NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings Forum-goers!

Last week's answer:

The man just had an operation to cure his blindness. The train was going through a tunnel when he decided to take off his blindfold to see if it had worked; he didn't see anything, thought it had failed, and killed himself.

Results:

Correct Answer: Hamilay

Most Imaginative Answer: Alexandrian Ptolemais

Cleverest Answer which probably SHOULD have been the right one: Bazalonia

Today's Puzzle:

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)

What he had thought was a window was actually a mirror, and seeing his early morning visage, mistook it for Bigfoot. He promptly retrieved a camera and shot himself, then uploaded the pictures to the internet.

He saw the approaching zombie horde and chose to die rather than become a zombie.



Also, there are a vast number of things which a man could see out the window which would drive him to shoot himself, guessing which one it is in this case requires luck, not higher thinking.

He saw Longcat vs Tacgnol and knew it was the end of the world. Rather than living through the agony that their battle would cause, he killed himself.

He was a climate change specialist on location in the high Arctic tundra. Outside the window, where previously were glaciers and snow, now is a fine summer's day.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)if we know the answer but refrain from posting it, how would you know who won?

He 's waking up from a coma, and because it was winter when he had gone into the coma he now realizes that he slept for several months.

Ehhhhhh..... except that that's not quite bad enough to shoot yourself over, is it?

Okay, so not only did he go into the coma in winter, but it was also the winter of, uh, 1963. And what he sees out of his window now is not only a beautiful summer morning but also a big billboard across the road saying "Go visit Nationstates.net, the most successful site of 2007!".

*nods*

I feel like I should know the answers already. We used to read and try to solve these in Psychology.

I feel like I should know the answers already. We used to read and try to solve these in Psychology.

I know... I heard this one and I remember the scenario... but the answer excapes me. :headbang:

Tubgirl and Goatse were putting on a show on his front lawn.

Tubgirl and Goatse were putting on a show on his front lawn.

*shoots self*

*shoots self*

Proof.

Greetings Forum-goers!

Last week's answer:

The man just had an operation to cure his blindness. The train was going through a tunnel when he decided to take off his blindfold to see if it had worked; he didn't see anything, thought it had failed, and killed himself.

Results:

Correct Answer: Hamilay

Most Imaginative Answer: Alexandrian Ptolemais

Cleverest Answer which probably SHOULD have been the right one: Bazalonia

Today's Puzzle:

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)
The guy from the lighthouse was on the other side, staring into his house, holding a cheese grater.

Proof.

*is dead*

*is dead*

haha I meant you proved that's why he killed himself. Not like prove you shot yourself.

if we know the answer but refrain from posting it, how would you know who won?

Well, the idea is that you don't know at first, but through 'higher thought' you work it out, thus honestly posting the obvious answer.

By the way everyone...there IS an intuitive answer. Look in the question...:confused:

He meant to shoot an elk, but missed and the bullet circled the Earth and hit him in the back of the head.

He meant to shoot an elk, but missed and the bullet circled the Earth and hit him in the back of the head.:)


By the way everyone...there IS an intuitive answer. Look in the question...:confused:He just really didn't like summer?

By the way everyone...there IS an intuitive answer. Look in the question...:confused:

Silliness about tubgirl and zambahz is more fun that deep thought.

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

He was really susceptible to UV skin damage, but also incredibly narcissistic. When he realised he'd set his alarm clock to 10 am instead of pm, and seriously disfigured himself by exposure to sunlight, he didn't want to live any more.

By the way everyone...there IS an intuitive answer. Look in the question...:confused:

My answer was the first thing that came to my mind, that's intuitive, right?

*Snip*
You know, for all us lazy people... Can't you please link to the posts that will be called "Most Imaginative Answer" etc. in the OP in the future? Pretty please? You make me curious :)

Oh, and for the question:

He saw himself outside, and in horror shot the person outside that resembled him.

