NationStates Jolt Archive

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

People who don't like football.

She's all....hmmm whats the right word.....English ;)

He has horrible taste in music.

When they worry more about material things then about life!

She's all....hmmm whats the right word.....English ;)

I know that pain, mate. :D

Enforced boredom. You know, that's when you're somewhere or doing something where you must behave in a certain way. Church is a good example. No matter how dull or uninteresting church is, n matter how long the pauses are, you can't fill in the intervening time running around, waving your arms everywhere and attempting to tackle the altar boys. Apparently, the catholic priests have dibs on them. :eek: Oops!

Another place is on the job. Fortunately, I have the sort of job that encourages silliness. Many of you aren't so lucky. If you don't have nything to do, you are expected to wait and do nothing. Often, they allow no reading material or other distractions, yet when you start wrapping office supplies, furniture and/or co-workers in bubble wrap, the boss has a fit.

It's not fair. :(

Any time I ride with him anywhere...Fall Out Boy. Blasting loud enough to bust your eardrums.

The fact that she's not nearly as committed to this relationship as I am.

Enforced boredom. You know, that's when you're somewhere or doing something where you must behave in a certain way. Church is a good example. No matter how dull or uninteresting church is, n matter how long the pauses are, you can't fill in the intervening time running around, waving your arms everywhere and attempting to tackle the altar boys. Apparently, the catholic priests have dibs on them. :eek: Oops!

Another place is on the job. Fortunately, I have the sort of job that encourages silliness. Many of you aren't so lucky. If you don't have nything to do, you are expected to wait and do nothing. Often, they allow no reading material or other distractions, yet when you start wrapping office supplies, furniture and/or co-workers in bubble wrap, the boss has a fit.

It's not fair. :(

Ohhh wot fun job do you do then?

If she drinks milk regularly.

I can't stand boys who whine. Really hate them. Married one that doesn't whine and the other side of the spectrum is a bit annoying as well, like Tuesday when I had to drag his ass to the doctor and force him to stay home from work while he was sick. He would pick up and go to work and do it without complaining, because "that's what needs to be done"

:rolleyes:

If she drinks milk regularly.

What's wrong with that?

His laziness drives me up the wall sometimes :(

The new "I look so cute when I pretend I'm dumb like Paris Hilton" attitude.

I can't stand boys who whine. Really hate them. Married one that doesn't whine and the other side of the spectrum is a bit annoying as well, like Tuesday when I had to drag his ass to the doctor and force him to stay home from work while he was sick. He would pick up and go to work and do it without complaining, because "that's what needs to be done"

:rolleyes:

Ohh yeah, heh that reminds me, I also can't stand it when the woman can't make her mind up!:rolleyes:

I can't stand boys who whine. Really hate them. Married one that doesn't whine and the other side of the spectrum is a bit annoying as well, like Tuesday when I had to drag his ass to the doctor and force him to stay home from work while he was sick. He would pick up and go to work and do it without complaining, because "that's what needs to be done"

:rolleyes:

Congrats, you've married a real "Man" (as the people of yester-generation tells us), not much like them are left.

On the other hand, he's lucky to have you to support his macho bravado.

Ohh yeah, heh that reminds me, I also can't stand it when the woman can't make her mind up!:rolleyes:

yeah, that's a bit annoying for us too, because our boys get so annoyed.

luckily I have a boy that will tell me what I think, and then when he is wrong I decide.

"I don't know if I want to wear the black dress or the red one"
"you want to wear the red one"
"nope" *puts on black dress*

yeah, that's a bit annoying for us too, because our boys get so annoyed.

luckily I have a boy that will tell me what I think, and then when he is wrong I decide.

"I don't know if I want to wear the black dress or the red one"
"you want to wear the red one"
"nope" *puts on black dress*

Heheh yeah that seems just about the way it goes!

What's wrong with that?

Milk creeps me out.

Milk creeps me out.

Ah.

Milk creeps me out.

Damn right! Wot with it's unusual whiteness, and the creamy top, and them damn brightly coloured tops. Worse than clowns I tells ya!

Her nonexistence. :p

Well, actually, I'm okay with that. I just wanted to post. *nods*

Ohhh wot fun job do you do then?

I'm a professional clown. :)

I'm a professional clown. :)

Really? Nice!:D

Really? Nice!:D

So I do different gigs, mostly birthday parties. Occasionally something bigger like a parade or a grand opening of a store. Lately, I've been one of the clowns on Mitt Romney's election committee. Now it all makes sense, eh? ;)

When girls refuse to tell you what they want to do (especially when they get mad about it later.)

Guy: "Where do you want to eat?"
Girl: "I don't care."
Guy: "Do you like Thai food, we can eat at Cozy Noodle."
Girl: "Okay, thats fine. Lets go."

Later...

Girl: "I didn't want to eat Thai food and you knew it but you took me there anyway!"

AAAAHHH

It doesn't make them look nice or anything, it just makes it look like they are incapable of making decisions for themselves and that they are totally apathetic to everything.

