NationStates Jolt Archive

On the plus side, maybe it'll be one of those things the critics hate but every normal person loves.

http://movies2.nytimes.com/2007/07/02/movies/02tran.html?ref=movies

Oh, just FYI, there's one or two spoilers in the review.

Boys and their toys are in full formation in “Transformers,” a movie of epically assaultive noise and nonsense. Originating with the shape-shifting toys — created in Japan, rebranded in America — that transform from robots into stuff like cars and planes, then back again, the movie has been designed as the ultimate in shock-and-awe entertainment. The result is part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts.

a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and...big breasts.


This is a bad review? :p

all this proves is that the person didn't really watch the film.

clash with an ominous helicopter that converts into a mysteriously angry critter with an articulated tail like that of a scorpion. I didn't see the film yet, but this sounds like he just merged two characters into one.

but not compulsively so. Mr. Bay allows himself to linger here and there, which explains the bloated,Good. sounds better that Spider-man 3 where the action is flash, zip, pow then someone sails out to smash into a pipe/wall/ceiling... mind you this is all within 2 seconds.

On the face of it “Transformers” is a story as old as the Greeks versus the Trojans, I challange this reviewer to find any action flick that isn't as old as [person/group 1] vs [person/group 2].

Curiously, though the toys originated in Japan, no robot changes into a Toyota.oh that you can blame marketing. American auto companies probably didn't charge or infact paid for the producers to use their brands/models for the movie.

These walking, talking dolls register as less human and believable than the Transformers, which may be why they were even allowed inside this boy’s club. and here I thought you said it was because of their "Big Breasts" :rolleyes:

The movie waves the flag equally for Detroit and the military, ... Didn't see the movie yet, but I thought the "military" transformers were the bad guys. hardly flag waving.

Maybe that’s because the company didn’t want to be represented by a character that promises to blow itself up for the greater good, as Optimus does, especially one based on a child’s toy. 1) you saying that no auto company wanted to be represented by a character that would sacrifice itself for alien beings?
2) thanks for the spoiler. realize that most people won't see this untill the 3rd or 4th... who is this @$$hole anyway?

Hollywood action movies bend this way and that politically in a bid to please as many viewers as possible, but they almost always play out exactly the same, as entertaining violence leads to heroic individualism leads to the restoration of order. “Transformers” is no different,I challange the review to name any violent "good vs evil" movie that is different.

along with plugs for Burger King, Lockheed Martin, Mountain Dew and the Department of Defenseyep... heaven forbid that those companies allowed their products to be used in a movie. :rolleyes:

MANOHLA DARGIS, thank you for re-affirming my promise NOT to trust professional movie reviewers

On the face of it “Transformers” is a story as old as the Greeks versus the Trojans,They had Transformers in Ancient Greece?! Woah, those guys are cooler than I thought.

The reviewer should be castrated for appalling grammar. The Transformer story isn't as old as the Illiad, but the plot might be. Silly reviewer. Does he/she get paid for this?

Honestly, if I'm going to see something like Transformers, I'm not very concerned about plot, or characters...or consistency, really. I came for big robot smashings.

a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts.
So it's a must see then?

Honestly, if I'm going to see something like Transformers, I'm not very concerned about plot, or characters...or consistency, really. I came for big robot smashings.

the true "Robot Wars!" :p

I was going to get it when it came out on DVD but the reviewer swooned me with the promise of large boobies.

"Professional" movie reviewers are made of fail, mainly because they try to be as outrageous and controversial as possible, rather than critical and unbiased, as they are supposed to be.

Every single over-hyped movie gets a few bad reviews before it comes out, there will be a big kerfuffle amongst the prospective audience, then it will break Box Office records.

This guy probably had some kind of chip on his shoulder, and only watched the film to try and spot any kind of product placement or advertisement, and when he didn't, he just made it up.

He might also be some liberal guy who's Anti-military and connected the American soldiers that appear in the movie with "Z0MG! Teh Military! It's a recruitment ad!"

I must see it.

They had Transformers in Ancient Greece?! Woah, those guys are cooler than I thought.

The reviewer should be castrated for appalling grammar. The Transformer story isn't as old as the Illiad, but the plot might be. Silly reviewer. Does he/she get paid for this?

