NationStates Jolt Archive

Pull off a testicle.

Any man should be reduced to whimpering and cowering (if not outright unconsciousness from the pain) by simply grabbing and removing one or both testicles.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Admittedly, the example here is not self-defense, but the reaction of an outraged woman, but the basic fact stands that it's extremely effective.

Men, take note - because it looks like they come off rather easily.

Umm................................................................................................. .................................................what?

What the hell does losing a nut have to do with Bottle and the Scientific Method?

Umm................................................................................................. .................................................what?

What the hell does losing a nut have to do with Bottle and the Scientific Method?

Bottle is a scientist, a practical woman, and would probably go for the nuts in a fight.

I'm trying to figure out the kinesthetics of this and I'm having difficulty. what was he wearing at the time of the pulling--was he down to his underwear and having second thoughts about going through with it? I'm just trying to figure out how she would up with his testicle in her hand if he was wearing anything more than underwear.

I'm trying to figure out the kinesthetics of this and I'm having difficulty. what was he wearing at the time of the pulling--was he down to his underwear and having second thoughts about going through with it? I'm just trying to figure out how she would up with his testicle in her hand if he was wearing anything more than underwear.

She apparently tore it, and his pants, off.

Bottle is a scientist, a practical woman, and would probably go for the nuts in a fight.

Disregarding how ludicrous that is, what does that have to do with the Scientific Method?

Disregarding how ludicrous that is, what does that have to do with the Scientific Method?

Bottle is a scientist. She would probably use her knowledge of anatomy to strike with the most effectiveness possible.

I named this method after her.

She ripped off his testicle cause he wouldn't get back with her?

Damn, thats messed up.

There's probably a lesson in this: Don't date crazy chicks.

I don't understand the confusion displayed in this thread.

The ripping off of testicles = science. Bottle likes science.

It is not that hard to understand.

The title is entirely unnecessary. It's designed to provoke.

Your title is suggesting that Bottle is a violent woman who would deliberately rip off a man's testicles. Even if she is a strong-willed woman who doesn't take any shit from men, there is no reason to place that implication in the title.

"in unrelated news, many gitmo inmates are missing atleast one of their testicles."

After reading the first line, my first thought was, " he had to have cheated." and then I thought about how much that had to hurt, then it made me wince.

The title is entirely unnecessary. It's designed to provoke.

Your title is suggesting that Bottle is a violent woman who would deliberately rip off a man's testicles. Even if she is a strong-willed woman who doesn't take any shit from men, there is no reason to place that implication in the title.

It's not designed to provoke. It's intended to be humorous.

The implication is that Bottle, in a moment of self-defense, would not kill, but would take the most obvious anatomical weakness, and use it to her advantage.

It's not designed to provoke. It's intended to be humorous.

Humour: F+

Nice try but it's the lamest attempt at humour I've seen here on NSG and most days it leaves me wondering just what people are thinking, if at all when they attempt humour here.

The implication is that Bottle, in a moment of self-defense, would not kill, but would take the most obvious anatomical weakness, and use it to her advantage.
Kicking would be faster in a self-defense situation.

Humour: F+

Nice try but it's the lamest attempt at humour I've seen here on NSG and most days it leaves me wondering just what people are thinking, if at all when they attempt humour here.


Kicking would be faster in a self-defense situation.

You're obviously a humorless person. Did you have it removed in an operation?

You're obviously a humorless person. Did you have it removed in an operation?

congrats you killed the crickets.

You're obviously a humorless person. Did you have it removed in an operation?

I hired a hitman to take out my humour. It was preventing my cynicism from flourishing.

Who would kill a woman for ripping of your balls?:p

I hired a hitman to take out my humour. It was preventing my cynicism from flourishing.

You still haven't paid me fully for that.

Who would kill a woman for ripping of your balls?:p

a lot of guys i know.

She ripped off his balls... and tried to eat them?????

Because he wouldn't have sex with her?????

What the fuck?????


And for the record, no I don'tt hink Bottle would rip off someone's nuts.

how much force does it take to rip a man's testicle off?

ive never tried but it does seem like it would require quite an effort.

and then trying to SWALLOW the nasty bloody thing! she must have been crazy.

:(
My testicles would like me to relay their displeasure at hearing of this story.
:(

BTW. If your are attempting to immobilize an attacker, do not I repeat do not attempt to hit thier testicles. Not only can it be awkward to hit them, but raising a leg to hit them in such an area gives the attacker a good chance of grabbing your limb. Also, an attacker can recover from this quickly, relatively speaking, in about 5-10 seconds.

What you should do is hit them in the sides, around thier mid-section. That can shock and knock out the breath of an individual for a much longer time than 10 seconds.

