NationStates Jolt Archive

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah.


advice? (no I can't just go buy another cake mix, the store is closed and also, it's like $14 so I have to use the one I got, and no I don't wanna buy a 9 inch round to use just this once)

also, anyone got any other "duh" moments? preferably ones involving hilarious consequences (ones more entertaining than mine......like the time I accidentally used twice the amount of baking powder and my cake exploded?)

you should be able to just use the mix to make muffins.....probably......

I have forgotten to add the cake mix on TWO occasions. And of course, there's the lasagna incident...

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h153/IlieNS/photos%20of%20me/badcooking.jpg

Won't two 4.5" work?

(Oh, no, they won't. Area and squaring of things and that)

Um, I'd say you can bake it in whatever way, shape or form you want - as long as you adjust the baking time for the changed thickness of the dough.

I have forgotten to add the cake mix on TWO occasions. And of course, there's the lasagna incident...


Yup, that lasagna looks pretty dead...

I have forgotten to add the cake mix on TWO occasions. Wait... you forgot "to add the cake mix"? To add it to what??

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah.


advice? (no I can't just go buy another cake mix, the store is closed and also, it's like $14 so I have to use the one I got, and no I don't wanna buy a 9 inch round to use just this once)

also, anyone got any other "duh" moments? preferably ones involving hilarious consequences (ones more entertaining than mine......like the time I accidentally used twice the amount of baking powder and my cake exploded?)
Make the mini muffins. It works well...I know from experience.

Oh, speaking of cooking disasters, I was once cooking up a batch of potato soup, only this was my first time cooking it, so I somehow managed to add in something--I don't know what, though probably some kind of yeast--and the entire contents of the pot suddenly exploded out, covering half the kitchen. Everyone thought it was hilarious because it a lot of it ended up in my face and on my shirt. Luckily it had just started to cook or else it would've burned me.

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah.


advice? (no I can't just go buy another cake mix, the store is closed and also, it's like $14 so I have to use the one I got, and no I don't wanna buy a 9 inch round to use just this once)

also, anyone got any other "duh" moments? preferably ones involving hilarious consequences (ones more entertaining than mine......like the time I accidentally used twice the amount of baking powder and my cake exploded?)


You could destroy the space-time continuum!!! :eek:

:p

If you do it as cupcakes, you should probably bake it for slightly less time and at a slightly lower temperature(say 25 degrees less and 5 minutes less)

If you do it with a half sheet pan, increase the time slightly, but not the temperature. *nod*

The most amazing cooking disaster I ever witnessed was some kind of insane mutant spinach concoction involving irrational amounts of baking powder. I have no idea what the hell it was meant to be, but when you scooped out half of it, the other half instantly rose to fill the same volume as the whole. It was like the blob on steroids, only iron rich and disturbingly green.

I have forgotten to add the cake mix on TWO occasions. And of course, there's the lasagna incident...*snip image*
Add the cake mix to what?

And yes...that lasagna certainly looks destroyed. Nice picture of yourself, though. :)

I have forgotten to add the cake mix on TWO occasions. And of course, there's the lasagna incident...

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h153/IlieNS/photos%20of%20me/badcooking.jpg

Jesus Christ. I can safely say I have never burnt something that bad while cooking.

Then again, it's a good thing most Indian dishes just require the stove-top.

Edit: Mostly because I'm a little whiny beotch about getting things into and out of the oven. Chalk it up to a low tolerance for hot temperatures.

Since I don't do much cooking, here's the only thing I could think of:

I was cooking some ramen for lunch when some water spilled next to the boiling pot. I calmly grabbed a paper towel to dry the water when it caught on fire. I wasn't even surprised. I threw the still flaming towel in the trashcan without even thinking. It took me a few seconds to comprehend my complete stupidity. The trashcan was on fire and I was trying to put it out by scooping water with my hands from the sink to the trashcan, while completely impervious to the big bowls in the dishwasher, the fire extinguisher next to the refrigerator and the huge container of fresh drinking water. Nothing else burned though and my parents didn't find out, so it was all good.

