NationStates Jolt Archive

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Only if we can go to soviet era eastern europe.

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Hell, I'll go...

One condition: We have to go back to 1995 and warn everyone about the sh*t that the future holds. Reasoning: It's far back enough to make a serious difference, but not too far to have excess unintended consequences.

PS: We'd need to bring some things to both prove our origins and explain the case, if necessary

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

So you post this on an anonymous internet forum, and expect us to take you seriously. Forgive me for laughing. ;)

i'll go if you want, when will we be headed back too?

Sure. Let's go back and tighten up our immigration policy circa 1492.

You'll get paid after we get back.


Heh, if we got back safely I wouldn't need the payday. :D

I'll join in. Let's go forward to the past!

Ok. Lets go back 1969 and ship bush and chenny to "Nam.

http://www.kasterborus.com/tardis/tardis/tardis!.jpg
?

I know! We go back and time and kill the first cavemen. All wars, conflicts, and tragedies that have occurred throughout human history would cease to exist. And, due to possible disruptions within the fabric of the universe due to the inherent paradox, we could possibly destroy the entire universe! Muhahahaha!

If that isn't possible, I'd like to go back in time and be my own grandfather.

Sure. Let's go back and tighten up our immigration policy circa 1492.

Oh, I believe they tried that.
Firearms and disease go a long way toward opening up the borders.

Oh, I believe they tried that.
Firearms and disease go a long way toward opening up the borders.

Actually no. Had we full on pushed the Europeans out, who knows...maybe they would have fucked off for another couple hundred years. Instead, we helped them, especially here in North America, where our help was essential to their survival. Some few resisted right away, but others felt we had enough land to share.

So no. We didn't try that.

If that isn't possible, I'd like to go back in time and be my own grandfather.

Isn't that incest? :eek:

Isn't that incest? :eek:

Er...damn it. Forgot about that. :mad:

I'd like to go back to my Freshman year and not drop my double major. I could have had both a BA and a Masters' degree in just 5 years! Wtf was I thinking!?

Er...damn it. Forgot about that. :mad:

Oh. I sort of figured that's why you wanted to do it. I said, 'okay, that's sick, but whatever' and refrained from comment.

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Pathetic
http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

Isn't that incest? :eek:

Also a possible genetic paradox.

Pathetic
http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

Check out that wicked mullet!

Check out that wicked mullet!

True I was not saying the like was pathetic rather the attempted rebroadcasting and spam based on a well known internet phenomenon without the key elements that make it funny

(the mullet the song and the originality)

That's me.

Also, as I said, I have done this only once before:

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/b/d/7/bd7c8c27aebc0512535dca8f7554cea4.jpg

Well IF you are serious (which, judging from a certain link posted above, I doubt), them I'm guessing it involves some kind of witchcraft or something like that. Make sure you cast a circle and do a strong protection ritual first.

:rolleyes:

Not to mention that this would be way funnier posted in the "safety in prison" thread

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

*Straps on Short Sword, Katana and Double bladed rod. Puts on Chain mail and puts on jacket over that. takes walking cane with sword hidden inside.*

when are we going to?

Well IF you are serious (which, judging from a certain link posted above, I doubt), them I'm guessing it involves some kind of witchcraft or something like that. Make sure you cast a circle and do a strong protection ritual first.

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

I don't believe it's physically possible to go back in time without ending reality as we know it, and thus I don't believe you.

Pathetic
http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

Definately a ripoff. The picture is the best part.

I don't believe it's physically possible to go back in time without ending reality as we know it, and thus I don't believe you.

You silly. You see, I've already gone to the past: I've already created the reality you know, but I'm preparing to do so right now.

Definately a ripoff. The picture is the best part.

I agree like I said the best part were
A) The picture
B) The music
C) The origionality

This fails at all 3

http://youdontevenrealize.com/pictures/fail.jpg

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.


Do we get any say in the mission's tasking priorities? If so, I have some targe-- er, I mean, input ;)

I agree like I said the best part were
A) The picture
B) The music
C) The origionality

This fails at all 3

*snip*

Well, I suppose you've never been bored or wanted to give somebody a quick laugh.

