NationStates Jolt Archive

So, as I was getting lynched on Ifreann's mafia forums and nuking Zilam on MSN Messenger, I became aware of another situation in RL. (I am starting an anecdote, but not blogging, kthxbai). You see, (and quite a few others have already seen on MSN... sorry... i'll stop with the parenthises now) I've had some issues in RL, that I do NOT feel comfortable talking about in RL (because I don't feel comfortable talkign about, well, anything in RL... i know, i know, i said i'd stop using parenthises), so I ask the people on the internet. [/posible blogginess]

Other people do this too. So I've been wondering... why do we ask strangers on the internets for advice, when we know that there are friends and relatives that we can ask in RL too? I mean... we talk about the most personal things on here (and by "here" I mean all of the internet, not just NSG)-- from medical concerns to sex to religious doubts, that we would never talk about in RL (and if we did we'd feel extremely uncomfortable... amirite?). We feel comfortable asking strangers on the internet, but we would NEVER ask strangers in RL.

So, I ask you guys... why do we breathe so much easier asking strangers for advice than we do our closest friends? Why do we ask strangers on the internet and not strangers in RL? Isn't that the exact same thing?

So, as I was getting lynched on Ifreann's mafia forums and nuking Zilam on MSN Messenger, I became aware of another situation in RL. (I am starting an anecdote, but not blogging, kthxbai). You see, (and quite a few others have already seen on MSN... sorry... i'll stop with the parenthises now) I've had some issues in RL, that I do NOT feel comfortable talking about in RL (because I don't feel comfortable talkign about, well, anything in RL... i know, i know, i said i'd stop using parenthises), so I ask the people on the internet. [/posible blogginess]

Other people do this too. So I've been wondering... why do we ask strangers on the internets for advice, when we know that there are friends and relatives that we can ask in RL too? I mean... we talk about the most personal things on here (and by "here" I mean all of the internet, not just NSG)-- from medical concerns to sex to religious doubts, that we would never talk about in RL (and if we did we'd feel extremely uncomfortable... amirite?). We feel comfortable asking strangers on the internet, but we would NEVER ask strangers in RL.

So, I ask you guys... why do we breathe so much easier asking strangers for advice than we do our closest friends? Why do we ask strangers on the internet and not strangers in RL? Isn't that the exact same thing?

beacause intertubers are almost guaranteed to be impartial if they reply at all. also strangers can't seek you out the next day to ask you how shit is goingwhen you just need to bee with yourself.

I'm much more open talking about...everything except the Israel/Palestine conflict in RL then on the internet.

Speaking of which, what's wrong, Pancake?

I use the internet as my playground to say stuff I couldn't say IRL, so I can't really say I'm any more likely to be helpful to people online. In fact, asking me for advice on any site other than NS would probably be a disaster, since I use this forum to discuss things that can't be discussed seriously on other sites.

I'm much more open talking about...everything except the Israel/Palestine conflict in RL then on the internet.

Speaking of which, what's wrong, Pancake?

Nothing's wrong, it's jsut some issues. And notice that I haven't talked about them on NSG, but on MSN.

IF you want to knwo what's up, you don't want to know who you should ask... >.>

For me I do so largely because it affords me an impartial, unconnected opinion of someone whose opinion I can also easily discard without offending someone I have to interact with on a daily basis.

It's also generally harder to talk to someone about something if it affects them as well, since it's kind of difficult for either of you to really detatch yourselves and give it some genuine thought.

I use the internet as my playground to say stuff I couldn't say IRL, so I can't really say I'm any more likely to be helpful to people online. In fact, asking me for advice on any site other than NS would probably be a disaster, since I use this forum to discuss things that can't be discussed seriously on other sites.

As do I. Though I don't discuss, ahem, "other" medical concerns here on NSG, nor do I discuss them in real life (I go to another forum that is, unfortunately, completely unmoderated). Nor can I discuss dating on here (I don't feel comfortable... sorry guys), but I do on MSN.

On teh internets no one knows who you really are...

IF you want to knwo what's up, you don't want to know who you should ask... >.>

Umm...was this part of the post that came immediately after you spilled military-grade Pepsi on your keyboard? Because it looks like some kind of Zen saying to me...Either that or total gibberish.

On teh internets no one knows who you really are...

Aye.

All the guys are guys
All the girls are guys
All the kids are cops! :eek:

anonymity and power. You're in much larger control, if you don't want be bothered about it any more you can prevent it, unlike RL where depending on who you tell may impact their actions and they might intefere, or they might bother you about it. On the internet you can generally avoid that.

Aye.

All the guys are guys
All the girls are guys
All the kids are cops! :eek:

:eek: What sites have you been frequenting Deus? :confused:

I think I'm afraid to ask....