Oh, speaking of cooking disasters, I was once cooking up a batch of potato soup, only this was my first time cooking it, so I somehow managed to add in something--I don't know what, though probably some kind of yeast--and the entire contents of the pot suddenly exploded out, covering half the kitchen. Everyone thought it was hilarious because it a lot of it ended up in my face and on my shirt. Luckily it had just started to cook or else it would've burned me.

The most amazing cooking disaster I ever witnessed was some kind of insane mutant spinach concoction involving irrational amounts of baking powder. I have no idea what the hell it was meant to be, but when you scooped out half of it, the other half instantly rose to fill the same volume as the whole. It was like the blob on steroids, only iron rich and disturbingly green.

Why is all your food exploding or growing? O.O *is scared*

Since I don't do much cooking, here's the only thing I could think of:

I was cooking some ramen for lunch when some water spilled next to the boiling pot. I calmly grabbed a paper towel to dry the water when it caught on fire. I wasn't even surprised. I threw the still flaming towel in the trashcan without even thinking. It took me a few seconds to comprehend my complete stupidity. The trashcan was on fire and I was trying to put it out by scooping water with my hands from the sink to the trashcan, while completely impervious to the big bowls in the dishwasher, the fire extinguisher next to the refrigerator and the huge container of fresh drinking water. Nothing else burned though and my parents didn't find out, so it was all good.:p

The worst cooking-related thing I've done to date was putting my hot pot on top of an unopened pack of tissues because I'd run out of space to put it and figured "This should make for an efficient potholder." Yeah....the design from the pack of tissues is still fused onto the bottom of the pot.

Why is all your food exploding or growing? O.O *is scared*

:p

I never told you about when I had to Hoover exploding dog food off the ceiling, did I?

Since I don't do much cooking, here's the only thing I could think of:

I was cooking some ramen for lunch when some water spilled next to the boiling pot. I calmly grabbed a paper towel to dry the water when it caught on fire. I wasn't even surprised. I threw the still flaming towel in the trashcan without even thinking. It took me a few seconds to comprehend my complete stupidity. The trashcan was on fire and I was trying to put it out by scooping water with my hands from the sink to the trashcan, while completely impervious to the big bowls in the dishwasher, the fire extinguisher next to the refrigerator and the huge container of fresh drinking water. Nothing else burned though and my parents didn't find out, so it was all good.
Where's that "Ha Ha!" picture when you need it...?

Protip: don't toss something on fire into the trash or you'll set the trash on fire.

Why is all your food exploding or growing? O.O *is scared*

:p
I still don't know what I mixed in there to get it to explode, but I did. Hell, for all I know I was pranked...my family were laughing pretty hard about the whole thing.

Where's that "Ha Ha!" picture when you need it...?
This one?

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w142/Blue_Pheasant/simpsons_nelson_haha2.jpg

Wait... you forgot "to add the cake mix"? To add it to what??

Um, you know. The other ingredients. Sugar, water, oil, whatever. I just put all that in the oven and baked it and noticed that it didn't look right, then somebody would walk by and say, "Why is the box of cake mix unopened?"

Add the cake mix to what?

And yes...that lasagna certainly looks destroyed. Nice picture of yourself, though. :)

Yeah, it shows off my shiny nose and the dark circles under my eyes. Have I ever complained about how much quality sleep I get? Cause the answer is Not Much.

This one?
*the correct image*
Yes, that one, thank you.

Since I don't do much cooking, here's the only thing I could think of:

I was cooking some ramen for lunch when some water spilled next to the boiling pot. I calmly grabbed a paper towel to dry the water when it caught on fire. I wasn't even surprised. I threw the still flaming towel in the trashcan without even thinking. It took me a few seconds to comprehend my complete stupidity. The trashcan was on fire and I was trying to put it out by scooping water with my hands from the sink to the trashcan, while completely impervious to the big bowls in the dishwasher, the fire extinguisher next to the refrigerator and the huge container of fresh drinking water. Nothing else burned though and my parents didn't find out, so it was all good.

