NationStates Jolt Archive

Anybody got any teacher horror stories?

My teacher I had today, whoa. That was a disaster. It was the last test for the subject, and everybody failed, because he CAN'T TEACH. He comes in, gives us a sheet, says "Do it" and doesn't help us. Then the pracs invariably never work, and he blames us for not doing it, when it's usually that the prac is poorly written or the computers don't work.

The last straw was today; we had to do a prac component for the test, and he basically said "Ok, I didn't expect this many people to turn up, so we'll have half of you do the prac now and the other half do it in two hours." We walked out in protest and didn't do it. I'm sorry, but if you can't fucking organise a prac, you shouldn't be teaching. He didn't expect us to FUCKING TURN UP? IDIOT! We've decided to lodge a formal complaint and will try and get signatures from the class.

</rant>

Can anybody top that?

No, but I did have a professor that was trying to teach a civil engineering program he himself couldn't teach. I swear, I asked him how to label lines that I had input, he tried the same method I did and! -

I was told to ask him the next time we were in class. Then, that day, he gave a totally useless answer to my question, one that could have been solved easier by manually inputting text.

My flash drive failed at the end of the quarter and corrupted my engineering files (I had neglected to backup my flash drive files to the U's school-wide harddrive due to several user interface problems). That set me back. Unfortunately, I was stuck with the same professor my last term. I only turned in 8 of 10 drawings, and a couple weren't as great as I would have liked them to be...

A. I got an A.

Grrrrrr...

Not paticularly. But I have only been to a county .. technical college. And you all wouldn't want to hear my honest opinion about that.

Did you guys happen to see the chic on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" tonight who was a college grade and she thought a yard was like 300 plus feet. The question was along the lines of "If Johnny stood on Steves shoulders and they were 2 1/2 yards tall, how tall were they in feet". Just so happens the kid she had as her partner or whatever was female too.. that kid said the feet was 78. The college grade said 300 something... she lost first round. /clap. But it just backed the thought of women not grasping measures.. math. Made me sick. I wasn't even meaning to watch the show.. tv just happen to be the channel when I was gaming and it caught my attention. Jeff Foxworthy is the host, and he couldnt believe that chic didn't know how long a yard was. When trying to figure it out , she even said " I learnt this in chemistry class" WTF? Chemistry? I'm sincerely hoping she lied about going to college or even 5th grade. MY god.

Can anybody top that?

College Logics course.

this is the teacher's first day speech.

Welcome to Logical Thinking... My name is blah blah blah... etc.... etc... etc...

[now we get to the good part... remember the name of the course... Logical Thinking and Evaluation.]

"now, you all have your text books... [looks to make sure everyone has one] great. I'll be assigning the homework from those books. however, the lessions will be taken from this book. [Holds up a beaten up book].
*Several students raise their hand and asks for the title of the book.*
Don't worry about the name of the book, it's out of print, so you won't find it anyway.

I will assign the homework on Mondays, it will be due on Fridays. and there will be a test on every Thursday to cover the topic discussed.
*Student's hands go up. Question part I - Why is the homework turned in after the test on the same section is given? Answer: So you can use the Homework as a Study Guide to help you on the test. Question part II - So will we go over the homework to make sure we did it correctly? Answer: yes... we'll be doing that on Fridays.*

*Hands go back up - So why are you not using this (the book everyone was told to get) book for the lession plan. Answer - because I don't agree with everything in that book.*"

*at this point, the WTF! factor in everyone's brain just exploded... seriously... I heard mine, and I'm pretty damn sure I heard 'pops' from everyone elses brain.*

and that's how the Semester started.... by week 3 everyone though they were flunking... by week 8 everyone *knew* they were flunking.

Halfway through the Semester, the Dean walked in... Looked around... and quietly left. Later, I was called into the Dean's office...
His statement "is everything alright in that class? I visited that room and the tension just hit me like a sledgehammer."

I later found out that she was asking that of everyone and that everyone was giving the same report. that they were fustrated to the point of dropping the class... which would serve no purpose, since for our major, it was required... and HE taught the only class.

To think... before that class, I could do logic problems as easily as most people do crosswords... After that class, I can't stand to look at Logic Problems.

I still remember when I met him between classes before finals... he asked me "is there a problem with my class?"

and he probably still thinks his teaching methods were correct... :rolleyes:

Not paticularly. But I have only been to a county .. technical college. And you all wouldn't want to hear my honest opinion about that.

Did you guys happen to see the chic on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" tonight who was a college grade and she thought a yard was like 300 plus feet. The question was along the lines of "If Johnny stood on Steves shoulders and they were 2 1/2 yards tall, how tall were they in feet". Just so happens the kid she had as her partner or whatever was female too.. that kid said the feet was 78. The college grade said 300 something... she lost first round. /clap. But it just backed the thought of women not grasping measures.. math. Made me sick. I wasn't even meaning to watch the show.. tv just happen to be the channel when I was gaming and it caught my attention. Jeff Foxworthy is the host, and he couldnt believe that chic didn't know how long a yard was. When trying to figure it out , she even said " I learnt this in chemistry class" WTF? Chemistry? I'm sincerely hoping she lied about going to college or even 5th grade. MY god.

I don't know how long a yard is. I'm not American, though...

I don't know how long a yard is. I'm not American, though...

1 Yard = 3 feet

1 foot = 12 Inches.

so 2.5 yards = 30 inches.

One of my professors would usually start a lecture quite normally, then after about ten or twenty minutes get distracted and start going on about her private life. I didn't learn a lot about marketing, but at least I know that her cleaning woman was stealing from her ("and she's at least two sizes larger than me anyway, there's no WAY those jeans would fit her, but it must have been her that took them"), that she couldn't eat rabbit for 5 years after her daughter had been born because when she first saw the baby after the doc had got her out she instantly thought that this looked like a skinned rabbit, that she had to have a serious conversation with her Russian neighbours because they kept spitting on the stairs, that one of her friends once served champaign in what turned out to be dessert bowls, not champaign glasses ("and I think it's incredible that she couldn't tell the difference. After all, she's been a housewife for YEARS now...")

I somehow passed the exam, but those stories still make me laugh today, it's just too surreal.

Back in 10th grade, I had a math teacher who'd say "I hate kids" EVERY SINGLE DAY. It reached the point that, when he had to miss classes for several days (a detatched retina, to be exact) the class cheered.

