NationStates Jolt Archive

I was snickering at Conservapedia right now, and came across this quote for the article on feminism (Which is a lot less biased then I would guess. It's definitely biased, though.)



"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

-Pat Robertson

So, what's your favorite quote from a fundamentalist of any religion?

Wilfred Owen wrote "dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori", which means "it is sweet and decorative to die for your country" - from some tit at Conservapedia (incidentally, I like how they missed the point of the whole poem)

My fundamentalist uncle once claimed that drilled oil will fill back up within 75 years...





That was the last "debate" I had/will have with him.

Also, check out the article on Feminism on conservapedia. I added one sentence to it. It's not profane or anything, I just made it a little more accurate.

It'll probably be edited out soon.

"God hates _______"-Big Freddie

I was snickering at Conservapedia right now, and came across this quote for the article on feminism (Which is a lot less biased then I would guess. It's definitely biased, though.)



"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

-Pat Robertson

So, what's your favorite quote from a fundamentalist of any religion?

Too bad socialism isn't really like that. :p

Anyways, this site (http://www.fstdt.com/)has a bunch of quotes

This one is hilarious:
"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is. "- CARM

I wonder what all the fat cat preachers say about that :p

I was snickering at Conservapedia right now, and came across this quote for the article on feminism (Which is a lot less biased then I would guess. It's definitely biased, though.)



"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

-Pat Robertson

So, what's your favorite quote from a fundamentalist of any religion?

wow...I'm not really familiar with Pat Robertson and the other Christian fundies so I gotta check that quote out...

"God hates _______"-Big Freddie

tacos? :p

wow...I'm not really familiar with Pat Robertson and the other Christian fundies so I gotta check that quote out...

He also claimed homosexuals are involved with satanists and nazis. And claimed to have altered the weather. He's a riot.

My fundamentalist uncle once claimed that drilled oil will fill back up within 75 years...





That was the last "debate" I had/will have with him.

I'll call that and raise you a "He's a Jew and a fag, so he shouldn't say anything" an idiotic uncle of mine said about a news anchor giving an OP/ED.

http://www.funnystrange.com/quiz/

tacos? :p

We must protest funerals of soldiers! They're protecting a country that condones tacos!

My fundamentalist uncle once claimed that drilled oil will fill back up within 75 years...





That was the last "debate" I had/will have with him.

I received this letter from AiG(answers in genesis, a creationist organization) saying that creating fossil fuels takes only hundreds of years, and we wont run out of oil, because God is compressing things to make more for us. I was like wtf.

I loved how the article about John Lennon dealt with his shooting. It said "Fans worldwide went into a profound mourning, while Democrats demanded increased gun control." They also claim the gun control had a racist origin. Lolz.

This one is hilarious:
"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is. "- CARM



Surely you're not suggesting that this mentality is demonstrative of Conservatives/Religious people in general...

This may be apocryphal, but I remember reading this some years back. Supposedly, at a school board meeting somewhere in the Bible belt, a woman argued against the teaching of foreign languages in schools because, as she put it: "If the English language was good enough for Jesus, Moses, and the apostle Paul, it's good enough for me and our children."

"If the English language was good enough for Jesus, Moses, and the apostle Paul, it's good enough for me and our children."

...

...

.....

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*Laughs insanely*

This may be apocryphal, but I remember reading this some years back. Supposedly, at a school board meeting somewhere in the Bible belt, a woman argued against the teaching of foreign languages in schools because, as she put it: "If the English language was good enough for Jesus, Moses, and the apostle Paul, it's good enough for me and our children."

I've heard similar stories (Though sometimes the 'punchline' is just "English was good enough for Jesus so it's good enough for me") which leads me to think it is apocryphal.


Though all this stories just *might* be based on a real event ;)

EDIT:

Interestingly enough, apparently this theme is commonly attricuted to a certain Miriam "Ma" Furguson, but apparently it can be traced futher then that, 1881

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ma_Ferguson

Surely you're not suggesting that this mentality is demonstrative of Conservatives/Religious people in general...

Just look at the title of the thread, that should really answer that question...

I've heard similar stories (Though sometimes the 'punchline' is just "English was good enough for Jesus so it's good enough for me") which leads me to think it is apocryphal.


