NationStates Jolt Archive

The countries of the former Soviet Union have agreed to reform for a special one-off evening of military posturing, human rights abuse and state-controlled oppression.

The fifteen countries stretching from Lithuania to Tajikistan, were persuaded to bury their differences and get back together to cash in on the current trend for 1970s nostalgia.

Ukraine, the country that first mooted the idea of the ‘Soviet Re-Union’ said last night: ‘We never thought it would really happen, but when we started talking to each other the old memories came flooding back and we realized we owed it to the fans.’ Belarus agreed, saying: “It’s great to be free, independent and democratic, but we can’t deny we had some good times together and it’ll be great to see the others after all this time and feel part of that huge terrifying Soviet power-bloc – even if it’s for just one night!’

All the members have been digging out their old furry hats and hammer and sickle badges and practicing their lines about glorious tractor production. Promoters were wary of backing the reunion until Russia finally came on board. Despite what Kirgizia claimed about the Soviet Union being a team of equals, as one fan said ‘the Soviet Union without Russia would have been like The Osmonds without Donny.’

Russia was finally persuaded to take part in the reunion after promises that it would be allowed to bully the smaller nations. The last country to agree to the plan was Tajikistan simply because no-one could find it.

However the planned reunion looked in danger last night when the reformed Soviet Union encountered a number of unforeseen copyright problems. ‘We’d been planning to do all the old favourites like ‘Destabilizing the Middle East’ or ‘Invading Afghanistan’. Trouble is, some bastard’s gone and nicked our act!’

Linky (http://newsbiscuit.com/article/soviet-union-to-reform-for-one-night-only-136)

Ah, the nostalgia....:D Thoughts?

Yes, finally. But wait, will former buffer states like Poland also cooperate? It would be cool to see East Germany and Czechoslovakia again :D

You have just provided me a link to one of the funniest websites ever!

I read about the East German hotel that's set up like a communist-era apartment building, but this is taking it a bit far, I think. :p

American UN Rep.: "Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up?"

Russian UN Rep.: "Yes, that's what we wanted you to think!"

Lenin: "Must crush capitalism! Grrrr! Grrrr!"

In America, you reform the country. In Soviet Russia, country reforms you!

American UN Rep.: "Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up?"

Russian UN Rep.: "Yes, that's what we wanted you to think!"

Lenin: "Must crush capitalism! Grrrr! Grrrr!"

Simpsons FTW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLe6fhBejNI

Classic!

However the planned reunion looked in danger last night when the reformed Soviet Union encountered a number of unforeseen copyright problems. ‘We’d been planning to do all the old favourites like ‘Destabilizing the Middle East’ or ‘Invading Afghanistan’. Trouble is, some bastard’s gone and nicked our act!’

The U.S. does seem to be suffering from a lack of originality of late. :p

The U.S. does seem to be suffering from a lack of originality of late. :p

Of late? You have heard of this place called Hollywood, yes?

Of late? You have heard of this place called Hollywood, yes?

Ok, we have suffered the lack for awhile now. :D

Just to confirm, the Soviets did not invade Afghanistan, they were invited into the country by the Afghan government as part of a treaty obligation.

The USSR is back?!!

ONE MORE PROXY WAR!! ONE MORE PROXY WAR!! ONE MORE PROXY WAR!!

:p

Just to confirm, the Soviets did not invade Afghanistan, they were invited into the country by the Afghan government as part of a treaty obligation.

The Soviets invaded Afghanistan, no matter how you slice it. The Soviets installed the PDPA into power. They were not recognized as the legitimate government by a number of Afghans, hence the civil war, and then the Soviet invasion and occupation to prop up Amin, then Karmal, then Najibullah.

The USSR is back?!!

ONE MORE PROXY WAR!! ONE MORE PROXY WAR!! ONE MORE PROXY WAR!!

:p

This whole business sounds like a communist wet dream. :D

The Soviets invaded Afghanistan, no matter how you slice it. The Soviets installed the PDPA into power. They were not recognized as the legitimate government by a number of Afghans, hence the civil war, and then the Soviet invasion and occupation to prop up Amin, then Karmal, then Najibullah.

But... but... it's not invasion if she WANTED it!!!

This whole business sounds like a communist wet dream.

Isn't there another country (http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/china/flag_prc.gif) like that?

