NationStates Jolt Archive

Now, I'm not going to say that Pitch Black was a great film, in fact I would probably be somewhat hesitant about even calling it a good film, but it was a kind of fun film in a cliche ridden, schlocky B-movie fashion. Yeah, sure it was formulaic, and was guaranteed to provoke shouts of 'set fire to something, you eejits', but it wasn't a tedious and overwrought plodding sequence of pointless fist-fights driven by a flimsy and irritating mystical backdrop...

...but that sequal? Wow.

Do film studios not employ someone to reign in director's from their pointless and self-indulgent wankfests? Heck, even the Romans, who were themselves somewhat given to excess, still employed chaps to point out the folly of their alpha males.

If I wanted a homoerotic pantomime version of the first half of Dune I would have asked for one.

Of course, the real question is will I never learn when it comes to this kind of film? Time and time again I am baffled and disappointed by the sheer idiocy and jaw dropping incompetence of American film making.

Your expectations of Vin Diesel are much too high.....for example.....
http://www.trailerdownload.net/dvd/thepacifier.jpg

This rant is a couple years late.

This rant is a couple years late.

Quite possibly.

I'm still tinkering with my final draft of my devastating critique of L'Arrivée d'un Train en Gare de la Ciotat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6i3uccnZhQ&mode).

It could very well be the final nail in the coffin of this upstart nascent so-called 'moving pictures' industry.

Quite possibly.

I'm still tinkering with my final draft of my devastating critique of L'Arrivée d'un Train en Gare de la Ciotat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27Arriv%C3%A9e_d%27un_Train_en_Gare_de_la_Ciotat).

It could very well be the final nail in the coffin of this upstart nascent so-called 'moving pictures' industry.

Truly a mover of worlds in the film industry you are. :p

Truly a mover of worlds in the film industry you are. :p

Indeed. When I speak Hollywood cocks its ears. When I fart Bollywood holds its nose.

I guess my real point is that although I can credit that it can be quite hard to make an intelligent movie, I can't really believe that it is so hard not to make a dumb one.

Indeed. When I speak Hollywood cocks its ears. When I fart Bollywood holds its nose.

I guess my real point is that although I can credit that it can be quite hard to make an intelligent movie, I can't really believe that it is so hard not to make a dumb one.

Look at any Uwe Boll movie. ANY Uwe Boll movie.

Look at any Uwe Boll movie. ANY Uwe Boll movie.

Jesus wept, no. I already had the misfortune to sit through Alone In The Dark and was left with the disturbing feeling that either (a) I had obviously slept sthrough a larg chunk of the middle of the film and missed some key fact which would make the whole shambolic mess into a vaguely coherent piece, or (b) one of the two of us, me or the director, was a gibbering retard incapable of understanding anything, or (c) I had missed some very obvious and elaborate time-wasting joke.

You know that thing they used to do in ancient Greece, the whole leaving the newborn out on the mountainside to be devoured by wolves? I'm starting to become more and more receptive to that idea in light of the last ten years of US film output. Of course, it all depends upon being able to identify potential film makers at an early age, and Oedipus kind of shows up the limitations of the system, but, hey, its worth a try.

If I wanted a homoerotic pantomime version of the first half of Dune I would have asked for one.
Does he dare point out the obvious fact that by buying/downloading/renting the Chronicles of Riddick, you did make just that request?

Does he dare point out the obvious fact that by buying/downloading/renting the Chronicles of Riddick, you did make just that request?

Given that the only information I had to go on at the time of (ahem)acquiring(/ahem) it was that it was the sequal to Pitch Black, I plead ignorance.

Is that you, TH?

Your expectations of Vin Diesel are much too high.....for example.....
http://www.trailerdownload.net/dvd/thepacifier.jpg
I never saw that movie, but I did see the trailer, which wasn't nearly as funny as my mother's description of the movie based on the trailer.

That film suffered from artistic overproduction. In other words, the director/writer invented a fantastic universe, with scale on par with Star Wars, Dune or the Culture, but then wasn't skilled enough to write a strong plot set within that universe and/or wanted to show off as much of it as possible to avoid wasting so much effort. It wasn't a terrible movie. It had some brilliantly creative set designs and effects. It's just a pity that the plot didn't utilise them more competently. I still enjoyed it with my brain set to neutral, though.

The game was good, too.

Well technically Chronicles of Riddick was part three in the story. (four if you count Escape from Butcher Bay)

And I liked it :p

I, personally, loved The Chronicles of Riddick. But then again, I also loved Waterworld. I thought Vin was great as riddick, and still count it as one of my favorite Sci-fi movies. But I'm weird like that.