I also had a pre-calculus professor that A) usually couldn't do the problems he was trying to explain in the first place, B) always went off into tangents about how so-and-so theorem would be used later; then made a comment about something we weren't learning and said not to remember that, and C) made definitions, explanations, and examples for theorems and etc. harder than what could be found in the book.

He also was fat, bald, and always brought a Shasta Root Beer soda to class. EVERY day.

I don't know how long a yard is. I'm not American, though...

She was.. and a college grad. Her connecting it to chemistry and comparing it to length of a football field (yes she compared it to a football field-- aren't football fields 100 yards?) was crazy.

One of my professors would usually start a lecture quite normally, then after about ten or twenty minutes get distracted and start going on about her private life. I didn't learn a lot about marketing, but at least I know that her cleaning woman was stealing from her ("and she's at least two sizes larger than me anyway, there's no WAY those jeans would fit her, but it must have been her that took them"), that she couldn't eat rabbit for 5 years after her daughter had been born because when she first saw the baby after the doc had got her out she instantly thought that this looked like a skinned rabbit, that she had to have a serious conversation with her Russian neighbours because they kept spitting on the stairs, that one of her friends once served champaign in what turned out to be dessert bowls, not champaign glasses ("and I think it's incredible that she couldn't tell the difference. After all, she's been a housewife for YEARS now...")

I somehow passed the exam, but those stories still make me laugh today, it's just too surreal.
That reminds me of my English Teacher... *not the worst, infact, one of my better teachers.*

other students referre to her as the "Death Clown". Her lessons were great. Except for certain times, Laughter could be heard from her classroom... GREAT PEALS of laughter. we're talking the class next door complaining of the laughter from her room. THAT's how much fun she was. a ball of energy that richocetts all over the damn place.

now... about those times when there is no laughter? during her tests. THEY were hard and they were brutal... and what they tested on was positively, 100% covered in her lectures.

Hence... Death Clown. she makes you laugh, then kills you on the tests and quizzes.

and that was High School.

College, I slept though my english classes... which pissed my profs off... because I was passing with high B's to high A's. :p

Back in 10th grade, I had a math teacher who'd say "I hate kids" EVERY SINGLE DAY. It reached the point that, when he had to miss classes for several days (a detatched retina, to be exact) the class cheered.

LOL .. my 6th grade teachers Mrs. Crumpton use to sleep all the time. She was alright tho.. not as a teacher .. but as a person.

In primary school we had a really fat substitute teacher. We pushed our desks close together, so that she couldn't move around the classroom. She wasn't a bad teacher, but we were really cruel to her.

In primary school we had a really fat substitute teacher. We pushed our desks close together, so that she couldn't move around the classroom. She wasn't a bad teacher, but we were really cruel to her.


That sucks. You ass holes.

LOL .. my 6th grade teachers Mrs. Crumpton use to sleep all the time. She was alright tho.. not as a teacher .. but as a person.

Well, see, my problem is that my teacher is not only an atrocious teacher, but he's also a horrible human being.

I had a substitute teacher named Ms. Dick once. She was subbing because there was a field trip to a theatre production that I and one other person did not go to (that's right - 2 whole people were in class).

She proudly wrote and anounced her name "Yes, this is my name - Ms. Dick" and that was where I stopped listening.

:p

My 6th grade teacher was forced to resign from teaching after he was accused of having molested children, during my 7th grade year (he resigned during my 7th grade year, that is). He was never formally charged because it was outside the statute of limitations, but according to my parents, the evidence was fairly strong. Does that count as bad enough?

My 6th grade teacher was forced to resign from teaching after he was accused of having molested children during my 7th grade year. He was never formally charged because it was outside the statute of limitations, but according to my parents, the evidence was fairly strong. Does that count as bad enough?

You win. Although I sorta meant "Teacher is an idiot" stuff than "Teacher is a criminal".

1 Yard = 3 feet

1 foot = 12 Inches.

so 2.5 yards = 30 inches.

Er....no

1 yard = 3 x 12 inches = 36 inches

2.5 yards = 2.5 x 36 = 90 inches

Easy mistake to make with our stupid imperial system:p

i had a bad teacher when i was about 6 iirc. she was evil. she labelled me as "stupid", because i was dyslexic, and wasn't afraid to let me or the rest of the class know it. she always made me work with the other dyslexic kid, and refused to help either of us, meaning neither of us really ever learned anything. she shouted at me a lot especially, and i would come home every day after school crying but too afraid to talk about it to my parents.

i remember one day in particular she made the class always eat their lunch and *then* drink their drinks. i was thirsty one day so i drank my drink first and, i think, asked a friend if i could have a sip of theirs. she took me away, smacked me, and sent me to stand outside for the rest of the afternoon.

when i got stung by a bee one time she just yelled at me to 'grow up!' when i started crying because it hurt.


if i had known better, or my parents had found out at the time, we would have SO reported her. i hope she's dead now.



i also had a convicted pedofile as a teacher in 6th form economics. but he was actually a fucking great teacher... shame he got fired.
plus all the usual stories... a chemistry teacher who taught one side of the course, who couldn't teach and was about 80 years old, and the class failed or did badly in all his modules. a music teacher who would totally ignore you unless you could *already* play the piano and read sheet music... etc

* I corrected the aforementioned teacher pretty much everyday.
* In (I think) fourth grade, we had a highly aggravating substitute teacher. She was annoyed enough to assign the class a five-hundred word paper about the civil war. Only one student handed in a paper, and that was the sentence 'The civil war was very very very very very very very bad." with enough verys to reach 500 words.
* I feel sorry for my 6th grade and 7th grade teacher. It must really suck being very overweight 300+ pounds, I believe) and having the name Mrs. Tubbs.

