NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.wackypackages.org/stickers/4th_2006/realproducts/chexmix.jpg

I personally hate it. The spices don't mix well in my opinion.

Whenever someone offers it to me, I usually put a disgusted look on my face that people normally reserve for Tubgirl.

Here is the wikipedia page on Chex Mix if you don't know what I'm talking about:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chex_Mix

I feel that there has not been a thread mocking Jack Chick for a while, so I thought I'd start one.

Here is a link. I don't think it's hateful enough to merit not linking directly.

http://members.aol.com/monsterwax/chick.html


I like the one where Satan runs a Christian rock band.

Nani?! Two threads in one? Both goofy?!

Nani?! Two threads in one? Both goofy?!

I'm not sure how that happened.

http://www.community-media.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/dali_clock.jpg
Let's do the Time Warp again!


I just took advantage of a good time warp, that's all.

Nani?! Two threads in one? Both goofy?!

WHOA! :eek:

Jolt is going to whole new depths to keep us not amused.

I just took advantage of a good time warp, that's all.

Oh. :(

But, um.... your post didn't make any sense then, did it?

Oh. :(

But, um.... your post didn't make any sense then, did it?

Wasn't supposed to. I was just going for an epic thread steal. I was hoping I'd get the actual title changed, but it looks like I tricked you all well enough anyways.

Who?

I suspect topics have been merged. Quick, everyone look out for deja vu!

I love Chick's views of Catholics.

Dead dude: I donated all of my money to the poor, was a loving husband and father, and attended Church every Sunday.
God: Yeah, but you weren't the right flavor of Christian. See you in Hell!

Dead dude: I was a mass-murderer, white supremacist, never worked a day in my life, and I religiously watched American Idol.
God: Uh... why should I let you into Heaven?
Dead dude: Because I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior just before I got run over by that hotdgog stand?
God: Touche.

I suspect topics have been merged. Quick, everyone look out for deja vu!

lol iseewhtudidther

I feel that there has not been a thread mocking Jack Chick for a while, so I thought I'd start one.

Here is a link. I don't think it's hateful enough to merit not linking directly.

http://members.aol.com/monsterwax/chick.html


I like the one where Satan runs a Christian rock band.

Ah, good old Jack Shit.

I love it when christians try to prove christianity using the bible. For example: I am God. The proof of this is that I say I am God. And since I am God, what I say is true.

I love it when christians try to prove christianity using the bible. For example: I am God. The proof of this is that I say I am God. And since I am God, what I say is true.

Have you ever watched the Penn and Teller show Bullshit!? There's a bit about creationism, and it starts with Penn explaining the science of the evolution argument, and then he asks Teller what the creationist argument is.


Then Teller hits him in the face with a bible.

My favorite Jack Chick Tract is the "Dark Dungeon" one, where apparently a harmless game of Dragon and Dungeon will lead to.....WITCHCRAFT! Yes, those little lead figurines, many sided dices and a cardboard board will lead you to eternal damnation into HELL!

Here's (http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/darkdung.php?page=1) an MST3K take on Dark Dungeon.

I feel that there has not been a thread mocking Jack Chick for a while, so I thought I'd start one.

Here is a link. I don't think it's hateful enough to merit not linking directly.

http://members.aol.com/monsterwax/chick.html


I like the one where Satan runs a Christian rock band.

Jack Chick is one crazy, hateful person.

My favorite Jack Chick Tract is the "Dark Dungeon" one, where apparently a harmless game of Dragon and Dungeon will lead to.....WITCHCRAFT! Yes, those little lead figurines, many sided dices and a cardboard board will lead you to eternal damnation into HELL!

Here's (http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/darkdung.php?page=1) an MST3K take on Dark Dungeon.

For this, Jack Chick has earned the perpetual emnity of all D&D players. If he were to, say, protest GenCon, he'd probably be beaten to death with copies of the Book of Vile Darkness.

For this, Jack Chick has earned the perpetual emnity of all D&D players. If he were to, say, protest GenCon, he'd probably be beaten to death with copies of the Book of Vile Darkness.

I'd use the Book of Exalted Deeds.

Irony and all.

I'd use the Book of Exalted Deeds.