Were you drunk? That's the only way I can comprehend that. ;)

The worst cooking-related thing I've done to date was putting my hot pot on top of an unopened pack of tissues because I'd run out of space to put it and figured "This should make for an efficient potholder." Yeah....the design from the pack of tissues is still fused onto the bottom of the pot.

You know, I wouldn't have thought that would be bad. Who says you don't learn anything on NSG?

Won't two 4.5" work?

Need we really descend to such levels of filth?

Yeah, it shows off my shiny nose and the dark circles under my eyes. Have I ever complained about how much quality sleep I get? Cause the answer is Not Much.

I'm serious. You look good in that picture.

But then I'm the kind of person who always thinks people look better when the pose--so to speak--in a picture is natural and they weren't really preparing for it, as opposed to those who might dress up or put on make-up or what have you, so I guess you should take my opinion with a grain of salt.

You know, I wouldn't have thought that would be bad. Who says you don't learn anything on NSG?

It's slowly coming off now that I'm using it on a gas range. The plastic sizzles and burns. Creeps me out sometimes.

Well... Lessee. I only cook on occassion, and I don't need spectacular incidents to make a massive mess. My dad. on the other hand, tells a wonderful story from his childhood:

My grandmother had just put the whole family on a diet, and she was experimenting with new, healthier foods. One night, she decided to make baked eggplant. She cut the eggplants in half, and placed them face down on the cooking tray. She then put them in the oven, set the timer, and went elsewhere.

10 minutes later, the house shook with a small boom, the oven door was blown open, and the whole kitchen was sprayed with little eggplant chunks. My father had to clean them off of the ceiling, where they had impacted, and fused themselves to the plaster.

Um, you know. The other ingredients. Sugar, water, oil, whatever. I just put all that in the oven and baked it and noticed that it didn't look right, then somebody would walk by and say, "Why is the box of cake mix unopened?"

:eek:

I'm serious. You look good in that picture.

But then I'm the kind of person who always thinks people look better when the pose--so to speak--in a picture is natural and they weren't really preparing for it, as opposed to those who might dress up or put on make-up or what have you, so I guess you should take my opinion with a grain of salt.

No, no, I intend to be flattered. <3 Too bad about the lasagna though. I followed the directions on the box perfectly, I thought...

Well... Lessee. I only cook on occassion, and I don't need spectacular incidents to make a massive mess. My dad. on the other hand, tells a wonderful story from his childhood:

My grandmother had just put the whole family on a diet, and she was experimenting with new, healthier foods. One night, she decided to make baked eggplant. She cut the eggplants in half, and placed them face down on the cooking tray. She then put them in the oven, set the timer, and went elsewhere.

10 minutes later, the house shook with a small boom, the oven door was blown open, and the whole kitchen was sprayed with little eggplant chunks. My father had to clean them off of the ceiling, where they had impacted, and fused themselves to the plaster.

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p this is the kind of story I was looking for!

also, about MrWho and the dishtowel, I could totally see that happening to me!

and Ilie I am sure you did follow the instructions, lasagna is often evil.

Were you drunk? That's the only way I can comprehend that. ;)

Nope, just being my usual self. It happens alot. Just like when I accidentally left my dad's keys in his trunk when he was late for work. Or when I was sitting in class, I tried to reach to the side for my backpack and I tipped my desk over, falling on the ground. Also, when I was little and I tried to be a firefighter by spraying a gallon of bug spray in my uncle's garage. I think it's awesome though because because it never becomes a complete disaster and I can laugh at it right away.

To the OP: cake mix is a wretched abomination and a mockery of all that is gustatorily wholesome, so this should serve you right. You will however be fine without the specific pan anyway.

I followed the directions on the box perfectly, I thought...

...Stand in a pot of cold water and shake vigorously etc. etc.

No, no, I intend to be flattered. <3 Too bad about the lasagna though. I followed the directions on the box perfectly, I thought...
Ah. Once again I prove my ability to misinterpret statements.

And as for the lasagna...accidents happen. You may have accidentely set the temperature too high, or forgot to take into account altitude when determining cooking time(it's happened to me before...I live at 8,000 feet and I used to mess things up all the time because I first learned how to cook at sea level) or any number of tiny mistakes that lead up to destroyed food.

All that matters is that no harm was done apart from the food and you learned from the experience.

I don't have any cooking catastrophes. :(

A friend of a friend was cutting up tomatoes for a salad when some pieces fell on the floor. She bent down to pick them up, forgot to move her right hand and stabbed herself in the belly with the cutting knife. :rolleyes: :p

Um, you know. The other ingredients. Sugar, water, oil, whatever. I just put all that in the oven and baked it and noticed that it didn't look right, then somebody would walk by and say, "Why is the box of cake mix unopened?"I was afraid you would say that. >.<

My grandmother had just put the whole family on a diet, and she was experimenting with new, healthier foods. One night, she decided to make baked eggplant. She cut the eggplants in half, and placed them face down on the cooking tray. She then put them in the oven, set the timer, and went elsewhere.

10 minutes later, the house shook with a small boom, the oven door was blown open, and the whole kitchen was sprayed with little eggplant chunks. My father had to clean them off of the ceiling, where they had impacted, and fused themselves to the plaster.

Omg! What did she do wrong??

I grabbed the edge of a cast iron frying pan while cooking hamburgers. Luckily, I clued in before it was burned.

Nope, just being my usual self. It happens alot. Just like when I accidentally left my dad's keys in his trunk when he was late for work. Or when I was sitting in class, I tried to reach to the side for my backpack and I tipped my desk over, falling on the ground. Also, when I was little and I tried to be a firefighter by spraying a gallon of bug spray in my uncle's garage. I think it's awesome though because because it never becomes a complete disaster and I can laugh at it right away.

Yeah, you are Awesome Story Man!

To the OP: cake mix is a wretched abomination and a mockery of all that is gustatorily wholesome, so this should serve you right. You will however be fine without the specific pan anyway.

Dude, cake from cake mix is great. Chill. :cool:

Bake an apple pie and put an American flag on top.

I don't know if it's the proper solution, but it should be!

just over cook a pie in the microwave thats all

Omg! What did she do wrong??

Put them face down. The pressure built up under them, and they exploded.

Dude, cake from cake mix is great. Chill. :cool:

He's Fass. I...I'm not quite sure he knows how.

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah.


advice? (no I can't just go buy another cake mix, the store is closed and also, it's like $14 so I have to use the one I got, and no I don't wanna buy a 9 inch round to use just this once)

also, anyone got any other "duh" moments? preferably ones involving hilarious consequences (ones more entertaining than mine......like the time I accidentally used twice the amount of baking powder and my cake exploded?)

I've got 2 cake stories I can share. There was the time my uncle and a friend tried to bake me a birthday cake when I was a kid. They greased and floured the pan (this was before PAM and non-stick pans), poured the cake mix in, put it in the oven, and took it out when it passed the toothpick test. The problem came when we cut the cake, though. It seems that my uncle and his friend forgot to dump out the excess flour, and left about 1/4" thick layer in the pan when they poured the batter. :eek:

The other story I have is when my sister was making a sheet cake (13x9 pan). She accidentally turned the oven to broil (I don't know why), and didn't notice. The cake came out fine, although it took about 1/2 the time to bake that it should've taken. :D

You can also use a square casarolle or baking dish if you have one just adjust for glass or ceramic instead of metal (Having to improvise is a must for the cook trying to make western style dishes in Japan).

As for cooking disaster... well, once I was asked by my mother to make the dinner for my family. She already had everything (or so she thought) and the recipie and all I had to do was follow it. The salmon steaks were going well until I got to the sauce for them. It called for a half a cup of chopped red bell peppers. I didn't have any red bell peppers and looking arround I decided that a half a cup of crushed red peppers would work instead.

My sister taste tested it and asked me if it was supposed to be that spicy. I tried it and ended up running to the sink for water.

I was told never to substitute again without asking.

The worst one though would be my step-grandmother. According to my step-father, when she would cook dinner for her family, she would read out of the cookbook. She also would liberally sample her scotch bottle at the same time and never really noticed that the wind would flip the pages randomly as she went step by step making about 5 or 6 different dishes into one monster.

My step-father STILL drowns his food in ketchup to eat it due to this.

Need we really descend to such levels of filth?

Well, I was just thinking that with all that cake mix, water, oil and pieces of burnt lasagna...

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah.


advice? (no I can't just go buy another cake mix, the store is closed and also, it's like $14 so I have to use the one I got, and no I don't wanna buy a 9 inch round to use just this once)

Divide the mix in two, make two smaller cakes. If you have only one tin, I guess the second one will have to wait ... don't add the liquid until you're ready to do the second.

I think you use a little more liquid for a smaller cake. It should cook quicker too, the only guide being the usual "insert a skewer, when it comes out dry the cake is cooked."

also, anyone got any other "duh" moments? preferably ones involving hilarious consequences (ones more entertaining than mine......like the time I accidentally used twice the amount of baking powder and my cake exploded?)

I cooked an almond cheesecake once, offered it up at a party. Everyone said how great it was, so I made a joke about how arsenic smells just like almond. Pieces of cake turned up everywhere -- pot plants, down the back of the sofa, in the sink. Disaster snatched from the jaws of victory :D

oh the tales...

the no fail frosting... that did... Twice...

the upsidedown cake that ended up inside out... With a hole in the middle.

the light and fluffy gravy... that ended up staining the ceiling...

the family's Lasagna story...

the smores fresh from the microwave...


but for me... it's the meatloaf...

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)

oh the tales...

the no fail frosting... that did... Twice...

the upsidedown cake that ended up inside out... With a hole in the middle.

the light and fluffy gravy... that ended up staining the ceiling...

the family's Lasagna story...

the smores fresh from the microwave...


but for me... it's the meatloaf...

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)

Umm...water?...I don't know, I don't eat much meatloaf.

oh the tales...

the no fail frosting... that did... Twice...

the upsidedown cake that ended up inside out... With a hole in the middle.

the light and fluffy gravy... that ended up staining the ceiling...

the family's Lasagna story...

the smores fresh from the microwave...


but for me... it's the meatloaf...

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)
A liberal helping of Vodka?

<snip>
Pixie dust?

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)
You forgot the tomato paste/ketchup (depending which one you use).

Why not make cupcakes?

"Chinese five spice" is not one of the spices used in Indian Chai. Bleck!

I once tried making a pie. I thought I could cheat with one of those pre-made pie crust things you see in the grocery store. So I brought one home, filled it with fruit and stuck it in the oven.

Nothing much happened. Well, the fruit went runny. The crust dried out, except for where it was submerged under all the runny fruit. It wasn't a pie so much as steaming hot fruit encased in a thin layer of brittle, semi-cooked dough.

I found out later on that there's more to it than that, so I lost interest and went back to simply eating pies rather than trying to make them.

*snip*

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)

Cooking?

okay, stupid me bought a cake mix without really reading the instructions and apparently it wants a 9 inch round and I don't have one (that's a type of pan if you are confused) anyway, I gotta gotta bake this cake, don't have the pan.....how bad would it be if I baked the cake as mini-muffins? I mean that's the only other pan I got other than pans designed for a half sheet cake......yeah. You could make minimuffins out of them, but bare in mind they would need to cook less long; otherwise they'll be dry. If you have oven-proof (cooking) pans, you can consider using one of those (although getting the cake out may be a hassle). In the same vein, you can pretty much bake the cake in pretty much anything that'll tolerate being in the oven. If you have baking parchment, you can make a form out of it and use that. Baking times may vary greatly though.