Isn't there another country (http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/china/flag_prc.gif) like that?

Pfft, China gets more capitalist all the time. They aren't really a communist country any longer.

Belarus agreed, saying: “It’s great to be free, independent and democratic

ROFL

That had me on the floor. In fact I know have bruises.

The Soviets invaded Afghanistan, no matter how you slice it. The Soviets installed the PDPA into power. They were not recognized as the legitimate government by a number of Afghans, hence the civil war, and then the Soviet invasion and occupation to prop up Amin, then Karmal, then Najibullah.

As opposed to American backed warlords who had all the mandate in Afghanistan....like Hekmatyar who has the dubious distinction of the only Prime minister to bomb his own capital.

Just because US and its erstwhile friends the mujahideen have fallen out of favor, does not mean some of us will forget how cosy the US was with them.

I don't like the sound of this...

ehm... http://youtube.com/watch?v=zY0r1WQPHIk

Edit: DAMMIT, it's already been posted. You bastards!

As opposed to American backed warlords who had all the mandate in Afghanistan....like Hekmatyar who has the dubious distinction of the only Prime minister to bomb his own capital.

Just because US and its erstwhile friends the mujahideen have fallen out of favor, does not mean some of us will forget how cosy the US was with them.

Exactly right, and while the US backed rebels destroyed the country fight amongst themselves after the Soviets withdrew, a brutal conflict killing thousands of civilians, a conflict which is still going on now, the US gave the groups the weapons to start the civil war, while the communist government wanted to modernize and stabilize the country.

Pfft, China gets more capitalist all the time. They aren't really a communist country any longer.
Urrrg, if someone says China are capitalist one more time I think I will just keel over and die, they are more like quasi-fascist authoritarian.

In other news from the second world:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1a/The_Exile_front_page.jpg

American UN Rep.: "Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up?"

Russian UN Rep.: "Yes, that's what we wanted you to think!"

Lenin: "Must crush capitalism! Grrrr! Grrrr!"

:D Clicky (http://youtube.com/watch?v=CLe6fhBejNI)

As opposed to American backed warlords who had all the mandate in Afghanistan....like Hekmatyar who has the dubious distinction of the only Prime minister to bomb his own capital.

Just because US and its erstwhile friends the mujahideen have fallen out of favor, does not mean some of us will forget how cosy the US was with them.

How exactly did this post address what Almighty America was discussing?

The Soviets invaded Afghanistan, no matter how you slice it. The Soviets installed the PDPA into power. They were not recognized as the legitimate government by a number of Afghans, hence the civil war, and then the Soviet invasion and occupation to prop up Amin, then Karmal, then Najibullah.

As opposed to American backed warlords who had all the mandate in Afghanistan....like Hekmatyar who has the dubious distinction of the only Prime minister to bomb his own capital.

Just because US and its erstwhile friends the mujahideen have fallen out of favor, does not mean some of us will forget how cosy the US was with them.

I feel like shutting you both up on arguing over what was an invasion when, etc.

It doesn't matter if you are invited. It doesn't matter if the people like you. It is an invasion if you move in with troops and capture territory, plain and simple. I would add that "invasion" on its own should not carry any negative connotation, even though for some reason today it does.

I have been reading General Marshall's "Victory Report" to the Secretary of War that he wrote at the end of World War II. Guess what, he calls the Battle of Normandy the "Invasion of France". Because it was. We moved troops in, and we captured territory. Whether we were invited, or were liberators, or anything else is irrelevant. It was an invasion. It just happened to be a just one.

Just to confirm, the Soviets did not invade Afghanistan, they were invited into the country by the Afghan government as part of a treaty obligation.

Just like in Czechoslovakia, eh?

Just like in Czechoslovakia, eh?

Or Hungary and East Germany!

Yeah... that's in extremely poor taste.

Yeah... that's in extremely poor taste.

Oh no, I've seen much worse.

So is Germany gonna pitch in and erect a fake Berlin Wall?


This is of course a joke... right??

It's E-CCCP: One Night Stand!!!

Exactly right, and while the US backed rebels destroyed the country fight amongst themselves after the Soviets withdrew, a brutal conflict killing thousands of civilians, a conflict which is still going on now, the US gave the groups the weapons to start the civil war, while the communist government wanted to modernize and stabilize the country.