Though all this stories just *might* be based on a real event ;)
You underestimate human stupidity, and that of rightwing America. If it was only one person who ever had a lethally stupid thought, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, along with others, wouldn't be on the air. There are tons of them having the same stupid thoughts saying the same, misinformed stupid shit.

If I ever hear or read "we are fighting the mover there so we don't have to fight them here" ever again, I am going to end up in jail after going on a murderous rampage.

Surely you're not suggesting that this mentality is demonstrative of Conservatives/Religious people in general...

Of course he isn't. Not a single quote on this page is supposed to demonstrate or illustrate anything about the Conservatives/Religious in general. Unless you think Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps do that...

Surely you're not suggesting that this mentality is demonstrative of Conservatives/Religious people in general...

Oh I am. The mentality of religious people is limited to believing a load of horse hockey. I hate religion and what it does to people.

This Pat Robertson sounds like a pretty sharp fellow, for an infidel.

This Pat Robertson sounds like a pretty sharp fellow, for an infidel.

who and what are you?

who and what are you?

I'm trying to figure that out myself. Somebody's puppet, pretending to be a Muslim fundie. He's hilarious! :D

You underestimate human stupidity, and that of rightwing America. If it was only one person who ever had a lethally stupid thought, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, along with others, wouldn't be on the air. There are tons of them having the same stupid thoughts saying the same, misinformed stupid shit.

If I ever hear or read "we are fighting the mover there so we don't have to fight them here" ever again, I am going to end up in jail after going on a murderous rampage.

Well I don't doubt it could have happened. It is even possible that a fundie heard that story, believed and expresses that very same view in all earnestness. :)

One of my favorite ones (largely because of the way it was said) was about "Jerry Springer: The Opera" which suggests Jesus might have been 'a bit' gay.

"I can assure you, Jesus is all man."

I'm trying to figure that out myself. Somebody's puppet, pretending to be a Muslim fundie. He's hilarious! :D

Yeah, i noticed that he was "trying" to be a muslim fundie. Except instead of infidel, he'd most likely want to use the word kaffir, but eh, what can ya say? Its just a stupid 15 yr old nerdy kid pretending to be something he isn't. so ya :p

I'm trying to figure that out myself. Somebody's puppet, pretending to be a Muslim fundie. He's hilarious! :D

I originally thought Catholic. Then I realised I have never heard that sort of Catholic use the term 'infidel.'

I couldn't say why though

Oh I am. The mentality of religious people is limited to believing a load of horse hockey. I hate religion and what it does to people.
That has to be one of my favorite fundie quotes! At least if atheist fundies counts, they should cause they can be fun too.

Fun thread. :D

I like the quote about atheism being a sect of Islam, on the site (http://www.fstdt.com) Zilam posted.
In fairness, there are plenty of funny, non-Christian, fundamentalist quotes. Anything that uses the phrase "The Great Satan" is great.

My fundamentalist uncle once claimed that drilled oil will fill back up within 75 years...

Of course it'll fill back up. You drill fossil fuels, combust them, and then it rains oil thus refilling the wells. I thought that was common knowledge.

That has to be one of my favorite fundie quotes! At least if atheist fundies counts, they should cause they can be fun too.

Fun thread. :D

Im not atheist though. I am a follower of Christ, that hates religion.

I originally thought Catholic. Then I realised I have never heard that sort of Catholic use the term 'infidel.'

I couldn't say why though

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/search.php?searchid=788223

His post history seems to indicate he's posting just to get a rise out of people. Like good old Soviestan

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/search.php?searchid=788223

His post history seems to indicate he's posting just to get a rise out of people. Like good old Soviestan

I post not in the hopes that people will rise, but rather kneel before Allah.

I have heard of this Soviestan several times before in replies to my posts. Is he a servant of Allah?

I post not in the hopes that people will rise, but rather kneel before Allah.

I kneel before nobody.

It was actually by a guy on another board about how Canada was on the verge of collapse due to multiculturalism, and was a vast threat to America, as it contained "more terrorists than the middle east"....He was entirely serious I might add.

I kneel before nobody.

More virgins for me, then.

More virgins for me, then.

You don't understand, kid. I would decide who gets the virgins if there were any.

I am your god.

I post not in the hopes that people will rise, but rather kneel before Allah.

I have heard of this Soviestan several times before in replies to my posts. Is he a servant of Allah?