Cake mix also makes delicious pancakes, which we once discovered when my sister added a liter of milk instead of a deciliter (which is a tenth as much for those not familiar with metric system).

oh the tales...

the no fail frosting... that did... Twice...

the upsidedown cake that ended up inside out... With a hole in the middle.

the light and fluffy gravy... that ended up staining the ceiling...

the family's Lasagna story...

the smores fresh from the microwave...


but for me... it's the meatloaf...

I made meatloaf and wondered why it was so dry and... crunchy.
so I reviewed the ingrediants...

hamburger... of course.
vegges... check...
Bread... used stove top stuffing... so check...
chili mix.... check..

yep everything necessary was there...

(cookie to the first person who can guess what I forgot!)

I'm going with eggs, as they seem to be the only ingredient you didn't mention. However, usually eggs are used to "hold" the meatloaf together, not add moisture to it. But meh.

As for me, I *accidentally* braised some meatballs for 10 minutes once.

The bastards were so hard you could knock someone out with one.

You know how when you make cookies, sometimes they tell you to combine the dry ingrediants (usually salt, flour, and maybe some baking soda or something) in a seperate bowl, and then later to add that to the egg and whatever else is in the dough? Well, once I forgot to pour in the dry ingrediants. My oatmeal cookies weren't really cookies any more.

Also, there was the time I burnt water. Well, I left water on the stove top to boil. I got distracted. When I returned the water was all gone (evaporated) and the bottom of the pan was completely burnt.

Then there was the time in the summer when my brother saw a pitcher of pink water stanging next to the sink. Thinking it was KoolAid, he poured himself a glass, only to realize someone was soaking the pitcher in soapy water.

I'm going with eggs, as they seem to be the only ingredient you didn't mention. However, usually eggs are used to "hold" the meatloaf together, not add moisture to it. But meh.

As for me, I *accidentally* braised some meatballs for 10 minutes once.

The bastards were so hard you could knock someone out with one.

http://www.giftbaskets.com/giftbaskets/Assets/product_images/bg_mb_halmini.jpg

Have a Cookie. I didn't think eggs would add moisture, but they did. the meatloaf without the eggs were... extremly dry. Next batch I made was OK.

oh and as for meatballs, I accidentaly put some leftover ones in the fridge without covering it... and they were...

well...

tasty actually... Meatball jerky... hard and tough on the outside... but remarkably tender on the inside...

http://www.giftbaskets.com/giftbaskets/Assets/product_images/bg_mb_halmini.jpg

Have a Cookie. I didn't think eggs would add moisture, but they did. the meatloaf without the eggs were... extremly dry. Next batch I made was OK.

oh and as for meatballs, I accidentaly put some leftover ones in the fridge without covering it... and they were...

well...

tasty actually... Meatball jerky... hard and tough on the outside... but remarkably tender on the inside...

Holy shite, I won. I knew from your ingredients list you forgot eggs, but I didn't think it was the answer you were fishing for.

I left some meatballs sit on the counter for a couple days, by accident(I'm a lazy bastard, okay? Happy now? :D), and they were rank.

Didn't stop one of my roommates from eating one though...

And somehow managing *not* to get food poisoning. The guy has an iron gullet, I swear.

I don't have any cooking catastrophes. :(
That doesn't warrant a :( face. Silly goose!

Omg! What did she do wrong??
Hahaha, i <3 that you deleted the post after this just cuz u forgot your trademark lightbulb.