Didn't you know? After the Iliad and the Odyssey, Home wrote his last epic: "The Transformers". Because Odysseus survived his journeys, the gods punished men with a race of iron, steel, and shiny, shiny chrome.

2) thanks for the spoiler. realize that most people won't see this untill the 3rd or 4th... who is this @$$hole anyway?


It's hardly fair to call that a spoiler. Optimus Prime died in the tv show in 1986 for fuck's sake. It's not exactly a secret.

Watched it last night, loved it. Those breasts aren't very big but they are very nicely formed on a grade A piece.

Ahhh reviews I stopped taking any note of them whats so ever years ago, after reading a review for Sailing the sea of cheese by Primus, I went right out and bought it, took it home slid it out of it's sleeves, wacked it on the turntable and it was shit.

To this day I think I have played it about 5 times.

The question really is, what are you expecting from the film? If you're expecting about what you should from an 80s cartoon that was based on a toy line, complete with explosions and the like, then you probably won't be disappointed. Michael Bay will no doubt provide you with what you're hoping for. If you're expecting a story with some depth and characters that rise from 2 dimensions, you're probably going to be disappointed. Bay doesn't do nuance very well. He doesn't do much other than explosions very well, frankly.

The NY Times critic seems to have made the mistake of looking at this as though it were a film instead of an 8th grader's dream come to life.

Critics....

1) It's the Transformers.
2) Michael Bay.

Anybody who has genuine expectations going into that movie, beyond "Ooh shiney robot make boom-pow explosions!", is kidding themselves.

Myself, I consider the shiney robot boom-pow explosions to be a lovely early birthday gift. Wewt.

I didn't see the film yet, but this sounds like he just merged two characters into one.

Yeah. I haven't seen it either, but that idiot just merged Blackout and Scorponok.

1) It's the Transformers.
2) Michael Bay.

Anybody who has genuine expectations going into that movie, beyond "Ooh shiney robot make boom-pow explosions!", is kidding themselves.

Myself, I consider the shiney robot boom-pow explosions to be a lovely early birthday gift. Wewt.

Himself is one lucky man.

Didn't you know? After the Iliad and the Odyssey, Home wrote his last epic: "The Transformers". Because Odysseus survived his journeys, the gods punished men with a race of iron, steel, and shiny, shiny chrome.

Heh.

Optimus Prime helping at the siege of Troy.

Megatron fighting Hercules.

Unicron slaying Zeus.

Greek myth was cool enough on its own, just think how awesome it would be with those!

The result is part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts.

My decision to 'avoid like plague' may be reversed, then so.....

Heh.

Optimus Prime helping at the siege of Troy.

Megatron fighting Hercules.

Unicron slaying Zeus.

Greek myth was cool enough on its own, just think how awesome it would be with those!

Sounds like a job for Peter Griffin.

Transformers was an awesome movie, it wasn't heavy on the plot (as most people expected) but had wonderful special effects and from what I know it stayed true to the plot of the original series. Overall a great film

1) It's the Transformers.
2) Michael Bay.

Anybody who has genuine expectations going into that movie, beyond "Ooh shiney robot make boom-pow explosions!", is kidding themselves.

QFT. A summer action flick I normally would care less about, if it weren't for the part of my childhood that it involves. Honestly, I'd even go see it if they hadn't taken away Megatron's cannon.

QFT. A summer action flick I normally would care less about, if it weren't for the part of my childhood that it involves. Honestly, I'd even go see it if they hadn't taken away Megatron's cannon.

From what I've heard, after a severe fan backlash, they gave Megatron a cannon and energy flail that extends from one of his arms. Not quite the fore-arm mounted Black Mega Cannon we came to know and love but...

From what I've heard, after a severe fan backlash, they gave Megatron a cannon and energy flail that extends from one of his arms. Not quite the fore-arm mounted Black Mega Cannon we came to know and love but...

It's an overcompensating gun that blows things up.

I think I'll live.

a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and...big breasts.

...and?

Sounds like a job for Peter Griffin.

You win.

The review is made of fail...JuNii already tore it apart better than I could have.

I saw the movie last night, and I was very happy with the film. It's probably the first I've seen in the theatres in years where I wasn't disappointed, or pissed that I had spent $9 on a piece of crap.