:(
My testicles would like me to relay their displeasure at hearing of this story.
:(

would that not be closer to

:(:(

QUOTE for Posterity:

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person."




If that wasn't violent...then...damn, I'd hate to see her version of violent...

Bottle is a scientist, a practical woman, and would probably go for the nuts in a fight.

Meh. it seems someone has metaphorically lost his nuts in battle with Bottle and now is flailing about wildly.

You still haven't paid me fully for that.

So, you're telling me I need to fire my accountant? :)

So, you're telling me I need to fire my accountant? :)

Or I could... um... take care of it.

You qualify for my "Two for One Kwazy Wednesdays"(the "k" should be backwards but I don't know how to do that with computer technology).

BTW. If your are attempting to immobilize an attacker, do not I repeat do not attempt to hit thier testicles. Not only can it be awkward to hit them, but raising a leg to hit them in such an area gives the attacker a good chance of grabbing your limb. Also, an attacker can recover from this quickly, relatively speaking, in about 5-10 seconds.



As a man, I approve of this lie.

She ripped off his testicle cause he wouldn't get back with her?

Damn, thats messed up.

There's probably a lesson in this: Don't date crazy chicks.

Emotional states can make any woman crazy.

Fortunately I've never had one try to rip off a testicle; the worst I've gotten was a bite that (miraculously) did not break skin, but left a baseball sized bruise on my belly that lasted 3 weeks. Of course I did somewhat provoke it by responding to the offer in a pretty bad way.

We had been wrestling around for a bit (was sitting on the couch, she came over and sat on my lap so she could slap me, one thing led to another... it was good natured) and must have gotten a little worked up. I must admit, I was as well, but knew better than get back into the emotional tar-pit that is a relationship. Once you're out, for the love of everything that is good, stay out. Anyway... she was straddling me and made the suggestion. I thought about it for a few seconds, then said, with a fairly bored tone of voice, "nah". So she bit me and said "now none of your other girls will sleep with you either" (I never cheat, even under extraordinary circumstances; these were girls I started hooking up with after).

She figured a big bite mark on my belly would make everyone jealous and stay away for a while... how little she understood. One girl gave me lots of sympathy, the other was just turned on.

I really think I wandered off there... but the point is that when a woman (or a man for that matter) gets emotionally involved, and otherwise non-violent rational person can do very violent things. Hell hath no fury like it after all.

BTW. If your are attempting to immobilize an attacker, do not I repeat do not attempt to hit thier testicles. Not only can it be awkward to hit them, but raising a leg to hit them in such an area gives the attacker a good chance of grabbing your limb. Also, an attacker can recover from this quickly, relatively speaking, in about 5-10 seconds.

What you should do is hit them in the sides, around thier mid-section. That can shock and knock out the breath of an individual for a much longer time than 10 seconds.
But the crotch is a vital area and if they get hit in the crotch they're stunned for one round! :(

Remote Observer, your attempts at humour fail miserably, and offend me. I thusly urge you to not attempt such humour again.

But the crotch is a vital area and if they get hit in the crotch they're stunned for one round! :(


Exactly, 5-10 seconds.

Isn't a round 7?

I loved that flick.

Exactly, 5-10 seconds.

Isn't a round 7?

I loved that flick.

Oh, wait, yes it is. Nevermind. (I only started looking up the rules to that game after I saw that film, because it looked like a lot of fun to play.)

Oh, and guys? I'd highly suggest you form a strong emotional bond with whomever you date, male or female, before even considering sex. That way you can find out beforehand if s/he's crazy and/or manipulating you and can escape with your testicles and all other body parts intact.

BTW. If your are attempting to immobilize an attacker, do not I repeat do not attempt to hit thier testicles. Not only can it be awkward to hit them, but raising a leg to hit them in such an area gives the attacker a good chance of grabbing your limb. Also, an attacker can recover from this quickly, relatively speaking, in about 5-10 seconds.

What you should do is hit them in the sides, around thier mid-section. That can shock and knock out the breath of an individual for a much longer time than 10 seconds.

Still gives the attacker as much a chance at grabbing your limb as hitting their nuts. I was taught that if the guy is close enough..knee them in the nuts then slam your foot on theirs. They can thwart the attempt at their jewels but not enough reaction time to do the same for the foot.

Either way..it buys you enough time to run.

Still gives the attacker as much a chance at grabbing your limb as hitting their nuts. I was taught that if the guy is close enough..knee them in the nuts then slam your foot on theirs. They can thwart the attempt at their jewels but not enough reaction time to do the same for the foot.

Either way..it buys you enough time to run.

