NationStates Jolt Archive

As for marine life, the local dolphin population can be a problem for some submariners.

Jaubert says he has clients who wrestle with how to conduct a deep-sea love affair in front of an observation window without creating underwater paparazzi.

"Dolphins are easily excited when they sense people making love," Jones says. "They get jealous and bang their noses against the window."

The best solution? Curtains, says Jones.
Source (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003783824_luxurysubs11.html?referrer=digg)

I was going to go on about what it symbolizes that the richest are forming a secret luxury navy, or that despite my disgust in principle, I really kinda want one, too...

But compared to finding out that dolphins like to watch...just didn't seem as important...

women, how much for your women? I give you two fish for the blonde.

This would make a hilarious short puppet show.

women, how much for your women? I give you two fish for the blonde.

Your daughter, how much for your daughter? You children, sell them to me, sell me your children.

Not surprising. I think I read that humans, dolphins and bonobos are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

Not surprising. I think I read that humans, dolphins and bonobos are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

...that we are sure of.

Source (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003783824_luxurysubs11.html?referrer=digg)

I was going to go on about what it symbolizes that the richest are forming a secret luxury navy, or that despite my disgust in principle, I really kinda want one, too...

But compared to finding out that dolphins like to watch...just didn't seem as important...

They are the second-smartest animals on the planet, just ahead of humans.

just ahead of humans.

Ahead, or behind?

*makes note not to have sex in the sea*

Ahead, or behind?

I can't remember, and I lent out my copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I think ahead.

It was ahead. Mice, then dolphins, then humans.

It was ahead. Mice, then dolphins, then humans.

Thought so. ;)

Awe shit, it's going to be like that Simpsons episode where the dolphins kill everyone.

Dolphins need to mind their own damned business. Or, the guy spending 38 million on a sub might want to spring for a $100 tint job. :p

It was ahead. Mice, then dolphins, then humans.

This confirms my suspicion that mice control the global porn industry then.

Awe shit, it's going to be like that Simpsons episode where the dolphins kill everyone.
Raarrr, we need more rich person porn!!!
Dolphins need to mind their own damned business. Or, the guy spending 38 million on a sub might want to spring for a $100 tint job. :p

Or reinforce the windows...cause frustratin' dolphins is what gets him off...

Dolphins are cute. :)

Dolphins are cute. :)
Until they try and see if their bottle nose can fit up your butt...


EDIT: I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing that that is the first thing anyone says to you on NSG, providing you're not a puppet. At the very least, it should leave an impression...

Until they try and see if their bottle nose can fit up your butt...

Unless you're into that.

Unless you're into that.

Maybe that's why the drive to get rich and to be secretive about having the subs-they're really all just anal dolphin fetishists and this was the only way to satisfy their strange desires.

Don't judge them...we all have needs...

Maybe that's why the drive to get rich and to be secretive about having the subs-they're really all just anal dolphin fetishists and this was the only way to satisfy their strange desires.

Don't judge them...we all have needs...

That's what Richard Gere said but did anyone think to ask the hamster?

Hamster - ain't just a river in Holland

Hamsterdam - ain't just a cork in Richard Gere's ass.

So how do you apply for the job of Captaining this vessel, then?

Maybe that's why the drive to get rich and to be secretive about having the subs-they're really all just anal dolphin fetishists and this was the only way to satisfy their strange desires.

Don't judge them...we all have needs...

Except, they're in pressurized subs, so that makes that kind of hard. It seems if you were that sort of fetishist you would be on surface level or at least at a level that you could not have your lungs implode from the pressure - or freeze to death for that matter.

I read something about giving dolphins head once. Bestiality and grossness aside; supposedly, it's dangerous cause they can snap your neck when they come cause they have some really strong jerking reflex that happens. Speaking of which, you may not want to try the whole dolphin-anal thing, unless you want your asshole reinvented.

..then again, you could be into that. :D

So how do you apply for the job of Captaining this vessel, then?

