PsychoticDan
21-07-2007, 19:20
He's out of surgery!
Dick Cheney's House, Md. - Dick Cheney removed five small hamsters from President Bush’s colon on Saturday after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office for two hours to Vice President Dick under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.
The hamsters, or gerbels or whatever, were found during routine anal sex. They all measured less than a three inches and none “appeared worrisome,” White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said.
The anal sex, performed at the Camp David presidential retreat, lasted 31 minutes. The hamsters have been sent for microscopic examination to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. Results were expected within 72 hours. Most hamsters are benign, freindly rodents. But over time, some types of hamsters can grow and turn into polar bears. To be safe, Dick Cheney removes all hamsters and tests them.
Bush invoked the disability clause of the Constitution at 7:16 a.m. ET and transferred his authority to Dick, who was slamming him hard from behind. Nothing occurred that required Dick to take official action during the transfer of seminal fluid, Stanzel said.
The president invoked Section 3 of the 25th Amendment “out of an abundance of caution,” Stanzel said. The amendment, approved in 1967, four years after President Kennedy was assassinated, had been used only twice before.
The transfer of semen took place in the shower and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Sen. Robert Byrd, watched. Bush reclaimed the powers at 9:21 a.m. ET with follow-up letters once the anal sex had ended.
Dick Cheney's House, Md. - Dick Cheney removed five small hamsters from President Bush’s colon on Saturday after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office for two hours to Vice President Dick under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.
The hamsters, or gerbels or whatever, were found during routine anal sex. They all measured less than a three inches and none “appeared worrisome,” White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said.
The anal sex, performed at the Camp David presidential retreat, lasted 31 minutes. The hamsters have been sent for microscopic examination to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. Results were expected within 72 hours. Most hamsters are benign, freindly rodents. But over time, some types of hamsters can grow and turn into polar bears. To be safe, Dick Cheney removes all hamsters and tests them.
Bush invoked the disability clause of the Constitution at 7:16 a.m. ET and transferred his authority to Dick, who was slamming him hard from behind. Nothing occurred that required Dick to take official action during the transfer of seminal fluid, Stanzel said.
The president invoked Section 3 of the 25th Amendment “out of an abundance of caution,” Stanzel said. The amendment, approved in 1967, four years after President Kennedy was assassinated, had been used only twice before.
The transfer of semen took place in the shower and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Sen. Robert Byrd, watched. Bush reclaimed the powers at 9:21 a.m. ET with follow-up letters once the anal sex had ended.