Paranoia

So I do different gigs, mostly birthday parties. Occasionally something bigger like a parade or a grand opening of a store. Lately, I've been one of the clowns on Mitt Romney's election committee. Now it all makes sense, eh? ;)

Mitt? Romney? That's some kinda baselball glove?

How does one become a clown I wonder, did ya have to go to clown school or summit?

Getting out of the house to be somewhere early.

You think women take a long time? I want to be somewhere at 10, better plan on arriving at noon.

When girls refuse to tell you what they want to do (especially when they get mad about it later.)

Guy: "Where do you want to eat?"
Girl: "I don't care."
Guy: "Do you like Thai food, we can eat at Cozy Noodle."
Girl: "Okay, thats fine. Lets go."

Later...

Girl: "I didn't want to eat Thai food and you knew it but you took me there anyway!"

AAAAHHH

It doesn't make them look nice or anything, it just makes it look like they are incapable of making decisions for themselves and that they are totally apathetic to everything.

I've never done that. If asked where I want to go and I honestly don't have anything in mind, I let him suggest and then I either say, ya, that sounds good and go with, or "Nah, how about...."

I always speak up if I don't feel like/have eaten at recently/would prefer another cuisine.

I never bitch later.

I've never assumed men were mindreaders. If I have a problem, I say directly, "I don't like..." whatever.

This has, on occasion, made some people claim I am stuck-up, bitchy, whatever.

At least I have my opinion considered like an adult.

Mitt? Romney? That's some kinda baselball glove?

Similar personalities, yes. :)

How does one become a clown I wonder, did ya have to go to clown school or summit?

It's a bit like vampirism. When you're taken by a clown, three nights later, you are doomed to rise as one of them. *nod*

Some are born clowns. Some achieve clownness. And some have clownness thrust upon them.

*nods*

Some are born clowns. Some achieve clownness. And some have clownness thrust upon them.

*nods*

Sigged. :)

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

I wouldn't know, I've never had a significant other. But if the girl I like (who I think likes me) counts, then it's when she's hyperactive. But I just say "Have you been taking your crazy pills again?" (It makes her laugh).

The new "I look so cute when I pretend I'm dumb like Paris Hilton" attitude.

That's not new. There have been girls pretending to be dumb for ages. And that's one of the things that I really can't stand.

<Snip>Hush, Kat, you stuck-up, bitchy whatever :p

My wife has a tendency to speak technobabble. I don't blame her for wanting to talk work. I do too. But I at least try to do it in English. I suspect she thinks it's fun making me feel like a mental midget.

Something I really can't stand, though, and something that pertains a bit to what you wrote, kat, is my wife's cultural hangovers. She's from Southwestern Asia, and damnit.. The poor girl's been fucking taught not to have an opinion. Ever. About anything.
I wish I could say culture X is as good as culture Y, but it's just not true. Those ass-backwards cultures seriously fuck people up. Not that it's her fault. I obviously couldn't love someone who didn't recognise the sick shit, and wasn't fighting to rid herself of it's influence. But it still breaks my fucking heart. And drives me mad on occasion - like when she thought I was about to leave her cute ass, just because I'd been doing the chores for a couple of weeks.
I'm sure it makes me entirely too protective of her too. Nothing but fucking headaches. Idiot paternalistic religious nutters :mad:

I'll never understand how parents, who claim to love their offspring, can make themselves indoctrinate their children like that. It's pure evil.

Hush, Kat, you stuck-up, bitchy whatever :p

My wife has a tendency to speak technobabble. I don't blame her for wanting to talk work. I do too. But I at least try to do it in English. I suspect she thinks it's fun making me feel like a mental midget.

Something I really can't stand, though, and something that pertains a bit to what you wrote, kat, is my wife's cultural hangovers. She's from Southwestern Asia, and damnit.. The poor girl's been fucking taught not to have an opinion. Ever. About anything.
I wish I could say culture X is as good as culture Y, but it's just not true. Those ass-backwards cultures seriously fuck people up. Not that it's her fault. I obviously couldn't love someone who didn't recognise the sick shit, and wasn't fighting to rid herself of it's influence. But it still breaks my fucking heart. And drives me mad on occasion - like when she thought I was about to leave her cute ass, just because I'd been doing the chores for a couple of weeks.
I'm sure it makes me entirely too protective of her too. Nothing but fucking headaches. Idiot paternalistic religious nutters :mad:

I'll never understand how parents, who claim to love their offspring, can make themselves indoctrinate their children like that. It's pure evil.

It makes her fit into their culture -- not so much into ours.
Just keep encouraging her to give you her opinion on stuff.

Similar personalities, yes. :)



It's a bit like vampirism. When you're taken by a clown, three nights later, you are doomed to rise as one of them. *nod*

sounds kinky...

it takes 3 days to rise again? Impressive.

sounds kinky...

it takes 3 days to rise again? Impressive.

Knocked my socks off. :)

Hush, Kat, you stuck-up, bitchy whatever :p

My wife has a tendency to speak technobabble. I don't blame her for wanting to talk work. I do too. But I at least try to do it in English. I suspect she thinks it's fun making me feel like a mental midget.