The plot is as simple as you would expect, but it doesn't detract from the movie. The acting is solid, and the actors make good use of what the script gives them. The special effects are top notch...and of course the women are lovely. :)

About the only complaint I have is that a better director than Bay wouldn't have cut around so much during intense action sequences. It was sometimes hard to tell just what was going on. All in all though I was very impressed.

8.5/10...I plan to see it one more time in the theatres, and I'll probably buy it on DVD at some point.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS - READ AT OWN RISK - DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!: I was a little disappointed that the Decepticons weren't really "expanded upon" as characters when compared to the Autobots, but they touched on enough for any fan of the cartoon to smile knowingly.

Some people have said they focused too much on the humans, and made the movie too much about them and not the Transformers...especially with unnecessary humor. Some of the humor was groan worthy, but a lot was really good, and I personally felt that the human characters had to get a good share of the focus of the first movie, considering two sequels have already been green lit. This is really their only chance to introduce any major human characters.

I hope they replace Bay, to be honest. He's not terrible by any means, but this could definetly be much better as well.

I would love to see Spielberg helm this franchise.

*Scorpinok retreats from battle and is never seen again, and an editing goof leaves Barricade unaccounted for at the end. Two inconsistencies I was perfectly willing to overlook, again, given the sequels.

*There is product placement...a lot of it...and it's blatant as hell. If this bothers you, tough. I simply ignored it.

*Watch the end credits, they splice in a few brief scenes...the Witwicky parents are probably the worst thing in the film, but there is some nice setup for the next film.*

...so yeah, good flick. :p

I was going to get it when it came out on DVD but the reviewer swooned me with the promise of large boobies.

Same. Before I was like, "Eh, I'll see it with some friends, maybe. I mean, it's transformers." But boobs? I didn't know there would be boobs.

The result is part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts.
Where do I sign?

Same. Before I was like, "Eh, I'll see it with some friends, maybe. I mean, it's transformers." But boobs? I didn't know there would be boobs.
"Nice rack"
http://www.supermegatopia.com/tmbgr/gallery/thunderblast.jpg

It's hardly fair to call that a spoiler. Optimus Prime died in the tv show in 1986 for fuck's sake. It's not exactly a secret.

He died early in the animated movie. Then they brought him back in the tv show.

Get your cartoon facts straight Nazz! :p ;)

Juni, you're a horrible human being.

oh that you can blame marketing. American auto companies probably didn't charge or infact paid for the producers to use their brands/models for the movie.

They paid for it. It's been in the Detroit papers for a while.

The movie waves the flag equally for Detroit and the military,

Detroit could use a bit of it

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/40/Detroit_flag.png/250px-Detroit_flag.png

I'm going to go watch the movie tonight. Watching robots blow things up is always entertaining.

What's a professional movie critic doing reviewing a movie like this anyways? If I had a lot of experience in film and film history, I'd be pretty damn insulted if someone wasted my abilities on a movie where the whole point is entertainment.

In fact, it makes them look like a pretentious fool who can't differentiate a film from a movie.

I go to movies to enjoy them nowadays, instead of just criticizing them.. its cool if other people want, but I dont care what they think so long as I actually enjoy a movie.. :D

They had Transformers in Ancient Greece?! Woah, those guys are cooler than I thought.

The reviewer should be castrated for appalling grammar. The Transformer story isn't as old as the Illiad, but the plot might be. Silly reviewer. Does he/she get paid for this?

There isn't anything wrong with the grammar there...

You seem to be criticizing his choice of words, which is not a question of grammar in this case, but of semantics. You're also wrong in criticizing the semantics.

You realize that when you grammatikjuden do this, when you ham-handedly attempt to correct grammar but fail and really don't, that you get put on ze train to ze grammarkontszentrazionkampfe

What's a professional movie critic doing reviewing a movie like this anyways? If I had a lot of experience in film and film history, I'd be pretty damn insulted if someone wasted my abilities on a movie where the whole point is entertainment.

In fact, it makes them look like a pretentious fool who can't differentiate a film from a movie.

It's his job, it pays the bills, and it gets him a spot near the top of the film food chain.

You can do a lot worse in life than film critic for the New York Times.


ETA: At any rate, it is just Manola Dargis, the Times' second-tier film critic.