In first grade I had a dreadful teacher in her first year of teaching. She gave me the same book (which was aimed at a 3-4 yr-olds level) to read over and over again. As soon as I finished, she would just tell me to read it again. As you can imagine, I found this very upsetting.
One day at home, I burst into tears and refused to go to school. Mum eventually got the reason why out of me and stormed down to the school to sort matters out. The principal stuck up for the teacher and told Mum that it must be because I couldn't read or was retarded or something. Fortunately for me, my Mum's a teacher so asked them if they'd ever done a reading levels test on me. They hadn't and refused to do one - until Mum threatened to take the matter up with the education dept.
So they begrudingly tested my reading level - and found I was in fact reading at a 10 yr old level.
Did they apologise?
Of course not. The principal just changed tack and said it was because I was disruptive, not thick. Proof of this was the fact that I'd spent the last couple of weeks crying every time she made me read the same damn book.
The teacher by this time had up and quit. Just didn't show up to work one day. By some weird coincidence, 20 years later I was in a winery about 700 km away from where I attended primary school and through chatting with the winemaker's wife found out it was her. She'd met a Swiss guy sailing round the world one Friday and by the Monday was on his yacht heading off into the Pacific. Eventually they arrived back in Switzerland and 20 years later decided to move back to NZ and try their hand at wine.
small world.
And no, she didn't remember me. Or at least claimed not to.


Worst lecturer I ever had was this weirdo guy who - I swear - was a borderline autistic. He was "teaching" (in the broadest possible definition of that word) a Comercial Law paper.
It had a 80% failure rate each and every year.
This was due solely to his teaching.
For starters, about 400 people had enrolled into the paper. He booked, for the first semester, a lecture theatre that could hold - max - 300. Once all the seats were full, no-one else was allowed in. With no textbook and no notes available, you had to attend the lectures in order to keep up with the course and do the assignments (which were all based on his lecture notes).
He forgot to book it for the 2nd semester and so was forced to move into another lecture theatre - this one was even smaller, holding only 200. Obviously we complained about this, and demanded he hold a 2nd lecture during the week to accomodate all who missed out, but he (and the university) refused.
I could never go, as I had a two lecture right before across campus. Even if I ran I could never get there in time to snaffle a seat.
Not that it mattered, as his lecturing was so appalling no-one could understand what he was talking about. He would stand there mumbling monotonously in a very quiet voice (that couldn't be heard from the back of the theatre) staring straight into his notes, apparently oblivious to us all. If any student tried to ask him a question, most times he wouldn't notice. If he did, he'd look up and blink, as if amazed that he was in a hall full of students looking at him. He'd then stare at the student who had managed to grab his attention for a few seconds, before resuming his mumbling orations. He wouldn't answer the question.
I once saw him walking through the campus. It'd been raining and there were puddles abound. I watch him as he walked, head down, taking very short steps and clutching his notes hard against his chest. He got to a largish puddle (one you could easily step across but largish nonetheless). He stopped dead in his tracks. Stood there staring intently at the puddle for a few seconds. Then did a 90 degree right turn, walked forward two steps, 90 degree left turn - 2 steps, 90 degree left turn - 2 steps, 90 degree right turn and he was exactly across from the puddle where he'd stopped moments before. He then continued on his way, little steps little steps. It was bizarre to watch.
Oh, and yes I was one of the proud 80% who failed. iirc I got 42%. overall ave mark was somewhere in the low 50's. If memory serves me correctly, out of 400 students less than a dozen got an A.

Why do universities employ such people?
Because teaching is a minor and un-prestiguous part of university lecturehood. Research and publications is what gets the accolades and funding. So they happily employ people who are absolutely appalling teachers but have good research skills or are widely published.

I feel sorry for my 6th grade and 7th grade teacher. It must really suck being very overweight 300+ pounds, I believe) and having the name Mrs. Tubbs.

Hey, I had a teacher named Mrs.Tubbs! She wasn't fat, though. More of a mummy. She was also a Nazi.

Ironically, the worst teacher I've had was in the subject of University Teaching...

Even though I had registered for the course months in advance it took him until after the second lecture to actually get in touch with me. The course itself was entirely useless, also, other than teaching me how not to organize a course.

Mrs. Tubbs (mine, anyway) wasn;t a bad teacher, merely an ironically-named one.

Ironically, the worst teacher I've had was in the subject of University Teaching...

Even though I had registered for the course months in advance it took him until after the second lecture to actually get in touch with me. The course itself was entirely useless, also, other than teaching me how not to organize a course.

your lecturers got in touch with you? :eek:

fuck, even my "personal tutor" fucked off on sabbatical and dumped us with some poor postgrad student who i only met once, at my behest. in my second year i don't think i even got that, yet alone lecturers actually caring enough to talk to me.


one of my worst university experiences was an econometrics, maths & stats module's tutorial i showed up to once. the lady was assumedly another postgrad (god forbid the paid employees of the university actually do any teaching). i arrived a minute or two late to an absolutely silent tutorial room, was handed a paper, and told to get on with it. 45 minutes later she told us to stop and went round the room one by one asking for the answer. if the person got it right, she moved on. if they got it wrong she would explain it so fast and purely in maths-terms that most of the class was left blindingly confused. after a while she just skipped past me because i wasn't getting any of them right, largely because i didn't have a fucking clue. i failed that module with flying colours (14% in the final exam woo!) :D


i did have another module the next year though, studying politics, which, come the end of the year, a group of friends and i were discussing:

Friend 1: "that lecturer's a dick"
Me: "which one?"
Friend 2: "the guy for Political Science"
Me: *blank look*
Friend 1: "You know... the ginger guy with the beard, always talks *like this*"
Me: *more puzzlement*
Friend 2: "Monday morning, lecture hall 3?"


it dawned on me then that i'd never been to even one of these lectures over the whole year. monday morning's a stupid time for a lecture... don't these people know monday mornings are for hangovers? :p

so between that one and another politics module i pretty much missed out as well, it was a small miricle that i passed at the end of the year :p

Well, see, my problem is that my teacher is not only an atrocious teacher, but he's also a horrible human being.


Well given your record re threatening to burn down mosques, "cronulla forever" and various other prounouncements, you'll pardon me not taking your word as authority on either teaching ability or what might qualify one as a "horrible" human being.

In the fifth grade I had a messed up music teacher who always insulted us cuz we sounded like shit. She got furious with one guy cuz he couldn't sing at all, got read as a tomato in the face and said "You sound like...like....like a COW!!!"(I remember it cuz it was so funny) We also had a test on stuff we hadn't even covered so she stood there and read the answers from the answer sheet to some, not to me though.

One teacher got three years in prison cuz he was a paedophile. But he was a good teacher. He was liked by all.

My 6th grade science teacher would occasionally do something interesting but would usually just give us busy work.
The next year she was arrested for abusing her grandchildren.