Something I really can't stand, though, and something that pertains a bit to what you wrote, kat, is my wife's cultural hangovers. She's from Southwestern Asia, and damnit.. The poor girl's been fucking taught not to have an opinion. Ever. About anything.
I wish I could say culture X is as good as culture Y, but it's just not true. Those ass-backwards cultures seriously fuck people up.

Heh according to the teachings and ways of your culture?

It makes her fit into their culture -- not so much into ours.
Just keep encouraging her to give you her opinion on stuff.Yes well, obviously :p

It's easier said than done though. Doesn't help that I'm a willfull, impulsive bastard either.

EDIT:

Heh according to the teachings and ways of your culture?Difficult to say. I'm not terribly fond of my own culture, I'm equally at odds with the one I'm living in, and I think most people would consider me part of the local counter culture. But I'm obviously strongly influenced by both.

Still, I don't think there's anything positive to be said for cultural values that teaches people to be submissive and anti-self conscious. My wife is the most important person in the world to me. If she was just the most important person in the world, period, then I don't see what love, or any feelings at all, would have to do with it. I hope it's obvious to you that feelings are required for happiness to exist, and, silly as it may be, I'd like people to enjoy full, happy lives.

Her culture goes out of it's way to prevent just that, and for that, I hate it. And no, I don't think it's the least bit unreasonable to hate something that prevents people from being everything they can be. It's why I hate my own culture too. It's the same shit, just less extreme.

Knocked my socks off. :)

There is a bad joke in here somewhere about having the seed of clowning planted deep within onesself.

But I, being of pure mind, would never say it.

sounds kinky...

it takes 3 days to rise again? Impressive.

Knocked my socks off. :)

Clown ED? It generally takes me less than half an hour :p

Heh according to the teachings and ways of your culture?

Oh come on. Any culture that doesn't promote gender equality is inherently flawed. There's no getting around that. It's one of the things that makes me mad about Indian culture.

Oh come on. Any culture that doesn't promote gender equality is inherently flawed. There's no getting around that. It's one of the things that makes me mad about Indian culture.

And you can objectivly prove that this is the case, rather than say your own cultural bias?

Clown ED? It generally takes me less than half an hour :p

Then you're doing it wrong. ;)

There is a bad joke in here somewhere about having the seed of clowning planted deep within onesself.

But I, being of pure mind, would never say it.

Good thing too. This thread was getting a bit naughty. *nod*

Good thing too. This thread was getting a bit naughty. *nod*

NSG: What sexual harassment policy?

And you can objectivly prove that this is the case, rather than say your own cultural bias?

Are you suggesting that gender inequality is right?
If a culture promoted mass murder, would their culture automatically be "ok" because there's no objective way to say "mass murder is bad"?

Are you suggesting that gender inequality is right?
If a culture promoted mass murder, would their culture automatically be "ok" because there's no objective way to say "mass murder is bad"?

No I'm not suggesting anything other than, before we go slagging of other cultures or pointing out the flaws in other cultures we need to make sure that out thoughts on such subjects do not contian our own cultural bias.

Ask yourself why is it that all cultures think that theirs is the best?
I think that equlity for all humans is a must, but I also realise that this is my own cultural bias, I'm English multicultralisim is what we do.

If a woman of a certian culture has been brought up to not express an opinion, and she is happy with that, do we have the right to force her into our cultural mindset?

No I'm not suggesting anything other than, before we go slagging of other cultures or pointing out the flaws in other cultures we need to make sure that out thoughts on such subjects do not contian our own cultural bias.

Ask yourself why is it that all cultures think that theirs is the best?
I think that equlity for all humans is a must, but I also realise that this is my own cultural bias, I'm English multicultralisim is what we do.

If a woman of a certian culture has been brought up to not express an opinion, and she is happy with that, do we have the right to force her into our cultural mindset?

No. We don't have the right to force her into our cultural mindset. However, we should make her options known to her, and available for her, should she choose to leave her cultural mindset either for ours or for another.

I'm not an advocate of forcing anyone to do anything. But everyone should know what their options are, and be able to take those options if they choose to.

No I'm not suggesting anything other than, before we go slagging of other cultures or pointing out the flaws in other cultures we need to make sure that out thoughts on such subjects do not contian our own cultural bias.Why? Ask yourself why is it that all cultures think that theirs is the best?Social cohesion and self preservation. I think that equlity for all humans is a must, but I also realise that this is my own cultural bias, I'm English multicultralisim is what we do.Are you suggesting that because those values are taught by your culture, they're not worth striving for? If a woman of a certian culture has been brought up to not express an opinion, and she is happy with that, do we have the right to force her into our cultural mindset?The right? I think we're obliged to try in any and every way that don't harm people. There's nothing wrong with being submissive, but to be so, you have to have the right and space not to be. Only then can you be submissive. If it's simply expected of you, and nothing else is tolerated, then you're a slave.

EDIT: You might want to go back and read my edit. I didn't anticipate the postcount explosion, so I refrained from making a new post.

No. We don't have the right to force her into our cultural mindset. However, we should make her options known to her, and available for her, should she choose to leave her cultural mindset either for ours or for another.