You silly. You see, I've already gone to the past: I've already created the reality you know, but I'm preparing to do so right now.

uh.......no. You can't go back in time, it screws up the matter/energy balance, you would negate all reality. We can only go forward in time, and even then we may not be able to affect the speed at which that happens.

Well, I suppose you've never been bored or wanted to give somebody a quick laugh.

Sure I do a quick on topic picture or post in an already existent thread

Or start a thread about a humorous but real topic

Not entire new spam threads.

uh.......no. You can't go back in time, it screws up the matter/energy balance, you would negate all reality. We can only go forward in time, and even then we may not be able to affect the speed at which that happens.

the only reason why we can go forwards in time is that no one found the reverse gear yet.

heck... we're stuck in Second Gear going forwards... :p

the only reason why we can go forwards in time is that no one found the reverse gear yet.

heck... we're stuck in Second Gear going forwards... :p

:p I'm serious though, I put a lot of thought into it, going back in time would be disastrous.

Sure I do a quick on topic picture or post in an already existent thread

Or start a thread about a humorous but real topic

Not entire new spam threads.

Why not? It's fun.

the only reason why we can go forwards in time is that no one found the reverse gear yet.

heck... we're stuck in Second Gear going forwards... :p

Demetri Martin

“I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed”

Sure I do a quick on topic picture or post in an already existent thread

Or start a thread about a humorous but real topic

Not entire new spam threads.

I've given people laughs on this thread.

Your objections are worthless. The point of the thread is done because of you. Talk about not being funny.

Thus, you are fail.

Why not? It's fun.

Original content can be sure at least there is some creative ability then

Demetri Martin

“I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed”

"It's just a cardboard box... and I wrote on it in Sharpie "Time Machine""

:p I'm serious though, I put a lot of thought into it, going back in time would be disastrous.

Ok. seriously.

would it?

theoretically, would you going back into time create a branch in the time stream?

Say you go back in time to prevent a personal tragedy. and you succeed.

the timestream will now be.

1) Smunkee has a personal tragedy.
2) Smunkee goes back in time to prevent Tragedy
3) tragedy prevented and smunkee returns to the future where her tragedy didn't happen.

Now what would happen is that you would remember the past where the tragedy happened... but everyone else around you would remember only that the tragedy didn't happen and all events from the point of change.

Original content can be sure at least there is some creative ability then

Apparently you've never visited a chan board. :D

Apparently you've never visited a chan board. :D

I try to avoid them for the most part

"It's just a cardboard box... and I wrote on it in Sharpie "Time Machine""
"It works like this. you sit in it for 60 minutes and when you leave, you're one whole hour into the future!"

Going back in time.... Well I'da changed one thing for sure....

{thinks Back to a lime green pinto}


Of course if I did that then....


Maybe if I....


Nope, I wouldn't change any aspect of my past.... unless I could make Bill Gates adopt me....

I try to avoid them for the most part

The point was that the chan's have provided minimal original content, yet still provide massive hilarity.

I found this thread amazingly hillarious, but I've seen that picture dozens of time.

:p I'm serious though, I put a lot of thought into it, going back in time would be disastrous.

It's just a matter of figuring out how to travel negative distances...

I want to first go back to 9 months before Feb. 18th 1984. That was when I was concept. I want to run into my parents bedroom naked jump up on their bed, scream and yell "I'M YOUR SON, I'M YOUR SON!" and do the tango with my dad! Then I'll go to August 2004 and tell myself not to even think about becoming a Teacher, instead get a BA in airport business, or business.

Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Is the time machine like the one on Napoleon Dynamite

I want to first go back to 9 months before Feb. 18th 1984. That was when I was concept. I want to run into my parents bedroom naked jump up on their bed, scream and yell "I'M YOUR SON, I'M YOUR SON!" and do the tango with my dad! Then I'll go to August 2004 and tell myself not to even think about becoming a Teacher, instead get a BA in airport business, or business.