I took Military History my senior year of High School. I figured it would be an easy credit, since I was already very interested in the subject, and had done plenty of reading on it over the years on my own.

The teacher was completely unknowlegable on the subject. I can recall correcting him in class on no less than seven different occasions, on topics ranging from the Union Blockade of the South during the American Civil War to the composition of Japanese and American forces during the Battle of Leyte Gulf.

Needless to say, he didn't like me very much. The feeling was mutual, as I am certain the only reason he got the job teaching that class in the first place was because a relative of his is on the district school board.

I didn't even do my final project, and still got an A, simply because I had annihilated every assignment, quiz, and test that was issued.

I don't mind a teacher who is only a chapter ahead of the class, but honestly...this guy was stating complete inaccuracy as fact. Don't pull random crap out of your ass as a teacher and expect nobody to call you on it.

We had one fella that had a habit of using his stick not like a cane, but with a small bit of it sticking out of his fist, thumping with it in a downwards motion. Hurt like a bastard, especially on the shoulders and upper arms. If he had you marked as troubkle, and you pissed him off, he could lose the run of himself and beat the shit out of you.

Somebody once broke his "clatterin' stick" and he hauled out whoever he thought was in the area and beat the crap out of them until he got a name. Then he went into another teachers class and dragged the guilty party out, giving various punches and clatters on the way. He gave him such a belt (in the fashion described earlier) on the head he split yer mans scalp, wich is a very messy cut. At this stage the other teacher stepped in and pulled him off by the coat-tails. He apparently had to apologise later......

All sports teachers are evil, and when I am king will be amongst the first* against the wall.

*Hey, it's a long list.

Never had any bad teachers. But then i am the result of the superior scandinacian educational system. :)

my worst teacher was my A level french teacher. she was just shit at french. there were kids in the class who were better than her. and she forgot to teach part of the syllabus too. i stopped going to lessons after a while cuz i just wasn't learning anything.

All sports teachers are evil, and when I am king will be amongst the first* against the wall.

*Hey, it's a long list.

oh yeh, one of my sports teachers used to watch us in the showers after PE. i went home stinking rather than have that.

My father is a bad teacher... I never was in his school except for a few rare occasions when I was 'emloyed' to fix some problems with the Windozes. When I was finished, I went to his class (we agreed on that earlier)... Let's say that my father would make a good drill sergeant or something like that. He however is not a good maths teacher.

We had one fella that had a habit of using his stick not like a cane, but with a small bit of it sticking out of his fist, thumping with it in a downwards motion. Hurt like a bastard, especially on the shoulders and upper arms. If he had you marked as troubkle, and you pissed him off, he could lose the run of himself and beat the shit out of you.

Somebody once broke his "clatterin' stick" and he hauled out whoever he thought was in the area and beat the crap out of them until he got a name. Then he went into another teachers class and dragged the guilty party out, giving various punches and clatters on the way. He gave him such a belt (in the fashion described earlier) on the head he split yer mans scalp, wich is a very messy cut. At this stage the other teacher stepped in and pulled him off by the coat-tails. He apparently had to apologise later......

How fucking OLD are you? That sounds like a scenario out of the 1800s.

i just remembered about one of my maths teachers, he was awful. if he got pissed off he'd shout so loud and swearing like you wouldn't believe. even when talking normally he'd be spitting everywhere. he was creepy too, when he went around the class to see how everyone was doing he'd come in with his face really close so you could feel the heat off him. very uncomfortable. he was also fascinated with this ex-teacher who was a convicted paedophile. used to talk about him often. this particular paedo on a school trip organised a "wet pajama" contest and looked down the kids pajama bottoms too. and while recounting this story my maths teacher asked us all what we wore in bed. he was also a crap teacher. his set was the 2nd set, after a year of his teaching i lost the ability to do maths and went down to the 4th set for my GCSEs and had to do the intermediate paper.

oh yeh, and he's now a priest...

How fucking OLD are you?

37.

He apparently had to apologise later......

He had to apologize? Why didn't he get frickin' sued???

He had to apologize? Why didn't he get frickin' sued???

From the story and his use of "-ise", I suspect Nodina may be a UKnian.
Things didn't work like that here back then.

Edit: He could, of course, be from one of the many countries where it still doesn't work like that now...

He had to apologize? Why didn't he get frickin' sued???

jesus, that guy should have been locked up :eek:
or at least fired!

Never had any bad teachers. But then i am the result of the superior scandinacian educational system. :)

Maybe your typing teacher? :D

Sorry, but that one was too easy to pass. I like Scandinavia. ;)

He had to apologize? Why didn't he get frickin' sued???

I'm surprised they let him get a job in the education sector anywhere in the country after that...

From the story and his use of "-ise", I suspect Nodina may be a UKnian.
Things didn't work like that here back then.

Actually, "-ise" could indicate... just about any English-speaking country besides the US. The UK, Aus, RSA, Ireland, NZ...

From the story and his use of "-ise", I suspect Nodina may be a UKnian.
Things didn't work like that here back then.

Edit: He could, of course, be from one of the many countries where it still doesn't work like that now...

Admittedly, I'm not sure how it worked in Brazil back then. Regardless, if unable to sue, I'd hire a few guys to... apply the stick to the teacher, should that ever happen to one of my kids. They'd beat the fuck out of him and take away his kidney, so the whole thing paid for itself. I AM a very economic person after all. ;)

He had to apologize? Why didn't he get frickin' sued???

Wasn't that extraordinary. He could always say he slipped and had only meant to give him a belt on the shoulder anyway.

The worst beating I saw was actually by the principal of the junior school (A priest, dead now, the bastard). A few of the lads jumped on the back of the bin truck as it went through the school yard. One fella, ironically and unluckily in shorts, was the one he caught. The principal carried his cane with him at all times, and must have been waiting to pounce just inside the doors. He nipped out and caught yer man as he dropped off. He whipped the legs off him with the thing - (it was a narrow, very flexible bamboo job). I can still remember the welts on his leg after. He was on the ground begging yer man to stop. He hit him until he got up and then hit him along to his office, to take a note of it to bring home to the parents and give him a few across the hands.


From the story and his use of "-ise", I suspect Nodina may be a UKnian.???

Irish.

Wasn't that extraordinary. He could always say he slipped and had only meant to give him a belt on the shoulder anyway.