I'm not an advocate of forcing anyone to do anything. But everyone should know what their options are, and be able to take those options if they choose to.

Then if this woman does not mind the inequality of her culture, if indeed she does not feel harmed by it, then could it be said to be wrong?

Hush, Kat, you stuck-up, bitchy whatever :p

My wife has a tendency to speak technobabble. I don't blame her for wanting to talk work. I do too. But I at least try to do it in English. I suspect she thinks it's fun making me feel like a mental midget.

Something I really can't stand, though, and something that pertains a bit to what you wrote, kat, is my wife's cultural hangovers. She's from Southwestern Asia, and damnit.. The poor girl's been fucking taught not to have an opinion. Ever. About anything.
I wish I could say culture X is as good as culture Y, but it's just not true. Those ass-backwards cultures seriously fuck people up. Not that it's her fault. I obviously couldn't love someone who didn't recognise the sick shit, and wasn't fighting to rid herself of it's influence. But it still breaks my fucking heart. And drives me mad on occasion - like when she thought I was about to leave her cute ass, just because I'd been doing the chores for a couple of weeks.
I'm sure it makes me entirely too protective of her too. Nothing but fucking headaches. Idiot paternalistic religious nutters :mad:

I'll never understand how parents, who claim to love their offspring, can make themselves indoctrinate their children like that. It's pure evil.

Heh, my girlfriend loves it when I use "technobabble." Any remote affiliation with geekiness and intelligence drives her wild, and I do mean in a good way. ;)
She does have that annoying little habit of hiding her opinions from me. She isn't from Asia, but she was always berated for her opinion, even after it was asked of her. It's annoying that I have to nag to find out what she thinks. If I didn't, sometimes she just wouldn't talk to me at all. :(

Then if this woman does not mind the inequality of her culture, if indeed she does not feel harmed by it, then could it be said to be wrong?Yes. Because it's not voluntary, and even should she never change her mind, her peers may not feel the same way.

That people are equal doesn't mean they have to behave like equals. Only that they have the opportunity to do so, if they want.

As to the OP:
I find stupidity annoying in any person, no matter their relationship to me. Stupidity, bigotry, materialism. Three big issues that come to mind.

Then if this woman does not mind the inequality of her culture, if indeed she does not feel harmed by it, then could it be said to be wrong?

I can still believe it to be wrong, without wanting to force her to change if she is happy with it.

Why?

Because if we don't we fail to understand why others are the way they are, we do not understand why they may do things that may seem aborant to our way of thought, gained from our culture, we may get the wrong idea and act in a manor not condusive to to peacfull co-existance.


Social cohesion and self preservation.

I would have been more basic. Because it is the only way we know, because we are all products of our enviroment, because our way has worked for generations, and because we all get pissed of when somebody rags on our culture.


Are you suggesting that because those values are taught by your culture, they're not worth striving for?

No again, I'm only suggesting that we look deeply at our reasons before we go slagging of other cultures, and that we try to look at things objectivly and not through the skin of our own cultural biases.


The right? I think we're obliged to try in any and every way that don't harm people. There's nothing wrong with being submissive, but to be so, you have to have the right and space not to be. Only then can you be submissive. If it's simply expected of you, and nothing else is tolerated, then you're a slave.

EDIT: You might want to go back and read my edit. I didn't anticipate the postcount explosion, so I refrained from making a new post.

Ohh I agree, but again I'll ask how did you come to this belife. Can you show it to be an objective moral truth, or is it your cultural bias?

Yes. Because it's not voluntary, and even should she never change her mind, her peers may not feel the same way.

That people are equal doesn't mean they have to behave like equals. Only that they have the opportunity to do so, if they want.

And again, is it your culture that determins this belife? Also if she feels no harm has been done to her, then shouldn't she be the one to determine wether she is being harmed or not?

Are you not guilty of forceing upon her your own cultural bias, by insiting that she has been harmed, and telling her that she somehow is not capable of making up her own mind on the subject, because she has been oppressed and does not know the truth?

That strikes me as doing exactly to her what you insist should not be done.
Either she has the freedom of her own thoughts and feelings or she does not.

I can still believe it to be wrong, without wanting to force her to change if she is happy with it.

Yeah thats what I would say also. But if she does not belive it to be wrong, then who is correct, and how can we show this at the same time leaving culture out of it?

Yeah thats what I would say also. But if she does not belive it to be wrong, then who is correct, and how can we show this at the same time leaving culture out of it?

That I'm not sure about.

I can't stand boys who try to change me nor can I stand boys who refuse to argue with me.

Not knowing what he's thinking...and getting monosyllabic responses constantly. Bleh. Fucking men. I'm sick of them.

Well, no, not really. But I'm going to focus on women for a while. The last thing most women are is tight-lipped and unreadable emotionally :p

Yeah thats what I would say also. But if she does not belive it to be wrong, then who is correct, and how can we show this at the same time leaving culture out of it?
But she might not think it's wrong because that's what she knows. It's her own cultural bias to it. And can the suppression of individuality, of individual thought and consciousness ever be considered right? That is to say that people are no more than objects, and should be treated as such. I don't believe that to be the case, culture notwithstanding.
Not knowing what he's thinking...and getting monosyllabic responses constantly. Bleh. Fucking men. I'm sick of them.

