives then we take ourselves for granted.

i don't know if, or how far outside the box of its own culture japanese anime is, in its own context, but i love how it seems to be, or atleast has been, outside the box of our own. and quite frankly, such things are the only things i've seen offered as entertianment in a long time worth seeing at all. i don't know if the same would go for american crap if i were living emerced in the culture of japan.

every place comes up with its own ways of messing things up so i'm not trying to say anyplace does nothing wrong. but if enough places did enough things enough differently, at least we'd be kept entertained. that is, if we don't build a wall arround our borders and hide behind it.

my mind wanders to a number of the thoughts that leads to. distinct subject drift from that of this thread.

i can't judge specific movies, least of all those "advertised on tv", because, the last time i went to see a movie at a movie house, it was the first men in black movie. and i thing the last time before that it had been the origeonal stargate move, which was a whole context of absurdity and, at the time, shockingly overpriced at that. up until that time, what was, almost, if not more then, twenty years ago, i did go to movies, oh, maybe three or four times a year. the economy was different and such things were more affordable. and if it turned out to be crap, well no greater loss of any hour or two then a lot of other things. but now, when it costs as much to go see a movie as i can get a truely memorable gormet meal for, i just don't see the point in bothering.

was it that long ago, i suppose it must be, that when you went to a movie house, there were fresh hot dogs and popcorn in the lobby, you got to see TWO full length major movies for the price to get in, with cartoons and newsreals inbetween, ok, the newsreals bit dates me certainly, that did end more then twenty years ago, maybe more then 30, and any way, not damd comercials either. i mean, that was one of the major reasons to go see a move was to not be pestered by advertising crap, i mean besides the two movies and a cartoon.

i'm much more gratified to see real and immaginary places and without someone else telling me what to think about what i am seeing, then any such thing as so called 'entertainment' anyway.

maybe in a thousand years there will be legands of the time when america isolated itself behind a wall the way china was doing a few centuries ago.

i think that's the mentality of where imperial america thinks its going, and personally i find it tedius crap.

sorry, i'd MUCH rather watch railfan tapes and wild life adventures, then soap operas about how the pettyness of personal lives is made more screwed up more so by the abusiveness of ambient cultural values, which is what most of movie making seems to be about. whether it is illustrated more or less violently or with a pretense of humor.

there's more entertainment in growing a garden and building little trains to wander through it, then anything that's about spending money on to expect to be 'entertained' by.

=^^=
.../\...

SNIP

That is just plain horrible to read

That is just plain horrible to read
you read it all?
I just zoned out after the first paragraph and skipped to the end. Did I miss anything?

you read it all?
I just zoned out after the first paragraph and skipped to the end. Did I miss anything?

Apparently gardening is good

dunno, I was only shown the poster.

My first question was "I wonder if they'll get Kit's original voice actor?"

My second question was "Why, God, Why?"
Why? 'cause Hollywood is totally devoid of ideas so just rehashes old ones. They figure after 25 years, Knight Rider has now become nostalgic and no-one can really remember how cheesy and lame it was.
Further, all those kids who watched it are now in their 30's and prob have kids of their own about the right age to be dragged along to it.

Apparently gardening is good
So he's not totally insane then.

Apparently gardening is good

So he's not totally insane then.

I think I saw a huge rant about how in The Good Old Days movies were cheaper.

So he's not totally insane then.

Quite. Though I think he'd better retire to it post haste, with a stiff G&T and relaxing briar.


(And if I wasn't stuck here I'd heed my own advice too :()

Looking at this list of upcoming movies?

http://www.imdb.com/nowplaying/

I'd say I'll be seeing none of those. :p

I made the mistake of going to see 1408. It sucked enormously. Stephen King is a fucking has-been.

The rest of the movies I will not see, even when they come out in DVD or on cable.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b283/jtkwon/pirates.jpg

I think I saw a huge rant about how in The Good Old Days movies were cheaper.
Ah, one of those.
"For tuppence we could catch the tram into toon, see two full length features at the Odeon, get a bag of black bullits and still have enough left over to buy Buckingham Palace. ehhh...but life was grand back then. and I didn't see a banana til I was 24."

Ah, one of those.
"For tuppence we could catch the tram into toon, see two full length features at the Odeon, get a bag of black bullits and still have enough left over to buy Buckingham Palace. ehhh...but life was grand back then. and I didn't see a banana til I was 24."

...and you try telling that to a young person today and they don't believe you...

Captain Corelli's Mandolin - It's one of my favourite books, so I really don't want to see a rubbishy film adaptation. I think I'm going to use this rule for almost all films of books I like in future.
Actually, I'm not sure if I ever even want to read the book again, in case I think it isn't as good as I remember it being.

