NationStates Jolt Archive


Bad Pickup lines?

SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:05
Always a fun topic of conversation. What are some of the worst pickup lines you have heard, used, or had used on you.

I had a woman approach me last saturday and say "Lets play war, you can lay back and I'll blow the hell out of you."

I laughed and politey refused.
Hynation
06-06-2007, 19:07
The worst I've heard someone use..."Hey you!, let's sex"
Dundee-Fienn
06-06-2007, 19:09
Him - "Pick a number between 1 and 10"

Her - "7"

Him - "You lose. Take off your top"
Forsakia
06-06-2007, 19:09
"Would you like a wormdo"

"what's that then?";)
IL Ruffino
06-06-2007, 19:11
Next time you see someone you're attracted to, let them read your lips as you say "I want a fig nugget right now."
Jean-Patrick
06-06-2007, 19:12
Man "What's you're last name"
woman replies
Man "Wanna change it?"

The spoof on Robot Chicken though was classic, "Are you an angel? Cause I've got an erection!"
SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:12
Only used one pickup line in my life, and it actually worked:

Walked up to a cute, petite, blonde cop and asked her if she would cuff me for a second. She looked at me and asked why. I told her that I wanted to be able to go into the office the next morning and be able to tell my coworkers that a beautiful blonde had me handcuffed the night before without fibbing.

Clever...
Krahe
06-06-2007, 19:12
Only used one pickup line in my life, and it actually worked:

Walked up to a cute, petite, blonde cop and asked her if she would cuff me for a second. She looked at me and asked why. I told her that I wanted to be able to go into the office the next morning and be able to tell my coworkers that a beautiful blonde had me handcuffed the night before without fibbing.
Jean-Patrick
06-06-2007, 19:12
Only used one pickup line in my life, and it actually worked:

Walked up to a cute, petite, blonde cop and asked her if she would cuff me for a second. She looked at me and asked why. I told her that I wanted to be able to go into the office the next morning and be able to tell my coworkers that a beautiful blonde had me handcuffed the night before without fibbing.

hahaha! nice
Smunkeeville
06-06-2007, 19:13
"are you a whore?"
"no!"
"good because I am broke"

heard it, caught it, waited for the woman to get it.......nope, she just stood there staring at him like an idiot. I had to explain it to her after he got bored with her blank expression and left. :rolleyes:
Sumamba Buwhan
06-06-2007, 19:15
old:

if I told you that you had a hot body would you hold it against me?

Excuse me, I'm lost. Can I get your address?

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?



I'd bang you so hard, the first person to pull me out would be named King of England.
Dundee-Fienn
06-06-2007, 19:16
old:

if I told you that you had a hot body would you hold it against me?

Excuse me, I'm lost. Can I get your address?

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?



I'd bang you so hard, the first person to pull me out would be named King of England.

Wow. Best ever
SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:17
I'd bang you so hard, the first person to pull me out would be named King of England.

So bad its good...

I got one I heard someone use once:

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
The Abe Froman
06-06-2007, 19:17
"Would you like a wormdo"

"what's that then?";)

I think you messed that one up.;)

"You're supposed to say 'what's a wormdo?'"
Hydesland
06-06-2007, 19:19
"Is it windy in here? Or was it you who just knocked me off my feet?"
Johnny B Goode
06-06-2007, 19:20
Always a fun topic of conversation. What are some of the worst pickup lines you have heard, used, or had used on you.

I had a woman approach me last saturday and say "Lets play war, you can lay back and I'll blow the hell out of you."

I laughed and politey refused.

I didn't know women did pick-up lines.

Funniest one is, (never actually heard it) "The name's Bond. James Bond."
SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:21
I didn't know women did pick-up lines.

Funniest one is, (never actually heard it) "The name's Bond. James Bond."

Odd.. I get women trying to pick me up all the time.. and I'm ugly!!
Sumamba Buwhan
06-06-2007, 19:26
Odd.. I get women trying to pick me up all the time.. and I'm ugly!!

are you perhaps a well endowed man that wears tight clothing?
Khadgar
06-06-2007, 19:27
Want women to hit on you? One word: kilt.

Women generally don't look twice at me, but when I'm wearing my kilt - :fluffle:

That's cause a guy in a kilt is fucking hot.
Hydesland
06-06-2007, 19:27
Odd.. I get women trying to pick me up all the time.. and I'm ugly!!

Well you DO live in Pennsylvania.

Just saying...
SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:27
are you perhaps a well endowed man that wears tight clothing?

Negative, if size matters I'm in trouble. I'm just myself... maybe I just live an an area full of extremly desperate induviduals.
Krahe
06-06-2007, 19:28
Want women to hit on you? One word: kilt.

Women generally don't look twice at me, but when I'm wearing my kilt - :fluffle:
HC Eredivisie
06-06-2007, 19:28
The NSG classic (Refused Party Program said it I think):

'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'
HC Eredivisie
06-06-2007, 19:29
Want women to hit on you? One word: kilt.

Women generally don't look twice at me, but when I'm wearing my kilt - :fluffle:
There's some other reason they're looking at you.;)
Smunkeeville
06-06-2007, 19:30
I didn't know women did pick-up lines.

women have tried to pick me up before......I can't remember any specific lines though.

oh, well that one with the dollar.
Miroxio
06-06-2007, 19:32
Best:

Lick your finger, and wipe it on her shirt, and then say "Hey, let's get you out of those wet clothes!"

Worst:

"Hey, I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?"
Sumamba Buwhan
06-06-2007, 19:32
Negative, if size matters I'm in trouble. I'm just myself... maybe I just live an an area full of extremly desperate induviduals.

are you in a band?
SaintB
06-06-2007, 19:33
are you in a band?

Not anymore. Ska band for awhile in college... I'm a DJ? I usually get told by gushing women what I sweetheart I am, that could have something to do with it too.
Potarius
06-06-2007, 19:33
are you in a band?

Maybe he is, but you have to keep in mind that he's in Pennsylvania. It'd likely be the same in Jersey, too.
Jello Biafra
06-06-2007, 19:36
"If you were a booger I'd pick you."

I had a woman approach me last saturday and say "Lets play war, you can lay back and I'll blow the hell out of you."Ooh that's a good one. <Steals.>
Wanderjar
06-06-2007, 19:40
I was at a party last night and a girl came up to me and said, "Hey! Didn't I hook up with you before?" I said no, not to my knowlege. Her reply was, "Wanna change that?"
Damor
06-06-2007, 19:44
The NSG classic (Refused Party Program said it I think):

'Does this smell like chloroform to you?'For best results use in combination with an ether soaked rag ;)
Infinitus
06-06-2007, 19:46
The sad thing is this actually worked for me once.

"I put the STD in 'stud' and all I need is U."
Sumamba Buwhan
06-06-2007, 19:48
Not anymore. Ska band for awhile in college... I'm a DJ? I usually get told by gushing women what I sweetheart I am, that could have something to do with it too.

Well I only go to third base on the first part of the first date so don't get any ideas mister.

Maybe he is, but you have to keep in mind that he's in Pennsylvania. It'd likely be the same in Jersey, too.

Damn frigid west coast prudes that I had to deal with!!!! When I was single I DID have a MUCH easier time getting women out east then I ever did in the western states.
Krahe
06-06-2007, 19:49
Worst pick up line that I've actually experienced:

"Can I take a picture of your legs?"

Apparently, I missed the fact that that really meant "Take me upstairs and have your way with me." :mad:
Wanderjar
06-06-2007, 19:49
The sad thing is this actually worked for me once.

"I put the STD in 'stud' and all I need is U."

Well done mein freund. How drunk were you?
Cookesland
06-06-2007, 19:52
"wow, those pantswould look great on my floor"

Well you DO live in Pennsylvania.

Just saying...

and whats that supposed to mean?
SaintB
06-06-2007, 20:09
Jay: So you like all kinds of animals right?

Chastity: Yeah

Jay: Even snakes?

Chastity: Even snakes

Jay: Trouser snakes?


Something like that anyway
SaintB
06-06-2007, 20:10
[QUOTE=Cookesland;12740597and whats that supposed to mean?[/QUOTE]

I'm trying to figure that one out too.
Potarius
06-06-2007, 20:11
I'm trying to figure that one out too.

It means the women in that area are generally more aggressive than in other places.

Same with Jersey, though that particular state is the one with the reputation for it.
SaintB
06-06-2007, 20:12
It means the women in that area are generally more aggressive than in other places.

Same with Jersey, though that particular state is the one with the reputation for it.

Yeah I can see that, there are quite a few aggressive women about. Me, I've calmed down and just want to find a good mate...
Cookesland
06-06-2007, 20:14
It means the women in that area are generally more aggressive than in other places.

Same with Jersey, though that particular state is the one with the reputation for it.

oh you mean Joisey Goils
Remote Observer
06-06-2007, 20:14
Hey baby, is that your purse, or is one boob hanging low?
SaintB
06-06-2007, 20:55
Ooh that's a good one. <Steals.>

You can't steal the pickup line she gave me! But I'll gadly give it you if we can play war...

J/p
Londim
06-06-2007, 21:08
Here's one I've heard a friend use.

"Nice ass. I wonder what it feels like on the inside."

or

"How about you sit on my lap and have a chat?"

About what?

"Whatever comes up." ;)
1010102
06-06-2007, 21:31
Always a fun topic of conversation. What are some of the worst pickup lines you have heard, used, or had used on you.

I had a woman approach me last saturday and say "Lets play war, you can lay back and I'll blow the hell out of you."

I laughed and politey refused.

LOL! That is the best line I've ever heard.
Zargonae
06-06-2007, 21:44
Guy goes behind and looks at the tag on her shirt.

Guy: You must be an angel, because this says "made in heaven."

Yeah. I had that one used on me. To say the least, it was sufficiently awkward.
New Stalinberg
06-06-2007, 21:54
"I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"You look just like my next girlfriend!"

"I love every bone in your body, especially mine."
Hydesland
06-06-2007, 21:55
"I love every bone in your body, especially mine."

Ugh, that makes me shiver with awkwardness.
Damaske
06-06-2007, 22:16
Always a fun topic of conversation. What are some of the worst pickup lines you have heard, used, or had used on you.

I had a woman approach me last saturday and say "Lets play war, you can lay back and I'll blow the hell out of you."

I laughed and politey refused.

You call that a bad pick-up line?? I think it's a pretty good one. (then again...I'm biased)



"Hey, I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?"

Now that's bad.
Neo Bretonnia
06-06-2007, 22:18
"Hey that dress looks great on you! it would look even better on the floor by my bed."

or

"Hey that dress looks great on you. KNow what woudl look even better on you?"

"What?"

"Me."

or

"Hey, do you have some Hispanic in you?"

"No.."

"Want some?"

(swap out Hispanic for whatever race you are)
Johnny B Goode
06-06-2007, 23:18
women have tried to pick me up before......I can't remember any specific lines though.

oh, well that one with the dollar.

Hmph. A woman trying to pick up a woman.

Odd.. I get women trying to pick me up all the time.. and I'm ugly!!

I'm ugly. You're not.
SaintB
06-06-2007, 23:26
You call that a bad pick-up line?? I think it's a pretty good one. (then again...I'm biased)

Why would you be biased exactly?

LOL! That is the best line I've ever heard.
I actually thought it was good, but I had a date, a very nice girl in fact. I wasn't going to leave her for something superficial. If I had been by myself then the story may have gone differently; depending on how sober she was.

I'm ugly. You're not.
I think I'm pretty ugly.
Desperate Measures
06-06-2007, 23:32
"Want to suck on my face?"
Widfarend
06-06-2007, 23:32
Basically anything that I say...
Garpas
06-06-2007, 23:39
man - excuse me... do you have 20 pence? (english currency)

lass - yes.....

man - well you'll have to call your mother because you've pulled!


it has worked in the past...

the age old favourite though.... after a lot of beer after playing rugby, in a club where the gals are clamming for it....

man - fancy a f**k?

man does that one work!! ;)
Ifreann
06-06-2007, 23:44
The NSG classic (Refused Party Program said it I think):

'Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?'

Fixed.
SaintB
06-06-2007, 23:46
man - excuse me... do you have 20 pence? (english currency)

lass - yes.....

man - well you'll have to call your mother because you've pulled!



In American please? I imagine it owuld be funny if I could understand it...
Taredas
07-06-2007, 00:06
In American please? I imagine it owuld be funny if I could understand it...

IIRC, "pulled" is British slang for "get pregnant".
Ultraviolent Radiation
07-06-2007, 00:15
IIRC, "pulled" is British slang for "get pregnant".

:confused: Why would you think that?
Evil Wolf
07-06-2007, 00:26
Man: "Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?"

Woman: "A million? Ya, sure."

Man: "Ok, how's about for one buck?"

Woman: "No way in Hell!"

Man: "Oh come on, you already agreed to it, now we're just haggling over the price."
Ultraviolent Radiation
07-06-2007, 00:32
Man: "Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?"

Woman: "A million? Ya, sure."

Man: "Ok, how's about for one buck?"

Woman: "What kind of woman do you think I am?"

Man: "We've already established that, now we're just haggling over the price."

^ that's how it's supposed to go
KennedyJenkins
07-06-2007, 00:47
Not particularly original, but its the only one I use, and it works!

Man: I can't quite see what it says [Indicates woman's chest/tshirt and leans in -very- close] Hmmm, nope, stupid shirt's in the way.
Kyronea
07-06-2007, 01:33
I've never used a pick-up line nor have I ever had one used on me. They are insulting and degrading, and any intelligent woman can--and should--turn down any man or woman who uses one on her, and the same for any man who receives a pick-up line from anyone.
Potarius
07-06-2007, 01:34
I've never used a pick-up line nor have I ever had one used on me. They are insulting and degrading, and any intelligent woman can--and should--turn down any man or woman who uses one on her, and the same for any man who receives a pick-up line from anyone.

You win the thread for both speaking the truth and posting this in my stead.
Johnny B Goode
07-06-2007, 01:37
Why would you be biased exactly?


I actually thought it was good, but I had a date, a very nice girl in fact. I wasn't going to leave her for something superficial. If I had been by myself then the story may have gone differently; depending on how sober she was.


I think I'm pretty ugly.

Yeah, but I can prove it. (Searches for evidence)

Right here. (http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/6580/0000009sh9.jpg)

Yeah, I actually have the beginnings of a stache. (It's grown since that photo. A lot.)
Kyronea
07-06-2007, 01:56
You win the thread for both speaking the truth and posting this in my stead.

Neat. I rarely win threads. I usually just end up in third place.
Bumboat
07-06-2007, 02:09
Hmph. A woman trying to pick up a woman.


What's wrong with a woman trying to pick up a woman? :p
Potarius
07-06-2007, 02:13
What's wrong with a woman trying to pick up a woman? :p

She's likely to take out her back, that's why.
Kyronea
07-06-2007, 02:14
What's wrong with a woman trying to pick up a woman? :p
Absolutely nothing, unless one is a disgusting homophobe.
She's likely to take out her back, that's why.

...

What?
Potarius
07-06-2007, 02:15
...

What?

A woman picking up another woman... Ruining her back...

...Oh, never mind.
Kyronea
07-06-2007, 02:21
A woman picking up another woman... Ruining her back...

...Oh, never mind.

Oh, you mean "throw" her back out.

...

You'll forgive me, but I'm extremely exhausted and have had a stomach flu for the past couple of days, so my mental faculties are not exactly up to full speed.
Taredas
07-06-2007, 02:24
:confused: Why would you think that?

There's a reason I said "If I recall correctly"...and clearly, I did not recall correctly. :)
Jello Biafra
07-06-2007, 02:28
You can't steal the pickup line she gave me! But I'll gadly give it you if we can play war...

J/pOkay. Which of us shall lie back?
Damaske
07-06-2007, 02:34
Why would you be biased exactly?


Because it was uttered by a female. Anything that we come up with is good..

I've never used a pick-up line nor have I ever had one used on me. They are insulting and degrading, and any intelligent woman can--and should--turn down any man or woman who uses one on her, and the same for any man who receives a pick-up line from anyone.

They are attention grabbers. But an intelligent person wouldn't use them and expect to actually get laid.
Kyronea
07-06-2007, 02:39
They are attention grabbers. But an intelligent person wouldn't use them and expect to actually get laid.

Said intelligent person should also be able to walk up to a person and engage them in conversation in a far less insulting way.
Katganistan
07-06-2007, 03:23
There are GOOD pickup lines?
Smunkeeville
07-06-2007, 03:27
There are GOOD pickup lines?

yeah....

"Hi, I'm <your name>....."

etc.
New Ausha
07-06-2007, 03:31
Place a boombox down, with a tape of black men humming in rythm and sing:

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I seen you 'round for a long long time
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I seen you walkin' down in Chinatown
I called you but you could not look around

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I bring my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

The color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as we can live in harmony

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I'd kinda like to be the President
so I can show you how your money's spent

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Sometimes I don't speak too bright
but yet I know what I'm talking about

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I know you're working for the CIA
they wouldn't have you in the Mafia

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?


Then turn it off. If she has not left your line of sight, say/shout wanna grab a coffee?
Katganistan
07-06-2007, 03:31
yeah....

"Hi, I'm <your name>....."

etc.

"Hi, I'm State Your Name...." ;)
New Genoa
07-06-2007, 03:32
HELLO THERE, LET'S FUCK.

seems abrupt enough.
Pantylvania
07-06-2007, 03:35
a/s/l
Troglobites
07-06-2007, 04:26
My place? My mothers outside now waiting to pick me up.:cool:
Brutland and Norden
07-06-2007, 04:27
I know of someone who used this pick-up line:

"Hey, what the brand of your umbrella?"
Widfarend
07-06-2007, 04:30
"Drop all your money, place your hands in the air, and walk twenty paces forward."

*takes money and runs*

Though this might get them to chase after you.
King Arthur the Great
07-06-2007, 04:47
This one must be taken in context, since it was good:

"You can crash on my bed."

This, from the girl whose birthday party I was attending when I was informed, rather abruptly, that if I was too drunk to leave, I would be forced to spend the night. Apparently, one of the guests was a cop, and he was going to breathalize anybody that wanted to drive. The girl was hot, though.

Maybe I should have chugged that bottle of Captain Morgan's while I was there. Ah well, here's to regrets and disappointments.

Worst: earlier party for one of that girl's friends. Oh, the irony.

Guy wearing a shirt that proclaims him "the Captain!"

"Hey, wanna get a little Captain inside of you?"

And no, that was not me.
Potarius
07-06-2007, 04:50
"Drop all your money, place your hands in the air, and walk twenty paces forward."

*takes money and runs*

Though this might get them to chase after you.

Shouldn't you tell them to turn around? I mean, walking twenty paces forward would send them right through you...
Widfarend
07-06-2007, 04:51
Worst: earlier party for one of that girl's friends. Oh, the irony.

Guy wearing a shirt that proclaims him "the Captain!"

"Hey, wanna get a little Captain inside of you?"

And no, that was not me.

lawl
:p
King Arthur the Great
07-06-2007, 04:57
lawl
:p

It gets better:

The other girl (early party and recipient of bad line) calls this, asking him how many times he's been asked if he's "in ye!" [sic]. Anyways, he tries to fight back, but then this guy that he has hated for years grabs his shorts, and, well, somebody decided to marker in "little" on the shirt, claiming to be speaking the truth we all witnessed.
Shakal
07-06-2007, 05:46
Two examples here, one ive had used on me, the other... youll see.

Example 1:
Guy:"Wanna come to my place and taste my milk?"


The funny thing was that my dad was right there and beat the fuck out of him for asking his baby girl such a question. :D:D:p

Example 2 requires definition. It was a cold and not so quiet January 30th, some family freinds came over that my dad has known since high school. They have a son hes actually 6 months younger than i am so he is 16. One night our parents went out drinking to celebrate his moms birthday. He was at my house with me, my 18 year old brother and his little sister plus my brothers girlfriend.

After his little sister went to bed we were all joking around and my brother went to bed with his girlfriend locking my friend out of his room. We were drinking and he wanted to go to bed. This is what i did.

Friend:"I need a pillow."
Me:"Its ok, just come in my bed."
Friend:"Ok."
*Go to my bedroom
Me:"Want my clothes on or off?"
Friend:"It doesnt matter, as long as I get both by morning."
SaintB
07-06-2007, 16:22
Example 2 requires definition. It was a cold and not so quiet January 30th, some family freinds came over that my dad has known since high school. They have a son hes actually 6 months younger than i am so he is 16. One night our parents went out drinking to celebrate his moms birthday. He was at my house with me, my 18 year old brother and his little sister plus my brothers girlfriend.

After his little sister went to bed we were all joking around and my brother went to bed with his girlfriend locking my friend out of his room. We were drinking and he wanted to go to bed. This is what i did.

Friend:"I need a pillow."
Me:"Its ok, just come in my bed."
Friend:"Ok."
*Go to my bedroom
Me:"Want my clothes on or off?"
Friend:"It doesnt matter, as long as I get both by morning."

I guess that can work on most guys... I'd borrow a pillow and crash on the couch... usually I have to be told flat out.
SaintB
07-06-2007, 16:28
Yeah, but I can prove it. (Searches for evidence)

Right here. (http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/6580/0000009sh9.jpg)

Pshaw... run and hide!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v628/SaintB/me.bmp
Okay. Which of us shall lie back?

I'm generous... we can take turns... ;)

Because it was uttered by a female. Anything that we come up with is good..

They are attention grabbers. But an intelligent person wouldn't use them and expect to actually get laid.

Agreed on the second point I might disagree on the first depending on my opinion of the female in question.
SaintB
07-06-2007, 16:34
There are GOOD pickup lines?

Yeah

"Hi, my name is Grant. I just saw you over here by yourself and thought you could use some company. I know I could."
Hamilay
07-06-2007, 16:41
Personally, I think the greatest ever is and shall always remain "I wish I were a derivative so I could be tangent to your curves."

Another one I liked I think I heard here was

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, can I buy you a drink?"
Shakal
07-06-2007, 16:48
I guess that can work on most guys... I'd borrow a pillow and crash on the couch... usually I have to be told flat out.

Thats exactly why he came to my room with me. :D
SaintB
07-06-2007, 16:50
Thats exactly why he came to my room with me. :D

To get a pillow and crash on the couch or because he thought he was going to get play?
Shakal
07-06-2007, 16:53
To get a pillow and crash on the couch or because he thought he was going to get play?

To get a pillow.
SaintB
07-06-2007, 16:59
To get a pillow.

Just bare with us nice guys. We just try to be polite.
Stunna Shades
07-06-2007, 18:03
"Hi are you gonna walk to your car by yourself later?" :eek:
Peepelonia
07-06-2007, 18:52
Heh when I was a coy teenager I asked one girl 'Have you got a boyfriend?'
She said no, so i said said 'd'ya want one?'
She looked me up and down and said yeah.

So i guess that worked then.


When the woman I married met, I just drunkenly shoved me touge down her throat, heh and we have been together since.

So i guess that also worked.

Mostly I used to go swimming on a saterday, me an me mates would swim up to girls we liked the look of and just ask them if they wanted to meet upstairs afterwards.

That also worked, well from time to time!
SaintB
07-06-2007, 18:55
Hook ups are easy...

I'm done with them though for a multitude of reasons (not the least being fear of having unwanted children).

What IS hard it to try and pick someone up and hang on to them...
Peepelonia
07-06-2007, 18:56
Hook ups are easy...

I'm done with them though for a multitude of reasons (not the least being fear of having unwanted children).

What IS hard it to try and pick someone up and hang on to them...

What so because you won't use a dunkey(UK slang for condom) you have stopped the dataing game?
SaintB
07-06-2007, 19:51
What so because you won't use a dunkey(UK slang for condom) you have stopped the dataing game?

I'm not going to state right here whether or not I use condoms, but I will submit the fact that there is still a chance of pregancy regardless of what kind of how much control you use.
The biggest reason is it was unfullfilling. After so many years I got tired of it, I have had more and better sex while in an actual relationship and I was much happier as myself. It don't mean I don't occasionaly go out with the idea of getting some, I'm a young male, what do you think I spend a lot of time wanting to do? But I keep it within a certain group of trusted induviduals, I guess you could say freinds with benefits if you want. I'm mostly past it all and I want something more complete, someone to actually fall in love with. FYI thats my biggest reason but unwanted children is always a concern when you're 23 and broke.
Remium
07-06-2007, 20:06
"Hmm... You are sexy. Let us make hot, steamy love until dawn."

"Hey. Assume I've somehow started up a conversation with you. Let's have sex."

For short people:

"It's supposed to be up here, but for some reason it all got down there."
Y Ddraig-Goch
07-06-2007, 20:35
a dunkey(UK slang for condom)

Not round here it's not.
Entropic Creation
07-06-2007, 20:38
The biggest reason is it was unfulfilling. After so many years I got tired of it, I have had more and better sex while in an actual relationship and I was much happier as myself. It don't mean I don't occasionally go out with the idea of getting some, I'm a young male, what do you think I spend a lot of time wanting to do? But I keep it within a certain group of trusted induviduals, I guess you could say freinds with benefits if you want. I'm mostly past it all and I want something more complete, someone to actually fall in love with. FYI thats my biggest reason but unwanted children is always a concern when you're 23 and broke.

I have the worst timing in the world - I wait until I'm 27 to get involved with a good social group of very sexually active kinky people who are tons of fun. Before this I was painfully shy so rarely played much. Coincidentally, 27 was also when I suddenly realized that sex without an emotional connection is empty and not really worth the bother. Worst timing in the world: young and horny as hell with no opportunity, then suddenly have endless opportunity just for the asking and no longer interested.

The whole making love vs having sex thing really pisses me off now. A mere 2 months before getting involved in the kinky scene an ex-girlfriend forced me to recognize the difference (then walked away). 6 months later I finally give up on meaningless sex - the day, the very day, I get to a week long sex camp. Fortunately the pagan sacred sexuality people are actually very good with making even sex with strangers into an emotionally/spiritually fulfilling event.

Anyway - by far the best pickup line I have now is "want to help me try out this lube?". Even when out with vanilla people I just change that to 'massage oil' and it works pretty well. Very few people will turn down a foot rub - once you've given a woman a good foot massage, she is yours for the night.
Johnny B Goode
07-06-2007, 21:25
What's wrong with a woman trying to pick up a woman? :p

Didn't mean to offend. Just that I've never seen it happen.

Pshaw... run and hide!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v628/SaintB/me.bmp

Okay. I've been wrong before.
SaintB
07-06-2007, 21:47
Didn't mean to offend. Just that I've never seen it happen.



Okay. I've been wrong before.

Now why am I happy the winner when in truth I'm the looser?
Beekermanc
07-06-2007, 21:54
two classics...though id never use them for obvious reasons...id never get laid ;)

Do you like fruit?

Well get your gums round my plums

Do you like diamonds?

Well suck my cock its a gem

Do you like fairground attractions?

Well sit on my face so I can guess your weight

hahahaha!!:D
Pacitalia
07-06-2007, 21:57
There are GOOD pickup lines?

Best two lines I've ever gotten were both from customers at work.

#1:

*guys walks up to counter* Excuse me, miss, what time do you close?
Me: Six.
Him: Thanks! *starts to walk out door, pauses for a second, shuffles backwards* So... what are you doing at six?

It was really cute, the way he pulled it off. I'd have said yes, if I was firmly attached to another.

#2:

Guy whose transaction I'm running through: So, what's the worst pick-up line you've ever gotten?
Me: Haha, don't make me choose. There are a few.
Him: *laughs and nods, then grins sincerely and offers his hand* Hey, I'm Matt.

It was simple, a sincere, and hey, he offered his hand. :p Now that's the way you do it. Treat a girl with respect, smile like you aren't just trying to get into her pants, and relax.

As for the worst... oh, I've had the "Do you have a quarter? I told my mom I'd call her when I met the girl of my dreams."

EDIT: Oh, for god's sake. This is my boyfriend's account. I'm Amarenthe. :p
Beekermanc
07-06-2007, 22:05
Treat a girl with respect, smile like you aren't just trying to get into her pants, and relax.


I disagree...you are not going to meet churchgoers in a bar...ive had lots of sex with women...and I conclude that the best way to seduce a woman is to tell them exactly what you want...women are exactly the same as men...same desires...same insecurities...

compliments always works...always...also the ability to make women laugh

dont be scared guys...Ive walked into a bar and headed straight for the best looking woman in there and told her I think she's hot and could I buy her a drink...and ive ended up dating her...its all a confidence thing

and women like a badboy ;)
Lunatic Goofballs
07-06-2007, 22:23
To a waitress of bartender: "What time do you get off?" ...wait for response... "Can I watch?"

:D
Regenius
07-06-2007, 22:26
Best one I've ever heard, if only for the witty word-play.

Guy: Hey, that dress is very becoming on you.

Girl: Oh, thank you.

Guy: But then again, if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Kashmiriren
08-06-2007, 00:51
Maybe he is, but you have to keep in mind that he's in Pennsylvania. It'd likely be the same in Jersey, too.

hey. hey hey hey.

back off Jersey. we call people names when they come to our beaches. that separates us from them. in theory.
Widfarend
08-06-2007, 00:59
It gets better:

The other girl (early party and recipient of bad line) calls this, asking him how many times he's been asked if he's "in ye!" [sic]. Anyways, he tries to fight back, but then this guy that he has hated for years grabs his shorts, and, well, somebody decided to marker in "little" on the shirt, claiming to be speaking the truth we all witnessed.

hehehe
SaintB
08-06-2007, 14:06
This wasn't an actual pick-up line but it was good...

Last night my sister graduated high school. I had her camera and was taking a group photo of her and her freinds when her freind Megan says: "You should take our pictures with nothing but our hats and tassles on!"
Demented Hamsters
08-06-2007, 14:26
I can't believe none of you have said the classic,
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk past you again?"

Another good 'un is,
"Those clothes look great on you. They'd look even better in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor."

"Hi, my name is ________. Remember it: you'll be screaming it later."

"Hi my name is _________, but most woman call me 'Oh my God!'"
The Blaatschapen
08-06-2007, 14:45
I disagree...you are not going to meet churchgoers in a bar

Obviously, you never met liberal catholics :p

I know some people who go to church and go to a bar :)
Kyronea
08-06-2007, 16:09
- the day, the very day, I get to a week long sex camp. Fortunately the pagan sacred sexuality people are actually very good with making even sex with strangers into an emotionally/spiritually fulfilling event.

...

Sex camp? Care to telegram me with information about this phenomenon of which I have never heard?
New Stalinberg
08-06-2007, 17:07
For short people:

"It's supposed to be up here, but for some reason it all got down there."

You sir, have changed my life forever!!!!

Thank you!!!
Remote Observer
08-06-2007, 18:07
The most hilarious pickup lines I've heard is from gay men at the gym.

The most common one, once they find out I'm heterosexual, is "do you want to find out if you're gay?"

or better yet, "you could become gay!"

My usual answer is, "you know, I keep hearing gay advocates say that you're born gay, and you know you're gay. So how would I not know? And if I wasn't born gay, how would I become gay?"

That's when they get upset.
Jello Biafra
09-06-2007, 02:43
I'm generous... we can take turns... ;)How thoughtful. :)

The most hilarious pickup lines I've heard is from gay men at the gym.

The most common one, once they find out I'm heterosexual, is "do you want to find out if you're gay?"

or better yet, "you could become gay!"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
New Stalinberg
09-06-2007, 03:47
The worst pickup line I can imagine is -"I am going to rape you, then cut your body up while you are still alive and then eat the peices and shit them onto your parent's front lawn. NOW GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!!"

Worked only once for me, but it was a rough pub.

The only reason I laughed at that is because your name is Mr. Wiggles.

It's a funny name.
Boonytopia
09-06-2007, 11:42
The worst pickup line I can imagine is -"I am going to rape you, then cut your body up while you are still alive and then eat the peices and shit them onto your parent's front lawn. NOW GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!!"

Worked only once for me, but it was a rough pub.

Good for you.
SaintB
10-06-2007, 11:39
The worst pickup line I can imagine is -"I am going to rape you, then cut your body up while you are still alive and then eat the peices and shit them onto your parent's front lawn. NOW GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!!!"

Worked only once for me, but it was a rough pub.

Must have been a rough pub indeed....

From College
Some Woman, I think her name was Jenine? "You know what they say about men with big feet?"
Me: "I'm sorry to say that..."
Her: "I have extra high clearance on by bed."

This was from Isabelle Jane Diaz (Never forget that woman uh uh) from Brazil
"If I wanted to try being heterosexual would you be my boyfreind?"

One more its not a pick up line yet but I bet that someone is going to try to use this when they read it. My youngest brother was 10 or 11 and a little girl from the neighborhood was playing basketball with him against me. When the game was over (I let them beat me 18-20) she looked over to him and says, "Want to go to my house now? I want to show you my new bed!"
Nova Boozia
10-06-2007, 14:15
This makes me think of an old Russian joke involving a recuring character, Rzhevski the hussar. A fellow officer asks him how he is so successful with the Moscow girls.

"Oh, it's easy, Andrei. Just walk up to a women, preferably whilst drunk, and say "Hey, wanna fuck?"."

"But then they just slap you in the face!"

"Aye, most slap... but some fuck!"
Entropic Creation
11-06-2007, 10:35
This makes me think of an old Russian joke involving a recuring character, Rzhevski the hussar. A fellow officer asks him how he is so successful with the Moscow girls.

"Oh, it's easy, Andrei. Just walk up to a women, preferably whilst drunk, and say "Hey, wanna fuck?"."

"But then they just slap you in the face!"

"Aye, most slap... but some fuck!"

Actually thats not so much of a joke. When I went to visit a bunch of my friends to have a beer, I found out that one of the guys in their unit always managed to get a hot girl within minutes of getting to the bar. Always curious how a guy manages that, they told me to wait till he showed up, then just watch and learn.

A little while later he shows up, picks out the hottest girls in the bar, then goes up to them and says "Hi, my name is X and I'm a marine. Wanna fuck?" He only does that a couple times before he is walking out of there with an incredibly hot woman. Of course it helps that he is fairly good looking and in amazing shape, but the confidence and playing the numbers game wins every time.
Big Jim P
11-06-2007, 10:54
To a woman pushing a baby carriage "hello mother, want another?" I highly doubt that it worked though.
IL Ruffino
11-06-2007, 10:56
Fiiig neutennnnn..!
Egg and chips
11-06-2007, 13:20
"If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes"

Worked for a mate at the last SLOBS (Student life outside biosciences) social. It's also a facebook group :D
Hamilay
11-06-2007, 13:33
"If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes"

Worked for a mate at the last SLOBS (Student life outside biosciences) social. It's also a facebook group :D

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