I really, REALLY wish there'd ever been a story about the kids fighting back and lynching this kind of sadistic psycho.

I really, REALLY wish there'd ever been a story about the kids fighting back and lynching this kind of sadistic psycho.

Well, we were about 10-11 years old (at most) at that stage, so it would have taken a large number to manage it. It was abolished by the time we went into secondary/"high school" so I was lucky, really.

*snip*

Can anybody top that?
I had a high school geography teacher who couldn't pronounce (or define) "archipelago."

She pronounced it, "arr-key-pel-AY-ga."

Well, we were about 10-11 years old (at most) at that stage, so it would have taken a large number to manage it. It was abolished by the time we went into secondary/"high school" so I was lucky, really.

Well, with the correct leadership, a group of some 20 11-year olds could manage to deliver a fine beating to a person. Of course, it didn't have to be "your age", it could be people that were 15 or 16 at that time...

My algebra teacher last semester skipped over the two chapters that basically showed us how to do everything we were doing the rest of the semester because "we should already know that", even though the class before his did not include it, so I'm not sure why he assumed that. Ask him for help with a problem, and his answer: "you're doing something wrong", and then sits back with a self-satisfied smile, waiting for you to figure it out. Well, duh, I'm doing something wrong, that's why I asked you to help me out!

He also seems incapable of drawing a straight line, and will confuse the hell out of everyone by spending twenty minutes covering the board with some convoluted way of solving a problem, only at the end after we've all copied it down into our notes, explain that he showed us that as an example of how NOT to do a problem. What the hell? Just show us the right way to do it!

I had a high school geography teacher who couldn't pronounce (or define) "archipelago."

She pronounced it, "arr-key-pel-AY-ga."

I can top that with my English Literature professor that couldn't pronounce English at all.

"ZIZ iz HOW she SPEEKZ!! LOUDLY at some POINTZ and with a VERY BAD habit of making ANYZING zat lookz like an "s" or a "th" SOUND like a Z!!!!"

And her teaching had about the same quality of her pronunciation. She picked favorite students shamelessly, she taught poorly and then demanded a lot, she was, all-in-all, a horrible professor and not that good a person.

"you're doing something wrong", and then sits back with a self-satisfied smile, waiting for you to figure it out.

My answer: "So are you", and then sit back with a self-satisfied smile, waiting for HIM to figure it out. :p

My answer: "So are you", and then sit back with a self-satisfied smile, waiting for HIM to figure it out. :p
OT, you got a TG, finally (Gomen).

I had a really bad teacher last year:

One was Mrs. Brown, the Latin teacher. She was pathetic, could hardly speak English let alone Latin. Halfway through the lecture she would go off on a tangent, about something or another, and then never finish the lecture or the tangent, it was just off to another lesson plan.

She got fired right at the end of the year, like there is 3 weeks left to the final (for the midterm she let us use note card with answers on it, so basically she not only allowed cheating but encouraged it.) So we get this hot Latin IV student who tried teaching us, we learned more it those 3 weeks, than we learned in the entire course before that. But all the class still failed the final.

Then this year I walk into my new Latin class with one off the best teachers around, Dr. Nel. We were taking a test, and he said that all those that had Brown were not going to take it, because he new we would all fail.

I’ll end this rant as I’ll try to calm myself.

OT, you got a TG, finally (Gomen).

Considering you're doing me the favor of translating something, you don't need to apologize. Thanks. :)

Socrates. Fucker drank hemlock before he got through grading everybody...

1 Yard = 3 feet

1 foot = 12 Inches.

so 2.5 yards = 30 inches.

um.....does not compute....

My high school humanities (a class that, at my school, amounted to history of the Christian church) teacher was sixty-something and married and constantly made sexually inappropriate comments too and about the girls in my class. That was the highlight of the class, but he also showed us Kent Hovind videos (you know, the guy who says the earth is 6,000 years old and dinosaurs lived at the same time as people) in order to "give us something to think about" and was flat out wrong so often that I think I must have corrected him at least twice every class. I was ecstatic when I heard he finally got canned earlier this year.

Not my professor, but a couple of my friends had a journalism professor who pronounced "tsunami" as "too-sa-nee-mee." And yes, this was after the one in 2004 that killed 200,000 people. It's inexplicable that anyone could not know how to pronounce "tsunami" after it had been all over the news for weeks, least of all a journalism professor.

Okay the teachers I dont like are

Mrs.Reduzzi-English teacher
= Loud, Not professional, Has tons of mistakes on tests, can't add correctly when giving averages, and I just dont like reading in class

Thankfully the school year is over.

Okay the teachers I dont like are

Mrs.Reduzzi-English teacher
= Loud, Not professional, Has tons of mistakes on tests, can't add correctly when giving averages, and I just dont like reading in class

Thankfully the school year is over.

I had a third grade teacher physically throw me into a closet in the classroom. It was not for not doing my homework but for not getting the homework, which I had completed, signed by my parents. I had forgotten to get them to sign it three days in a row and he lost it.


Yeah, he was fired the next year for similar doings.

I've been pretty lucky - most of my teachers have been awesome. I can recall a few incidents, though:

During the 6th and 7th grade (year 7 and year 8 for the Brits) I lived in Cambridge, England. I once got into an argument with my geography teacher. He was talking about major volcanoes, and said that Mt. St. Helens is in the Rocky Mountains.

I put my hand up.
"Mr. Lucas?"
"Yes?"
"Actually, Mt. St. Helens is in the Cascade Range, not the Rockies."
"No, it is in the Rockies."
"It's in the Cascades."

Eventually, he cut off debate with the comment that "Well, the Cascades are part of the Rockies for our purposes."

Now, you might wonder, what gives me the right to correct my geography teacher? Well, while Mr. Lucas almost certainly was my superior in world geography, Mt. St. Helens happens to be in the Pacific Northwest, where I hail from. I can forgive him for not knowing about the difference between the Rockies and the Cascades. But ignoring the corrections of someone who LIVES in the area of dispute...

Another teacher of mine is a young-earth creationist. Fortunately, he is not a science teacher, but a rabbi, who teaches religion. In that area, he is quite qualified. He is also a very cool guy, probably because he's in his twenties, and has to wear a beard lest he be confused for a student. Ironically, the classroom in which he taught me Genesis was used by the biology teacher (who was, of course, an evolutionist) in the afternoon.

Finally, there is my physics teacher. He is one of my absolute favorite teachers, but I do correct him. This is not because he doesn't know the material - he does - but because physics is my passion, and I know a lot more than he does. Fortunately, he knows this, and can count on me to correct him when he makes a mistake.

Did you guys happen to see the chic on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" tonight who was a college grade and she thought a yard was like 300 plus feet. The question was along the lines of "If Johnny stood on Steves shoulders and they were 2 1/2 yards tall, how tall were they in feet". Just so happens the kid she had as her partner or whatever was female too.. that kid said the feet was 78. The college grade said 300 something... she lost first round. /clap. But it just backed the thought of women not grasping measures.. math. Made me sick. I wasn't even meaning to watch the show.. tv just happen to be the channel when I was gaming and it caught my attention. Jeff Foxworthy is the host, and he couldnt believe that chic didn't know how long a yard was. When trying to figure it out , she even said " I learnt this in chemistry class" WTF? Chemistry? I'm sincerely hoping she lied about going to college or even 5th grade. MY god.

Yeah, I did. It was if Jake stood on Spencers shoulders they are 2 1/2 yards high. How many feet are they. She said "I wanna say the size of a football field and get it done with. The kid said 78 feet she said 312. IT'S 7 1/2!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad she walked away with no money, HA HA HA!!!! *points and laughs*

My honors bio teacher in high school was a gifted grant writer, but an awful teacher, awful organizer and a total moron.

For example, when we dissected the fetal pigs, she somehow thought it would be a great idea to only have latex gloves for 1/4 of the hands in the classroom. Thus, for each pair of partners, there was a single glove.

Or how about the whole marvelous "dolphins have gills" incident?

Oh, lord, I could go on and on.

One Summer Semester during my time at the community college, I had to take three classes. Two history classes and One religion class. All taught by the same guy, who was a Baptist Preacher. (You know where this is going already don't you?) He did cover the context of the class, but every other day he had a sermon, and usually his sermon was Anti-Catholic (He was trying to 'save' us), Anti-Paganism, Anti-Mormonism (We actually watched a film about how Mormonism was a death cult) and ugh. Several students (including myself) filed a complaint with the President of the college and he was fired.

When I was at the 4 year college, I had a professor who could not TEACH at all, I mean COULD NOT teach, it's a miracle anyone passed that class at all. He wasn't as bad as the Baptist Preacher, but he couldn't cover the context, was always talking about the middle school that he taught at (It was a night class) and you just couldn't understand his notes, he was just a horrible teacher.

Because I wasn't up with the jive-talk of marginal academia, I mistakenly took a course called "Chicano Literature" which, much to my surprise, disgust, and chagrin, was not about great south American writers, but instead a trivial, amateur, self-important and uninteresting genre comprising of Mexicans in the US who didn't think they were Mexicans, and didn't think they were Americans. And loved to whine about it.

The professor was a self-important hack and imbecile, who looked like a clown.

My final paper was about how machismo bias in chicanoalomarxopostmodernisticioixtlan 'culture' could have roots and reenforcement because of the way Spanish-speakers talk in Spanish. A better command and and understanding/internalization of English was proposed as a solution for their problem. I knew he wouldn't like it, which is why I wrote it, and he didn't, and he can go to hell.

One Summer Semester during my time at the community college, I had to take three classes. Two history classes and One religion class. All taught by the same guy, who was a Baptist Preacher. (You know where this is going already don't you?) He did cover the context of the class, but every other day he had a sermon, and usually his sermon was Anti-Catholic (He was trying to 'save' us), Anti-Paganism, Anti-Mormonism (We actually watched a film about how Mormonism was a death cult) and ugh. Several students (including myself) filed a complaint with the President of the college and he was fired.

As an occultist myself I would file a complaint per day until he got fired. I will NOT have a person in a position of authority trying to attack my religion.

Most of my teachers were pretty good. I remember my Spanish 1 teacher though. Her class was a complete joke. We didn't really learn anything, and she allowed us to retake our tests as many times as we wanted until we got an A. I think everyone in both of her Spanish classes got A's.

At the beginning of this year (9th grade), I had a history teacher who was absolutely horrible. She liked a handful of people in the entire grade, and the rest went through a living hell. Oh, and apparently she thought a papal bull was, well, a bull and that the word steppe was pronounced steppy. Whether or not this is true, my friends and I still joke about papal bulls migrating across the Asian Steppy...she lasted all of 7 weeks.

EDIT: Oh, there was also my science teacher this year. If you can't pronounce the word "inertia" you probably shouldn't be teaching Physics.

My teacher wanted to sue me.

I nominate my kindergarten teacher "Mrs. Proud" a well named woman. She took on 45 kids without any help.

A very mean and bitter woman. Actually sent a couple kids to mental problems for life. Nearly every day several kids cried because of her behavior.

This was 50 years ago so I assume she's dead. I wish I knew where she was buried so I could urinate on her grave.

This was 50 years ago so I assume she's dead. I wish I knew where she was buried so I could urinate on her grave.

If she was that bad, the grave may have washed away....

If you can't pronounce the word "inertia" you probably shouldn't be teaching Physics.

Nice one-liner! :D

My one teacher in middle school was a fucking bitch.

She once made me change desks with another kid. He always drew all over his desk, so when I had to sit where he did, it was a mess. I asked her if it was possible to have it cleaned. She began laughing at me and insisting it was my responcibility to clean up this asshole's mess. She then called the next door teacher over to hear what I just asked. They had a great time laughing at me and making me look like an ass in front of my classmates.

My one teacher in middle school was a fucking bitch.

She once made me change desks with another kid. He always drew all over his desk, so when I had to sit where he did, it was a mess. I asked her if it was possible to have it cleaned. She began laughing at me and insisting it was my responcibility to clean up this asshole's mess. She then called the next door teacher over to hear what I just asked. They had a great time laughing at me and making me look like an ass in front of my classmates.

Hmm, so that why people shoot up schools....

Man if that happened to me back in middle school, I would've exploded, and I mean really exploded. Back then I didn't have my temper, or emotions that well under control.

I suppose I have an anecdote about an evil 2nd grade teacher. Could be why I dislike Virginians so much (yeah, i moved to NC from Virginia, but I hadn't even lived in VA for a year and my dad already worked in NC, that's why we moved).

Anyway, I started second grade (the first time...) at 6. I had a horrible teacher named Mrs. Culbreth, and she just constantly yelled at me for stupid crap that wasn't really my fault. I was a new kid so I came into her class a few weeks late (I think it was September though), and we did not get off to a good start. Of course we had to write and all that, but there was a catch. I was born in Ohio but when I was 4 I moved to the UK and started school there, and moved back to the US at 6, so I'd learned to do things the British way (and I still do some things the british way... >.>) Anyway I'd learned how to do things in the UK that weren't done in the US, and she did not like that because I apparently wasn't American enough. And she thought I was a juvenile delquent though everyone else who had known me back then said I was very well-behaved. At a parent-teacher conference she ticked my mom off so much that my mom literally told her to go F&*k herself. Yeah... fun times. Fortunately I moved to NC right after that year ended, and started 2nd grade again at another school.

In fourth grade I was picked on by a teacher because I was rather "spacey" (I was diagnosed with ADD that year). I remember that I was talking with a friend (as were many people) butI started laughing and she got upset for no reason. Another time I lost a pre-write (in NC we have state writing tests in fourth grade... god i hate the US education system!), and she dumped out the contents of my desk onto the floor and my desk was... let's just say it wasn't exactly organized. The year before I was really shy and in fourth grade I'd made a few friends, who happened to be boys. We were playing some game one day and the teacher asked me what game we were playing. I didn't know the name of the game, it was just a game that we'd made up. I couldn't give her the name of it so I got in trouble. :mad:

i have a few more evil-teacher stories, but not tonight. I'm tired and rather lazy right now.

The lack of "shit beaten out of me/them/him/her" stories makes me feel greatly aged.......

Wasn't that extraordinary. He could always say he slipped and had only meant to give him a belt on the shoulder anyway.

The worst beating I saw was actually by the principal of the junior school (A priest, dead now, the bastard). A few of the lads jumped on the back of the bin truck as it went through the school yard. One fella, ironically and unluckily in shorts, was the one he caught. The principal carried his cane with him at all times, and must have been waiting to pounce just inside the doors. He nipped out and caught yer man as he dropped off. He whipped the legs off him with the thing - (it was a narrow, very flexible bamboo job). I can still remember the welts on his leg after. He was on the ground begging yer man to stop. He hit him until he got up and then hit him along to his office, to take a note of it to bring home to the parents and give him a few across the hands.

Irish.

wow thats a great example of why corporal punishment shouldnt be allowed in schools. what kind of a nut thinks that caning is the proper punishment for jumping on a truck?

wow thats a great example of why corporal punishment shouldnt be allowed in schools. what kind of a nut thinks that caning is the proper punishment for jumping on a truck?

*Raises hand* But then my headmistress was very attractive :p

*Raises hand* But then my headmistress was very attractive :p

so its OK to be beaten half to death by a pretty woman?

It's a toss up between the English teacher cum alcoholic, History teacher who spent all lesson, every lesson on MSN, and the Ancient Greek teacher who spoke less than 50 words of English.

so its OK to be beaten half to death by a pretty woman?

Depends on your personal tastes

Depends on your personal tastes

oh i dont think so.

youve let your sexual fantasies get in the way of understanding nodinia's story.

oh i dont think so.

youve let your sexual fantasies get in the way of understanding nodinia's story.

You've let your sense of humour leave you. Relax it was just a bad joke

wow thats a great example of why corporal punishment shouldnt be allowed in schools. what kind of a nut thinks that caning is the proper punishment for jumping on a truck?

Caning/hitting was punishment for nearly everything. He died (alcohol related) and was replaced by another priest, who was less prone to losing the run of himself. He used a short leather thing....it was a number of strips of thick leather sewn together one atop the other. I personally thought it wasn't as bad as the cane, which really cut into you.

I might point out that this was not a "rough" school by any manner of means. Synge street run by the Christian brothers was far harsher, as far as I understand.

Caning/hitting was punishment for nearly everything. He died (alcohol related) and was replaced by another priest, who was less prone to losing the run of himself. He used a short leather thing....it was a number of strips of thick leather sewn together one atop the other. I personally thought it wasn't as bad as the cane, which really cut into you.

I might point out that this was not a "rough" school by any manner of means. Synge street run by the Christian brothers was far harsher, as far as I understand.

*shudder*

those were the good old days eh?

im old enough that when i was in grade school there were teachers who had a paddle. they looked like they hurt but i never saw a boy be given more than 5 smacks on his behind. no one ever lost control like that. (we did have one teacher who would hit kids on the top of the head for not paying attention. not a good choice.)

You've let your sense of humour leave you. Relax it was just a bad joke

i know it was. i was having none of it.

i know it was. i was having none of it.

Very stern of you.

I don't have any stories of horrid teachers towards myself but I did have one wacko at uni who taught a class called "Earth Science". I assumed this was a geology class and I needed science credits and wanted to avoid labs so I grabbed it. First day in when she was talking about the course she started off fine, talking about those oh-so-interesting geological matters and then suddenly it happened. Aliens. Yes, apparently she was telling us that she would give us in detail about how aliens created the Earth and humans as well and that their mini planet used to be in orbit. They created us from their own genes or something which is why at the beginning of the Bible we were so long lived given our closeness to our alien masters. We would visit such subjects as the Sphinx in Egypt and the "Face" on Mars. Astrology. I tell you, that first day everyone in class was either staring at her or glancing at each other and the teachers aide refused to make eye contact with any of us.

Of course in the 3 exams she gave, 90% of the questions were True & False and every last answer was "True", without fail. Just as well given the questions, so while she was a looney it allowed a easy A to go to my GPA.

So maybe the whole thing is a wash. :p

I don't have any stories of horrid teachers towards myself but I did have one wacko at uni who taught a class called "Earth Science". I assumed this was a geology class and I needed science credits and wanted to avoid labs so I grabbed it. First day in when she was talking about the course she started off fine, talking about those oh-so-interesting geological matters and then suddenly it happened. Aliens. Yes, apparently she was telling us that she would give us in detail about how aliens created the Earth and humans as well and that their mini planet used to be in orbit. They created us from their own genes or something which is why at the beginning of the Bible we were so long lived given our closeness to our alien masters. We would visit such subjects as the Sphinx in Egypt and the "Face" on Mars. Astrology. I tell you, that first day everyone in class was either staring at her or glancing at each other and the teachers aide refused to make eye contact with any of us.