...and you try telling that to a young person today and they don't believe you...

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

I think I saw a huge rant about how in The Good Old Days movies were cheaper.

They were. And less bad.

And I'm "only" 26 >_<


Awesome pic, RO :D

Awesome pic, RO :D

It's even better when you realize that "Pirates" is a porn flick parody of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Awesome pic, RO :D

if pirates were taught about birth control, maybe this would not have happened... ;)

Why? 'cause Hollywood is totally devoid of ideas so just rehashes old ones. They figure after 25 years, Knight Rider has now become nostalgic and no-one can really remember how cheesy and lame it was.
Further, all those kids who watched it are now in their 30's and prob have kids of their own about the right age to be dragged along to it.

It gets worse, all "In Development" or already confirmed:
A-Team-2008
The Jetsons-2009
Magnum P.I.-2009
Happy Days-2008
Get Smart-2008 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425061/) (In the interest of full disclosure, I make no secret that I'll see this)
G.I. Joe-2010

and, of course, as mentioned before:

Knight Rider-2008 (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2006/kr2008big.jpg)

you read it all?
I just zoned out after the first paragraph and skipped to the end. Did I miss anything?

I got here:
my mind wanders to a number of the thoughts that leads to. distinct subject drift from that of this thread.
then started laughing.

I refuse to watch Eddie Murphy movies or spin-offs of Eddie Murphy movies.


Also, I am avoiding Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks because freaking Hollywood is ruining the very few good childhood memories I had.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who cringes at seeing my childhood raped again and again and again...

That said, I try not to watch movies anymore, because Hollywood makes me cry. Everytime I see a movie and think 'hey, that might be good' I am reminded of how much Hollywood makes me cry and wonder why I spend $13 to see that crap in theaters.

So... I wont be seeing any of the upcoming movies. They just aren't worth it.

I know who killed me
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry
...that one with the stuntman/loser guy who triumphs and wins the girl or some shit...
...that one with the two losers who try to get laid or something...

There are others, but I can't think of them.

I kinda want to see sunshine, but it's not playing anywhere near me. There's some No Reservations movie that might be decent too...

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

At least you had a job.

When it comes to certain movies, just the concept of the movie or the promos for it are enough to make you lose any interest in it. Still, you never truly know whether the movie is good or not I guess.

So, I'd like people to list movies that aren't any good. List new movies you won't be seeing because it looks like crap, or have already seen and know is crap.

My two: Who's your Caddy- another crappy film making fun of 'urban culture' and white guys.

The Simpson's Movie- The promos aren't funny at all, I can just tell they screwed up.

I want to see The Simpsons Movie when it comes out, just to see how badly they screwed up. I can tell it'll just be slapstick and stupid jokes. One guy I know actually thinks it's funny.

I probably won't be seeing anything else this summer except maybe...The Simpsons, The Bourne Ultimatum, Rush Hour 3 and War...

...I might have to take my little brother to Harry Potter too

Any movies like "Who's your Caddy" and "Soul Plane", (waits to be called racist). Also chick flicks, I really honestly do not get chick flicks, why would anyone want to watch such depressing films?
I thought chick flick usually referred to "Romantic Comedy". Although not depressing, they've lost the funny and gone to sappy crap halfway in at the latest.

Of course I wouldn't watch that drivel. It's Star Wars. Star Wars is utter crap.
Blasphemy.
You're not supposed to think about Star Wars. You're supposed to say: "Oo, pretty flashing lasers and explosions." ;)
That is not Star Wars, you're thinking of the prequels.

Anything that screams stupid humour, like "White Chicks" or "Napoleon Dynamite."
I got 5 minutes into Napoleon Dynamite before I decided either it was really really unfunny, or I just didn't get it.

I don't know which movies I won't be seeing - I have different movie tastes than my boyfriend - I like action/sci-fi, he likes comedy and horror. We compromise by taking turns at picking a movie. Which, sadly, means I get dragged to all the godawful "comedies" (he has every Adam Sandler movie on dvd :()

There's two excellent reasons not to see this movie:
I Know who killed me (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0897361/)
1. Lindsay
2. Lohan
It seems most of the people mentioning I Know in this thread stopped reading the plot outline when the saw Lohan's name. Such naysayers might be more charitably inclined to the movie if they'd read on to the "abducted and tortured by a sadistic serial killer" part at the end of the sentence.
I just zoned out after the first paragraph and skipped to the end.
You mean the cat picture/sig? 'Cause that's all I read.

i can't remember a line-up this good in years though i know some are going to be disappointing, Harry Potter for one.
If you know that a movie is going to disapoint you before hand, is it really disappointing?

I'm really worried about the film I Know Who's Your Caddy- It's Underdog.