He was a liberal atheist like the majority of people here, but he got bored with people agreeing with him so he left for a little while then acted like a conservative muslim instead. Though I must say, I preferred him. He didn't feel the need to mention allah in every post he makes.

More virgins for me, then.

What will you do if the virgins are guys? I don't think anyone has ever talked about the sex of the virgins, just that you get 70 some odd virgins.

My favorite quotes from fundies come from Jack Chick:

"All Catholics follow the wrong religion and they are in Satan Church because they worship Mary and eat little wafers, so they are all going to Hell!" (composed from various tracts that he's written about Catholicism.)

I kneel before nobody.

I do, but I ain't prayin!

Oh I am. The mentality of religious people is limited to believing a load of horse hockey. I hate religion and what it does to people.

I don't know which is more out of touch with reality... you or the people you're judging.

I kneel before nobody.

I, on the other hand, kneel before the greatest of all lords:

Delicious strawberry pie.

On to the subject, here's a classic from Ann Coulter.

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."

No, Ann, this isn't war.

THIS.....IS.....SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*Kick*

I do, but I ain't prayin!

I, your God, hereby release you from your obligation to pray for me.

You don't understand, kid. I would decide who gets the virgins if there were any.

I am your god.

I doubt it. George Bernard Shaw is loathed by Allah.

I doubt it. George Bernard Shaw is loathed by Allah.

No, he isn't. I should know. I am - as I said - your God.

Here's a few Falwell quotes:
Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.

Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.

If I were doing something that the Bible condemns, I have two choices. I can straighten up my act, or I can somehow distort and twist and change the meaning of the Bible.

Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.

I am a follower of Christ, that hates religion.

I don't know why, but that is extremely badass.

I doubt it. George Bernard Shaw is loathed by Allah.

Spoken to him lately, eh?

Spoken to him lately, eh?

Yes, I'm right here.

Yes, I'm right here.

Had I been referring to You, him would have been capitalized. Duh.

Had I been referring to You, him would have been capitalized. Duh.

Well, geez, if I weren't so busy running the frickin' UNIVERSE I might pay attention to capitalization! -_-

(mirth)

Well, geez, if I weren't so busy running the frickin' UNIVERSE I might pay attention to capitalization! -_-

(mirth)

Hey, God, do you answer random questions by 15 year olds?

teehee

Hey, God, do you answer random questions by 15 year olds?

teehee

Yes, and, before you ask, Red Windsor.

Yes, and, before you ask, Red Windsor.

God, what is the best way to worship you?

Yes, and, before you ask, Red Windsor.

:confused:

"Osama Bin Laden is either in Afghanistan, some other country, or dead."

- Captain Dickhead, AKA Donald Rumsfeld

:confused:

I know you're surprised, but what did you expect? Omniscience, I knew you were gonna ask what's the fifth cheese mentioned in the Cheese Shop sketch.

God, what is the best way to worship you?

Do no harm to others unless to defend yourself.

I know you're surprised, but what did you expect? Omniscience, I knew you were gonna ask what's the fifth cheese mentioned in the Cheese Shop sketch.

Umm... i wasn't going to ask that.... it wasn't my question anyway, and I have no clue what you're talking about! :(

Umm... i wasn't going to ask that.... it wasn't my question anyway, and I have no clue what you're talking about! :(

Wait. Oh, right, you are ANOTHER Darknovae. Excuse me for one moment.

*Calls a secretary on the intercom* Miss Grace, kindly find out who has been messing around with my files? Thanks.

Now... What is it you wanted to ask, dear?

I know you're surprised, but what did you expect? Omniscience, I knew you were gonna ask what's the fifth cheese mentioned in the Cheese Shop sketch.

SHUT THAT BOUZOUKI OFF!

Wait. Oh, right, you are ANOTHER Darknovae. Excuse me for one moment.

*Calls a secretary on the intercom* Miss Grace, kindly find out who has been messing around with my files? Thanks.

Now... What is it you wanted to ask, dear?

I... i don't remember. I'm so confused now. :(

SHUT THAT BOUZOUKI OFF!

I laughed so hard at that one at the time that I almost forgave the people that did harm in my name.

Almost.

I... i don't remember. I'm so confused now. :(

Awww...

*Makes a plush kitty appear by your side*

Awww...

