NationStates Jolt Archive


'Clash of Civilisations' is over: Christianity beats Islam 6-2

RLI Rides Again
10-07-2007, 11:57
The Clash of Civilisations ended at the weekend with the Christians thrashing the Muslims by six goals to two. While religious extremists set off bombs across the world, Berlin decided to settle the matter on the football field: ordained priests shed their cassocks and outplayed a team of unhappy-looking Sunni clerics.

Boys from the Jewish community acted as linesmen and even the professional referee looked like a grey-bearded Old Testament prophet. The match was staged in the German capital on the anniversary of the July 7 London bombings and, perhaps more importantly, on the eve of a critical meeting between Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, and members of the Muslim community.

Some Muslim representatives are threatening to boycott the so-called “integration summit” on Thursday in response to a new immigration law, passed last week, which they say discriminates against them. The Government is insisting that Muslim wives who join their husbands in Germany should have a basic knowledge of the language – a demand that has irritated parts of the Turkish community.

The fear on the sidelines of the football match was that nasty tackling by the Christians could further enrage the imams. “It turned out to be a good, fair game,” said the obviously relieved Anglican vicar, the Rev Christopher Jage-Bowler, who helped the Muslims to scratch together their side. But the vicar had apparently failed to spot a priestly foul that allowed an imam to convert the second goal. The first Muslim goal was a dubious affair that seems to have been allowed purely as an ecumenical gesture.

The imams, dressed in long trousers to preserve their modesty according to Koranic teachings, were drawn from Berlin mosques and were of Turkish and Arab origins. The most effective cleric was No 9, Burhan Dundar, a stocky religion teacher at the Islamic primary school. But even his repeated attacks on the Christian goal could not offset the superiority of the priests.

As the imams flagged, some irreverent spectators shouted: “Bring on the Shi’ites.” The mainly Christian crowd clearly wanted more Muslim goals in the interests of world peace and started a chant of :“Im-ams! Im-ams!”

Man of the match was Kai-Uwe Folgner-Buchheister, an evangelical priest who scored repeatedly after receiving long passes from a clergyman with two degrees in theology. A missionary, a Swedish pastor and a Salvation Army major were also part of the team. A Jesuit striker failed to turn up. “It was a problem finding an appropriate day for the match,” Mr Jage-Bowler said. “Friday is out for the Muslims, Saturday is out for the rabbis and we’re rather busy on Sundays.”

The idea of pitting Muslims against Christians began with a charity match in Leicester two years ago. On that occasion the imams had a clear lead at half-time and lent a few Koran scholars to the Christians to even things up a bit. Islam beat Christianity nonetheless 6-0.

The under-12s game was also won by the Muslims after sudden-death penalties. The Leicester model was imported by Mr Jage-Bowler, who was concerned about how thin the dialogue had become between the two religions in Germany. It has now been tried out in Dortmund – where the Christians succeeded in upsetting the Muslims by bringing on women priests – and a game will be staged in Frankfurt soon.

The Berlin game was ushered in by a Salvation Army band playing “Jesus loves me/ this I know/ because the Bible tells me so”, but there were no other potential flashpoints. The proferred meatballs were made from beef and not pork and even the apples came from a Turkish greengrocer.

“This is something we would like to repeat at least every year, at school level too,” said Mr Jage-Bowler.

From here. (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2045336.ece)

I couldn't help but be reminded of Monty Python's International Philosophy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrShK-NVMIU). :)

In an attempt to stop this being classified as spam, what are your thoughts on this? Could it serve a useful role in encouraging dialogue? Should the same approach be applied to politics?
Forsakia
10-07-2007, 12:00
There is a parliamentary football team.

I say we replace all wars, courts, and other methods of dispute resolution with this.
UN Protectorates
10-07-2007, 12:02
There is a parliamentary football team.

I say we replace all wars, courts, and other methods of dispute resolution with this.

The UN can provide the referee's.
Nodinia
10-07-2007, 12:04
There is a parliamentary football team.

I say we replace all wars, courts, and other methods of dispute resolution with this.

Only if the Irish can use hurleys.
Steely Glint
10-07-2007, 12:18
There is a parliamentary football team.

I say we replace all wars, courts, and other methods of dispute resolution with this.

Brazil would be the new superpower.
Andaras Prime
10-07-2007, 12:34
I think it would be good for the Muslim and Christian communities in Europe and elsewhere to come together, it was after all during the Enlightenment that becoming a Muslim was 'in fashion' in Europe.
Ifreann
10-07-2007, 12:35
Brazil would be the new superpower.

America would be less than amused with it's new place in the scheme of things.
Swilatia
10-07-2007, 12:38
Brazil would be the new superpower.

No, there's going to be more than one superpower if things work this way.
Andaras Prime
10-07-2007, 12:39
America would be less than amused with it's new place in the scheme of things.

I say solving problems with a good game of cricket would be better.
Vandal-Unknown
10-07-2007, 12:45
Well, we'll be handing the reigns of power to... jocks.
Steely Glint
10-07-2007, 12:46
Well, we'll be handing the reigns of power to... jocks.

Better than cheerleaders having them ;)
Ifreann
10-07-2007, 12:54
I say solving problems with a good game of cricket would be better.

I think we need a sport that all the politicians are equally terrible at.

Dance Dace Revolution perhaps.
Bodies Without Organs
10-07-2007, 13:01
From here. (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2045336.ece)

I couldn't help but be reminded of Monty Python's International Philosophy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrShK-NVMIU). :)

Reminds me more of the way that Bradford University's Peace Studies course has a match against King's College London's War Studies course each year...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6611631.stm
Steely Glint
10-07-2007, 13:01
Reminds me more of the way that Bradford University's Peace Studies course has a match against King's College London's War Studies course each year...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6611631.stm

I love the Blackadder reference at the end of the article.
Turquoise Days
10-07-2007, 13:38
A Jesuit striker failed to turn up. “It was a problem finding an appropriate day for the match,” Mr Jage-Bowler said. “Friday is out for the Muslims, Saturday is out for the rabbis and we’re rather busy on Sundays.”
This made me smile.
Anthil
10-07-2007, 13:48
I fondly remember getting wiped out by the Pink Floyd team many years ago.