NationStates Jolt Archive


Your New Job

Remote Observer
06-07-2007, 18:10
As Condom Tester ('http://www.wavy.com/Global/story.asp?S=279984&nav=23iiCUY1')

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) - For some it's a dream job: condom tester. Australian condom-maker Durex is recruiting 200 adults as product testers. Both male and female Australians are invited to apply for the positions. And their applications are to include an explanation of why they would make an "expert" condom tester. Durex says each member of its condom panel will receive a pack of Durex sex products and a chance to win a thousand Australian dollars. There's no pay for the job of condom tester, but just think about the fringe benefits.

So, tell me, in oh so many words, why you would make an excellent condom tester. Just write what you would put on your application to Durex.

I actually think these people should be paid - and given business cards.

When the various men and women show up to work, they should have to have sex with one another - not work at home.
Dundee-Fienn
06-07-2007, 18:13
When my school was organising work experience one guy was sent to a drug testing centre that had viagra testing on the go. Sounds like a dream job
Nivalc
06-07-2007, 18:33
were do I get an aplication for this? I would love to be a condom tester!:D
JuNii
06-07-2007, 19:35
So, tell me, in oh so many words, why you would make an excellent condom tester. Just write what you would put on your application to Durex.

my qualifications?

1) I observe all safety rules, wearing protective gear all the time.
2) I can work under pressure
3) I am a self starter
4) I work equally well in a group, partnership, or alone
5) I hard on my staff and will keep pumping till the jobs done
6) I don't consider the job done until everyone is satisfied
7) I always clean up my messes
8) I have experience working with some real pricks and dick-heads.
9) I'm never afraid to go deep into my work
10) I'm not afraid to learn new techniques or styles of work.
11) I always know when and what to keep things under my hat.
Call to power
06-07-2007, 19:48
"not tonight honey I'm too tired" :D
JuNii
06-07-2007, 19:50
"not tonight honey I'm too tired" :D

"work just has me beat tonight..."
Brutland and Norden
06-07-2007, 19:51
Just be sure your partner for the day doesn't have crabs. Y'know, crabs can be transmitted even with a condom...

"What are you doing? Sex on the job?"
"Yes, boss. This is our job."
Tappee
06-07-2007, 19:54
They are most likely looking for the dumbest people around. They would be looking for those people that would use it outside its normal limits in every way imaginable and then some to see how it stands up under extereme situation.

They can test is the lab durability, but they can't test for how stupid people are
Brutland and Norden
06-07-2007, 19:55
They are most likely looking for the dumbest people around. They would be looking for those people that would use it outside its normal limits in every way imaginable and then some to see how it stands up under extereme situation.
Inflating condom balloons for a party?
Tappee
06-07-2007, 19:57
Inflating condom balloons for a party?

I saw a man put one around his head once, it is on the internet some where.
Call to power
06-07-2007, 19:57
"we work hard, we play hard" (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KYx4qJ4BU)

should I be worried that popped into my head? :p
Dundee-Fienn
06-07-2007, 19:58
Inflating condom balloons for a party?

Chewing flavoured ones instead of gum *nods*

It's only acceptable when they're free I swear
Rubiconic Crossings
06-07-2007, 19:59
Would that really work in a chat up line?

Hi...you're my test subject and man do I have some serious experiments in mind...


brrr

tacky
Dundee-Fienn
06-07-2007, 20:02
It would suck a bit if you were in the test group whose condoms failed
JuNii
06-07-2007, 20:03
Inflating condom balloons for a party?

... that is how they test condoms you know...

http://www.azom.com/work/wdH5UdKJsdCpPEf4YE3q_files/image005.jpg
Brutland and Norden
06-07-2007, 20:03
I saw a man put one around his head once, it is on the internet some where.
I'd be more amazed if it is a used condom that he put around his head.

Chewing flavoured ones instead of gum

It's only acceptable when they're free I swear
It's free after it is used. Chew away. :D

We used to have that nagging question of why do condoms have flavors. Then somebody answered, "Well, it doesn't always have to go there..."

Yum.
Brutland and Norden
06-07-2007, 20:05
... that is how they test condoms you know...
I remembered a Brazilian ad wherein a old lady blows condom balloons for a birthday party while her grandson snickers. It's a commercial for an optometrist/eye clinic, if I can remember it correctly...
Remote Observer
06-07-2007, 20:09
IWe used to have that nagging question of why do condoms have flavors. Then somebody answered, "Well, it doesn't always have to go there..."

Yum.


Call me when they've made a flavor (Febreze?) that overcomes the taste of ass.
Remote Observer
06-07-2007, 20:12
I'd imagine you would taste it before anal sex

You never know with some people...
Call to power
06-07-2007, 20:12
Call me when they've made a flavor (Febreze?) that overcomes the taste of ass.

I'd imagine you would taste it before the anal sex
Carnivorous Lickers
06-07-2007, 20:18
I could test them, but I dont want another scene like the time i was trying them on in the store.
they arent exactly "one size fits all".
Ilie
06-07-2007, 21:58
When my school was organising work experience one guy was sent to a drug testing centre that had viagra testing on the go. Sounds like a dream job

Yeah, unless it gave you one of those erections that you need surgery to fix.
Nivalc
06-07-2007, 22:37
Yeah, unless it gave you one of those erections that you need surgery to fix.

that must suck, having surgery down there...:eek: