NationStates Jolt Archive

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

To buy time I have demanded to see a picture of the pig with today's newspaper to make sure it's still alive. The pig and I have an understanding of not negotiating in these cases, but we'll try to capture the evil pignappers.

Any ideas?

I say you go all Diehard on them and get revenge

In Soviet Russia Pig Kidnap You!

In Soviet Russia Pig Kidnap You!
How original!

Umm....what?

What kind of pig is this, and where the hell do you work?

Wasn't this an episode of the American version of The Office?

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

To buy time I have demanded to see a picture of the pig with today's newspaper to make sure it's still alive. The pig and I have an understanding of not negotiating in these cases, but we'll try to capture the evil pignappers.

Any ideas?

Have you considered randomly kidnapping co-workers and torturing them for information? That might turn up something. If it doesn't you can always sell video of the torture sessions as S&M porn on the internet to raise some ransom money.

Have you considered randomly kidnapping co-workers and torturing them for information? That might turn up something. If it doesn't you can always sell video of the torture sessions as S&M porn on the internet to raise some ransom money.

Hey hey hey. It's not torture until you make an organ fail. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales told me so!

If it was just a trinket, I say ignore it. ;)

if you have a suspicion of whodunnit put their stapler in jelly or superglue their mouse to the desk or kidnap something of theirs. if not, take something of everyone's in the office and hang them out the window by string with some scissors nearby and then give em an ultimatum, 'fess up or the stuff falls.

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

To buy time I have demanded to see a picture of the pig with today's newspaper to make sure it's still alive. The pig and I have an understanding of not negotiating in these cases, but we'll try to capture the evil pignappers.

Any ideas?

Do you have a game of monopoly handy?

if you have a suspicion of whodunnit put their stapler in jelly or superglue their mouse to the desk or kidnap something of theirs. if not, take something of everyone's in the office and hang them out the window by string with some scissors nearby and then give em an ultimatum, 'fess up or the stuff falls.

Anti-seize gel or petroleum jelly on door knobs works wonders too. Anti-seize is more fun because it's graphite suspended in an oil based gel, and it's a bitch to clean off your hands. You end up being silver for a half dozen washes.

Anti-seize gel or petroleum jelly on door knobs works wonders too. Anti-seize is more fun because it's graphite suspended in an oil based gel, and it's a bitch to clean off your hands. You end up being silver for a half dozen washes.

haha! yeh, that'd do it! :D

All your pig are belong to us!

[QUOTE=Iztatepopotla;12774059]So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing QUOTE]

Like seramic or what.

Hmmm, this gives new meaning to bringing home the bacon. If more than one person is involved, maybe you can get one of them to squeal?

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing...

Like ceramic or what?Kill the pig makes it sound alive.Is it a guinea pig? It can't be a regular oink,oink bacon makin' farm pig.

if you have a suspicion of whodunnit put their stapler in jelly or superglue their mouse to the desk or kidnap something of theirs. if not, take something of everyone's in the office and hang them out the window by string with some scissors nearby and then give em an ultimatum, 'fess up or the stuff falls.

That is a great idea the only slight problem with that is they'd know it was you who stole there stuff.

in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).


It could still be a man just trying to trick you.

That is a great idea the only slight problem with that is they'd know it was you who stole there stuff.

well that's kind of the idea.

well that's kind of the idea.

Yes, well. You know the "N" on the Nebraska Cornhuskers football helmet? It stands for "Nowledge" :p

Yes, well. You know the "N" on the Nebraska Cornhuskers football helmet? It stands for "Nowledge" :p

hahaha! :D

to be fair, going by his post at the top of the page i think NNN might be completely wankered :p

Yes, well. You know the "N" on the Nebraska Cornhuskers football helmet? It stands for "Nowledge" :p

Oy bad joke, not the first time I've heard it though.