I guess it's just another episode of not everyone expects the same thing from a movie as you do.

And I would really rather see Vin Diesel be a badass for two hours than watch the two hours of Toby Maguire whining like a pathetic little bitch about how he just can't have nice things.

I actually enjoyed the movie, not least because I got hold of a pirate copy 1month before it was on general theatre release in NZ and the week I was leaving my school. I spent that week showing it to my classes who were most grateful and extremely docile, thus alleviating me of the need to do lessons for those last few days and allowed me to leave with a hero-status (typical high school student's memories being limited to how you treated them that week).

Also, I held no illusions as to the level of sophistry I would encounter regards the plot/acting/storyline. Too much Hollywood exposure has made me extremely cynical and pessimistic of sequels. As a result, I have extremely low standards upon entering the theatre and I'm rarely disappointed.
Tellingly, the 14 yr olds I showed it to thought it was fantastic. Which tells you what their target audience most probably was.
I quite liked the idea of the death guys, necrowotsits.

Biggest puzzle for me was Dame Judi Dench. WTF was she doing there?
Really WTF?!?

That film suffered from artistic overproduction. In other words, the director/writer invented a fantastic universe, with scale on par with Star Wars, Dune or the Culture, but then wasn't skilled enough to write a strong plot set within that universe and/or wanted to show off as much of it as possible to avoid wasting so much effort. It wasn't a terrible movie. It had some brilliantly creative set designs and effects. It's just a pity that the plot didn't utilise them more competently. I still enjoyed it with my brain set to neutral, though.
agree with you on all parts, except Dune and Culture. Noway was this even remotely close to those universes.
It would have worked far better if it had been split into 2 movies, with less time on Vin running round being Mr unstoppable kickass machine and more time on developing the other characters, plots, storylines and intrigues. Could have built the final battle up more.


a Culture movie would kick ass.

I actually enjoyed the movie, not least because I got hold of a pirate copy 1month before it was on general theatre release in NZ and the week I was leaving my school. I spent that week showing it to my classes who were most grateful and extremely docile, thus alleviating me of the need to do lessons for those last few days and allowed me to leave with a hero-status (typical high school student's memories being limited to how you treated them that week).

Also, I held no illusions as to the level of sophistry I would encounter regards the plot/acting/storyline. Too much Hollywood exposure has made me extremely cynical and pessimistic of sequels. As a result, I have extremely low standards upon entering the theatre and I'm rarely disappointed.
Tellingly, the 14 yr olds I showed it to thought it was fantastic. Which tells you what their target audience most probably was.
I quite liked the idea of the death guys, necrowotsits.

Biggest puzzle for me was Dame Judi Dench. WTF was she doing there?
Really WTF?!?

I listened to the commentary, and apparently they just thought "What the hell, let's try Judy Dench for the air elemental". So they went to her with the idea, and she liked it, and that was that.

agree with you on all parts, except Dune and Culture. Noway was this even remotely close to those universes.
It would have worked far better if it had been split into 2 movies, with less time on Vin running round being Mr unstoppable kickass machine and more time on developing the other characters, plots, storylines and intrigues. Could have built the final battle up more.


a Culture movie would kick ass.

Au contraire, if you look into the work that went into the universe that didn't make it into the film (the game is a good example of such meta-canon), the universe the writer created was HUGE. Way bigger than most people would ever imagine. If you ever buy the special edition directors cut of the DVD and watch the extras it goes into some detail.

99.9% of what was created didn't make it into the film.

Au contraire, if you look into the work that went into the universe that didn't make it into the film (the game is a good example of such meta-canon), the universe the writer created was HUGE. Way bigger than most people would ever imagine. If you ever buy the special edition directors cut of the DVD and watch the extras it goes into some detail.

99.9% of what was created didn't make it into the film.
I'll accept that the Universe created was far larger than that on screen. Even on 1st watching, one can't help but feel that one is missing a lot.

But I still say Dune and Culture's Universe is bigger and much more thought out. Dune is 6 hefty books with 3 prequel trilogys (so 15 altogehter) along with numerous short stories and Culture is 6 books and a collection of short stories.

Until you can show me the writer wrote an equivalent number of words concerning his Riddick Universe, I'm obligated to do my little "I'm right and you're not" dance.
not a pretty sight I know, but it makes me feel good and that's what counts.

I'll accept that the Universe created was far larger than that on screen. Even on 1st watching, one can't help but feel that one is missing a lot.

