NationStates Jolt Archive

Palestinian Leopard Attack Foiled!

Lunatic Goofballs
29-05-2007, 10:42

Clearly this is a dangerous new escalation! :eek:
29-05-2007, 10:44
I feel sorry for the daughter scared out of her own room by a mosquito. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire
29-05-2007, 10:49
LOL... for a moment, I thought that the palestinians had bought German tanks!
Call to power
29-05-2007, 10:50
bloody cats always on the bed...
Imperial isa
29-05-2007, 10:56
i just learn a new thing Israel has leopards did not know that
29-05-2007, 11:19
As a nature guide, he said, he was familiar with animals and did his best to hold down the leopard without harming it.

Now, I have to be honest, if there were a leopard on my bed, I'm not sure that not harming it would be at the forefront of my mind.
29-05-2007, 11:36

Clearly this is a dangerous new escalation! :eek:
That's hilarious. Seriously...when I read the story I laughed my head off.

i just learn a new thing Israel has leopards did not know that
Neither did I. It confused the hell out of me.
29-05-2007, 11:42
That is hardcore. Doesn't matter that it was weak or anything. Any form of leopard wrestling to defend your family is hardcore.
29-05-2007, 12:02
Palestinian leopard attack foiled?

It would've got away with it too if it wasn't for those meddlesome kids!
29-05-2007, 12:26
Roll over for a cuddle with the wife and end up on the floor fighting for your life.

Sounds like a normal marriage to me.
29-05-2007, 13:23
That is hardcore. Doesn't matter that it was weak or anything. Any form of leopard wrestling to defend your family is hardcore.

As a father I can attest to the "Damnit" factor.
This is that moment of accute adrenalin when you access the situation and realize you CAN NOT run, that you must place yourself in harms way because the kids are there.

Hence in the back of your mind is the sighed "Damn it" .

Then as you snap back to normal speed you do what you have to do.

I dont know if i could "win" wrestling a leopard, but i know I would try to choke that bitch out. I also know my dumbass kids would stand there screaming. Hence, I would have no choice but to fight.

I have faught any number of strange dogs off because my children seem to have the magical ability to turn into stone and stop all movement every time I need them to run, or get in the car.

I feel sorry for this guy, because i bet you his daughter stayed in that room the entire time he held that cat down, with him scream "Get out, just get out" so instead of tackling it, getting the kids out and then slamming the bedroom behind himself as he departed to kitchen for a shot and cigarette, he "Damn it" had to hold the animal down for 20 minutes.

My wife dont run when i tell her to either, damn it.
Mythotic Kelkia
29-05-2007, 13:31

Clearly this is a dangerous new escalation! :eek:

:confused: this happened in Israel, not "Palestine"
29-05-2007, 13:32
:confused: this happened in Israel, not "Palestine"

I believe he was jokingly suggesting that the Palestinians are using leopards as a new weapon.
29-05-2007, 13:33
:confused: this happened in Israel, not "Palestine"

Yeah, Palestine.
29-05-2007, 13:41
Won't be long now before Al'Aqsa and Hamas get the idea of strapping bombs to these leopards and the body count really racks up.
29-05-2007, 13:51
Now wait for the I.D.F. to comence helicopter attacks on other leopards.
29-05-2007, 13:57
what's really funny, is that I fixated on the kid in the room, because she was frightened by a mosquito....if my kid came into my room to sleep because a bug frightened her, I would have sent her back to bed, no questions asked.

However, I'll bet waking up to a leopard in bed with you is a bit surreal. It could have turned out so much worse.

(to Skibereen-I ALWAYS run when my husband tells me too)
29-05-2007, 14:30
(to Skibereen-I ALWAYS run when my husband tells me too)

That's good, you should. I assure you he isnt telling you that to make himself look more manly.

Case in point.

My wife usually drives when we go out, I am ...was a commercial driver and i hate driving on my personal time.

So coming home we are blocked by a stopped vehicle in the road, she taps the horn(I dont ever do that either) but she did indeed just tap it, on a metro, so you can imagine it was not a mighty blast.

So the vehicle moves and we continue only to realize the vehicle is now speeding after us.

I do not want this car to folllow us home, so we reach a stop sign in front of a park near my house...I tell her "I will get out, stand in front of their car, you go around the block to the house and then I will cut throgh the park."

I get out.

Now to my surprise it is two women.

OK, fine.

But, they get out.

Now, I would never step out of my car except ...damn wife and kids are in the car and I can not allow them to be followed home.

But that is fine, because these women are big...and I am not going to hit retrospect I should have.

I can easily beat them across the park.


My wife doesnt pull away.

She gets out.


Because in her mind she thinks the same thing I think.
"Are these bitches crazy stepping out on a 200+ lb man?"
I however am alone, or I thought I was.

So these broads run up yammering about honking horns and sure as shit here comes my wife.

the melee ensues.

Luckily i shave my head.

So I had no hair to grab.

I am scratched, kicked, and punched. As I try to hold these women off my wife...who didnt leave and now I CANT...damn it.

So these women dont realize that it is my wife, and not I who is physical.
So my little wife procedes to beating on these women.
Again...not the ending I was hoping for.

As i am the buffer...they cant catch my squirelly little wife because she is running around me and I am grabbing, they are beating on me while I am acting as barricade.

because i cant leave...damn it.

It gets better...
My children ...oh damn it.

Now pile out of the car and attack these women.

10, 8, 6


I am now waiting for the COPS show to pull up.


So on our way to the police station I look at my wife and say "Next time could you just fucking leave. Damn it."
29-05-2007, 14:55
Now wait for the I.D.F. to comence helicopter attacks on other leopards.

Or wait for the US to start carpet-bombing the wildlife reservations of Africa (aka "leopard tribal areas") to weed out the leopard threat to democracy.
29-05-2007, 21:27
Best story to come out of the middle east in years! :D
29-05-2007, 21:46
Neither did I. It confused the hell out of me.
If I had known the Negev had leopards, I may have had second thoughts about hiking through there last year.

It was bad enough going through Ein Gedi and ducking everytime an Ibex ran above you and sent rocks flying towards you. It was worth it once I reached Nahal David. It's nice to go through the barren Judean Desert to find an amazing natural oasis full of streams, waterfalls and vibrant life. The water was pretty damn cold, but at least the falls made a great shower to get all of the salt from the Dead Sea off of me.
New Manvir
29-05-2007, 21:50
lolz...I didn't know there were leopards in Israel