The worst one though would be my step-grandmother. According to my step-father, when she would cook dinner for her family, she would read out of the cookbook. She also would liberally sample her scotch bottle at the same time and never really noticed that the wind would flip the pages randomly as she went step by step making about 5 or 6 different dishes into one monster.

My step-father STILL drowns his food in ketchup to eat it due to this.
thanks for the laugh.


I found out later on that there's more to it than that, so I lost interest and went back to simply eating pies rather than trying to make them.
This is an excellent solution

There was the one time my sister wanted to make a dinner for my dad for fathers day. She was going to make a special kind of chicken. I want to say the spice was supposed to be cumin, but I'm not certain. She made the food, and we were surprised by how spicy it was. Instead of the 2 tablespoons of cumin (or whatever the reddish colored spice it was supposed to be), she'd put in 2 tablespoons of chilli powder. Yowzas.

Then there was the time for my brother's birthday. We were on vacation. We bought a cake mix. Made dinner. And then the gas cut out for some reason. The stove and oven stopped working. So instead of a cake, we put candle on top of the box. It was a good time.

I'm surprised it doesn't have instructions for several different types of pan, most cake mixes do. Is it gluten-free? Still, it should be easy to adapt. line the muffin tin with cupcake papers or spray with cooking spray and then dust with whatever you use in place of flour. You should probably use the same temperature, but you'll have to check more frequently for doneness since the cupcakes are smaller than a regular cake.

Do you have square pans that are the same size as the require round ones? Could you use a 9x13 rectangular pan or a bundt pan. All that would really be needed, I should think, would be an adjustment to the cooking time - meaning you'd have to monitor it closely.

There was a time my brother rolled into town and thought he'd repay the favour of letting him crash on our couch by cooking us some dinner. He made chicken casserole, but ran into some trouble along the way. We keep all of our condiments refrigerated, including the ones we mostly cook with, like worcestershire sauce. He looked into our spice cupboard and saw a tall-necked bottle with a black cap, reached in and removed it and just as he was noticing the label which read 'rosewater', had already poured about a half a cup of rosewater into the casserole.

I had never before tasted anything quite like it; I truly hope I never do again.

In his defence, he said he wouldn't have added quite so much if the bottle had had a flow control like the bottle he thought he'd found (the worcestershire).

The only subjects I failed at high school - sewing and cooking! I don't cook much.

It's hilarious how many supposed "disasters" are from excess chilli.

Such people really don't want to eat at my place. There is no such thing as too much chilli!

Ever had chilli ice-cream? 'tseasy: half melt some icecream (vanilla is good), mash in dried chilli, fresh chilli, chilli oil, and anything else you like (cinnamon or powdered ginger for instance) then re-freeze. You'll eat the whole tub!

I, of course am an excellent cook, I grow all my own ingredients, including the trees for the boxes they come in....

:rolleyes:

*snip*
I had never before tasted anything quite like it; I truly hope I never do again.

Rosewater and chicken could work:

Flesh of 1 Chicken, 1/2 cup Rosewater, 1 can Artichoke Hearts (drained), 1 lb small chats (or potato diced 2cm) or precooked white rice, 1 tablespoon tahine, 1 bay leaf, rosemary and a spoonful of lime juice. Salt to taste.

Bake until potato is cooked. Serve with white wine or beer.

EDIT: Carisbrooke's post must be a reply to someone else's. Or the rolleyes would make no sense.

(re: Smunkee's lack of tin)
Do you have square pans that are the same size as the require round ones? Could you use a 9x13 rectangular pan or a bundt pan. All that would really be needed, I should think, would be an adjustment to the cooking time - meaning you'd have to monitor it closely.

9" round is very, very close to 8" square. Within half a square inch, shouldn't be enough to cause major upset.