But I still say Dune and Culture's Universe is bigger and much more thought out. Dune is 6 hefty books with 3 prequel trilogys (so 15 altogehter) along with numerous short stories and Culture is 6 books and a collection of short stories.

Until you can show me the writer wrote an equivalent number of words concerning his Riddick Universe, I'm obligated to do my little "I'm right and you're not" dance.
not a pretty sight I know, but it makes me feel good and that's what counts.

Oh, I wasn't aware of how expanded Dune had become since Frank Herbert died. In any case I was only making a broad comparision. It's certainly larger in scope than it appeared.

Oh, I wasn't aware of how expanded Dune had become since Frank Herbert died. In any case I was only making a broad comparision. It's certainly larger in scope than it appeared.
I haven't read them, but my brother made an attempt on the 1st prequel trilogy and said it wasn't worth the time nor effort.

I haven't read them, but my brother made an attempt on the 1st prequel trilogy and said it wasn't worth the time nor effort.

Your brother wasn't lying, either.

Brian Herbert never wrote any prequels to his father's masterwork. Rumours that he did are a vile slander upon the universe.

I really enjoyed both Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick. The plot wasn't the greatest ever written, but it worked, and the universe (as commented upon before) is simply superb. ANd I do consider Vin Diesel a very good actor as well as action star.

I really enjoyed both Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick. The plot wasn't the greatest ever written, but it worked, and the universe (as commented upon before) is simply superb. ANd I do consider Vin Diesel a very good actor as well as action star.
you nearly had me there. sucked me right in, right up that bit I bolded.
I really thought you were being serious and honest, but then you throw that curveball and suddenly it's clear you're taking the piss.
well done.

That film suffered from artistic overproduction. In other words, the director/writer invented a fantastic universe, with scale on par with Star Wars, Dune or the Culture, but then wasn't skilled enough to write a strong plot set within that universe and/or wanted to show off as much of it as possible to avoid wasting so much effort. It wasn't a terrible movie. It had some brilliantly creative set designs and effects. It's just a pity that the plot didn't utilise them more competently. I still enjoyed it with my brain set to neutral, though.

The game was good, too.

I fully agree. Chronicles of Riddick had the potential to be an excellent movie, potentially creating the first entirely new, entirely independent Science Fiction universe since the inception of Star Wars. It is a great tragedy that the writer was unable to fully utilize such a potentially compelling backdrop to its fullest.

Your expectations of Vin Diesel are much too high.....for example.....
http://www.trailerdownload.net/dvd/thepacifier.jpg
I had quite a good time watching that movie.

Now, I'm not going to say that Pitch Black was a great film, in fact I would probably be somewhat hesitant about even calling it a good film, but it was a kind of fun film in a cliche ridden, schlocky B-movie fashion. Yeah, sure it was formulaic, and was guaranteed to provoke shouts of 'set fire to something, you eejits', but it wasn't a tedious and overwrought plodding sequence of pointless fist-fights driven by a flimsy and irritating mystical backdrop...

...but that sequal? Wow.

Do film studios not employ someone to reign in director's from their pointless and self-indulgent wankfests? Heck, even the Romans, who were themselves somewhat given to excess, still employed chaps to point out the folly of their alpha males.

If I wanted a homoerotic pantomime version of the first half of Dune I would have asked for one.

Of course, the real question is will I never learn when it comes to this kind of film? Time and time again I am baffled and disappointed by the sheer idiocy and jaw dropping incompetence of American film making.
The problem is that you expected something good from a Sci-fi flick.

most Sci-Fi flicks nowdays are special effects strung together by a semblance of a story. as long as you think like that, then you will rarely be disappointed.

Yes, its bad.

I think Pitch Black is far superior. Why? Because its simple, and in being so, its more well done.

Chronicles tries to be too complex and failed at it.

Btw I think Radha Mitchell is an amazing actress. Some of the other work she has done is quite good.

Eh I liked it.

If you like, riddick is to film what a tomato sandwich is to food. Enjoyable, but more a filler than a main meal.

Chronicles of Riddick was painful.

Let us never speak of it again.

This rant is a couple years late.

I think the forum time warping has gone critical.

a Culture movie would kick ass.

could, surely. best to avoid baseless optimism in my experience.

could, surely. best to avoid baseless optimism in my experience.

If you go into a situation with low expectations, it's easy to be pleasantly surprised. I think the Culture Story with the greatest "filmability" would have to be the Player of Games.

Biggest puzzle for me was Dame Judi Dench. WTF was she doing there?
Really WTF?!?

