NationStates Jolt Archive

I may have posted in the past that I am going to get married... one of these days, I'm just bad at getting the process going.

But I know what I want, and it's not the most conventional wedding.

Aside from the fact that I'm going to change my name, including dropping my hideous first name in favour of my middle name; to his (it comes way before mine alphabetically and I hated being the "W" kid), I'm getting married civilly.

I was born Catholic, he's Jewish and both of us are as religious as a pile of steaming dog crap. So a religious ceremony is something we wanted to forgo. We're going to get married by an officiate who simply just leads it and helps us accomplish the legal paper work.

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?

Go ahead, get married wherever you want, to as many people as you want, of whatever gender you want. It really does not matter to me.

Go ahead, get married wherever you want, to as many people as you want, of whatever gender you want. It really does not matter to me.

Boo! You're no fun! :p

no bridesmaids? :(

i knew someone who got married civilly and pay two poeple to be witness no big deal really

......as religious as a pile of steaming dog crap.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/a691_thumb.gif


So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?

Not at all. Though if you pick a guy make sure to refer to him as your maid of honour, for the lols.

Boo! You're no fun! :p

Mmm... okay.

no bridesmaids? :(

It's going to be a VERY small ceremony. So I had to pick. :fluffle:

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/a691_thumb.gif
Dude.... where do you find these images??

Not at all. Though if you pick a guy make sure to refer to him as your maid of honour, for the lols.

I'd get my ass kicked but at least I'd die laughing in the process. :D

The thing to remember about weddings is that it is your wedding, well yours and your partners, so do what ever you want, have the sort of wedding that you want.

Ultimatly anybody that tells you this or that is against tradition, you can sweetly tell to fuck off, and mind ya own bussines.

The thing to remember about weddings is that it is your wedding, well yours and your partners, so do what ever you want, have the sort of wedding that you want.

Ultimatly anybody that tells you this or that is against tradition, you can sweetly tell to fuck off, and mind ya own bussines.

Which is why my mother will not be getting an invite. She's way too critical of my style. Especially since I'm revoking all her privileges in the matter and giving them over to my future mama-in-law.

Dude.... where do you find these images??
The internet.

Dude.... where do you find these images??
Internet. Paradise Beach specifically.



I'd get my ass kicked but at least I'd die laughing in the process. :D

Nah, hubby-to-be will protect you. That's what he's for. That and the humpy bumpy.

Nah, hubby-to-be will protect you. That's what he's for. That and the humpy bumpy.
No, he's there to kiss my ass. ;)

No, he's there to kiss my ass. ;)

I think that falls under humpy bumpy.

It's going to be a VERY small ceremony. So I had to pick. :fluffle:

you must have an NSG wedding ceremony to compensate!

only question is who will do the priest part Max or [violet]?

you must have an NSG wedding ceremony to compensate!

only question is who will do the priest part Max or [violet]?

I'm a =POPE=, I'll do it.

I'm a =POPE=, I'll do it.

to the =POPE= minivan-mobile!

*ponders what a pope stag night would involve*

Its your wedding anyway.

The only problem would be if it was a religious wedding.

to the =POPE= minivan-mobile!

*ponders what a pope stag night would involve*

You'l need a passport and plenty of condoms.

You'l need a passport and plenty of condoms.

I'm going to smuggle coke into the US :confused:

I'm going to smuggle coke into the US :confused:

coke so 80s ICE the new thing here

I'm going to smuggle coke into the US :confused:

Not exactly.

one of my best friends had a best man and a best "woman" his 2 very best friends from childhood on...Sue even wore a tux.

You can do whatever you want, and feel comfortable with. (I suggest you don't ask your friend to wear a frilly dress....it's not even nice to make women wear the frilly dresses)

Good luck

I may have posted in the past that I am going to get married... one of these days, I'm just bad at getting the process going.

But I know what I want, and it's not the most conventional wedding.

Aside from the fact that I'm going to change my name, including dropping my hideous first name in favour of my middle name; to his (it comes way before mine alphabetically and I hated being the "W" kid), I'm getting married civilly.

I was born Catholic, he's Jewish and both of us are as religious as a pile of steaming dog crap. So a religious ceremony is something we wanted to forgo. We're going to get married by an officiate who simply just leads it and helps us accomplish the legal paper work.

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?
the wedding is not nearly as important as the marriage, but if you wanna do one, do whatever you want exactly how you want and never let anyone tell you different *unless they are just trying to keep you out of debt

we got married (hubby and I) in a non-religious ceremony, it wasn't a big deal.

It's certainly unconventional. But in a way kind of cool.

It sort of makes sense when you think about it: why the hell would you exclude your best friend from being the best (wo)man/maid(man) of honor just based on some idiotic tradition? Enforcing gender roles much?

It's certainly unconventional. But in a way kind of cool.

It sort of makes sense when you think about it: why the hell would you exclude your best friend from being the best (wo)man/maid(man) of honor just based on some idiotic tradition? Enforcing gender roles much?