*Makes a plush kitty appear by your side*

Yay! A kitty! :D

Yay! A kitty! :D

Don't tell anyone, kiddo, I don't usually make miracles freely. ;)

Don't tell anyone, kiddo, I don't usually make miracles freely. ;)

I want a kitty too!

I want a kitty too!

Will it keep you quiet about the miracle here?

Will it keep you quiet about the miracle here?

A Siamese kitty will.

A Siamese kitty will.

Fine, fine. Plush or live? But I WILL smite you if you tell anyone, kay?

Will it keep you quiet about the miracle here?

Girl: Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!
Follower: The Gourd!
Harry: Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us!
Arthur: It is a shoe! It is a shoe!
Flecky: Rally round the kitten!
Man: It's a cat!

The old ones are the best.


The End is Nigh!

Fine, fine. Plush or live? But I WILL smite you if you tell anyone, kay?

live please :D

live please :D

Fine, fine. *A live Siamese kitty appears on Wilgrove's lap*

Oh I am. The mentality of religious people is limited to believing a load of horse hockey. I hate religion and what it does to people.
...

Who are yoiu and what have you done with Zilam?! :eek:

Don't tell anyone, kiddo, I don't usually make miracles freely. ;)

Sorry, man. I got this one on live TV. (Payback for you making me feel like a total failure in fifth and seventh grade)

Fine, fine. *A live Siamese kitty appears on Wilgrove's lap*

You're God, huh? So, basically, athiests are wrong?

...

You're not gonna throw me in the pits of Hell or something, are you?

Yes, and, before you ask, Red Windsor.
:confused:



It's like "42". You know the answer, now you must find the question for yourself.

If I were doing something that the Bible condemns, I have two choices. I can straighten up my act, or I can somehow distort and twist and change the meaning of the Bible.


Well, given how many American Christians tend to be blood thirsty when it comes to the middle east, I think this statement has some truth to it, but to make it fair, applied to any belief system as a whole.

I'll call that and raise you a "He's a Jew and a fag, so he shouldn't say anything" an idiotic uncle of mine said about a news anchor giving an OP/ED.

To paraphrase my mother..."all black people steal"...:(

This may be apocryphal, but I remember reading this some years back. Supposedly, at a school board meeting somewhere in the Bible belt, a woman argued against the teaching of foreign languages in schools because, as she put it: "If the English language was good enough for Jesus, Moses, and the apostle Paul, it's good enough for me and our children."

.....................................................



......wow................

.......................where do these people come from?

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop. [...]"

"The time has come for people of reason to say: enough is enough. Religious faith discourages independent thought, it's divisive, and it's dangerous."

"For many people, part of growing up is killing off the virus of faith with a good strong dose of rational thinking. But if an individual doesn't succeed in shaking it off, his mind is stuck in a permanent state of infancy, and there is a real danger that he will infect the next generation."

where do these people come from?

It's probably best not to speculate.

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop. [...]"

"The time has come for people of reason to say: enough is enough. Religious faith discourages independent thought, it's divisive, and it's dangerous."

"For many people, part of growing up is killing off the virus of faith with a good strong dose of rational thinking. But if an individual doesn't succeed in shaking it off, his mind is stuck in a permanent state of infancy, and there is a real danger that he will infect the next generation."

I'm going to hazard a guess at Richard Dawkins, though I could be wrong.

I'm going to hazard a guess at Richard Dawkins, though I could be wrong.

Richard Dawkins: Not the guy you want representing atheists at the "National Religious Tolerance Banquet".

God is real.

Ok, seriously.

Once again, picture in your mind a round world. Now imagine that there are two people on this world, one at each pole. For the person at the top of the world, (the North Pole), gravity is pulling him down, towards the South Pole. But for the person at the South Pole, shouldn't gravity pull him down as well? What keeps our person at the South Pole from falling completely off the face of the "globe"?

This is further proof that the earth is in fact flat. You can read the entire hilarious list of reasons here: http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublonskopf/Flatearthsociety.htm

You're God, huh? So, basically, athiests are wrong?

...

Depends. Omnipotent beings can also both exist AND not exist.

You're not gonna throw me in the pits of Hell or something, are you?

Mmm... Nah.

I'm going to hazard a guess at Richard Dawkins, though I could be wrong.

The first one was Pat Robertson (a "Christian" advocating the murder of a democratically elected leader in order to boost oil supplies...) and the other two were Dawkins. I would've put another fundamentalist religious quote on there for balance but there were few good ones I could recall off the top of my head.