You do not captain vessel, vessel captains you.

It is a river here?:confused:

It flows into the Gerbil Sea...

Hamster - ain't just a river in Holland
It is a river here?:confused:

You do not captain vessel, vessel captains you.
In Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia adds you!

It is a river here?:confused:

Amstel/Amster whatever - way to kill my joke, you pedantic Dutchies are all the same

Amstel/Amster whatever - way to kill my joke, you pedantic Dutchies are all the same
Ah, the Amstel:p I thought I missed something.:D

Ah, the Amstel:p I thought I missed something.:D

Het was niet mijn fout ;)

Dolphins are cute. :)

And it's you dolphin molestors who started this whole thing.

I don't even feel safe swimming in the sea any more. Boy dolphins are ...
OMG, I don't even want to think about it.

If dolphins had money you could make a killing selling them porn.

Dolphins need porn too! I bet its like a sort of strip club under the sea for them albeit a shady one:

This all takes place in some back alley ( if the exist underwater)

Dolphin 1 ( a bit dodgy): So you into other species porn?
Dolphin 2 ( dirty old dolphin): Yes I am. Oh yes. I really would like a bit of that right now...
Dolphin 1: Well come with me and I'll take you to this human show, strictly Pay Per View. Will be hardcore. Cost ya 5 cod.
Dolphin 2:Oh yeah. I'm up for that.

(Exit)

I don't even feel safe swimming in the sea any more. Boy dolphins are ...
OMG, I don't even want to think about it.
Im n ur oshenz, sploogin n ur water

Dolphins need porn too! I bet its like a sort of strip club under the sea for them albeit a shady one:

This all takes place in some back alley ( if the exist underwater)

Dolphin 1 ( a bit dodgy): So you into other species porn?
Dolphin 2 ( dirty old dolphin): Yes I am. Oh yes. I really would like a bit of that right now...
Dolphin 1: Well come with me and I'll take you to this human show, strictly Pay Per View. Will be hardcore. Cost ya 5 cod.
Dolphin 2:Oh yeah. I'm up for that.

(Exit)

Personally, I like to think of it more like Discovery Channel or Animal Planet.

The dolphin banging their nose on the glass is the dolphin equivalent to Steve Irwin. (RIP)

Source (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003783824_luxurysubs11.html?referrer=digg)

I was going to go on about what it symbolizes that the richest are forming a secret luxury navy, or that despite my disgust in principle, I really kinda want one, too...

But compared to finding out that dolphins like to watch...just didn't seem as important...

A better solution would be to let the dolphins join in. :D

On luxury submarines: I really, really want one. On the other hand, this level of excess is quickly approaching the "inspiration for peasant revolt" stage.

On luxury submarines: I really, really want one. On the other hand, this level of excess is quickly approaching the "inspiration for peasant revolt" stage.
The worst part is that the luxury submarines actually cost less than any of their luxury above water equivalents. Do you have any idea what personal planes cost?

The worst part is that the luxury submarines actually cost less than any of their luxury above water equivalents. Do you have any idea what personal planes cost?

But it can at least be argued that private aircraft have some utility. What the hell's a luxury submarine for?

"We have a corporate meeting this week, and it's critical that I feel like a Bond villain while hosting it."

But it can at least be argued that private aircraft have some utility. What the hell's a luxury submarine for?

"We have a corporate meeting this week, and it's critical that I feel like a Bond villain while hosting it."

Hey, it's a convenient way of disposing of the rest of the board.

"Now just sit here a moment gentlemen, while I take this call in my mini-sub. Pay no mind to the scuttling charges"

Source (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003783824_luxurysubs11.html?referrer=digg)

I was going to go on about what it symbolizes that the richest are forming a secret luxury navy, or that despite my disgust in principle, I really kinda want one, too...

But compared to finding out that dolphins like to watch...just didn't seem as important...