Well.... my friend was a "she"...

I am thinking about having a hand fasting ceremony at some neolithic standing stones that are near to where I grew up and my Mum is buried. I have a friend who is a Wicca and we have talked about it, we could walk to the stones and as the sun rises have our hands ceremonially tied together and then all of our friends can come watch and we could then go home and have a BBQ. If we wanted the legal bit, we could do a civil ceremony with just the witnesses. We are still deciding if that is the way we want to go.

no, it's not not strange. but it seems to be a difficult tradition to break out of. good show for breaking the mould :). most of my best friends are girls but they are also very traditional about this sort of thing and so the only males on their side of the wedding party they can conceive of are page boys. if and when they get married i'm going to be an adult page boy... great.

no, it's not not strange. but it seems to be a difficult tradition to break out of. good show for breaking the mould :). most of my best friends are girls but they are also very traditional about this sort of thing and so the only males on their side of the wedding party they can conceive of are page boys. if and when they get married i'm going to be an adult page boy... great.

Page boy? o_O;

I remember telling my wife something to the effect of "if you want a wedding, you're on your own planning it. If I had my way we'd go down to the courthouse and get it done there."

6 months and around $10K of dad's money later, I'm in a goddamn tuxedo getting married in a banquet hall (I did still refuse to have it done in a church).

I remember telling my wife something to the effect of "if you want a wedding, you're on your own planning it. If I had my way we'd go down to the courthouse and get it done there."

6 months and around $10K of dad's money later, I'm in a goddamn tuxedo getting married in a banquet hall (I did still refuse to have it done in a church).

MY fiance and I are only doing the ceremonial shit to make our family happy. If we had our way, we'd write up vows on serviettes and use onion rings for rings and be done with it but my dad convinced me that the ceremony puts people in a good mood so they'll wanna give us stuff. We like stuff so naturally that won out.

MY fiance and I are only doing the ceremonial shit to make our family happy. If we had our way, we'd write up vows on serviettes and use onion rings for rings and be done with it but my dad convinced me that the ceremony puts people in a good mood so they'll wanna give us stuff. We like stuff so naturally that won out.

Bah, they gave my wife stuff, not me. The kind of stuff I'd want for gifts isn't the kind of thing you ask for for wedding presents.

Page boy? o_O;

yah, the little kid that wanders down the aisle with a basket of confetti or whatever before the bride comes in looking all confused and wearing short shorts.

There is a tradition that has been lost in this age of disposable marriage. The attendants at the wedding didn't just stand up in ugly cloths on that one day, they were to be a part of the marriage. It was their job for the rest of their lives to make sure the marriage worked out. If there were ever a problem in the marriage, they were to go to the couple and mediate. If the marriage failed it was a disgrace to the attendants for their failure to keep the marriage happy and together.

Wouldn't it be good if we brought back that tradition?

Bah, they gave my wife stuff, not me. The kind of stuff I'd want for gifts isn't the kind of thing you ask for for wedding presents.

That's why we're not asking for appliances. :D We want useful goods like... uh... plane tickets for the honeymoon!

There is a tradition that has been lost in this age of disposable marriage. The attendants at the wedding didn't just stand up in ugly cloths on that one day, they were to be a part of the marriage. It was their job for the rest of their lives to make sure the marriage worked out. If there were ever a problem in the marriage, they were to go to the couple and mediate. If the marriage failed it was a disgrace to the attendants for their failure to keep the marriage happy and together.

Wouldn't it be good if we brought back that tradition?

*ponders*

...nah

That's why we're not asking for appliances. We want useful goods like... uh... plane tickets for the honeymoon!

Honeymoon was part of "dad's money" :P Though the honeymoon was a bit of a bust. We were both too sunburned to enjoy the best parts of a honeymoon.

The families involved are of the tradition that you give "useful" gifts "for the future home" at weddings. Nevermind that much of my entertainment stuff had been sold earlier that year so we could make rent. I only got one thing that I would've wanted, and that was from my best man.

See, if we'd done it my way, everyone would've saved money, time, and a trip upstate.

I wouldn't have wanted the best man at my wedding, who I don't think we really saw much after the first year of so of my marriage (first marriage) or the three little girls who I had a bridesmaids, to have to have tried to persuade me to stay married to my idiot ex-husband. I can't see how this situation would work when almost everyone I know has the grooms brother/best friend as the best man and small girls who are sisters/nieces of the bride etc as bridesmaids. Who is supposed to mediate out of that little bunch? Kids or your husbands moron brother?

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?
:eek:
KEWL!!:D

I like it :) I think you're very, very right. Even in a religious ceremony, I think I would do what you do: Go with my best friend regardless of gender.

I attended a cross-gender bachellorette-party a little over a year ago - that was one of the best parties I've ever been to! So I do not think you're strange at all.

Best of luck! :fluffle:

Bridesmaids exist only to wear truely hideous gowns to make the bride by comparison look glorious.

Bridesmaids exist only to wear truely hideous gowns to make the bride by comparison look glorious.

I wondered about that. ;)

I may have posted in the past that I am going to get married... one of these days, I'm just bad at getting the process going.

But I know what I want, and it's not the most conventional wedding.

Aside from the fact that I'm going to change my name, including dropping my hideous first name in favour of my middle name; to his (it comes way before mine alphabetically and I hated being the "W" kid), I'm getting married civilly.

I was born Catholic, he's Jewish and both of us are as religious as a pile of steaming dog crap. So a religious ceremony is something we wanted to forgo. We're going to get married by an officiate who simply just leads it and helps us accomplish the legal paper work.

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?

I had a completely unconventional non-religious (although it was spiritual to me and my wife) wedding outdoors by a waterfall. Her mom is a hardcore Catholic and kept trying to change our minds. Wanting it to be very traditionally Catholic and in some church. ugh!

We had no wedding party either. we also both dresses extremeely comfortably. She wore flip flops and I wore sandals.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y214/biyay/Wedding/IMG_6771.jpg

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?

The whole point of having a best man/maid of honor is to have someone you deeply care about standing with you and seeing you through it all. Why on Earth should you be compelled to pick a woman if your closest friend is a man?

no bridesmaids? :(

Not even an open bar. :(

There is a tradition that has been lost in this age of disposable marriage. The attendants at the wedding didn't just stand up in ugly cloths on that one day, they were to be a part of the marriage. It was their job for the rest of their lives to make sure the marriage worked out. If there were ever a problem in the marriage, they were to go to the couple and mediate. If the marriage failed it was a disgrace to the attendants for their failure to keep the marriage happy and together.

Wouldn't it be good if we brought back that tradition?

While I certainly don't think that anyone (including myself) would consider our attendants disgraced if my hubby and I don't stay married forever, our reverend did incorporate everyone in attendance into the wedding ceremony, charging them all to do what they could to see that our marriage lasts.


I attended a cross-gender bachellorette-party a little over a year ago - that was one of the best parties I've ever been to! So I do not think you're strange at all.

Indeed, my bachelorette party wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without the two guys who attended. One was our DD (a bridesmaid's hubby). The other was a really good gay friend who felt he'd be more comfortable out with the girls than the guys. Besides, we figured the whole bachelor/bachelorette party thing was meant to split up couples, and his boyfriend was one of the groomsmen. =)


I had a completely unconventional non-religious (although it was spiritual to me and my wife) wedding outdoors by a waterfall. Her mom is a hardcore Catholic and kept trying to change our minds. Wanting it to be very traditionally Catholic and in some church. ugh!

We had no wedding party either. we also both dresses extremeely comfortably. She wore flip flops and I wore sandals.

You guys are cute!

You guys are cute!

:fluffle:

I had a completely unconventional non-religious (although it was spiritual to me and my wife) wedding outdoors by a waterfall. Her mom is a hardcore Catholic and kept trying to change our minds. Wanting it to be very traditionally Catholic and in some church. ugh!

We had no wedding party either. we also both dresses extremeely comfortably. She wore flip flops and I wore sandals.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y214/biyay/Wedding/IMG_6771.jpg

Aaaaaw :)

Cute waterfall!

Indeed, my bachelorette party wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without the two guys who attended. One was our DD (a bridesmaid's hubby). The other was a really good gay friend who felt he'd be more comfortable out with the girls than the guys. Besides, we figured the whole bachelor/bachelorette party thing was meant to split up couples, and his boyfriend was one of the groomsmen. =)

Yeah, that was one of the more... delicate... matters. One of the guys hooked up with one of the girls (bridesmaids) at the party... And I mean hooked up! But then again, what's a party without a wee bit of drama? :p All in good fun ;)

I may have posted in the past that I am going to get married... one of these days, I'm just bad at getting the process going.

But I know what I want, and it's not the most conventional wedding.

Aside from the fact that I'm going to change my name, including dropping my hideous first name in favour of my middle name; to his (it comes way before mine alphabetically and I hated being the "W" kid), I'm getting married civilly.

I was born Catholic, he's Jewish and both of us are as religious as a pile of steaming dog crap. So a religious ceremony is something we wanted to forgo. We're going to get married by an officiate who simply just leads it and helps us accomplish the legal paper work.

Either way we both need 1 witness each. He's taking his best friend as his best man and after deciding I can't stand girlish crap, I too am taking a best man and not a maid of honour. I don't care what gender my best friend is.

So... am I strange for wanting to take a best man over a maid of honour or does anything fly these days?

You should get married on the moon :eek:....or on the sun...that's hot :D

*gets sued by Paris Hilton :( *

whatever....get married any way you like....:)

I have no plans on getting married... but if I did, it would be nonreligious, and the ideal present would be a nice fat check~