I'd almost swear in the extras on the DVD Vin Diesal said that character was actually written into the story specefically to enable them to cast Judi Dench into the movie.

Now, I'm not going to say that Pitch Black was a great film, in fact I would probably be somewhat hesitant about even calling it a good film, but it was a kind of fun film in a cliche ridden, schlocky B-movie fashion. Yeah, sure it was formulaic, and was guaranteed to provoke shouts of 'set fire to something, you eejits', but it wasn't a tedious and overwrought plodding sequence of pointless fist-fights driven by a flimsy and irritating mystical backdrop...

...but that sequal? Wow.

Do film studios not employ someone to reign in director's from their pointless and self-indulgent wankfests? Heck, even the Romans, who were themselves somewhat given to excess, still employed chaps to point out the folly of their alpha males.

If I wanted a homoerotic pantomime version of the first half of Dune I would have asked for one.

Of course, the real question is will I never learn when it comes to this kind of film? Time and time again I am baffled and disappointed by the sheer idiocy and jaw dropping incompetence of American film making.


hmmm, maybe try this. www.blogger.com :p

I also have to say that the theatrical cut (The one they always show on HBO) really does suck, as it cuts out all the important parts about Riddick being a Furian, as well as screwing up the cutting in nearly every single action sequence. The directors cut is so significantly better I won't even watch the theatrical cut.

I'd almost swear in the extras on the DVD Vin Diesal said that character was actually written into the story specefically to enable them to cast Judi Dench into the movie.

You know, though, I agree with him. It was the same reaction I had when I saw Ben Kingsley in the Bloodrayne Uwe Boll disaster. I was like "Come ON, you're better than that!"

You know, though, I agree with him. It was the same reaction I had when I saw Ben Kingsley in the Bloodrayne Uwe Boll disaster. I was like "Come ON, you're better than that!"

hey, none of that is as bad as the time Connery and Lambert actually acted in <deleted for security reasons. Highlander 2 is now an unmovie.>

hey, none of that is as bad as the time Connery and Lambert actually acted in <deleted for security reasons. Highlander 2 is now an unmovie.>

Speak not its foul name!

Speak not its foul name!

Here's a great idea, we gather up all the DVDs of <unmovie> and give them to the terrorists, marked Prez Bush's secret plans. Don't watch.. They'll watch them, and subsequently lose the will to live.

My only memory of the Chronicles of Riddick is the subtitles. Really, there is no need to put Tense dramatic music with occasional softer overtones leading into a cataclysm of trumpets and timpani every five fucking minutes.

My only memory of the Chronicles of Riddick is the subtitles. Really, there is no need to put Tense dramatic music with occasional softer overtones leading into a cataclysm of trumpets and timpani every five fucking minutes.

psst... don't watch Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever.

ALL of the dialogue was drowned out by the Sound effects, soundtracks, everything.

hmmm, maybe try this. www.blogger.com :p

Yeah, whatever, but hey, at least my post actually had content rather than just being a snippy sideswipe.

Really, there is no need to put Tense dramatic music with occasional softer overtones leading into a cataclysm of trumpets and timpani every five fucking minutes.

According to Murray Bloody Gold and his score for the new series of Doctor Who, yes, it is absochristinglutely necessary to do so.

You know that thing they used to do in ancient Greece, the whole leaving the newborn out on the mountainside to be devoured by wolves? I'm starting to become more and more receptive to that idea in light of the last ten years of US film output. Of course, it all depends upon being able to identify potential film makers at an early age, and Oedipus kind of shows up the limitations of the system, but, hey, its worth a try.

Hey, all Oedipus showed was that you have to mean it and not be a pussy, making some shepherd do your dirty work; Laius could have taken his son up on the mountain and left him exposed himself.

Anyhoo, I thought there were some definite moments in Chronicles. There was a definite spartan quality that made Pitch Black engaging, and obviously Chronicles was made with a different aesthetic, but it nevertheless manifested parts of the story quite well. I do think that the initial invasion and battle of the necromongers was badly executed, too mottled and distracting.

Unlike others here, I felt that Judy Dench's elemental brought a grandness of scale to the storyline that otherwise would have felt shallow and transitory. Bringing this back to Oedipus, she plays the part of the priestess of Apollo paean essentially narrating the conclusion of the storyline. My Greek lit prof would have me wax philosophic about the role of prophecy in the Theban plays, but needless to say, Chronicles did manage to novelly execute the archetype of the prophesier within the storyline, and I am able to appreciate it for that quality among others.

That said, Pitch Black kicked @$$.