:eek: What sites have you been frequenting Deus? :confused:

I think I'm afraid to ask....

I recall someone on here saying that in a thread a while back.

...stop looking at me like that.

the problem with the RL people around me is they all have irons in the fire so any advice will be biased.....and besides they are all going to say what they think I want to hear anyway, except for hubby who basically says what I don't want to hear......and anyway, I come online and whine about him. I mean he is my best friend and who can I talk to when I am mad at him? nobody.....except him, which has proved interesting before

"hey honey, I am pissed at you can you be the "friend" right now and let me vent and then be the person I am pissed at later?"

"yeah"

it seems to work out that way most of the time.....I think my husband is perfect. (except when I am mad at him, then he is evil.)

:eek: What sites have you been frequenting Deus? :confused:

I think I'm afraid to ask....

:eek:

Does tht make me a cop when I didn't know it!?!? :eek: It's just liek the Spam Brigade!

Aye.

All the guys are guys
All the girls are guys
All the kids are cops! :eek:

So I'm a cop AND a guy!?!?!? :eek:

the problem with the RL people around me is they all have irons in the fire so any advice will be biased.....
As opposed to your fellow Internet-users, who offer their insanity and anonymous malice in a completely even-handed manner?

So I'm a cop AND a guy!?!?!? :eek:

I guess so.....IMPOSTER!!

the problem with the RL people around me is they all have irons in the fire so any advice will be biased.....and besides they are all going to say what they think I want to hear anyway, except for hubby who basically says what I don't want to hear......and anyway, I come online and whine about him. I mean he is my best friend and who can I talk to when I am mad at him? nobody.....except him, which has proved interesting before

"hey honey, I am pissed at you can you be the "friend" right now and let me vent and then be the person I am pissed at later?"

"yeah"

it seems to work out that way most of the time.....I think my husband is perfect. (except when I am mad at him, then he is evil.)

What makes your husband evil when you are mad at him? I mean other than you being mad at him :confused:

Aye.

All the guys are guys
All the girls are guys
All the kids are cops! :eek:

IMO that is a safe assumption; if you're a straight guy "chatting" with what you think is a girl on the Internet, it's probably a guy, because Murphy's Law wouldn't have it any other way! And the so-called kids are cops more often than not because:

1. The cops are trying to catch internet pedophiles
2. Responsible parents don't just let their kids "chat" with whomever on the Internet, at least not if they can help it

IMO that is a safe assumption; if you're a straight guy "chatting" with what you think is a girl on the Internet, it's probably a guy, because Murphy's Law wouldn't have it any other way! And the so-called kids are cops more often than not because:

1. The cops are trying to catch internet pedophiles
2. Responsible parents don't just let their kids "chat" with whomever on the Internet, at least not if they can help it

I never said it was a bad thing, just making an amusing "observation".

I guess so.....IMPOSTER!!

I didn't even know! :(

It's just like the Spam Brigade! It's so secret that its own members don't realize they're a part of it!

On teh internets no one knows who you really are...

Quite true.

http://www.dreambreeze.com/Pages/Funnies/Internet_dogs.gif

Well, I don't know that I've ever asked for advice on the internet, but there are certainly some topics I feel much more comfortable discussing when I am anonymous - my assault, for example, or the abuse I went through as a child. Most of my friends know little or nothing about these events, because I don't want them to be part of their perceptions of me. I want to be seen as myself, not a victim to be pitied, but I can safely risk becoming That Chick Whose Ex Hit Her or That Woman With Depression to the residents of NSG because, well, when it comes right down to it, I don't really care very much whether or not you all like or respect me for me. No offense intended. :)

i'm on the internet right now because i drank too mucha nd i'm now feeling slightly lonely. and there are like thrity million people on the internet, so they should be talking to me. but they're not.


I think it's like the veil of anonymity thing. like we like for people not to know who we are, so we don't have to feel embarassed about like loving some creepo guy who thinks you're an okay person, but who is like sleeping with various different girls/guys and will probably never have the capactiy to see you as a girlfriend-type person. jeez louise. but then youre always like secretly scared that he like has an nsg account and knows, but if he knows that makes him an awful perosn, because he's gotta know what he deos everytime you see him, right? and then you wnat to stop seeing him, because then you can get over him, and for a while he leaves you alone, and you're feeling like you could move on and then WHAM he talks to you again, adn you're like "fuck, i love you." and then when youre sufficiently liquored up, you can just go online and tell all these people and it doesnt matter becuase even if they judge you, it wont affect you, 'cause you'll never see them in real life.


duuuuuuude, did you ever just wish that you could like stay permanantly drunk because you get so low when you sober up? nah, that's a dumb idea. i'm just so miserable.