LOL! don't bother with the second part... your interrupting your parents while they were doing the deed would most likely not end with your conception... :D

I want to first go back to 9 months before Feb. 18th 1984. That was when I was concept. I want to run into my parents bedroom naked jump up on their bed, scream and yell "I'M YOUR SON, I'M YOUR SON!" and do the tango with my dad! Then I'll go to August 2004 and tell myself not to even think about becoming a Teacher, instead get a BA in airport business, or business.

I seem to remember that being very similar to Christopher titus's time travel skit ... I remember something about slapping his dad on the ass on the DVD though

I seem to remember that being very similar to Christopher titus's time travel skit ... I remember something about slapping his dad on the ass on the DVD though

It appears no one gets by your non-originality detector.

I seem to remember that being very similar to Christopher titus's time travel skit ... I remember something about slapping his dad on the ass on the DVD though

Yea I did rip that off from a comedic routine, not sure if it's Christopher Titus though, probably was. That's why I want to do it because it sounds like a great idea! :D

It appears no one gets by your non-originality detector.

Lol I have the dvd I recognized it but for some reason thought it was Leary at first or someone else I know I have heard it before

I am trying to setal down on the picking on people tonight (had a LONG day of coding on very little sleep) but I find it interesting to try and remember the artist (kind of how I like music quizes)

Yea I did rip that off from a comedic routine, not sure if it's Christopher Titus though, probably was. That's why I want to do it because it sounds like a great idea! :D

I am trying to remember if it is him (going through the Norman rockwells beeding DVD as we speek) but it could be one of 3 or four and cant remember exactly even though I can remember part of the skit

Lol I have the dvd I recognized it but for some reason thought it was Leary at first or someone else I know I have heard it before

I am trying to setal down on the picking on people tonight (had a LONG day of coding on very little sleep) but I find it interesting to try and remember the artist (kind of how I like music quizes)

Hmmm......

Which comedian of the Blue Collar Comedy tour that I cannot stand and yet he's fucking popular?

Yea I did rip that off from a comedic routine, not sure if it's Christopher Titus though, probably was. That's why I want to do it because it sounds like a great idea! :D

Aw damn now I remember!

Dane cook!

Hmmm......

Which comedian of the Blue Collar Comedy tour that I cannot stand and yet he's fucking popular?

It was Dane Cook.

It was Dane Cook.

No it's Larry the Cable Guy. I can't stand Larry the Cable Guy.

Hmmm......

Which comedian of the Blue Collar Comedy tour that I cannot stand and yet he's fucking popular?

Foxworthy
Engvall (sp?)
Lary
White

I am guessing Lary

Larry's gonna get you dun.

No it's Larry the Cable Guy. I can't stand Larry the Cable Guy.

No I mean your quote

It was from Dane cook not titus

Larry's gonna get you dun.

Jolt = :(

No it's Larry the Cable Guy. I can't stand Larry the Cable Guy.

Eh?

Ahh yea it was Dane Cook, I like him.

Larry still sucks though.

I agree the only one I like any more honestly is white he was pretty good in person

No I mean your quote

It was from Dane cook not titus

Ahh yea it was Dane Cook, I like him.

Larry still sucks though.

uh.......no. You can't go back in time, it screws up the matter/energy balance, you would negate all reality. We can only go forward in time, and even then we may not be able to affect the speed at which that happens.

Well, if you travel by the speed of light, all kinds of funny stuff happens with time :)

Can I go back to the 70's and buy some apple and Microsoft stock?

and become Michael Jackson's and Hulk Hogan's agent...

I agree the only one I like any more honestly is white he was pretty good in person

I love Ron White, he is the best of the four, followed by Engvall. Foxworthy is done, and I mean done, and he's trying to get his 15 minutes of fame back but at this point he's running up a debt.

I love Ron White, he is the best of the four, followed by Engvall. Foxworthy is done, and I mean done, and he's trying to get his 15 minutes of fame back but at this point he's running up a debt.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y210/stwabobby/1174120752307.jpg

-snip-

Ahh poo. I always dine alone. :(

Time travel. Where even the slightest and most innocent seeming action can have consequences rippling across space-time bringing chaos in it's wake.