It's an as good an answer as any :p

Today's Puzzle:

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)

Well, it's nice to know you're keeping this stuff up, even if it always confuses the hell out of me.

Um...lesse...

I know! He tried to commit suicide the previous evening, but failed and awoke in a hospital bed. He was horrified because he failed, so he shot himself...as in injected himself with some drugs from the hospital. Or with a gun nearby...that part still confuses me.

Oh, and for the question:

He saw himself outside, and in horror shot the person outside that resembled him.

It's an as good an answer as any :p

He shot his evil twin!

I know! He tried to commit suicide the previous evening, but failed and awoke in a hospital bed. He was horrified because he failed, so he shot himself...as in injected himself with some drugs from the hospital. Or with a gun nearby...that part still confuses me.

That's probably it, I reckon.

He shot his evil twin!

You're stalking me, aren't you! 0.o

Well, it's nice to know you're keeping this stuff up, even if it always confuses the hell out of me.

Um...lesse...

I know! He tried to commit suicide the previous evening, but failed and awoke in a hospital bed. He was horrified because he failed, so he shot himself...as in injected himself with some drugs from the hospital. Or with a gun nearby...that part still confuses me.

There was a cop guarding him(to make sure he didn't try to kill himself again) who fell asleep. He grabbed the cop's gun and ka-pow!

Silliness about tubgirl and zambahz is more fun that deep thought.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

There was a cop guarding him(to make sure he didn't try to kill himself again) who fell asleep. He grabbed the cop's gun and ka-pow!

That works and makes a lot of sense.

Silliness about tubgirl and zambahz is more fun that deep thought.

Deep Thought created the Earth though, that's worth something.

That works and makes a lot of sense.

I can has win?

You're stalking me, aren't you! 0.o

*whistles innocently*

Nah it just sprung to mind when I read that.

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?


Why ask why, when you can just assume. :D

But ok! How about this:

The night before he had placed a loaded gun on a stand near the window. (Maybe he wanted to go snipe hunting in the morning) Anyway! He flung open the window forgetting about the gun, then realizing a split second later that it was to late the force with which he had swung open the window upon hitting the stand with which the gun was rested on was enough to set it off oh nooooooooooooooo.

And then he lived happly ever after.

The End.

I can has win?

i maed u a win

but i eated it :(

The man, awakening from a horrifying dream about leaping out a train on the assumption that he was blind, was terrified to a see a lighthouse in the middle distance with the lights out.
Realizing that he was a mere fabrication in another's mind, fated to live out a short, miserable existence of obscure deaths and abrupt resurrections at the whims of a sadistic higher thinker, he whipped out his pistol and shoved it into his mouth. Just before pulling the trigger and sending a slurry of red life and grey matter across the opposite wall, he prayed that the darkness would hold him forever this time.

I can has win?

Sure. But I get visitation rights on weekends and Wednesdays.

Sure. But I get visitation rights on weekends and Wednesdays.

Deal.

I know! He tried to commit suicide the previous evening, but failed and awoke in a hospital bed. He was horrified because he failed, so he shot himself...as in injected himself with some drugs from the hospital. Or with a gun nearby...that part still confuses me.Don't worry about where he got the gun. These puzzles don't exactly put much emphasis on things like feasibility or making sense.

And your solution would seem reasonable. (Well, again, according to the standard of these puzzles :p)

The man was a crazy liberal who was continuously spouting ridiculous ideas about the detrimental effects of global warming. Realizing that the phenomenon could lead to a beautiful summer morning, he saw that he was wrong all along. Because he was so deeply ashamed and regretful that he believed such a preposterous theory, and rather than live in disgrace, he shot himself.

if we know the answer but refrain from posting it, how would you know who won?

I think he means don't answer if you've already heard the puzzle.

The man awoke, and, realizing that it was already morning, and he wasn't on drugs yet, shot up. Simple as that. :p

He's a vampire in a room with no blinds. Duh?