Well, no, not really. But I'm going to focus on women for a while. The last thing most women are is tight-lipped and unreadable emotionally :p

Mine is.

Mine is.
Ugh. Well, I'll be sure to implement a screening process :D

Ugh. Well, I'll be sure to implement a screening process :D

LOL It's a habit for her. I'm breaking her of it. ;) Only works with me, though. Besides, taken women should be excluded from your search anyway! :eek: :p

LOL It's a habit for her. I'm breaking her of it. ;) Only works with me, though. Besides, taken women should be excluded from your search anyway! :eek: :p

Don't worry! I'm not out to scoop your girl!

Because if we don't we fail to understand why others are the way they are, we do not understand why they may do things that may seem aborant to our way of thought, gained from our culture, we may get the wrong idea and act in a manor not condusive to to peacfull co-existance.Arh, complicated shit! Honestly, I think culture is irrelevant. The reason it sometimes plays a role, I think, is because some people lack the capacity to realize they aren't the epitome of humanity, and that it's not necessarily a great think to kill and main people into an image of oneself. I don't, for example, think a certain female US pundit's rants has anything to do with her cultural values. I think it's about her ego. And perhaps that the midwife played footy with her skull.I would have been more basic. Because it is the only way we know, because we are all products of our enviroment, because our way has worked for generations, and because we all get pissed of when somebody rags on our culture.Well, that's the same as I said. You're just being more verbose ;) No again, I'm only suggesting that we look deeply at our reasons before we go slagging of other cultures, and that we try to look at things objectivly and not through the skin of our own cultural biases.Fair enough, but I wasn't talking about cultural conquest, and I'll be the first to admit my own are anything but perfect.Ohh I agree, but again I'll ask how did you come to this belife. Can you show it to be an objective moral truth, or is it your cultural bias?There's no such thing as an objective moral truth. There's just us. But that's also the basis for my opinion. Cultures should empower the individual, not limit it. Everything else is abominable in a world of 6.6 billion human beings. If some of us weren't human beings, I might not have a problem with cultural values oppressing or limiting certain behaviour in the non-humans, but it would depend on the nature of the non-humans.

If you can't unequivocally prove that the lives of all individuals wouldn't be better without oppressive cultural value X, then cultural value X is unjustifiable and should not exist.
Is it cool to condemn killing? Yes, because killing hurts people.
Is it cool to condemn sex before marriage? No, because it doesn't hurt people, and individuals can easily elect not to have premarital sex if they want.

And again, is it your culture that determins this belife? Also if she feels no harm has been done to her, then shouldn't she be the one to determine wether she is being harmed or not?

Are you not guilty of forceing upon her your own cultural bias, by insiting that she has been harmed, and telling her that she somehow is not capable of making up her own mind on the subject, because she has been oppressed and does not know the truth?

That strikes me as doing exactly to her what you insist should not be done.
Either she has the freedom of her own thoughts and feelings or she does not.I didn't write anything about forcing her to change or do anything at all. I simply wrote that whatever she does should be voluntary. That's taking away force, not applying it. I don't care how anyone lives, only that they choose to do so freely.

You can be as submissive as you want, it just needs to be voluntary, both for you to know what you're doing, and to ensure nothing happens to you against your will. And you'll presumably enjoy your submissiveness more if you know it's freely given.

As for cultural bias, maybe. I can't even begin to guess out how you'd determine such a thing. But if you teach me how to verify that, I'll be more than happy to do it.

Small talk :rolleyes:

He seems to be under the impression that I'm a mindreader.

I can think of theoretical things which would piss me off, but I don't think I'd chose a partner with those characteristics (the main ones being arrogance or a lack of compassion)...

I can get frustrated when he "puts on his fix-it hat" when I'm feeling down and all I really want is a hug, but I know his intentions are clearly good. And I can get hurt when he withdraws during the crux of an emotional issue/argument/etc, but I know that's just a protective measure and I can understand that. So both things I can "stand", only very occasionally actually get annoyed about, and would rather work them out :)

Other than those kinda things to do with relationships (and if you have something like that, talk about it and try to sort it rather than moaning to forum people!), I don't really get bugged by habits. Only things would be talking over dramatic/emotional films or music, and tapping, but I'm not too bad about them.

I've never done that. If asked where I want to go and I honestly don't have anything in mind, I let him suggest and then I either say, ya, that sounds good and go with, or "Nah, how about...."

I always speak up if I don't feel like/have eaten at recently/would prefer another cuisine.

I never bitch later.

I've never assumed men were mindreaders. If I have a problem, I say directly, "I don't like..." whatever.

This has, on occasion, made some people claim I am stuck-up, bitchy, whatever.

At least I have my opinion considered like an adult.
I'm not as good (yet! I'm learning...) at consistently doing that, but on the occasions when I do screw up, once I've realised in my head that it's my damn fault for not speaking up about something, I'll admit it and take the "blame" for causing a silly situation.