*There is product placement...a lot of it...and it's blatant as hell. If this bothers you, tough. I simply ignored it.

Is it worse than iRobot?
Like
"Hey, my 2008 Dodge Viper turns into a giant robot!"
"I wonder if it will run on Chevron gas."

"Nice rack"
http://www.supermegatopia.com/tmbgr/gallery/thunderblast.jpg

That proves it. What's better than robots and boobies? Robots with boobies!

Is it worse than iRobot?
Like
"Hey, my 2008 Dodge Viper turns into a giant robot!"
"I wonder if it will run on Chevron gas."

Can't be any worse than putting a Hemi in the Fantasticar.

They had Transformers in Ancient Greece?! Woah, those guys are cooler than I thought.

The reviewer should be castrated for appalling grammar. The Transformer story isn't as old as the Illiad, but the plot might be. Silly reviewer. Does he/she get paid for this?

Oh yeah, that whole people inside the Horse thing was BS...the horse was a transformer...:p

Wait, wait, wait...did she just try to bring politics into her review of Transformers?

Because if she did, she needs to be bitchslapped...over and over again.

ze train to ze grammarkontszentrazionkampfe

I think Grammatikkonzentrationslager would be the appropriate word, actually. ;)

Dudes, it was all kinds of bad.

No, it didn't stay much with the original story line, which is whatever, happens. But instead of replacing it with something easy they phoned things in, and that's really the bottom line of most of the problems with the movie, phoning it in.

"We lost the All Spark, went looking for it. Then, something. Found it on eBay or whatever."

The character design was so busy, and Bay is still using the kinetic filming style that worked in Raiders of the Lost Arc, but action filming has evolved. In addition, with busy character design and kinetic (shaky) camera, the action becomes a jumble, I went from watching robots fight to something akin to Andy Capp fighting his wife. I'm sure something was happening, just not what.

The first lines out of Jazz's mouth-oh my fucking god. Someone's dad wrote this, like trying to be hip and sell me milk at the same time. Not that he gets many more to redeem himself.

And speaking of Jazz, what the fuck? Half way through the 'big fight' and he's just sitting on the street in car mode, chillin. Bumblebee has been fucked the hell up and Sam has to tell him to get out of the way? And talk about a footnote death. I felt more compasion when fucking Porkins died in Star WarsAnd what the hell is Ratchet for? Doesn't show up to help BB, can't fix his voice box, can't fix Jazz...did he lie on his resume to get the job?

Ironside is apparently all show and no gun, except to do flips. One line between Megatron and Starscream is supposed to be that their dynamic was in place. The 'one line' effort was everywhere. Megatron's gun was the Godzilla cop out (in the American Godzilla he didn't have flame breath, but he 'blew' a couple of cars that caught fire and formed a fire ball for the cop out), he starts to form a gun before someone, and you can hardly ever tell who, hits him.

The finale makes damn little sense. "Lets take this fight in the middle of the city for no fucking reason." And that's the good guys plan...

Opening the door for a kick ass car chase between the cop Decepticon and Bumblebee, then practically nothing. In fact the only cool chase deally was Starscream fucking with the fighter jets, which all things considered was actually badass.

If I wasn't at work I'd bitch more.

Yes I watched it for action and for things turning into giant robots. It failed at even that base line requirement.

And did they really only kill the 'black' robot?
If you're going to bitch at me for that you should know that I am not taking it as seriously (on the scale from "really" to "not at all," just below the later) as you are and that you'll have that party alone.

I think Grammatikkonzentrationslager would be the appropriate word, actually. ;)

Danke shon

Just saw the movie today. It did indeed kickass. Also the boobs weren't really that big. Nice, though.

In fact, it makes them look like a pretentious fool who can't differentiate a film from a movie.

What's up with all these elitists types who insist their's a difference between a film and a movie? It's an arbitrary distinction basically designed to make a few people sound much more intelligent and sophisticated than they actually are.

Or is that just me?

Anyway, I'm gonna go see it today.

Dammit, where is your self respect? You deserve a better movie...

Dammit, where is your self respect? You deserve a better movie...

Some people like Big Macs, dude. What can I say?

Some people like Big Macs, dude. What can I say?