Irony and all.

Me too, as I don't own the BoVD.

On second thoughts, I'd stick with the core books. They're thicker, and will hurt more.

I'm not sure how that happened.

God, specifically the god of Chex Mix, loves Jack Chick.
Sheesh, there's enough clues already :rolleyes:

I'm not sure, personally, if i believe in Chex Mix OR Jack Chick, but i'm an apt pupil if there's a return on tithe for me.

Why mock him?...When you can be apathetic towards him...

oh dear, good old Jack Shit again, one of the reasons why I re-thought religion and ended up as atheist. gj, Jack! :p

He regards Kent Hovind as an authority. 'Nuff said.

He slams role playing.

ROLE PLAYING.

Me too, as I don't own the BoVD.

On second thoughts, I'd stick with the core books. They're thicker, and will hurt more.
Why just choose one? There is this stuff called "masking tape," you know. It can help you bind the books together, and then the gentle adhesive can be peeled off nice and easy afterwards.
All the same, I think your animosity would be better reseverved for the people responsible for Mazes and Monsters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazes_and_Monsters).

He regards Kent Hovind as an authority. 'Nuff said.

NOW there's brand to buzz.

Both these folks serve as examples, then?

Why just choose one? There is this stuff called "masking tape," you know. It can help you bind the books together, and then the gentle adhesive can be peeled off nice and easy afterwards.
All the same, I think your animosity would be better reseverved for the people responsible for Mazes and Monsters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazes_and_Monsters).

Wow. Tom Hanks was in this movie? Wow.

He slams role playing.

ROLE PLAYING.

Remember, the safety word is "banana".

I love Chick's views of Catholics.

Dead dude: I donated all of my money to the poor, was a loving husband and father, and attended Church every Sunday.
God: Yeah, but you weren't the right flavor of Christian. See you in Hell!

Dead dude: I was a mass-murderer, white supremacist, never worked a day in my life, and I religiously watched American Idol.
God: Uh... why should I let you into Heaven?
Dead dude: Because I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior just before I got run over by that hotdgog stand?
God: Touche.

You rock. :p

[IMG]
Whenever someone offers it to me, I usually put a disgusted look on my face that people normally reserve for Tubgirl

Tubgirl! Ewwww.

I saw one pic of it and that was enough. There was a similarity reference called 'eelgirl' *vomits*.

The worst thing is that I searched for it after it being mentioned in a webcomic.

My favorite Jack Chick Tract is the "Dark Dungeon" one, where apparently a harmless game of Dragon and Dungeon will lead to.....WITCHCRAFT! Yes, those little lead figurines, many sided dices and a cardboard board will lead you to eternal damnation into HELL!

Here's (http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/darkdung.php?page=1) an MST3K take on Dark Dungeon.

I think I have that one. I took one look at it then decided to archive it (I store pretty much everything I download).

He looks a lot like Fred Phelps too. And nobody ever sees the two of them in the same place. Maybe it's two different identities for the same guy? After all both their specialties involve telling the world they're not Christian Enough to go to Heaven.

http://www.wackypackages.org/stickers/4th_2006/realproducts/chexmix.jpg

I personally hate it. The spices don't mix well in my opinion.

Whenever someone offers it to me, I usually put a disgusted look on my face that people normally reserve for Tubgirl.

Here is the wikipedia page on Chex Mix if you don't know what I'm talking about:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chex_Mix

Nice thread theft. Now we just wait for the cache to be cleared.

My favorite Jack Chick Tract is the "Dark Dungeon" one, where apparently a harmless game of Dragon and Dungeon will lead to.....WITCHCRAFT! Yes, those little lead figurines, many sided dices and a cardboard board will lead you to eternal damnation into HELL!

Here's (http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/darkdung.php?page=1) an MST3K take on Dark Dungeon.

I'm still pissed. I've had D&D characters well above 8th level and nobody has yet taught me any of the "real power" or how to cast real spells. =(

I'm still pissed. I've had D&D characters well above 8th level and nobody has yet taught me any of the "real power" or how to cast real spells. =(
Were they ever Clerics named "Wizard", though? Because only people who are really hardcore about creating unnecessary confusion have the right personalities for real magic.