-snip-
Haven't seen you around in aaaaaages... Hows you? :fluffle:

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

Racists, homophobes, extremist religious people, and the like, and somehow, despite being a white heterosexual male, I seem to attract them all. Might have to do with the earring in my right ear...

But she might not think it's wrong because that's what she knows. It's her own cultural bias to it. And can the suppression of individuality, of individual thought and consciousness ever be considered right? That is to say that people are no more than objects, and should be treated as such. I don't believe that to be the case, culture notwithstanding.



Yeah I understand all of this, but when you say you 'don't belive that to be the case', where does this belife come from? Can you say for certian that it is not your cultural bias, and that if you come for a differant culture that you would not hold this beliefe?

Not knowing what he's thinking...and getting monosyllabic responses constantly. Bleh. Fucking men. I'm sick of them.

Well, no, not really. But I'm going to focus on women for a while. The last thing most women are is tight-lipped and unreadable emotionally :p

Heh it's the same for us, except opposite(does that make sense?) My wife thrills with telling me every little detail of how her day has gone. And expects me to be both greatly interested and reprociprcal into the bargin. Sometimes I just have to be cruel, stop her mid flow, say how tired I am and tell her plainly 'darlin' I love you, but I'm a bloke, I have a male brain, why don't you call one of your girl friends'

Heh slaps all round, but I quite enjoy that!

That I'm not sure about.

And that is my point.

I didn't write anything about forcing her to change or do anything at all. I simply wrote that whatever she does should be voluntary. That's taking away force, not applying it. I don't care how anyone lives, only that they choose to do so freely.

You can be as submissive as you want, it just needs to be voluntary, both for you to know what you're doing, and to ensure nothing happens to you against your will. And you'll presumably enjoy your submissiveness more if you know it's freely given.

As for cultural bias, maybe. I can't even begin to guess out how you'd determine such a thing. But if you teach me how to verify that, I'll be more than happy to do it.

Ahhh perhaps my words come off stronger than I anticipated. When I said you, I meant of course the generic you.

Yeah again I agree, it is one of the tenants of my life that if I demand the right to live my life how I want(with societies laws, etc..) then I would be a hypocrit if I did not extend that same rule to everybody else.

Heh I wouldn't know, I only advocate that we try. Maybe it is impossible to look at any thing without cultural bias, maybe the best we can get is some sort of cross cultural understanding.

When they actually expect you to call them.

My situation is unusual, in that my lover is myself. And it's a tempestous, love and hate relationship. I love myself, wilfully and helplessly. Love doesn't run smooth, but I don't waste time either, or identify any faults that I haven't fixed already.

EDIT: Go on, laugh your guts up. I read the OP and the first page, then the last two posts, and thought the thread was "gut-wrenchingly honest lovelorn self-flagellation Mk. MCXII"

Laugh at me. Please?

Laugh! Or I'll leave him. And he'll leave me. And we'll both be all lovelorn and lonely in the same ache-ey breaky body. Don't mess with my hearts, NSG!

*takes crazy pill*

Nothin' to lose, huh?

What I hate in people I care for:

When they do something stupid to make me fix it.
When they introduce me to people as "their friends" but really they are matchmaking.
When they give me irrelevant advice that they really mean for themselves.
When they do things that they really mean me to do, ie "role modelling."
When they chat about stuff neither of us cares about.
When they talk seriously about any variety of Rugby.
When they adjust my clothing or pick lint off me.

On the upside, I like:

Being slapped on the bum. It's only happened once.
Being given stuff for no reason, even if it is worthless.
Being berated about stuff that I have no clue about and is not my fault.
Being tricked into doing embarassing or humiliating things.
Being kissed suddenly and without warning. Not so much as a social ritual.

... well, the "I like" list could just go on for ever.

Don't worry! I'm not out to scoop your girl!
Oh, I know. I was just being a smartass. :p

I can think of theoretical things which would piss me off, but I don't think I'd chose a partner with those characteristics (the main ones being arrogance or a lack of compassion)...

Haven't seen you around in aaaaaages... Hows you? :fluffle:

That's because I haven't been around in aaaaaages. ;) I'm quite well. Happy and all for the moment. lol
And you?

Yeah I understand all of this, but when you say you 'don't belive that to be the case', where does this belife come from? Can you say for certian that it is not your cultural bias, and that if you come for a differant culture that you would not hold this beliefe?

It comes from my analysis of people and varying philosophies. Culture be damned, I just can't conceive of it being right to force people into a cultural mindset, to repress an individuality they might prefer, if they were allowed to taste it and decide for themselves. I can't really say I would define such a person as being "alive" without some significant measure of free will and choice. At least the person could decide for himself if he wanted to hold opinions on things or not. Or if he wanted to share them. Or share any of his thoughts. He isn't simply told that he must not because it isn't acceptable to everyone else. If he observes this, and decides to follow suite, it's one situation altogether. But being told he must follow this one paradigm is something I find to be inhumane.

I'm not as good (yet! I'm learning...) at consistently doing that, but on the occasions when I do screw up, once I've realised in my head that it's my damn fault for not speaking up about something, I'll admit it and take the "blame" for causing a silly situation.

