NationStates Jolt Archive


The shark messiah arriveth

Extreme Ironing
23-05-2007, 20:18
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6681793.stm

I'm surprised no-one has posted this yet. Perhaps God/Jesus was thinking about the second coming, missed, and ended up in a shark instead. Or perhaps it is a sign that the sharks are about to claim the earth for their own, I for one welcome....:p

Comments?
Drunk commies deleted
23-05-2007, 20:19
I was gonna post it, but he can't be the shark messiah because he was killed by a stingray shortly after birth. I guess he was just the reincarnation of that crocodile hunter fella.
Neo Art
23-05-2007, 20:30
I for one welcome our new divine shark overlords.
Bodies Without Organs
23-05-2007, 20:34
I was gonna post it...

Same here, but I got distracted by the description of shark sex.


Hmmmm. Shark sex.
New Manvir
23-05-2007, 20:35
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6681793.stm

I'm surprised no-one has posted this yet. Perhaps God/Jesus was thinking about the second coming, missed, and ended up in a shark instead. Or perhaps it is a sign that the sharks are about to claim the earth for their own, I for one welcome....:p

Comments?

Whats so special about a "virgin birth" plants and trees have been doing it forever...:p

I guess sharks can reproduce asexually too...:confused:
UN Protectorates
23-05-2007, 21:25
That's pretty sad that the pup got killed by a Stingray shortly after birth.

Why where the sharks kept with rays anyway?
Forsakia
23-05-2007, 21:41
I for one welcome our new divine shark overlords.

Along with the apes and iguana overlords aswell I think

But you've just infringed Ifreann's patented response.:p
Hispanionla
23-05-2007, 21:55
I say bullshit.

Check the poolboy :P
New Genoa
23-05-2007, 21:57
So I guess Jesus was really a shark.
Myu in the Middle
23-05-2007, 22:22
I was gonna post it, but he can't be the shark messiah because he was killed by a stingray shortly after birth.
Shark Jesus died that all Fish might Live.
Urscreenhere
23-05-2007, 22:39
or, Humankind as we are, we intervened. Does this mean we're the romans, and that the Shark shall awake later (maybe to walk the earth and cause destruction on us all)?

Pah! a Land shark should be easy to kill, anyhow :sniper: **kapow*

although... what if the shark has majic powers! o.0
South Lorenya
23-05-2007, 22:50
Jesus Chomp died to a stingray.
Steve Irwin died to a stignray.
I smell a conspiracy! (or not...)
Londim
23-05-2007, 22:51
or, Humankind as we are, we intervened. Does this mean we're the romans, and that the Shark shall awake later (maybe to walk the earth and cause destruction on us all)?

Pah! a Land shark should be easy to kill, anyhow :sniper: **kapow*

although... what if the shark has majic powers! o.0

Well it is the Shark Messiah. Who knows what he can do! Quick everyone grab a holy harpoon!
Eltaphilon
23-05-2007, 22:52
although... what if the shark has majic powers! o.0

Argh! My worse nightmares have been realised!
Zarakon
23-05-2007, 22:56
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6681793.stm

I'm surprised no-one has posted this yet. Perhaps God/Jesus was thinking about the second coming, missed, and ended up in a shark instead. Or perhaps it is a sign that the sharks are about to claim the earth for their own, I for one welcome....:p

Comments?

Yeah. I got a comment. Is there a new ocean somewhere?

:p
New Stalinberg
23-05-2007, 22:59
Awe, I thought this would be about Megaladons or something.
Hynation
23-05-2007, 23:01
Do you think Christ Shark will be back 3 days from now?
New Manvir
23-05-2007, 23:01
I'm going to start THE CHURCH OF SHARK...anyone wanna help me on the holy scriptures?....

'And SHARK said "Let their be water" and on the forty-ninth day the water doth arriveth' :p
Urscreenhere
23-05-2007, 23:02
Well it is the Shark Messiah. Who knows what he can do! Quick everyone grab a holy harpoon!

hmmm, but what about Holy water?

I've heard lately that it now gives babies dieseases or something (on the radio).
Maybe if we could get large doses of it, we could save mankind from Holy extinction!
Eltaphilon
23-05-2007, 23:03
I'm going to start THE CHURCH OF SHARK...anyone wanna help me on the holy scriptures?....

'And SHARK said "Let their be water" and on the forty-ninth day the water doth arriveth' :p

"And he doth swam in a circle, two meters in diameter, for many hours.
And lo! It was good."
New Manvir
23-05-2007, 23:04
"And he doth swam in a circle, two meters in diameter, for many hours.
And lo! It was good."

brilliant!
German Nightmare
24-05-2007, 01:47
Then Sharky was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.
After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Shark of God, tell these stones to become fish."

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/landshark.jpg
Jesuis
24-05-2007, 03:00
Then Sharky was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.


http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/pfk/pages/item.php?news=988

:)
Gauthier
24-05-2007, 03:52
All I have to say is...

Pah-raaaaaise JAWSUS!!
Troglobites
24-05-2007, 03:56
Aphids (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphids) have been doing that for aeons.

Hail Aphy full of grace.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenogenetic
German Nightmare
24-05-2007, 13:19
http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/pfk/pages/item.php?news=988

:)
Well, that one must've been a false messiah, then!
All I have to say is...

Pah-raaaaaise JAWSUS!!
All I have for you is...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Pergament.jpg

Enjoy!
Ifreann
24-05-2007, 13:26
I for one await the return of Shark Jesus from the grave.

Hail Shark Mary, full of teeth
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among sharks
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jawsus
Holy Mary, Mother of Jaws
Pray for us swimmers
Now and at the hour of our devouring

Afish.
Jesuis
24-05-2007, 13:55
I for one await the return of Shark Jesus from the grave.

Hail Shark Mary, full of teeth
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among sharks
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jawsus
Holy Mary, Mother of Jaws
Pray for us swimmers
Now and at the hour of our devouring

Afish.

*falls out of chair laughing*
*hits head on table*
*lays on the floor unconscieous, bleeding to death*
*goes to join Jawsus*
Soleichunn
24-05-2007, 14:10
Along with the apes and iguana overlords aswell I think

But you've just infringed Ifreann's patented response.:p

Apes don't have viable ones, some bees do though.
Aelosia
24-05-2007, 14:16
I for one await the return of Shark Jesus from the grave.

Hail Shark Mary, full of teeth
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among sharks
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jawsus
Holy Mary, Mother of Jaws
Pray for us swimmers
Now and at the hour of our devouring

Afish.

Totally brilliant, I have to add.

(And yes, Ifry, you made me almost fall off my chair. People here are still wondering what happened inside my office)
New Manvir
24-05-2007, 14:17
Aphids (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphids) have been doing that for aeons.

Hail Aphy full of grace.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenogenetic

ZOMG!! DESTROY TEH 3B1L INF1DEL APHID WORSHIPPER!!!!! :D

ALL HAIL THE SHARK!!!