He's a vampire in a room with no blinds. Duh?

Wouldn't he just burst into flames?

Two years ago, the man was in a bar when he spotted the most gorgeous girl he'd ever met. Unfortunately, his best friend also saw her at the exact same moment. They both fell madly in love with her, and pretty well stalked her for a full year. On the anniversary of meeting her, they got together, both ready to confess a secret, only to realise that they were admiting to loving the same girl. They were unable to decide who should get the girl, so, being free-thinking kind of people, they decided to approach the girl and ask her whom she would prefer to be with. Now the man was a highly intelligent and deeply philosophical person, who had a tendancy to woo girls with his understanding of life's complexities. However, his best friend was a divinely sexy beast, with the kind of wild and Promethean beauty and musical prowress of Valentine Xavier. When the girl saw the two friends, she was instantly struck by the former's intelligence and the latter's beauty. Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it.
After about three months of her consentually seeing both men in a kind of f.ed up three-way trisexual relationship, the man decided to confront her about making a choice. He demanded that she choose one and only one man. Unfortunately, she was so in love with both men, she was unable to choose. Finally, she decided to make a wager on which would rest the future of her love life. On the second-year anniversary of being spotted by these men, she would get out of bed and look at the weather. If it was sunny, she would marry the philosopher. If it was raining, she would choose the sexy beast. (Yes, the idea came to her in an acid trip).
For the next nine months, things became increasingly testy between the philosopher and the beast. They moved out of their shared apartment, and stopped going drinking together. Finally, they were no longer even friends, driven apart by their mad love for the mysterious girl.
One the fateful day, the philosopher rose out of bed to see a beautiful blue sky. He expected to feel pleased that he would marry the girl, but was suddenly filled with a disgusting sense of horror. At that moment, he realised he was the kind of man who could only ever love a girl he couldn't have. He'd ruined his longest friendship, written over 59 Petrarchan sonnets, and cancelled his porn subscription for a girl who would never make him happy. When he came to this conclusion, he was driven mad with the idea that he could be such an empty and abhorrent person, and blew his brains out. Sexy beast and gambling girl got over it pretty quickly, got married, and had a buttload of handsome, guitar-toting babies. The End.

Two years ago, the man was in a bar when he spotted the most gorgeous girl he'd ever met. Unfortunately, his best friend also saw her at the exact same moment. They both fell madly in love with her, and pretty well stalked her for a full year. On the anniversary of meeting her, they got together, both ready to confess a secret, only to realise that they were admiting to loving the same girl. They were unable to decide who should get the girl, so, being free-thinking kind of people, they decided to approach the girl and ask her whom she would prefer to be with. Now the man was a highly intelligent and deeply philosophical person, who had a tendancy to woo girls with his understanding of life's complexities. However, his best friend was a divinely sexy beast, with the kind of wild and Promethean beauty and musical prowress of Valentine Xavier. When the girl saw the two friends, she was instantly struck by the former's intelligence and the latter's beauty. Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it.
After about three months of her consentually seeing both men in a kind of f.ed up three-way trisexual relationship, the man decided to confront her about making a choice. He demanded that she choose one and only one man. Unfortunately, she was so in love with both men, she was unable to choose. Finally, she decided to make a wager on which would rest the future of her love life. On the second-year anniversary of being spotted by these men, she would get out of bed and look at the weather. If it was sunny, she would marry the philosopher. If it was raining, she would choose the sexy beast.
For the next nine months, things became increasingly testy between the philosopher and the beast. They moved out of their shared apartment, and stopped going drinking together. Finally, they were no longer even friends, driven apart by their mad love for the mysterious girl.
One the fateful day, the philosopher rose out of bed to see a beautiful blue sky. He expected to feel pleased that he would marry the girl, but was suddenly filled with a disgusting since of horror. At that moment, he realised he was the kind of man who could only ever love a girl he couldn't have. He'd ruined his longest friendship, written over 59 Petrarchan sonnets, and cancelled his porn subscription for a girl who would never make him happy. When he came to this conclusion, he was driven mad with the idea that he could be such an empty and abhorrent person, and blew his brains out. Sexy beast and gambling girl got over it pretty quickly, got married, and had a buttload of handsome, guitar-toting babies. The End.