Do you have an older sister? A woman who does that would be a nice change of pace.;)

Not knowing what he's thinking...and getting monosyllabic responses constantly. Bleh. Fucking men. I'm sick of them.

Well, no, not really. But I'm going to focus on women for a while. The last thing most women are is tight-lipped and unreadable emotionally :p
It wouldn't be so bad it you did not have to create this huge web of lies in order to convince a girl that you are not just there to bang her.

People who don't like football.

People who like football.

Do you have an older sister? A woman who does that would be a nice change of pace.;)
Uh, sadly not :p Though, either way, you should probably check with PM that I'm not talking rubbish :p

On a serious note, if any guy really cares, they can help a women they're with communicate better. And pretty much anyone (ie guys too!) could do with some help communicating better. Usually, it's simply that people don't take the time to figure out what they're actually thinking and feeling, what they actually want and need from their partner. Also, people often don't feel comfortable communicating, even after years and years together, but they assume they should be able to and push away the issue, or they decide they're doomed and will never be able to find an understanding, or generally just don't bother working at it.

That's because I haven't been around in aaaaaages. ;) I'm quite well. Happy and all for the moment. lol
And you?
Yeah, well... stating the obvious is an easy task for a tired mind :p
Glad to hear it :) fingers crossed it stays that way!
Pretty well. Ill at the moment, and generally busy with college and stuff, but fairly happy and liking life :)

I can't stand boys who whine. Really hate them. Married one that doesn't whine and the other side of the spectrum is a bit annoying as well, like Tuesday when I had to drag his ass to the doctor and force him to stay home from work while he was sick. He would pick up and go to work and do it without complaining, because "that's what needs to be done"

:rolleyes:

Well, gee whiz, there's just no pleasing you, now, is there? If he whines, complains, looks for excuses to stay home in bed, calls in sick because he sneezed one time, and expects to be waited on hand and foot when he's even slightly ill, he's a horrible whiner and isn't much of a man.

On the other hand, if he slogs to work every day even when he can barely speak, has laryngitis, muscle fatigue, a fever, a broken leg, the Ebola virus, or whatever else may afflict him, and yet he works normally and doesn't take medicine, he's a stubborn jackass who doesn't take care of himself.

Sadly, 99% of men seem to fit into one of these two categories, it seems. And it's pretty evenly split as far as head count in each group.

OK, OK, so that's not quite cut and dry like that. But it sure seems like it.

Vacuous people.

"Are you, Laertes, like a painting of a sorrow, a face without a heart?"

I'm a little vain myself, but I genuinely loathe people with no intellectual or emotional depth.

What else?

People who don't like Morrissey; demonstrates a complete lack of taste:p

Theres only one thing that my boyfriend does that really winds me up - he can talk on the phone for hours. I use the phone for "Pub. 10 minutes. Bye." - I lose interest in long conversations, especially when I'm trying to do something else at the same time. He uses it to tell me about every single event that happened in his day whilst he's on the bus home (why can't he wait til he gets home and tell me then?!). Besides, I can't hear half of it anyway because theres too much background noise.

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

When you go down on your partner, and they hold the covers down over your head, and fart.

I don't like it when people seem to intentionally misrepresent what you try to say, twisting your arguements to suit their own agendas.

I don't like it when people seem to intentionally misrepresent what you try to say, twisting your arguements to suit their own agendas.

Welcome to NS General.

I don't like it when people want to abolish human phenotypical diversity.

I don't like it when people want to abolish human phenotypical diversity.

Over the course of human history, it's been very popular.

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

well the two things i really can't stand in general are chewing loudly, and bad teeth. thankfully my gf doesn't do either of those (and when she does sometimes eat loudly she usually notices herself and quitens down :p)

there's really little that she does that irritates me or that i "can't stand". i guess sometimes i don't like making all the decisions and get tired of hearing "i don't know/mind" but its ok and not a big deal. and we're both getting better at it :)

mostly she's just fantastic and lovely and any little things that are difficult to deal with (eg. getting amazingly flustered and upset trying to choose a bag in a bag shop... :P) are totally worth it :) she's worth caring for, supporting, loving and is just lovely :fluffle:

the thing that gets to me most - that i 'can't stand' - isn't something she does, just when we disagree on some things and sometimes i feel very distant from her. probably just because i take a lot of things way too personally and stuff :p learning to deal with it...


oh, i don't like fish/cheese breath :p

well the two things i really can't stand in general are chewing loudly, and bad teeth. thankfully my gf doesn't do either of those (and when she does sometimes eat loudly she usually notices herself and quitens down :p)
I do try! :p

there's really little that she does that irritates me or that i "can't stand". i guess sometimes i don't like making all the decisions and get tired of hearing "i don't know/mind" but its ok and not a big deal. and we're both getting better at it

the thing that gets to me most - that i 'can't stand' - isn't something she does, just when we disagree on some things and sometimes i feel very distant from her. probably just because i take a lot of things way too personally and stuff learning to deal with it...