Steering us back towards Chick...

Anyone read "The Gay Blade"? That one's fucking hilarious.

Steering us back towards Chick...

Anyone read "The Gay Blade"? That one's fucking hilarious.

I don't bother to actually read them. They tend to make me angry.

Mostly angry at how absolutely fucking stupid people can be about something they know absolutely fucking nothing about.

Mostly angry at how absolutely fucking stupid people can be about something they know absolutely fucking nothing about.

...but, everything tends to turn out normal here on NS? :confused:

;)

I don't bother to actually read them. They tend to make me angry.

Mostly angry at how absolutely fucking stupid people can be about something they know absolutely fucking nothing about.

Hello I am your host Wilgrove, and welcome to real life! Yes, real life, where stupid people do say, and do stupid things when they don't know anything. Please drop your sunshine, go lucky attitude at the door.

Tubgirl! Ewwww.

I saw one pic of it and that was enough. There was a similarity reference called 'eelgirl' *vomits*.

The worst thing is that I searched for it after it being mentioned in a webcomic.

Havn't seen tubgirl... nor do I plan to.

Lemon party though....

*Takes a cold bath*

Havn't seen tubgirl... nor do I plan to.

Lemon party though....

*Takes a cold bath*

You guys are weak! Lemme show you some of the stuff I got in my *ahem* imageboard folder...I think I'll start off with the pain series.

You guys are weak! Lemme show you some of the stuff I got in my *ahem* imageboard folder...

Hmmm, my interest are peaked, I'll telegram you my e-mail addy.

I am pondering making a tract:

Title: The Fundamentalist
First page: Fundamentalist tries to 'street witness' to a hacker-type person, wearing a Linux-T-Shirt. Fundametalist says: "You must accept Jesus as your savior" The Hacker replies: "Why him and not Vishnu?"

A car crahes into the scene as they both they to escape.

Second page: The fundamentalist (who just accidentally looks like Jack Chick) and the hacker are seen from behind, almost dwarvish in front of a throne where GOD sits. His appearance is somewhere in between rams and Miraculix from Asterix, the hacker thimks: "Oh shit, he really exists!"

GOD's face is seen in bigger detail, he speaks: "You are Jack Guy and Malf and you died in a car accident, right?"

Third page: GOD is seen in the background, obscured by a cheering Malf. GOD says: "Malf, you were an atheist, but used to live by the golden rule and you used lots of Open Source Software. You are admitted!"

Similar scene with Guy: "Jack, why should I let you into heaven?" Guy: "I accpted Jesus as my saviour!"

Fourth page: GOD's hand with thumb down is seen. "Sorry, I think, you confuse me with someone else."

Picture of rms while hacking is shown, Text from the off: "I am GOD, as my prophet rms described me."

Fifth page: A globe wiht a kind of network all over it is seen "I am the one, who created the Freesoftware/OpenSource movement by inspiring hackers around the world to contribute their share."

A renaissance astronomer, looking through his telescope is seen, a small hint tells this person is Bruno, GODs voice explains: "I inspire scientists, artsts and philosophers... and since the age of enlightenment, I am on a roll."

Sixth page: A lot of religious symbols. "Until the last century, I never made mysself known and instead observed what else people would come up with."

Scene like in the second picture of page 3: GOD says: "Now for you, Jack!" Jack says: "*gulp*"

Seventh page: Scene of Guy preaching, Voice from the off: "You spread lies about me and how I created the world."

Guy streetwitnesses, voice from the off: "You annoyed people by your hard-headedness and ignorance."

8th page: Website reminding of chick's is shown, GOD: "You used close source software on client and server! I sentence you to serve in hell!"

Jack Guy on a computer, voice from the off: "Not your normal hellfire and brimstone hell, instead you will have to create the same tract again and again using only closed source software"

9th page: Jack guy falls through a hole below him while GOD watches, smilingly.

The text: "No matter how saved you think you are, better use Free/Libre/OpenSource Software."

This has been done. Albeit with paganism.

This has been done. Albeit with paganism.
And without the morale that you should use FLOSS. I tried to create a horribly satiric CoE tract since chick.com runs on Windows 2003 server.