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

To buy time I have demanded to see a picture of the pig with today's newspaper to make sure it's still alive. The pig and I have an understanding of not negotiating in these cases, but we'll try to capture the evil pignappers.

Any ideas?
Gasp! P-chan!
http://tokeizaka.cside.tv/maison/mycg/p-chan_b.jpg

Fill your briefcase with dirty undies and pass it off as the cash...

Become a cross between Rambo, an Islamic fundamentalist, and a S&M master. I think you can figure out the rest.

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

To buy time I have demanded to see a picture of the pig with today's newspaper to make sure it's still alive. The pig and I have an understanding of not negotiating in these cases, but we'll try to capture the evil pignappers.

Any ideas?
I don't care about the pig, I just love you for writing that OP.

:fluffle:

I kidnapped a co-workers Elmo doll once. I made a ransom note out of old magazines and strapped some firecrackers to it then took a polaroid of it demanding I don't remember what, cookies or something.

Unfortunately a rescue mission was staged and it was saved from its lens case prison (It was in a projection booth)

If it was just a trinket, I say ignore it. ;)

That's what a smart, sensible person would do.
...
I'll start interrogating people.

New New Nebraska: It's a plastic pig, but it can still be melted.

Fill your briefcase with dirty undies and pass it off as the cash...

SOMEONE'S been watching Oscar!

SOMEONE'S been watching Oscar!

That movie won an Oscar? I mean, I love John Goodman and everything, but Oscar-worthy, well... I'm not really convinced. :p

That movie won an Oscar? I mean, I love John Goodman and everything, but Oscar-worthy, well... I'm not really convinced. :p

http://imdb.com/title/tt0102603/

Can't you just call out it's name?:p

Can't you just call out it's name?:p

I bet if you went around the office shouting, "SOOOOOOO-EEEEEEE!!!! PIG PIG PIG PIG PIG" it would return. ;)

I bet if you went around the office shouting, "SOOOOOOO-EEEEEEE!!!! PIG PIG PIG PIG PIG" it would return. ;)

worked with my boomerang.;)

Is it a living pig?

I'd setup a trap of sorts. Have a trustable female friend stay in the bathroom, switching stalls ever now and then. As soon as she hears the ransom money being taken, she can jump out and tackle the pignapper.

Honestly, I'd say it's a prank.

Is it a living pig?

I'd setup a trap of sorts. Have a trustable female friend stay in the bathroom, switching stalls ever now and then. As soon as she hears the ransom money being taken, she can jump out and tackle the pignapper.

Honestly, I'd say it's a prank.

No way, pignapping plastic pigs off peoples office desks are a big problem in most major US cities. Its hard to get a permit to raise them in the city so they are a lot more rare than in the country and more in demand.

SOMEONE'S been watching Oscar!

I got it! You daughter's not your daughter, and the cash that used to be the jewels is now your underwear! :p


fill up the envelope with play money!

Is it a living pig?

I'd setup a trap of sorts. Have a trustable female friend stay in the bathroom, switching stalls ever now and then. As soon as she hears the ransom money being taken, she can jump out and tackle the pignapper.

Honestly, I'd say it's a prank.

imagines scene where woman runs out of one stall... and back into another... repeatedly... for a long time... :p

Hmmm, this gives new meaning to bringing home the bacon. If more than one person is involved, maybe you can get one of them to squeal?

:rolleyes::p

No way, pignapping plastic pigs off peoples office desks are a big problem in most major US cities. Its hard to get a permit to raise them in the city so they are a lot more rare than in the country and more in demand.:p

I kidnapped a co-workers Elmo doll once. I made a ransom note out of old magazines and strapped some firecrackers to it then took a polaroid of it demanding I don't remember what, cookies or something.

Unfortunately a rescue mission was staged and it was saved from its lens case prison (It was in a projection booth)I can't stop giggling about the firecrackers. :p

So, I come back from lunch and find out that the pig I keep on my desk is missing and in its place there's a ransom note stating that if I want to see my pig again I should put $5000 (nice knowing you, pig) in unmarked bills in an envelop and leave it in the women's washroom (I'm not a woman, so I guess the pignapper is, which is no help at all since most staff here are women).