Of course in the 3 exams she gave, 90% of the questions were True & False and every last answer was "True", without fail. Just as well given the questions, so while she was a looney it allowed a easy A to go to my GPA.

So maybe the whole thing is a wash. :p

Just for the record, most occultists aren't this kind of nutcase. :p

Just for the record, most occultists aren't this kind of nutcase. :p

Makes me feel so much better. :p

Oh and she called the aliens gods that she emphasized was with a small "g" and that the Sphinx face was not whichever Pharaoh its supposed to represent but one of the "gods". Along with the whole controversy of the weathering on the rock that matches water erosion that is supposed to make it older than it really is.

Damn, now I want to trash my room to find my old notes so I can remember more of the details of that class. :eek:

Makes me feel so much better. :p

Oh and she called the aliens gods that she emphasized was with a small "g" and that the Sphinx face was not whichever Pharaoh its supposed to represent but one of the "gods". Along with the whole controversy of the weathering on the rock that matches water erosion that is supposed to make it older than it really is.

Damn, now I want to trash my room to find my old notes so I can remember more of the details of that class. :eek:

Trust me, I could beat the crap out of her in an argument about mysticism. :p

Trust me, I could beat the crap out of her in an argument about mysticism. :p

I don't even know if I should call this mysticism but batshit craziness. The woman must have tenure, only way I can see they'd keep her on to throw upon unsuspecting university students. :p

I don't even know if I should call this mysticism but batshit craziness. The woman must have tenure, only way I can see they'd keep her on to throw upon unsuspecting university students. :p

Or it could be that the department heads of said university are sadistic bastards who like driving students insane...

What, it's possible...

I’ve only had one bad teacher. He's a Maths/ICT teacher and all he does is telling you what to do then go on his laptop. When you look at his screen you see e-mails, but we recon that he goes on games or msn when nobodies looking. Luckily I only had him for a few weeks in year 9 for ICT, but my mates get him for maths and none of them completed their statistics coursework. And this is one of the top sets as well.

As far as corporal punishment goes, if you saw some of the little shits we have in our school... they deserve the shit kicked out of them and maybe it would knock some sense into the idiots. And I’m in a high school which is year 9 to year 11 so where not talking little kids here. Besides, my parents went through corporal punishment at school and it did them no harm.

I don't have any stories of horrid teachers towards myself but I did have one wacko at uni who taught a class called "Earth Science". I assumed this was a geology class and I needed science credits and wanted to avoid labs so I grabbed it. First day in when she was talking about the course she started off fine, talking about those oh-so-interesting geological matters and then suddenly it happened. Aliens. Yes, apparently she was telling us that she would give us in detail about how aliens created the Earth and humans as well and that their mini planet used to be in orbit. They created us from their own genes or something which is why at the beginning of the Bible we were so long lived given our closeness to our alien masters. We would visit such subjects as the Sphinx in Egypt and the "Face" on Mars. Astrology. I tell you, that first day everyone in class was either staring at her or glancing at each other and the teachers aide refused to make eye contact with any of us.

Of course in the 3 exams she gave, 90% of the questions were True & False and every last answer was "True", without fail. Just as well given the questions, so while she was a looney it allowed a easy A to go to my GPA.

So maybe the whole thing is a wash. :pYou were Punk'd.

I used to have a Design and Technology teacher who, rather than use clamps to hold a piece of wood whilst he was sawing through it, would pick the two girls in the class with the shortest skirts to sit on it and hold it still. He was the creepiest teacher I had, he quietly left halfway through the year.

My GCSE/A Level music teacher was pretty bad. She was a lovely person but an awful teacher. When she got bored of teaching, or had other stuff to do, she'd just make us watch Fantasia. Thats when she turned up to class of course.

My Maths teacher used to scare the shit out of me. She'd be lovely, then suddenly start screaming at everyone if someone so much as coughed. On the bright side, I was so terrified of getting an answer wrong, that I learnt everything by heart and got myself an A :p

One more to complain about... I had a lecturer in the first year of uni who treated us like we were kids. He'd stop his lecture halfway through and spend 10 minutes shouting at someone for having a drink (drinks were allowed). I lodged a formal complaint after he took me out of the class because I dropped my pen, the guy sat next to me picked it up, and I nodded my head to say thanks. Apparently I was being disruptive.

After my complaint, several others added theirs. He still works there, but he stopped teaching that class, and only does the small tutorials for a few electives now.

You were Punk'd.

Ashton must have been dragging it out for awhile because it lasted the entire term. :p

Ashton must have been dragging it out for awhile because it lasted the entire term. :p

:p

I never had an insane teacher... unless you count my second grade teacher who i kindly mentioned a page or two back.

:p

I never had an insane teacher... unless you count my second grade teacher who i kindly mentioned a page or two back.

Well she was more of a (if you'll pardon me) bitch, not insane. I'll take insane any day over that woman you were stuck with.

My tenth-grade history teacher was abysmal. He would give us a worksheet that was copied verbatim straight out of the book, but with key words replaced with blanks, and we had to fill in the blanks using the book. He gave us about three days to finish a worksheet that took 20 minutes to do (our class periods were an hour and a half long, too), so my now roommate and I played a LOT of Hangman in that class.

After the three days were up, we'd usually get another worksheet. Lather, rinse, repeat until the unit ends. Then he'd have us highlight the sentences from those worksheets that would be on the test. Come test time, we were allowed to use our highlighted notes.

All that would just make him a bad teacher, but once every two weeks or so, he'd get fed up with the unruly class and spend an entire hour-and-a-half period standing on his desk and shouting at us to "Shut the fluff up." Then he'd capriciously assign the entire class reports because some of the kids were bad.

As if it couldn't get any better, he lived right next door to me, and one day found that the fence bordering our properties was off by three feet, so he started taking down our fence and building his own without even contacting us.

Oh, and then there was the time he got pissed and violently shook me for no reason. That was fun.

God, I hated that prick.

Well she was more of a (if you'll pardon me) bitch, not insane. I'll take insane any day over that woman you were stuck with.

Oh, you're pardoned. My mom did tell her to go f#@k herself. :p