To paraphrase my mother..."all black people steal"...:(

I fold.

Sorry, man. I got this one on live TV. (Payback for you making me feel like a total failure in fifth and seventh grade)

Johnny, not to be a party-pooper, but you forgot to press REC on the camera.

Johnny, not to be a party-pooper, but you forgot to press REC on the camera.

Hey God? Can I have my two front teeth for Christmas?

I like the lesbian-hating version of 'Adam and Steve' some fundies like to yell out:
"God made Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve!"

I really like that quote, cause it makes me think of a Madam (as in a FemDom Madam all dressed in shiny tight leather and brandishing a whip) and an Eve (naked and oh so innocent looking).
From thereon, my imagination goes a bit too wild to discuss here.
mmmm....hot subdom dyke action. Tank you crazy yelling fundie - your insane anti-gay rants make me all happy and excited inside.

Hey God? Can I have my two front teeth for Christmas?

Discuss that with Santa. It seems, by some threads here, he lives in Russia.

I like the lesbian-hating version of 'Adam and Steve' some fundies like to yell out:
"God made Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve!"

I really like that quote, cause it makes me think of a Madam (as in a FemDom Madam all dressed in shiny tight leather and brandishing a whip) and an Eve (naked and oh so innocent looking).
From thereon, my imagination goes a bit too wild to discuss here.
mmmm....hot subdom dyke action. Tank you crazy yelling fundie - your insane anti-gay rants make me all happy and excited inside.

Sounds like a porno waiting to happen.

Sounds like a porno waiting to happen.

Ah, lesbians. One of my best inventions.

Sounds like a porno waiting to happen.
I'm sure it already has happened. you can rely on porn like that.

Discuss that with Santa. It seems, by some threads here, he lives in Russia.

Fucker never responds to my letters :mad:

I was snickering at Conservapedia right now, and came across this quote for the article on feminism (Which is a lot less biased then I would guess. It's definitely biased, though.)



"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

-Pat Robertson

So, what's your favorite quote from a fundamentalist of any religion?



i am going to kill you in the name of a loving god..lol

allah akubar,in god we trust,any thing from phelps retarded and deranged brain,,actually anything from any twit that espouses the love of a deity that is peaceful and then goes on to rant how others should die....i fucking hate religion..at least the follow the herd type.

Fucker never responds to my letters :mad:

He lives in Soviet Russia. He doesn't read your mail. In Soviet Russia, MAIL reads YOU!

i am going to kill you in the name of a loving god..lol

allah akubar,in god we trust,any thing from phelps retarded and deranged brain,,actually anything from any twit that espouses the love of a deity that is peaceful and then goes on to rant how others should die....i fucking hate religion..at least the follow the herd type.

Don't look at me, buddy, I didn't tell these idiots to do any of the crap they do.

my favorite quote is from a person in my town who likes to go to school board meetings. Its more of a story than a quote.

This year passover and easter were not close together and the school district had two spring breaks. The one for Passover (a week long holiday) was longer than the one for easter (a day long holiday) and this person was mad.

When she argued for a longer break for Easter at a board meeting, she referred to Passover as Hanuka, claimed that there were more Christians than Jews in the community (which was not true), and that Christians were more important that Jews. She said this all with a straight face to a school board that contains three Jews.





About that Flat Earth quote:
Gravity pulls into Earth's center, stupid.

I don't have time to read their website,
but how do they reconcile their views with the time zones and pictures from space?

my favorite quote is from a person in my town who likes to go to school board meetings. Its more of a story than a quote.

This year passover and easter were not close together and the school district had two spring breaks. The one for Passover (a week long holiday) was longer than the one for easter (a day long holiday) and this person was mad.

When she argued for a longer break for Easter at a board meeting, she referred to Passover as Hanuka, claimed that there were more Christians than Jews in the community (which was not true), and that Christians were more important that Jews. She said this all with a straight face to a school board that contains three Jews.

Way to make friends, eh?

Way to make friends, eh?

Yeah. but guess what. A month later all of her Christian friends elected her to the board.

Yeah. but guess what. A month later all of her Christian friends elected her to the board.