Yeah, stabilize just like the Taliban did. They were welcome (welcomed? d'oh... my English...) as stabilizers by many an Afghani. And about modernizing: thanks,
but I think they'd manage better without using das Kapital as basis for all science.

Yeah, stabilize just like the Taliban did. They were welcome (welcomed? d'oh... my English...) as stabilizers by many an Afghani. And about modernizing: thanks,
but I think they'd manage better without using das Kapital as basis for all science.

They would have been much better under the Communist Party of Afghanistan than the Taliban. The communists were committed to both secularism and women's rights which is more than the Taliban ever did.

And Das Kapital is not a basis for science. It's a compilation of economic theories.

How exactly did this post address what Almighty America was discussing?

The idea that Soviets were the evil incarnate (I am talking about just the AFG episode) may be taken for granted in western world. But not everywhere.

Afghans had, relatively speaking, a better time before the US planned to trap USSR in AFG.

All things considered, I would say that the US screwed up AFG far more than the erstwhile USSR can be accused of.

Linky (http://newsbiscuit.com/article/soviet-union-to-reform-for-one-night-only-136)

Ah, the nostalgia....:D Thoughts?

LOL! brightened my day! well, night.

The idea that Soviets were the evil incarnate (I am talking about just the AFG episode) may be taken for granted in western world. But not everywhere.

Afghans had, relatively speaking, a better time before the US planned to trap USSR in AFG.

All things considered, I would say that the US screwed up AFG far more than the erstwhile USSR can be accused of.

But the Soviets lost the Cold War, so we should be allowed to blame them for everything bad that happened while they were still extant. Sort of like how we blamed the German Empire for everything bad that happened during World War I. The old 'Versailles' tactic! I can't believe you're disrespecting history like that!

Urrrg, if someone says China are capitalist one more time I think I will just keel over and die, they are more like quasi-fascist authoritarian.

They are more a single party state than the state itself.

Authoritarian single party capitalist state I'd say, but that sounds too long.

But the Soviets lost the Cold War, so we should be allowed to blame them for everything bad that happened while they were still extant. Sort of like how we blamed the German Empire for everything bad that happened during World War I. The old 'Versailles' tactic! I can't believe you're disrespecting history like that!

Yet each time Austria managed to wiggle out of the worst damage...

They would have been much better under the Communist Party of Afghanistan than the Taliban. The communists were committed to both secularism and women's rights which is more than the Taliban ever did.

And Das Kapital is not a basis for science. It's a compilation of economic theories.

Exactly right, the Soviets certainly weren't the ones who shot women in the Kabul Stadium for fun, or run over gays heads with tanks, the US-paid Taliban were.

Exactly right, the Soviets certainly weren't the ones who shot women in the Kabul Stadium for fun, or run over gays heads with tanks, the US-paid Taliban were.

Now mind you they would be better still with a social democratic, liberal democratic republic rather than a Communist 'republic.' But I hear all too often that the Soviet Union was propping up some oppressive regime, and that US intervention valiantly drove them out. That's unadulterated bull. We drove out the much lesser of two evils.

Exactly right, the Soviets certainly weren't the ones who shot women in the Kabul Stadium for fun, or run over gays heads with tanks, the US-paid Taliban were.

Communists were definitely the lesser of two evils. For all of its flaws, the Soviet model did produce real economic and living-standards benefits for the people of their country, and did make great strides in advancing social equality, education, health care, and scientific research.

So, I'd definitely prefer a Communist/socialist regime to the nutjobs in Afghanistan or Iran any day. And if they were of the Nyerere or Allende stripe, I would actually be confident in their ability to run the country.

But the Soviets lost the Cold War, so we should be allowed to blame them for everything bad that happened while they were still extant. Sort of like how we blamed the German Empire for everything bad that happened during World War I. The old 'Versailles' tactic! I can't believe you're disrespecting history like that!

"History is written by the victors." -Churchill.

And yes, the West has the right to say what they want about how Communism's advance is evil and bad for the world. The West won, so, as capitalists, we get to claim the communism was evil, and anything bad, even if it was a U.S.A. or U.K. backed operation, was only a reply to Soviet aggression. Hence, since the West finished it, claiming "they started it" is a perfectly valid rationalization for all of their actions. Why?

Because "History is written by the victors."

Churchill has spoken.