I'll go. But I'll need to take three blueberry pies, a roll of duct tape, some chloroform, a laptop packed full of electronic copies of every historical text I can get into it and a vibrating dildo. That should be enough to test my theory. *nod*

Time travel. Where even the slightest and most innocent seeming action can have consequences rippling across space-time bringing chaos in it's wake.

I'll go. But I'll need to take three blueberry pies, a roll of duct tape, some chloroform, a laptop packed full of electronic copies of every historical text I can get into it and a vibrating dildo. That should be enough to test my theory. *nod*

Ok, color me curious, who's your target and what do you plan to do?

Time travel. Where even the slightest and most innocent seeming action can have consequences rippling across space-time bringing chaos in it's wake.

I'll go. But I'll need to take three blueberry pies, a roll of duct tape, some chloroform, a laptop packed full of electronic copies of every historical text I can get into it and a vibrating dildo. That should be enough to test my theory. *nod*

For the last time, if the Devil couldn't tempt him, what makes you think you can with your pies, dildo and 'consequences of Christianity' speech'?

We've been through this before, kidnapping Jesus ain't gonna work!

Actually no. Had we full on pushed the Europeans out, who knows...maybe they would have fucked off for another couple hundred years. Instead, we helped them, especially here in North America, where our help was essential to their survival. Some few resisted right away, but others felt we had enough land to share.

So no. We didn't try that.Actually, you wrong on both accounts in that the Native Americans did not want the Europeans in Virginia, but guess what they stayed and they were able to push the natives back due to superior numbers.

At the same time in current day "Latin" America the native cultures were divided as it was and the Europeans used these divisions to their advantage and made alliances with native tribes against the dominant groups, the Aztecs and Inca, which had been weakened by the European illnesses which had already spread. So when you kind of think of it the Europeans were just able to exploit native divisions to their advantage and as a result were able to conquer much larger populations as a direct result, at the same time these populations had lost massive parts of their groups due to diseases such as smallpox which had been introduced from Europe.

At the same time do not say that they could have been driven out of their bases in the Carribean because at the same time the native populations had already been decimated by European plagues, which they had not immunity, and within a couple decades there were very few left.

For the last time, if the Devil couldn't tempt him, what makes you think you can with your pies, dildo and 'consequences of Christianity' speech'?

We've been through this before, kidnapping Jesus ain't gonna work!

Someone's just having a good day today. :D

I have only done this once before.Technically, if you were successful such a temporal endeavour, it's probable that you have done this nearly infinite times before.

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8361/chinamen4eknb8.jpg

Ok, color me curious, who's your target and what do you plan to do?

I'm going to alter the history of the world through the elaborate use and careful timing of pranks. *nod*

A list of potential targets may(or may not) include:
Jesus
Saint Peter
Caligula
Muhammad
Pope Leo I
ALexander The Great
Confucius
Nostradamus
Several Roman emperors, including Nero, Titus, Constantine,
Charlemagne
Pope Urban II
Pope Gregory VII
Holy Roman Emperor Henry IV
King Philip IV
Martin Luther
King George III
Joseph Smith
Genghis Khan
Vladimir Lenin
Joseph Stalin
Dwight Eisenhower
Golda Meir

...

Jeez, I could go on forever. Still, I think that I can change history for the better through strategic use of adolescent humor. *nod*

For the last time, if the Devil couldn't tempt him, what makes you think you can with your pies, dildo and 'consequences of Christianity' speech'?

We've been through this before, kidnapping Jesus ain't gonna work!

Don't underestimate the power of laughter. :)

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8361/chinamen4eknb8.jpg

*FLORT*

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8361/chinamen4eknb8.jpg

...

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to rent a zeppelin. :(

Jeez, I could go on forever. Still, I think that I can change history for the better through strategic use of adolescent humor. *nod*Yes. It's been done before, at that!
:)

Pfft. I stay in the Far East. All the people on the large double mass of land just east of Hawaii are living in the past. Primitives, the lot of them!!:p