NationStates Jolt Archive

Absolutely amazing!

Supergoat!

You've seen Lassie. A dog that saves humans from mortal peril. She either dives in lakes to drag them out, or she summons help from nearby humans.

You may think any other animal can be trained the same way. But a goat seems a bit different. Add to that a goat climbing to a rooftop, and things start to get strange.

Jack Dobbs, a 35 year old builder from East Sussex, was doing some work on the roof of his house when his pet goat started wandering around near the ladder. Fearing the goat would knock the ladder over, Jack pulled the heavy ladder up onto the roof. As he pulled the last few inches up, he fell heavily onto the claws of his hammer and the blow was such that he became unconscious.

Then the goat lept into action.

Just like Lassie, the goat, named Rifraff, knew something was wrong when his owner stopped moving. He bleeted to alert anyone who was nearby, but the neighbours had heard the goat bleet before and decided to ignore it, and Jack's wife was in town.

Apparently realising that there were no humans around to assist Jack, the goat seemingly climbed first onto a wooden box by the shed, then onto the shed its self, which was next to the house. The goat then, according to a neighbour who saw the goat from across the road but couldn't see Jack because he was on the other side of the triangular roof, took a run-up and lept 5 or so feet onto the roof. Then using either its horns or mouth, Rifraff dragged Jack to the other side of the roof so that neighbours could see and started to bleet again. The neighbour who had first seen the goat, Jackie Simms, immediately rushed out then called 999. The Fire Brigade and Ambulance Service arrived and Jack regained consciousness and is now back at home.

Jack told us :"There's no way Rifraff could have climed the shed. He must have jumped on the box then jumped up, but how he got across the gap is amazing - it's at least five feet - I guess he was desperate to save me"

Goats are incredible.

I for one welcome our new best friends: Goats. :D

Eh, not suprised by the goat getting on the roof at all, really. They are pretty much mountain/hill animals, and are naturally adept those kinds of climbs and leaps.

That, and the obligatory:

I for one welcome our new goat overlords.

I for one welcome our new best friends: Goats. :D

Until they poop on your couch.

Oh, link please so I can show my friends who don't go here!

Also, goats are fucking awesome.

Absolutely amazing!

I for one welcome our new bearded overlords.

All of a sudden I really want a pet goat.

Wow, just...wow

:)

and here I thought my cat always being my personal body guard whenever i left the house was amazing:D

This has made my day!

I thought the thread title was "God Saves Man's Life".

Erm, isn't it the goat's fault in the first place? He wandered near the ladder. So the man took the ladder up and had the injury.

Guess it's time for goat stew. Anyone else have goat meat recipes?

PS. Jolt hates me.

I thought the thread title was "God Saves Man's Life".

Erm, isn't it the goat's fault in the first place? He wandered near the ladder. So the man took the ladder up and had the injury.

Guess it's time for goat stew. Anyone else have goat meat recipes?

PS. Jolt hates me.

And now I hate you:mad:

It was the man's fault, he didn't realise the goat was amazing.

And now I hate you:mad:

It was the man's fault, he didn't realise the goat was amazing.
No, the goat felt that he caused the injury so he had to do something.

Still, I'm in for some goat stew.

No, the goat felt that he caused the injury so he had to do something.

Still, I'm in for some goat stew.

Please stop being so mean:(

If you had just saved someone's life, and they ate you for it, how would you feel?

Please stop being so mean:(

If you had just saved someone's life, and they ate you for it, how would you feel?

Tasty

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=154928

Is there anything a goat can't do? Goats are truly God's greatest gift to man.

http://www.authorsden.com/PoetryImage/154928.jpg

Please stop being so mean:(

If you had just saved someone's life, and they ate you for it, how would you feel?
I'll eat him because he put me in that morass in the first place, not because he saved my life. But then, I'll probably derive more money in showcasing his jumping capabilities... But then, if he can jump that high, then his muscles are fleshy, and meaty, and... tasty.

Tasty
:eek: You feel tasty, Dundee?

Was he trying to eat the ladder? I'm impressed that he jumped from one pitched roof to another.

I think he deserves a medal. I mean he did make a mistake at first, but he sure made up for it! Think of the book deals!