Did they get the Jewish folks out of the board as well or did they not think it through enough to realize she'd now have three people at the board she was in wanting her head on a platter (with good reason) and, thus, prone to block anything she proposed?

Did they get the Jewish folks out of the board as well or did they not think it through enough to realize she'd now have three people at the board she was in wanting her head on a platter (with good reason) and, thus, prone to block anything she proposed?

Jewish folks weren't up for reelection. But when they are..
Their out of their

About that Flat Earth quote:
Gravity pulls into Earth's center, stupid.

I don't have time to read their website,
but how do they reconcile their views with the time zones and pictures from space?

About the gravity, they don't seem to take it into account. Unless it benefits their argument of course. Even then, they use it incorrectly.

As for time zones, they are never mentioned, and all pictures from space are obviously faked; it's all a conspiracy by NASA and the government to make us think the earth is round.

I find people who are way into religion to be a very imtimidating. The only time I ever talked with a fundy for more than long enough to run away was when one of those door-to-door evangelists came to my house. As soon as I opened the door, he shouted "That shirt is a cotton-polyester blend, sinner!" I was so stunned that I didn't say anything and he took this as an invitation to come in and showed me the verse in Leviticus where it says that it's a sin to wear a garment of more than one material. Since he was in my house and I couldn't get away from him and I'm too much of a wimp to ask him to leave, he spent hours showing me obscure verses from the Bible and telling me why I'm going to hell. The one quote that stands out the most was:

"So you see, you shouldn't keep a cat. Cats are the only domestic animal not mentioned anywhere in the holy scripture, which is extremely suspicious and is probably a sign of Satanic activity."

I find people who are way into religion to be a very imtimidating. The only time I ever talked with a fundy for more than long enough to run away was when one of those door-to-door evangelists came to my house. As soon as I opened the door, he shouted "That shirt is a cotton-polyester blend, sinner!" I was so stunned that I didn't say anything and he took this as an invitation to come in and showed me the verse in Leviticus where it says that it's a sin to wear a garment of more than one material. Since he was in my house and I couldn't get away from him and I'm too much of a wimp to ask him to leave, he spent hours showing me obscure verses from the Bible and telling me why I'm going to hell. The one quote that stands out the most was:

"So you see, you shouldn't keep a cat. Cats are the only domestic animal not mentioned anywhere in the holy scripture, which is extremely suspicious and is probably a sign of Satanic activity."

He entered without your invitation? And you didn't call 911 because?

He entered without your invitation? And you didn't call 911 because?
No, the police have more important things to do. It's not like he was hurting me or breaking my stuff.

Btw, in Australia the emergency number is 000.

No, the police have more important things to do. It's not like he was hurting me or breaking my stuff.

Btw, in Australia the emergency number is 000.

190 in Brazil.

Still. Well, I'd not let him in. :p

190 in Brazil.

Still. Well, I'd not let him in. :p
190. That's a much nicer number than 000 or 911. Brazil's got it better.

Well, of course you wouldn't. You have a spine.
Actually considering you're God, I imagine you have at least three.

"The only women who should feel like they are getting the shaft are those women who are, in fact, not getting the shaft. ;)"

Me, on Feminism.

190. That's a much nicer number than 000 or 911. Brazil's got it better.

Well, of course you wouldn't. You have a spine.
Actually considering you're God, I imagine you have at least three.

Well, I'm not the trinity guy. I can have as many spines as I wish though. ;)

As for a number, I think 000 is quicker and more efficient...

"God hates _______"-Big Freddie

GodLibs by Fred Phelps!

"Buy my audio tapes and you will be truly redeemed."

-An evangalical preacher with a fake sounding American accent and looked like Zorg from the Fifth Element.

I saw him once on early morning TV. If anyone knows who he, could they post it. I want to find more of his material, so I can build him and his mannerisms into my routine.

Well, I'm not the trinity guy. I can have as many spines as I wish though. ;)

As for a number, I think 000 is quicker and more efficient...
I wasn't implying anything to do with the trinity. I just imagine God as having 3 separate torsos: one black, one Asian, one covered in pink fur. And all of them sit on the body of a giant crab.

I know, but it's not about efficiency. I just think 190 is a far nicer number.
(I'm somewhat obsessed with numbers. It's a long story.)

Just reading this website (http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx) - the only place where I have heard stuff like that is on the game Eve Online - specifically, Amarr roleplayers who will explain why it is right for the Amarr Empire to enslave all infidels.

