NationStates Jolt Archive

The US military is designing super strong teddy-bear like robots to carry wounded troops off the battlefield.
The US military is developing a robot with a teddy bear-style head to help carry injured soldiers away from the battlefield. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6729745.stm

If this works out I expect to see bionic Barbie doll automated sniper units, and Matchbox car mobile anti-vehicle mines to follow.

Can I have one?

"Johnson's been hit, sir, we need someone to get him out of there."

"Hold tight, boys, we've got Snuggles on the way for medevac."

"...what the hell, sir?"

...Why not just train a large primate, like a mountain gorilla?

...Why not just train a large primate, like a mountain gorilla?
Them gorillas will eat them soldiers.

That'll scare those dirty muslims.

It'll work... for a while. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d7/The_Experiment.jpg)

Sure is going to scare the shit out some delirious wounded soldier. Maybe they should start up those old lsd experiments again as well.

It'll work... for a while. (http://lt.tez.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/tediz.jpg.w300h303.jpg)

Is this ironic?

That thing is terrifying. If I was wounded, and saw that thing coming towards me, I would open fire. It looks like it's going to run up to someone suck their soul out through their eyeballs.

They should make them look like giant smiling babies - that would be really scary.

They should make them look like giant smiling babies - that would be really scary.

Teddy Bear is scary enough... but this whole thing is just amusing, I can't stop laughing.

1. Teddy bear face designed to be reassuring

:p

They should have clownbots instead. Ninja clownbots. They could cover injured soldiers in a special type of pie that disinfects their wounds, and acts as a bandage.

Mom's Friendly Robot Company must be behind all this...

Mom's Friendly Robot Company must be behind all this...

Actually This is the beggining of Mom's Friendly Robot Company...

I guess Asimo will be out of a job.

Mom's Friendly Robot Company must be behind all this...

It took this long for that joke? Come on, people!

That said, I don't think seeing a robot with a teddy bear face is going to actually be soothing. It'd freak me out.

...

But then in any real situation I'd probably know about these BEARs anyway, so I wouldn't be freaked out.

That'll scare those dirty muslims.

If they're not fazed by your Abrams & black hawks then what makes you think that Iraqi militias would be deterred by a robotic teddy? Especially a robot that is not equipped with any weapon system for defense. On the contrary, that teddy robot and the wounded soldier it would be carrying will be an easier target, considering the robot's speed.

If they're not fazed by your Abrams & black hawks then what makes you think that Iraqi militias would be deterred by a robotic teddy? Especially a robot that is not equipped with any weapon system for defense. On the contrary, that teddy robot and the wounded soldier it would be carrying will be an easier target, considering the robot's speed.

You seriously think the Freedom Hating Terrorists aren't afraid of the Abrams Tank?

If you had a AK47 and one of those things came crawling down the street, wouldn't you try to run and hide?

This is sure to make it on Stephen Colberts Threat Down.

I think they are adorable.

I thought they were in the process of making more practical self driven vehicles that can handle rough terrain for carrying wounded soldiers as well as devlivering suppleis and such.

If you had a AK47 and one of those things came crawling down the street, wouldn't you try to run and hide?

If it was my intention to hit an armored tank, I wouldn't use an assault rifle. I'd map it's patrol routes, and gather explosives.

Once the place has been selected, bury said explosives underground and leave a 5mm thick copper plate on top of it. Preferably welded to an iron plate, copper side facing upwards. Cheap shaped charge anti-tank bullet ready.

Wait for tank to go over target zone, trigger explosives. Preferably by proxy.

That being said, what if they used these sort of robots? :p

http://www.ks.uiuc.edu/~tskirvin/pics/events/QuadDay2006/tn/img_4266.med.jpg

They should have clownbots instead. Ninja clownbots. They could cover injured soldiers in a special type of pie that disinfects their wounds, and acts as a bandage.

*hides blueprints* What the hell?!? :confused:

Instead of medic robots, build combat robots, and don't bother sending humans to another country.