Ha, reading the article I can totally see that thought process (except for the really kinda wanting one part). :p
That's pretty cool. I wonder how the dolphins know that what they're watching is different from any other kind of human interaction?

And as for the human excesses involved here: "Spending $80 million for a boat that goes underwater in a market where one that doesn't costs $150 million is a deal," Jones says.
You know, when you look at it like that....

But it can at least be argued that private aircraft have some utility. What the hell's a luxury submarine for?
Depth charge target practice?
Same thing a private jet is for, excessive luxury between point A and point B.

If I could afford a private submarine, I would keep it in one of the great lakes.

Depth charge target practice?
Same thing a private jet is for, excessive luxury between point A and point B.

If I could afford a private submarine, I would keep it in one of the great lakes.

I hope it gets enveloped by zebra mussles.

Dolphins need porn too! I bet its like a sort of strip club under the sea for them albeit a shady one:

This all takes place in some back alley ( if the exist underwater)

Dolphin 1 ( a bit dodgy): So you into other species porn?
Dolphin 2 ( dirty old dolphin): Yes I am. Oh yes. I really would like a bit of that right now...
Dolphin 1: Well come with me and I'll take you to this human show, strictly Pay Per View. Will be hardcore. Cost ya 5 cod.
Dolphin 2:Oh yeah. I'm up for that.

(Exit)

Shady dolphin: You like cartoons?
Dolphin 2: Yeah.
SD: You like human cartoons?
2: Yeah. *gets anxious*
SD: How bout human sex cartoons?
2: Whatever you want, man! Lemme see em!
SD: Oh no. I'm a need at least two eel.
2: Two eel? Be right back! *heads to loan shark*
SD: Sucker. *dials shark* Meal on the way, boss.

I hope it gets enveloped by zebra mussles.
If it does, I will find a way to harness them as a power source and part of the ship and be the only person using a bionic submarine.

If it does, I will find a way to harness them as a power source and part of the ship and be the only person using a bionic submarine.

Good, then they can find a use for a creature that causes around a billion dollars a year in damages, that was introduced by unscrupulous transoceanic travel.

They are the second-smartest animals on the planet, just ahead of humans.

No, we're third, and dolphins are second.
Don't forget the mice.

No, we're third, and dolphins are second.
Don't forget the mice.

That's what he said.

Until they try and see if their bottle nose can fit up your butt...


EDIT: I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing that that is the first thing anyone says to you on NSG, providing you're not a puppet. At the very least, it should leave an impression...

I'm pretty sure trying to fit a bottle nose up your butt should leave an "impression".:D

Source (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003783824_luxurysubs11.html?referrer=digg)

I was going to go on about what it symbolizes that the richest are forming a secret luxury navy, or that despite my disgust in principle, I really kinda want one, too...

But compared to finding out that dolphins like to watch...just didn't seem as important...

Bloody peeping tom dolphins.

I bet they are really jealous of our opposable thumbs.

Not surprising. I think I read that humans, dolphins and bonobos are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

Don't bonobos have sex for everything?

Shady dolphin: You like cartoons?
Dolphin 2: Yeah.
SD: You like human cartoons?
2: Yeah. *gets anxious*
SD: How bout human sex cartoons?
2: Whatever you want, man! Lemme see em!
SD: Oh no. I'm a need at least two eel.
2: Two eel? Be right back! *heads to loan shark*
SD: Sucker. *dials shark* Meal on the way, boss.

That definitely deserves a LOL!

http://worldofwonder.net/image1/Laughing%20dolphin.jpg

Shady dolphin: You like cartoons?
Dolphin 2: Yeah.
SD: You like human cartoons?
2: Yeah. *gets anxious*
SD: How bout human sex cartoons?
2: Whatever you want, man! Lemme see em!
SD: Oh no. I'm a need at least two eel.
2: Two eel? Be right back! *heads to loan shark*
SD: Sucker. *dials shark* Meal on the way, boss.

I approve of this pun.