NationStates Jolt Archive

A 500lb (228Kg, 36 stone) man tried to go tubing down a Minnesota river last night.

Here is the full extent of his decision. (http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_198075508.html?tryagain)

You know you screwed up when the hovercraft fail to get to you. Hopefully, this will encourage the man to begin losing weight.

Good god... that's just fucked up.

They should have left him there until he'd convinced them that rescuing him wouldn't violate the international ban on whale hunting.

Looks to me like the guy could benefit from dropping a few pounds: I'd sugges a better diet and perhaps some exercise.

With any luck, Richard Simmons will take his case himself and the man will wake up in the hospital with Simmons weeping over his bedside, shriek for several hours and never eat again.

Lord knows, I'd lose weight to get rid of him. *nod*

They should have left him there until he'd convinced them that rescuing him wouldn't violate the international ban on whale hunting.

Then get the Japanese to "research" him.

Looks to me like the guy could benefit from dropping a few pounds: I'd suggest removing butter, ice cream, big steaks, sweets (erm candy) et al from any shelves in a ten-mile radius to his house, and getting him to run a mile a day for the rest of his life.
Tada!

Tada!

Ten miles is a bit far don't you think. Just confiscate his car and shrink to a maximum of one.

I'm sorry, but: lol.

I actually got an image of a man beached and laughed. But you know you really need to lose weight when this is said:


"The aircraft that found him said they could not lift that amount of weight."

Ten miles is a bit far don't you think. Just confiscate his car and shrink to a maximum of one.

I think you mean Flat Bed Truck.

i blame Mc Donalds

i blame Mc Donalds

Yes, because they clearly force fed this man until he became this weight.

There is such a thing as personal responsibility, you know.

I think the real question here is, what was he doing swimming there in the first place?

Oh, maybe he was bathing. I imagine it must be hard to fit in a shower, not to mention a tub.

There is such a thing as personal responsibility, you know.

and this news story proves why sometimes, it's a bad thing. :p We need a prison for fat people so we can just force them to eat properly. Either that or slaughter them and use their bulk to feed the starving.

Yes, because they clearly force fed this man until he became this weight.

There is such a thing as personal responsibility, you know.

Methinks thy sarcasm detection machine be broken...

Methinks thy sarcasm detection machine be broken...

How can you possibly tell someone is being sarcastic from that?

I think you mean Flat Bed Truck.

Yes, and any other methods of transportation he may have. The point is, that if you make sure that he has to walk, the zone you have to clear out is a lot smaller.

A 500lb (228Kg, 36 stone) man tried to go tubing down a Minnesota river last night.

Here is the full extent of his decision. (http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_198075508.html?tryagain)

You know you screwed up when the hovercraft fail to get to you. Hopefully, this will encourage the man to begin losing weight.

Funny until you start to think about it, at which point it slowly progresses to tragic.

There is clearly something wrong with that man, whether it's in his head or a metabolic issue. Honestly, I would shoot myself if I ever got that big -- that's beyond my comprehension if he became that enormous just from a bad diet and lack of exercise.

I hold him, and him only, responsible. If one has that little self-discipline and self-respect, anything arising from that is wholly merited.

There is clearly something wrong with that man, whether it's in his head or a metabolic issue. Honestly, I would shoot myself if I ever got that big -- that's beyond my comprehension if he became that enormous just from a bad diet and lack of exercise.

Definitely he needs medical attention in order to safely get to a healthier weight. Sometimes, it's health issues that cause that kind of weight gain. And while people here are being oh so superior and snarking on about his life -- he was out tubing, in case you missed it. The article said he started walking back but had chest pains and injured his ankle and knee on uneven rocks. I would love to hear your explanation of how you believe he can go from this unfortunate condition to "walking a mile a day" to lose the weight.

But please, do go on being smug, superior morons, it makes you all look SO much better than the person you're jeering at. (And AFS, no, that's not directed at you.)

Definitely he needs medical attention in order to safely get to a healthier weight. Sometimes, it's health issues that cause that kind of weight gain. And while people here are being oh so superior and snarking on about his life -- he was out tubing, in case you missed it. The article said he started walking back but had chest pains and injured his ankle and knee on uneven rocks. I would love to hear your explanation of how you believe he can go from this unfortunate condition to "walking a mile a day" to lose the weight.

But please, do go on being smug, superior morons, it makes you all look SO much better than the person you're jeering at. (And AFS, no, that's not directed at you.)

Wasn't being smug, merely pointed out that the only vehicle he can physically ride would have to be a flat bed truck. that is a fact.

As for me, I'd wave to the people like the one man parade that I am. and maybe throw out some bite-sized tootsie rolls concealed under my many prominant folds.:D

I think the real question here is, what was he doing swimming there in the first place?

Oh, maybe he was bathing. I imagine it must be hard to fit in a shower, not to mention a tub.

I do recall the story where President Taft got trapped in his tub and they needed to rescue him...

I feel kind of bad for the 500 LBS man. To lose control of yourself to get that big, must be horrible.