The difference is, they're roleplaying. They don't believe the stuff they're saying. What is scary is that the fundies actually do.

Religion isn't what's wrong with these people. It is blind faith and the rejection of logic that leads people to do terrible things in the name of G-d.

It is blind faith and the rejection of logic that leads people to do terrible things in the name of G-d.


Now, I'm not advocating these "terrible things in the name of God." In fact, I am really not concerned with the rest of what yo usaid one way or the other. I feel obliged as a logician, however, to ask: What the hell do you know about "logic"?

interestingly enough, apparently this theme is commonly attricuted to a certain Miriam "Ma" Furguson, but apparently it can be traced futher then that, 1881

God, I hate that women.

What do I know about logic?

I've never been good at giving dictionary definitions. So I'm going to cheat.

logic (countable and uncountable; plural logics)

(uncountable) A method of human thought that involves thinking in a linear, step-by-step manner about how a problem can be solved. Logic is the basis of many principles including the scientific method.
...
(uncountable) Any system of thought, whether rigorous and productive or not, especially one associated with a particular person.
...


Sounds good to me! Now if only the fundies would accept it...

What do I know about logic?

I've never been good at giving dictionary definitions. So I'm going to cheat.



Sounds good to me! Now if only the fundies would accept it...

*Sigh* Alas, I suppose I shall have to copy and paste my truly awesome Logic thread here.

I don't know which is more out of touch with reality... you or the people you're judging.

Those that are following rules and regulations thinking that they make God delighted, while in their hearts is malice, and hatred, devoid of love and compassion as the Lord commanded us to have, are the ones out of touch with God's reality. They are those that believe obedience to God comes from fear, instead of love. This is what religion does to people. It turns them away from being able to feel God ,as he meant for us, by Him coming to us as we let Him, and instead they try to reach His level through rules and regulations.

I don't know why, but that is extremely badass.

Well, Jesus was the original badass:cool:

...

Who are yoiu and what have you done with Zilam?! :eek:

I have been surrounded lately by many people of the Islamic religion, and I have seen how they do what they do(pray salaat, do hajj, etc) out of fear of hell fire, and not out of love. I have seen what religion is, and i do not desire it for anyone. If anything, religion needs to be destroyed.

No, the police have more important things to do. It's not like he was hurting me or breaking my stuff.

Btw, in Australia the emergency number is 000.

And that's why I have a double door. One with grilles on the outside, and a solid wooden one on the inside. *nods*

I find people who are way into religion to be a very imtimidating. The only time I ever talked with a fundy for more than long enough to run away was when one of those door-to-door evangelists came to my house. As soon as I opened the door, he shouted "That shirt is a cotton-polyester blend, sinner!" I was so stunned that I didn't say anything and he took this as an invitation to come in and showed me the verse in Leviticus where it says that it's a sin to wear a garment of more than one material. Since he was in my house and I couldn't get away from him and I'm too much of a wimp to ask him to leave, he spent hours showing me obscure verses from the Bible and telling me why I'm going to hell. The one quote that stands out the most was:

"So you see, you shouldn't keep a cat. Cats are the only domestic animal not mentioned anywhere in the holy scripture, which is extremely suspicious and is probably a sign of Satanic activity."

That guy sounds a lot more like someone imitating a door-to-door evangelist in order to point out hypocrisy in modern religion (that people only follow the rules in the bible that benefit them or fit their own personal views).

This one is hilarious:
"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is. "- CARM


Lol. So I guess that the average fundie preacher is more sinful than - let's say - Paris Hilton.

And, obviously, before Neil Armstrong landed there, the moon was weightless.

No, the police have more important things to do. It's not like he was hurting me or breaking my stuff.

Btw, in Australia the emergency number is 000.

Or 112 from a mobile phone, it doesn't even have to be unlocked to call it either and (I haven't tried this) apparently you don't need a SIM card in it either. Also it will connect you to the emergency number for whichever country you're currently in. Just in case you find yourself in trouble without a phone somewhere in Europe and the only phone on hand is your friend's and it's password-protected and your friend is unconscious. Just in case.

This one is really fun!