If the robots are blown up, or captured when their fuel cells run down, it's not a problem, because they can't be tortured, can't be "executed on the Internet" or held for ransom.

Something like this would work:

http://johnlarroquetteproject.com/wordpress/wp-content/ed209.jpg

"Johnson's been hit, sir, we need someone to get him out of there."

"Hold tight, boys, we've got Snuggles on the way for medevac."

"...what the hell, sir?"

"sorry, that's not Snuggles, but Teddy Ruxpin..."

*picks up soldier*
"Hi there, will you be my friend?"

"SIR, SHOOT ME NOW... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, SHOOT ME NOW!!!"

*as soldier is carried of the feild*
"Let's sing a song..."





so why not something like the Repicators... little moving armored "lego" blocks that can provide an armored vehicle, as well as feild med supplies like casts/splints/turniquits/stretchers...

"sorry, that's not Snuggles, but Teddy Ruxpin..."

*picks up soldier*
"Hi there, will you be my friend?"

"SIR, SHOOT ME NOW... FOR MERCY'S SAKE, SHOOT ME NOW!!!"

*as soldier is carried of the feild*
"Let's sing a song..."





so why not something like the Repicators... little moving armored "lego" blocks that can provide an armored vehicle, as well as feild med supplies like casts/splints/turniquits/stretchers...
It's spelled tourniquet, and I don't know what use they would be to a wounded soldier, but whatever.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourniquet_(band)

*hides blueprints* What the hell?!? :confused:

We all know you didn't really have twins. They're prototype Babybots.

It's spelled tourniquet, and I don't know what use they would be to a wounded soldier, but whatever.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourniquet_(band)

Stopping the blood from spewing everywhere.

Stopping the blood from spewing everywhere.

Yeah. I was just refering to the Christian metal band in the wiki link that I posted. Fuck it. Lame attempt at humor.

Instead of medic robots, build combat robots, and don't bother sending humans to another country.

If the robots are blown up, or captured when their fuel cells run down, it's not a problem, because they can't be tortured, can't be "executed on the Internet" or held for ransom.


Given that they are radio controlled....

1: Wide area, multi-array, full band jamming.

2: ???

3: Profit.

Heh, Vecna Technologies,... somebody will lose an arm, eye or head.

The US military is designing super strong teddy-bear like robots to carry wounded troops off the battlefield.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6729745.stm

If this works out I expect to see bionic Barbie doll automated sniper units, and Matchbox car mobile anti-vehicle mines to follow.

Lolz.

Is this to make the wounded soldier go back to his childhood? To get comfort or something?

Yeah. I was just refering to the Christian metal band in the wiki link that I posted. Fuck it. Lame attempt at humor.

Christian metal? Then I assume the point is to finish off the wounded.

Yeah. I was just refering to the Christian metal band in the wiki link that I posted. Fuck it. Lame attempt at humor.

I Lol'd! :D

We all know you didn't really have twins. They're prototype Babybots.

Dammit! :mad: Industrial Espionage! :mad:

Can I have one?
Wait 50 years and pay 50 billion dollars.

Does this mean we're phasing out corpsmen too?...:rolleyes:

Looks kind of like Clank on stilts...

Them gorillas will eat them soldiers.

they're endagered... too much trouble with PETA

So, lessee...

A person used to be ordered to join bloody battles and kill in them KNOWING they might get shot as well needs to be reassured and will be by a teddy bear's face, should that happen.

Right.

It does make sense for what some "soldiers" spew: Anyone that would feel demoralized by people pointing out that a war was a mistake would also feel the need for "their teddy" when going to war.

On a different note... Isn't this kind of thing something the Japanese, rather than the Americans, would do? Full Metal Panic anyone? :p

http://www.antoniogenna.net/doppiaggio/anim/fullmetalpanicfumoffu.jpg

If they really wanted to comfort wounded soldiers, it would have big boobies. Like RealDolls, but with military ranks.

If they really wanted to comfort wounded soldiers, it would have big boobies. Like RealDolls, but with military ranks.

Maybe a Hello Nurse cyborg? :p