Please stop being so mean:(

If you had just saved someone's life, and they ate you for it, how would you feel?

A man's walking down a country lane when he sees a remarkable pig in a field. The pig has three ordinary legs and a wooden one. The man, curiosity aroused by this sight, tracks down the farmer and asks why the pig has a wooden leg. The farmer says “Oh see that pig, that pig's amazing. Once our house caught fire during the night and we would have all died if it wasn't for that pig. He smelled the smoke and battered our door down. He shot up the stairs and woke me up. We were able to get everyone out in time.”
“Wow!” says the man “But why has he got a wooden leg?”
“Another time” says the farmer “My youngest daughter fell in the river and would have drowned but that pig jumped over its fence, dove into the river, grabbed the back of her t-shirt and pulled her to safety. An incredible, brave and clever pig that one” he says.
“Again – Wow!” says the man “But why has he got a wooden leg?”
“Well” begins the farmer “When you've got a pig like that, you don't eat it all at once”

:D

Tasty

:(

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=154928

Is there anything a goat can't do? Goats are truly God's greatest gift to man.

http://www.authorsden.com/PoetryImage/154928.jpg

:D My respect for goats has increased greatly.

Goats have crazy amounts of energy. :p Neat story.

That, and the obligatory:

I for one welcome our new goat overlords.

I for one welcome our new bearded overlords.

Great work guys, three versions on the first page :D

Hooray for supergoat!

Oh, and link please. I want to share that.

A man's walking down a country lane when he sees a remarkable pig in a field. The pig has three ordinary legs and a wooden one. The man, curiosity aroused by this sight, tracks down the farmer and asks why the pig has a wooden leg. The farmer says “Oh see that pig, that pig's amazing. Once our house caught fire during the night and we would have all died if it wasn't for that pig. He smelled the smoke and battered our door down. He shot up the stairs and woke me up. We were able to get everyone out in time.”
“Wow!” says the man “But why has he got a wooden leg?”
“Another time” says the farmer “My youngest daughter fell in the river and would have drowned but that pig jumped over its fence, dove into the river, grabbed the back of her t-shirt and pulled her to safety. An incredible, brave and clever pig that one” he says.
“Again – Wow!” says the man “But why has he got a wooden leg?”
“Well” begins the farmer “When you've got a pig like that, you don't eat it all at once”

:D

What a horrible joke:( Truly anyone who would do this is...is..is well....JUST MEAN!! :mad:

It's like saying:-
"This man is truely amazing, he's risked his own life on three seperate occasions to save people he doesn't even know or love!"
"So why are you mutilating and ass raping him?"
"Ah well you don't just kill a man like this straight away!"

:eek: You feel tasty, Dundee?

Yup. Even without the chocolate sauce and whip cream topping

I read this as 'Groat saves man's life...'

Yup. Even without the chocolate sauce and whip cream topping
I hereby christen you "Tasty Dundee".

What a horrible joke:( Truly anyone who would do this is...is..is well....JUST MEAN!! :mad:

It's like saying:-
"This man is truely amazing, he's risked his own life on three seperate occasions to save people he doesn't even know or love!"
"So why are you mutilating and ass raping him?"
"Ah well you don't just kill a man like this straight away!"

Eh. I don't think anyone would actually do that. The expense of adding progressively more prosthetic limbs would be more than the value of the pig itself in thelong run. :p

BAAAAHHHH
"What is it Billy?"
BAAAAHHHH
"Uncle WIlburt has fallen intot he well?"
BAAAAHHHH
"Bt I don't have an uncle Wilburt..."
BAAAAHHHH
"No really BIlly I don't have an..."
Goat headbutts kid.
"Ouch.. okay okay, I guess I have an uncle Wilburt now."

Great work guys, three versions on the first page :D

Thank you, thank you.

Heehee experiment completed.

After noticing the amount of "news" stories with no links to them around here, I thought I'd make up a load of bollocks and see how many people believed it if I put it in a quote box and made it look like a real news story (or tried to)

Glad U Liked Looking Into Bollocks Lively Especially

Goats are incredible.

Quebec Foxtrot Tango