As I said in my post, things like that are things to talk about and work on, and I'm glad we do :)
*hugs*

mostly she's just fantastic and lovely and any little things that are difficult to deal with (eg. getting amazingly flustered and upset trying to choose a bag in a bag shop... :P) are totally worth it :) she's worth caring for, supporting, loving and is just lovely :fluffle:
Awwww, well, aren't you a sweetie? :P :fluffle:

oh, i don't like fish/cheese breath :p
It was fish/egg.... :p and it was smoked salmon so it was totally worth it ;) :p

It was fish/egg.... :p and it was smoked salmon so it was totally worth it ;) :p

not when you were kissing me like that............ it was like kissing a very stinky fisherman who liked eggs a little too much :p

not when you were kissing me like that............ it was like kissing a very stinky fisherman who liked eggs a little too much :p
lol!!! :p
too funny :P

but, i do now carry around polos whereever i go ;)

lol!!! :p
too funny :P

but, i do now carry around polos whereever i go ;)

i read poos..... it wasn't a nice thought :eek: :D

When girls refuse to tell you what they want to do (especially when they get mad about it later.)

Guy: "Where do you want to eat?"
Girl: "I don't care."
Guy: "Do you like Thai food, we can eat at Cozy Noodle."
Girl: "Okay, thats fine. Lets go."

Later...

Girl: "I didn't want to eat Thai food and you knew it but you took me there anyway!"

AAAAHHH

It doesn't make them look nice or anything, it just makes it look like they are incapable of making decisions for themselves and that they are totally apathetic to everything.

Wait, wait, wait.

Cozy Noodle? Do I detect an Evanstonian?

People who like football.
Agreed.
On a serious note, if any guy really cares, they can help a women they're with communicate better. And pretty much anyone (ie guys too!) could do with some help communicating better. Usually, it's simply that people don't take the time to figure out what they're actually thinking and feeling, what they actually want and need from their partner. Also, people often don't feel comfortable communicating, even after years and years together, but they assume they should be able to and push away the issue, or they decide they're doomed and will never be able to find an understanding, or generally just don't bother working at it.


Yeah, well... stating the obvious is an easy task for a tired mind :p
Glad to hear it :) fingers crossed it stays that way!
Pretty well. Ill at the moment, and generally busy with college and stuff, but fairly happy and liking life :)
We do that! :D

I noticed. ;)
I'm sure it will. At least until a week from Friday. My girlfriend is gonna be here for until then. Just two more days until I get to see her.

Vacuous people.

"Are you, Laertes, like a painting of a sorrow, a face without a heart?"

I'm a little vain myself, but I genuinely loathe people with no intellectual or emotional depth.
Always a bother.
I don't like it when people seem to intentionally misrepresent what you try to say, twisting your arguements to suit their own agendas.

I do that all the time! XD

Welcome to NS General.
Quite.
I don't like it when people want to abolish human phenotypical diversity.
What about those who want to abolish genotypic diversity? There is a legitimate concern there as well.
well the two things i really can't stand in general are chewing loudly, and bad teeth. thankfully my gf doesn't do either of those (and when she does sometimes eat loudly she usually notices herself and quitens down :p)

there's really little that she does that irritates me or that i "can't stand". i guess sometimes i don't like making all the decisions and get tired of hearing "i don't know/mind" but its ok and not a big deal. and we're both getting better at it :)

mostly she's just fantastic and lovely and any little things that are difficult to deal with (eg. getting amazingly flustered and upset trying to choose a bag in a bag shop... :P) are totally worth it :) she's worth caring for, supporting, loving and is just lovely :fluffle:

the thing that gets to me most - that i 'can't stand' - isn't something she does, just when we disagree on some things and sometimes i feel very distant from her. probably just because i take a lot of things way too personally and stuff :p learning to deal with it...


oh, i don't like fish/cheese breath :p

What you said. Except for the food/teeth thing. Although, I do hate it when people chew with their mouths open. She doesn't do that, though.

Everyone has a particular thing they can't stand when dating another person. It may be how someone chews their food, it could be how they dress. So I guess the question is: What little thing can't you stand about your spouse/significant other?

i was married for 10 years,i loved my wife more then any in the world.
we are best friends to this day,after another 10 years of being divorced.

i have to say the one thing that drove me insane was she never stopped talking!
i like to talk,but i would walk in the door and i was barraged with trivial nonsence till i went to bed.
i understood and tried to explain that i realized she was home all day with the kids and wanted to talk to an adult,but when i was done a stressful day,and they all were,could i please have a little time to wrestle with the kids,unwind and not have to think.
she would say yes,but i swear she could not help herself..it drove me nuts!
i lasted for an easy 5 years convincing myself that it would pass,but i found myself making excuses to avoid her,and it created major guilt issues for me,but jeez,why cant you just sit and relax?
we would watch a movie and she would not stop talking,it drove me insane.
she was not like that before we got married,so i dont know if she was bored or what,but all i needed was a half hour to regroup and decompress.
then she could talkto me allnight,but it was non-stop,quite un nerving.

It was fish/egg.... :p and it was smoked salmon so it was totally worth it ;) :p

That's what they all say! :eek: :p
On a slightly less serious note, smoked salmon is quite good. It does have a strong flavor, though.