Why is it no one ever actually opens their tags, eh?

Wouldn't he just burst into flames?

Urban legend. It actually casuses severe depression.

Two years ago, the man was in a bar when he spotted the most gorgeous girl he'd ever met. Unfortunately, his best friend also saw her at the exact same moment. They both fell madly in love with her, and pretty well stalked her for a full year. On the anniversary of meeting her, they got together, both ready to confess a secret, only to realise that they were admiting to loving the same girl. They were unable to decide who should get the girl, so, being free-thinking kind of people, they decided to approach the girl and ask her whom she would prefer to be with. Now the man was a highly intelligent and deeply philosophical person, who had a tendancy to woo girls with his understanding of life's complexities. However, his best friend was a divinely sexy beast, with the kind of wild and Promethean beauty and musical prowress of Valentine Xavier. When the girl saw the two friends, she was instantly struck by the former's intelligence and the latter's beauty. Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it.
After about three months of her consentually seeing both men in a kind of f.ed up three-way trisexual relationship, the man decided to confront her about making a choice. He demanded that she choose one and only one man. Unfortunately, she was so in love with both men, she was unable to choose. Finally, she decided to make a wager on which would rest the future of her love life. On the second-year anniversary of being spotted by these men, she would get out of bed and look at the weather. If it was sunny, she would marry the philosopher. If it was raining, she would choose the sexy beast.
For the next nine months, things became increasingly testy between the philosopher and the beast. They moved out of their shared apartment, and stopped going drinking together. Finally, they were no longer even friends, driven apart by their mad love for the mysterious girl.
One the fateful day, the philosopher rose out of bed to see a beautiful blue sky. He expected to feel pleased that he would marry the girl, but was suddenly filled with a disgusting since of horror. At that moment, he realised he was the kind of man who could only ever love a girl he couldn't have. He'd ruined his longest friendship, written over 59 Petrarchan sonnets, and cancelled his porn subscription for a girl who would never make him happy. When he came to this conclusion, he was driven mad with the idea that he could be such an empty and abhorrent person, and blew his brains out. Sexy beast and gambling girl got over it pretty quickly, got married, and had a buttload of handsome, guitar-toting babies. The End.

Epic win!

Urban legend. It actually casuses severe depression.

So vampires get SAD during the summer? I see.

*snip*
What a lovely, if somewhat heart-breaking, story. Truly you have the gift of storytelling!

Two years ago, the man was in a bar when he spotted the most gorgeous girl he'd ever met. Unfortunately, his best friend also saw her at the exact same moment. They both fell madly in love with her, and pretty well stalked her for a full year. On the anniversary of meeting her, they got together, both ready to confess a secret, only to realise that they were admiting to loving the same girl. They were unable to decide who should get the girl, so, being free-thinking kind of people, they decided to approach the girl and ask her whom she would prefer to be with. Now the man was a highly intelligent and deeply philosophical person, who had a tendancy to woo girls with his understanding of life's complexities. However, his best friend was a divinely sexy beast, with the kind of wild and Promethean beauty and musical prowress of Valentine Xavier. When the girl saw the two friends, she was instantly struck by the former's intelligence and the latter's beauty. Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it.
After about three months of her consentually seeing both men in a kind of f.ed up three-way trisexual relationship, the man decided to confront her about making a choice. He demanded that she choose one and only one man. Unfortunately, she was so in love with both men, she was unable to choose. Finally, she decided to make a wager on which would rest the future of her love life. On the second-year anniversary of being spotted by these men, she would get out of bed and look at the weather. If it was sunny, she would marry the philosopher. If it was raining, she would choose the sexy beast. (Yes, the idea came to her in an acid trip).
For the next nine months, things became increasingly testy between the philosopher and the beast. They moved out of their shared apartment, and stopped going drinking together. Finally, they were no longer even friends, driven apart by their mad love for the mysterious girl.
One the fateful day, the philosopher rose out of bed to see a beautiful blue sky. He expected to feel pleased that he would marry the girl, but was suddenly filled with a disgusting sense of horror. At that moment, he realised he was the kind of man who could only ever love a girl he couldn't have. He'd ruined his longest friendship, written over 59 Petrarchan sonnets, and cancelled his porn subscription for a girl who would never make him happy. When he came to this conclusion, he was driven mad with the idea that he could be such an empty and abhorrent person, and blew his brains out. Sexy beast and gambling girl got over it pretty quickly, got married, and had a buttload of handsome, guitar-toting babies. The End.