Just my opinion,
If I ask the members of (for example) NSG and I don't like thier advice I can ignore it and they will be none the wiser (unless I tell them).

If I screw up they don't really know me, therefore I don't have to live it down. And if have screwed up bad enough that I can't face them then it is easy to go away.

I can always see what the true reaction/opinion is as it is right there for all to see, and since the people giving said reaction/opinion/advice are anonymous.

You will get a more true reaction than you would with a friend. The friend will pull punches to help "protect" you (your feelings). Here (the "internets") there is no reason to.

*shrug* The stupid things you do fade. Oh, sure, they're on a database somewhere, but things are forgotten on the internet. Everyone starts out noob-y, you get some lee-way for behavior...

my friends have the intelligence of a rake or maybe a small crustacean plus I've manage to learn that if an internet thread says somethings its usually true :p

I wish I had something to make a thread on now, curse my good judgment and stable life!!!! :mad:

Whenever I come to NSG for advice it's mostly because of the wide range of ages, nationalities, professions - basically, life experience and opinions. Whether they're biased or not varies on the poster, but peoples all respond differently and give a lot of different viewpoints on an issue.

I don't keep up on any other boards, I don't have the time for that.

The other part has been mentioned, that the issue fades. If you talk about it with your parents, friends, workmates or spouse it comes up time and time again.

A sense of anonymity, detached from RL, impartial to a certain extent, and writing gives time to really think about what you are going to say or not, actually speaking tends to mean I screw up what I'm trying to say. If I want to tell someone something important, I'll prefer to write a letter or have a long msn conversation.

What makes your husband evil when you are mad at him? I mean other than you being mad at him :confused:

nothing other than my perception of him. actually most of the time I am mad at him, I am really mad at myself and taking it out on him.

I think it would have something to do witht he whole anonymous issie sometimes. Other times its easier to type these things rather than talk directly about them. But I havn't noticed it happening to me on the internet any more often than anywhere else. People are always asking my advice on things (and then promptly disregarding it for the most part.) I had a freind call me and ask me about what to do when she was caught having 'play time' with her boyfreind...

Aye.

All the guys are guys
All the girls are guys
All the kids are cops! :eek:

You forgot: All the cops are kids.

People ask for advice on the interwebs because we contain all of humanity's wisdom in an easily searchable format :)

People ask for advice on the interwebs because we contain all of humanity's wisdom in an easily searchable format :)

Well if you count porn as wisdom almost everyone that uses the tubes are wise beyond their years.

Well if you count porn as wisdom almost everyone that uses the tubes are wise beyond their years.

What is porn if not wisdom?

What is porn if not wisdom?

Spending 150% of my income all of the time by using a credit card I got in the mail is a good idea!

Spending 150% of my income all of the time by using a credit card I got in the mail is a good idea!

Absolutely.

*inchoadherence*

Other people do this too. So I've been wondering... why do we ask strangers on the internets for advice, when we know that there are friends and relatives that we can ask in RL too?
Because we can ignore their advice without them taking offence. :-|

I mean... we talk about the most personal things on here (and by "here" I mean all of the internet, not just NSG)-- from medical concerns to sex to religious doubts, that we would never talk about in RL (and if we did we'd feel extremely uncomfortable... amirite?). We feel comfortable asking strangers on the internet, but we would NEVER ask strangers in RL.

So, I ask you guys... why do we breathe so much easier asking strangers for advice than we do our closest friends? Why do we ask strangers on the internet and not strangers in RL? Isn't that the exact same thing?


I ask advice from total strangers IRL. You should try it, it brightens someone's day. "I'm a trustworthy and decent person, it shows even to strangers" they think.
On NSG, in a thread like this, you are just asking. Whoever chooses to answer, it's not like you put anyone on the spot for advice.
This thread is bound for "chat" anyway. You can pretend it never happened.


No prob. Glad to help :D

So, as I was getting lynched on Ifreann's mafia forums and nuking Zilam on MSN Messenger, I became aware of another situation in RL. (I am starting an anecdote, but not blogging, kthxbai). You see, (and quite a few others have already seen on MSN... sorry... i'll stop with the parenthises now) I've had some issues in RL, that I do NOT feel comfortable talking about in RL (because I don't feel comfortable talkign about, well, anything in RL... i know, i know, i said i'd stop using parenthises), so I ask the people on the internet. [/posible blogginess]

Other people do this too. So I've been wondering... why do we ask strangers on the internets for advice, when we know that there are friends and relatives that we can ask in RL too? I mean... we talk about the most personal things on here (and by "here" I mean all of the internet, not just NSG)-- from medical concerns to sex to religious doubts, that we would never talk about in RL (and if we did we'd feel extremely uncomfortable... amirite?). We feel comfortable asking strangers on the internet, but we would NEVER ask strangers in RL.

So, I ask you guys... why do we breathe so much easier asking strangers for advice than we do our closest friends? Why do we ask strangers on the internet and not strangers in RL? Isn't that the exact same thing?
People don't actually do it for the opinions that is a horrible misconception at the best of times, now at the worst of times it is just to hear ones inner voice talk.
No one cares of others opinions, they just want to think that hte pretend that they are wanted and that someone may or ma not care about them or their feelings.

That and for the +1.

What is porn if not wisdom?
Morally corupting?[/preaching]

Well if you count porn as wisdom almost everyone that uses the tubes are wise beyond their years.

In Soviet Russia, porn watches YOU! :eek:

We ask for advice when we want to share the responsibility in our own minds for a decision we have already made. We couch our questions in terms which beg the answer. The answer we want to hear.
We may not say "I'm doing this because Bungeemaster and The Goop advised me to" but in our minds it absolves us of some of the responsibility.

If I understand this correctly: the opinions never matter. To ask for advice when you don't know what else to do, is ok.



This is easily refuted. I care for others' opinions. One voice breaks your "no one" without even a seconder.

It is proper and understandable that people back away from making others' decisions for them: one's own are burden enough.

Do people really ask others' advice for no reason other than to "have their problems heard without whinging"?

I say no. We ask for advice when we want to share the responsibility in our own minds for a decision we have already made. We couch our questions in terms which beg the answer. The answer we want to hear.
We may not say "I'm doing this because Bungeemaster and The Goop advised me to" but in our minds it absolves us of some of the responsibility.



That should have a smilie after it. Otherwise it's bloody rude.
Apart from your some such talk...
What type of smilie and why?

Apart from your some such talk...
What type of smilie and why?

To describe another's post as "done for no reason than to increase the postcount" is to call them a spammer.

I dunno, it's up to DN to say whether that's funny or rude. If that's the only bit of my post you bothered to read, I'm happy to retract it.

So, as I was getting lynched on Ifreann's mafia forums and nuking Zilam on MSN Messenger, I became aware of another situation in RL. (I am starting an anecdote, but not blogging, kthxbai). You see, (and quite a few others have already seen on MSN... sorry... i'll stop with the parenthises now) I've had some issues in RL, that I do NOT feel comfortable talking about in RL (because I don't feel comfortable talkign about, well, anything in RL... i know, i know, i said i'd stop using parenthises), so I ask the people on the internet. [/posible blogginess]

Other people do this too. So I've been wondering... why do we ask strangers on the internets for advice, when we know that there are friends and relatives that we can ask in RL too? I mean... we talk about the most personal things on here (and by "here" I mean all of the internet, not just NSG)-- from medical concerns to sex to religious doubts, that we would never talk about in RL (and if we did we'd feel extremely uncomfortable... amirite?). We feel comfortable asking strangers on the internet, but we would NEVER ask strangers in RL.

So, I ask you guys... why do we breathe so much easier asking strangers for advice than we do our closest friends? Why do we ask strangers on the internet and not strangers in RL? Isn't that the exact same thing?


Well, I don't. I better ask RL people.

and because of this: picture

Well, I don't. I better ask RL people.

and because of this: picture

Nope. Thumbnail. Try again.

BTW, what witty nerd invented the word "thumbnail?"
A nail is something you hit with a hammer. So what's a "thumbnail"? :D

it makes me laugh this RL thing...you are talking...you are there...someone else is replying...they are there too...what constitutes real life? just because its over a keyboard doesn't make it any less real...im exactly the same in real life as I am on a computer...granted...alot of people lie about everything on the net but im not one of them...as for the question

I think its the anonymity of it all...call it a digital confession box where you can bare your soul with no repercussions...friends and family have too much baggage...and you dont want to trouble them with your problems...so a stranger is the obvious choice...they may not like what you say...but hey...who cares...you dont know them really

im exactly the same in real life as I am on a computer...granted...alot of people lie about everything on the net but im not one of them...

Ah, but that's just what a liar would say.

Ah, but that's just what a liar would say.

true...but it could be a double bluff ;)

true...but it could be a double bluff ;)

Or perhaps that's just what you want us to think!

Or perhaps that's just what you want us to think!

I tell the truth...at least my version of a lie...or am I really lying and telling the truth that I dont tell the truth... therefore making me a liar

I tell the truth...at least my version of a lie...or am I really lying and telling the truth that I dont tell the truth... therefore making me a liar

Everytime you think too hard about the liar paradox, God punches Baby Jesus in the face.

Everytime you think too hard about the liar paradox, God punches Baby Jesus in the face.

Im a philosopher...he can take a sledgehammer to baby fantasy story all that imaginary character likes ;)