/me looks at Ilie's lasagne
Ah, I think I know what went wrong there. It's an electric oven. I've done something similar (but not quite so thorough, the cheese on top was just a bit, um, crispy)... Cook it on the very, very bottom shelf, maybe cover it for some of the time; the direct heat from the elements... Well, you've seen :)

Worst cooking mishap I've had was following a "quick and easy fish-cake" recipe off of a Smash tube. It wound up this foot-diameter, three-inch-thick disk of stodge, because the recipe was so broken that it really, really didn't make a mix that you could shape into, well, anything other than a ruddy great blob (after I'd added a lot of extra flour to try and dry it out). Ah well. It was edible. With enough ketchup and other sauce to give it some flavour...

The cake is probably baked, or cupcaked or outsauced or something by now, but CD's post puts me in mind of something a friend does for souffle.

Tear a length of aluminium foil long enough to go one-and-a-half times around the cake tin you have already. Fold one edge (which will be the top edge) over to make that edge stronger, then wrap it around the tin so it stands up a few inches above the top. Wrap ovenproof string around it (more than two hands is good) and tie. Crimp the foil together a bit to stop the top opening up. Pour the cake mix in; being thick the mix will not run down between the foil and the outside of the tin too badly: the string stops that.

You have a deep narrow cake. A bit iffy, but hey, it works for souffle.

I still say make two cakes, one after the other in the same tin. Then you can make a layer cake: put one cake on top of the other with icing or some other tasty mix between them.

In my first attempt to make a pie living on my own, let's just say I messed up pretty big though I didn't burn anything, I don't think the results were good.

The one amusing part is that the stupid thing actually LOOKED delicious.

I was trying to make a pie with graham crust. I had never done it before and the stupid recipe I was following didn't mention that I should bake the crust before hand. So silly me, I press the crumbs into a standard 9" pie plate and put it on the counter and go to make the guts, which involved using Jello, whip cream and other ingredients.

The recipe called for "lime zest", which mean a very tiny portion of the rind inserted in. I didn't know what it meant by "zest" so I didn't cut the pieces very small before I mixed them in.

I let the mixture stand for a while before I poured it into the "crust".

I let chill and decorated it with pieces of thinly sliced limes.

It looked pretty but when I went to serve it, the crust was in a million pieces (dusty pieces!) and the guts kinda tasted like rinds.

The second version I made tasted better but I had burnt the crust slightly and poured the guts in too soon so my crust wasn't very crusty but at least it didn't taste like crap...

Don't believe what other people say, your crap cooking always tastes better than others' crap cooking.

At least you know what it was meant to taste like. They can only guess :p

EDIT: Salman Rushdie now on my to-read list. "The ground beneath her feet" not the SD. To write is to think, don't waste the power of it.

The first time I cooked with garlic I though that "clove" meant the entire bulb.

I also once had a housemate who burned a boiled egg.

Ah. Here we go. One day, about a month ago, I decided that I very much wanted to make green Chili. Now, as many of you may know, green Chilli stew is mostly green chile peppers with some chicken broth to act as a carrier.

My father, being, well, not given to accepting the constraints of recipes (the man learned to cook by theory, rather than by recipe, and so, like me, he never makes the same meal twice), brought home about a 1/4 of the chiles I needed. He said I could just cover the rest by adding extra broth.

So I make it, following his suggestions. What results is this watery, weak stuff with peppers floating in it. Not what I was going for at all. I was only able to rescue it by getting the Catsup bottle out and making a hybrid of my mother's chili and the origional recipe.

However, I wasnt happy with it, since I had wanted some real zest. So... I go into the cabinet and pull out the Garlic-Chile stuff that my father keeps for Stir-Fries and put 3 tablespoons in. None of the rest of the family would eat it without 5 spoonfulls of rice for every spoonfull of Chili. I ate it on a 1-to-1 proportion, and was offended that they didn't love my wonderfully spicy Chili.

In my defense, there is nothing too hot for me to eat. I regularly order the hottest food that local Teriyaki places carry (and, locally, Teriyaki places are where you go when you want very spicy food), and then add Chile sauce to it. To me, the stuff tasted normal.