But this wasn't even a Big Mac, this was like a crappy Arby's promotional sandwich that no one in their right mind would eat even when it's on the $.89 menu...(see earlier bigger post for specifics)

And again, this isn't me being a film snob-I went in wanting things changing into robots and hitting each other, and it still didn't deliver.

Boys and their toys are in full formation in “Transformers,” a movie of epically assaultive noise and nonsense. Originating with the shape-shifting toys — created in Japan, rebranded in America — that transform from robots into stuff like cars and planes, then back again, the movie has been designed as the ultimate in shock-and-awe entertainment. The result is part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic big breasts.


I give it two thumbs waaaay up :D

Some people like Big Macs, dude. What can I say?

It may be semantics, but I hesitate to call Big-Mac eaters "people."

Dammit, where is your self respect? You deserve a better movie ...

It's easier to handle when you went in without any expectations what-so-ever. I got my explosions, I was happy. I was not expecting a plot, therefore was not terribly disappointed when I didn't get one.

And did they really only kill the 'black' robot?

That was, perhaps, hilarious. In a sick way, sure, but funny all the same.

Also, seriously, how many times can you say "oh shit" in one movie? I mean, come on, you'd think you would have gotten used to it by the second or third time the robot comes and kills your squad-mates in a brutal fashion.

And on an ending note, Frenzy was awesome. :D

it must have been similar to the amount of times Fuck was used in scarface

it must have been similar to the amount of times Fuck was used in scarface

Not quite that bad, but yeah. In Scarface, anyways, it was used so much as to actually take away from the movie, I thought.

Not quite like that in this movie, but enough to garner attention.

It's easier to handle when you went in without any expectations what-so-ever. I got my explosions, I was happy. I was not expecting a plot, therefore was not terribly disappointed when I didn't get one.

Yeah, except the plot was one of the few things I didn't complain about (though they phoned that one in more than anything else)

Yeah, except the plot was one of the few things I didn't complain about (though they phoned that one in more than anything else)

True, true.

I'll admit, though, I liked the movie, but that was because I wasn't expecting anything.

And it always struck me how unfair it was between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Tractor-trailer truck, another truck, two sports cars, versus a Pave Low, that mine-field destroyer-thing, a Raptor, and a cop car. And a tank.

I mean, come on, the tank didn't even have to transform. :p

True, true.

I'll admit, though, I liked the movie, but that was because I wasn't expecting anything.

And it always struck me how unfair it was between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Tractor-trailer truck, another truck, two sports cars, versus a Pave Low, that mine-field destroyer-thing, a Raptor, and a cop car. And a tank.

I mean, come on, the tank didn't even have to transform. :p
Well, that was kinda cool about the series, the Autobots started off on the losing side, they were the underdogs.

And after Pearl Harbor, one can only expect so much from Bay. But no level of expectations can excuse that pandering half-assed, phoned in nonsense that I witnessed. It's not enough to slap the label on the movie, port the transform sound effect and some names for me to lap it up. You have to make at least some effort.

Well, that was kinda cool about the series, the Autobots started off on the losing side, they were the underdogs.

Oh, I agree. I never said it was bad, I just said it was something I've always found interesting.

And after Pearl Harbor, one can only expect so much from Bay. But no level of expectations can excuse that pandering half-assed, phoned in nonsense that I witnessed. It's not enough to slap the label on the movie, port the transform sound effect and some names for me to lap it up. You have to make at least some effort.

I don't recall ever seeing any Bay movies, so I have nothing to compare it to.

Also, at the end, did you notice they were making out on Bumblebee? Does that count as a threesome? (entendre notwithstanding)

Oh, I agree. I never said it was bad, I just said it was something I've always found interesting.



I don't recall ever seeing any Bay movies, so I have nothing to compare it to.

Also, at the end, did you notice they were making out on Bumblebee? Does that count as a threesome? (entendre notwithstanding)

I said this in the other thread, Bumblebee likes to watch.

What, it turned out to be crappy? SHOCKING.

I said this in the other thread, Bumblebee likes to watch.

There's another thread? :eek:

There's another thread? :eek:

Essentially the same discussion. They could be merged but I don't feel like bothering the mods with something so absolutely trivial. It's easy to find, it's called "Transformers:The Movie"