This should teach you two important lessons:
1. Do not go out for lunch while your pig is on your desk, waiting for you.
2. Do not call your female coworkers pigs. Especially if they are willing to mount your desk.

I got it! You daughter's not your daughter, and the cash that used to be the jewels is now your underwear!

Oh thank God, I thought I was all alone here.

Oh thank God, I thought I was all alone here.

you know what the funniest thing is tho...



of all the times I've seen the movie.... I've never seen it in it's entiretly. :headbang:

My favorite one liners -- as Snaps is disarming one of his guys.... and it takes a couple minutes....

"It's like disarming Germany!"



And, "Doc is right! you're an ox, and a moron!"
And, (the doctor to his daughter), "You have such lovely rounded dipthongs."

And...
"Hey, Look! It's Li'l An't'ny.... and his Imperial!"

It's been a while, but that movie always gives me the giggles.

The pig will probably return once she (we assume) is tired of the ransom game. She may play around by taking pictures of it, etc. Try to just enjoy the prank. :)

After all, I doubt anyone would seriously expect to get that much money for a plastic pig that could easily be replaced for much less.

;) Go to the dollar store and buy toy money.

Or draw a "five thousand dollar bill" and leave it next to the rest room.

Or print out one of these (the face only, of course -- and on a weird colored paper, and NOT six inches long..... just to be paranoid-safe).

My favorite one liners -- as Snaps is disarming one of his guys.... and it takes a couple minutes....

"It's like disarming Germany!"



And, "Doc is right! you're an ox, and a moron!"
And, (the doctor to his daughter), "You have such lovely rounded dipthongs."

And...
"Hey, Look! It's Li'l An't'ny.... and his Imperial!"

It's been a while, but that movie always gives me the giggles.

... for disarming scenes...

Rent Full Metal Panic "Fumuffu"

look for the scene where Sousuke has to rescue Kaname from the biker gang... he walks in carrying one school bag, and is ordered to drop all of his weapons... :D

and then there's "SPY GAMES."

*going by memory*
Former KGB Agent :We fight like men (tosses gun onto porch)
Former CIA Agent :I'm cool with that... get rid of the other gun then
KGB :I'm not carrying any.
CIA :ankle holster... common, you pulled that on me in Switzerland.
(a second gun lands next to the first.)
KGB :ok, now take off your jacket... on the porch.
CIA : My jacket?
KGB : I heard how you took out 4 guards with it...
(bunched up jacket lands next to guns)
CIA :knife.... let's go...
(Knife thuds into porch beam)
KGB :... and your comb...
(Comb lands on jacket.)
CIA : Still have the garrote?
(coiled up wire sails in.)
KGB : shoes...
(two shoes land on the steps.)
CIA: Second knife...
(throwing knife lands next to first knife)
KGB :Belt...
CIA :you want I should take off my pants as well?
KGB :nah... this is suburb... there will be children around...

At one of my old jobs, my boss once kidnapped my curious george and placed him in a handmade hot air baloon, and hung him from the rafters.

fill up the envelope with play money!

Perfect. Simply write "RANSOM" on the envolope.Fill it with monopoly money or something. Unless they check first or worse they're in this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:*looks around sneekily*

The evil pignappers have sent a picture of the pig:

http://www.robertobaca.com/pignapped_sm.jpg

I don't know if this means I should pay the ransom or the pig is into bondage and actually enjoying itself.

The evil pignappers have sent a picture of the pig:

I don't know if this means I should pay the ransom or the pig is into bondage and actually enjoying itself.

Get the fake money, and demand a neutral meeting point in a public place, with no weapons; then launch some daredevil insane scheme involving jumping of a bridge of keeping both.