Seriously. Get someone to hit you hard in the sides, around the lower rib cage. It hurts like hell, and you can't move for a while.

If it doesn't, you're not doing it right.

Seriously. Get someone to hit you hard in the sides, around the lower rib cage. It hurts like hell, and you can't move for a while.

If it doesn't, you're not doing it right.

And where in my post did I say that it didn't??

And where in my post did I say that it didn't??

You didn't. I was actually trying to quote someone else, and failed miserably. I'm tired...

*gets some popcorn and waits for Bottle to arrive* This should be fun.

My scrotum is made of rip-stop fabric. :cool:

But I suspect the attempt would still leave me wanting a quiet place to assume the fetal position and weep for 20 minutes. :(

That sounds like the most horrific thing, I don't think I could innvision anythign else more painful right now.

So the moral of the story is:
Don't let an angry woman near your scrotum.

Thank god I keep the rifle and bayonet in my room.

So the moral of the story is:
Don't let an angry woman near your scrotum.

or:

Never turn down sex. :)

doesn't bottle practice some sort of martial art? i'm sure she's talked about self-defense before anyway.

duct tape will fix it!

You're obviously a humorless person. Did you have it removed in an operation?

Bottle ripped it out with her scientific method.

Exactly, 5-10 seconds.

Isn't a round 7?

I loved that flick.

Depends on the game. Hell, depends on the edition of the game.

Pull off a testicle.

Any man should be reduced to whimpering and cowering (if not outright unconsciousness from the pain) by simply grabbing and removing one or both testicles.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm



Admittedly, the example here is not self-defense, but the reaction of an outraged woman, but the basic fact stands that it's extremely effective.

Men, take note - because it looks like they come off rather easily.

OH MY GOD, THAT'S ONE OF THE SCARIEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD

My scrotum is made of rip-stop fabric. :cool:

But I suspect the attempt would still leave me wanting a quiet place to assume the fetal position and weep for 20 minutes. :(

*sends note to LG's significant other*

OH MY GOD, THAT'S ONE OF THE SCARIEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD

I'm female and that made me cringe. :(

I'm female and that made me cringe. :(

I'm still sitting with my legs shut. :gundge:

I've been trying to imagine how his testicles came off. All I can think about is how my brother pulls the grapes off when he eats them.

I've been trying to imagine how his testicles came off. All I can think about is how my brother pulls the grapes off when he eats them.

*pukes*
My mom has had to pull testes off mice to study cancer growing on them, bursting the scrotum open and stuff. I had to shut my eyes and seeing them after almost made me pass out.

I've been trying to imagine how his testicles came off. All I can think about is how my brother pulls the grapes off when he eats them.

whereas i was trying my damndest to not picture how it might happen.. now i've got pictures of tearing grapes in my head and the little bit of 'entrails' they leave behind on the stalk.... and then i think of my balls.. damn you!! *shakes fist*

whereas i was trying my damndest to not picture how it might happen.. now i've got pictures of tearing grapes in my head and the little bit of 'entrails' they leave behind on the stalk.... and then i think of my balls.. damn you!! *shakes fist*

My brother was eating grapes while I was reading this thread, so I didn't really have a choice of whether I wanted imagine it or not. Besides...I'm sure this post is worse than mine:

*pukes*
My mom has had to pull testes off mice to study cancer growing on them, bursting the scrotum open and stuff. I had to shut my eyes and seeing them after almost made me pass out.

You're obviously a humorless person. Did you have it removed in an operation?

It's not that he's humorless. It's just that we don't like you and we don't like you referring to one of our resident posters in a familiar manner.

My brother was eating grapes while I was reading this thread, so I didn't really have a choice of whether I wanted imagine it or not. Besides...I'm sure this post is worse than mine:

yes indeed, feel a bit nauseous now. damn you all! :mad::p

aaaaahhh :(

this thread is making me shudder.

And I don't have any testicles.

But my ovaries are cringing anyway.

Wouldn't it be better called the "Bottle Manuver," since, if done properly, there is no way the dude on the receiving end is going to be moving? On top of that, I think his point was that its a rather efficient way of taking a male out of comission... for a while... if a rather tasteless observation at that.

aaaaahhh :(

this thread is making me shudder.

And I don't have any testicles.

But my ovaries are cringing anyway.

Ovaries can cringe?

I got it!....

METAL UNDERPANTS!!!

I got it!....

METAL UNDERPANTS!!!

Waaaaaay ahead of you.

There is nothing even slightly funny or amusing about this terrifying incident.

Knock it off. Do NOT flamebait people by attaching their names to completely unrelated articles and characterizing them as being likely to commit a violent crime.