Daily Historical Quote: "Democracy is, first and foremost, a spiritual force, it is built upon a spiritual basis- and on a belief in God and an observance of moral principle. And in the long run only the church can provide that basis. Our founders knew this truth - and we will neglect it at our peril." -Harry S. Truman, 34th president of United States

1.The US Constitution hasn't the word "democracy" in it...
2.The first government to label himself a "democracy" was the government of PAGAN Athens...

LOL, fundie idiots.

Conservapedia! I had no idea such a thing existed! It's comedy gold!

I typed in "Hippie" and got a rather weird article. At the end it states: To this day politicians avoid growing beards due to how that alienates voters reminded of the hippies, whom many voters would never support.

And their article on Homosexuality begins :
Homosexuality is an immoral sexual lifestyle between members of the same sex.


Thank you Americans for being so incredibly insane!

Johnny, not to be a party-pooper, but you forgot to press REC on the camera.

I hacked in another one. It was hidden in my pocket.

Everything about prophet was extraordinary. Even his urine had miraculous curative properties.

Hukaymah bint Umaymah radī Allāhu anha narrates:- the Prophet of Allāh had a wodden bowl in which he used to urinate and was placed under his bed. One night, he searched for it but did not find it and asked for it saying, 'where is the bowl?' The members of the house replied 'Umm Salamah radī Allāhu anha's slave girl Barrah drank from it' who came from Habashah with her. The Prophet replied, 'surely she has protected herself from the fire with a great wall'.

Those fortunate muslims who drank prophet's urine found that it was the sweetest juice on earth. No wonder they said that 'I wish I was His urine which passed out of Him 'alayhis salātu was-salām; pure and a cure'.

Everything about prophet was extraordinary. Even his urine had miraculous curative properties.

Hukaymah bint Umaymah radī Allāhu anha narrates:- the Prophet of Allāh had a wodden bowl in which he used to urinate and was placed under his bed. One night, he searched for it but did not find it and asked for it saying, 'where is the bowl?' The members of the house replied 'Umm Salamah radī Allāhu anha's slave girl Barrah drank from it' who came from Habashah with her. The Prophet replied, 'surely she has protected herself from the fire with a great wall'.

Those fortunate muslims who drank prophet's urine found that it was the sweetest juice on earth. No wonder they said that 'I wish I was His urine which passed out of Him 'alayhis salātu was-salām; pure and a cure'.

Holy Golden Showers Batman...

I was snickering at Conservapedia right now,


:eek: Just went and had a look at that site... it hurts my eyes. :(

"There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."




"Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son





One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]"





"Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?"

And, obviously, before Neil Armstrong landed there, the moon was weightless.
Still is. Neil never sinned in his life. Nor did any of the other 11 astronauts. That's how NASA was able to send them up there in the first place - not weighing anything they were able to escape the Earth.
And that's the reason we've never been back. After the '70's, due to the twin evils of communism, rock n roll and daytime TV (ok that's three but I'm on a roll here), everyone in the world had sinned. twice at least. Simple fact is - we're now all too heavy to leave the Earth.

"There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."




"Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son





One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]"





"Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?"

Well damn me! You are joking right? No no you're trolling yeah?


Bwahahah what an idiot, me that is, I just sorta lost the plot there!

Just reading this website (http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx) - the only place where I have heard stuff like that is on the game Eve Online - specifically, Amarr roleplayers who will explain why it is right for the Amarr Empire to enslave all infidels.

The difference is, they're roleplaying. They don't believe the stuff they're saying. What is scary is that the fundies actually do.

Religion isn't what's wrong with these people. It is blind faith and the rejection of logic that leads people to do terrible things in the name of G-d.

That's just what the Amarr Empire is. They're basically Christian Fundies in Space!

Well damn me! You are joking right? No no you're trolling yeah?


Bwahahah what an idiot, me that is, I just sorta lost the plot there!

I'm going to go out on a limp and say those are excerpts from Jack Chick tracts.

That's just what the Amarr Empire is. They're basically Christian Fundies in Space!
Which is why I'm a Caldari - They're basically fascists in space.

[A study shows that male Congressmen with daughters are more likely to vote for reproductive rights]

"The conclusion they want you to get from this is that pro-life Congressmen are insensitive to women and don't have contact with any.

But I'd draw a different conclusion: Congressmen who are liberal are more likely to have slutty daughters. And therefore, they are more likely to support abortion for selfish, personal reasons."

Yay for slutty Congressmen's daughters! ;)