Wait! So what happened to that bar?

*whistles innocently*

Nah it just sprung to mind when I read that.
I do believe one of us iss the evil twin... But which one? :confused:
The man was a crazy liberal who was continuously spouting ridiculous ideas about the detrimental effects of global warming. Realizing that the phenomenon could lead to a beautiful summer morning, he saw that he was wrong all along. Because he was so deeply ashamed and regretful that he believed such a preposterous theory, and rather than live in disgrace, he shot himself.

A troll? Here? My word, you've got the wrong thread old chap. You want the political one over there on the right. See?
*Points*

Wait! So what happened to that bar?

It was doing pretty well, until the owner died of a rather unfortunate case of Chlamydia. I mean, the Chlamydia went away, but his wife shot both him and his thirteen-year-old gay lover in head-line grabbing crime of passion. She's now in prison, writing romantic letters to Chuck Greaves, an ice-cream man and James Bond fan.

What a lovely, if somewhat heart-breaking, story. Truly you have the gift of storytelling!

Why, thank you.

...Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it....

So is this a true story, based on personal experience? :p

Great suggestion by the way :)

Wouldn't he just burst into flames?

He was about to, hence the gun.

So is this a true story, based on personal experience? :p

Great suggestion by the way :)

It may have had some shades of reality to it....

It may have had some shades of reality to it....

The acid trip part *nods*





:p

It may have had some shades of reality to it....

Shades? Are we talking a more bluish sort, or maybe peach?

...No, wait, that's hue, not shade....nevermind...

Shades? Are we talking a more bluish sort, or maybe peach?

...No, wait, that's hue, not shade....nevermind...

Whatever shade a Promethean and divinely sexy guitar player is.

It may have had some shades of reality to it....

Like all great art ;)

Whatever shade a Promethean and divinely sexy guitar player is.

And here I was thinking it was the beautiful woman part.

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

He was being hunted by a sadistic, solar-powered robot.

It WAS a beautiful summer morning ... TOO beautiful, in fact. It was warm ... TOO warm. The man knew that the heat, the brightness, the piercing rays of the sun could only be due to global warming. Thinking of the children, he committed suicide to spare the Earth yet another breathing, carbon-spewing mammal, buying humanity precious picoseconds in its ever-shrinking lifespan.

He was going to suicide anyway by jumping out a high window, lost his nerve because it was so high, and instead shot himself.

what? it's the best I got.

Today's Puzzle:

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)he was a weatherman with a string of bad calls. his station told him if he got another one wrong, he would be fired and they would make sure he would never work in the town again.

he didn't predict a beautiful day, so he knew he was going to be fired and his life ruined.

he was a weatherman with a string of bad calls. his station told him if he got another one wrong, he would be fired and they would make sure he would never work in the town again.

he didn't predict a beautiful day, so he knew he was going to be fired and his life ruined.
Sounds like that could be it.

Thought of another one:

He was a prisoner. Rather than spend another day in prison, he opted to shoot himself.

Thought of another one:

He was a prisoner. Rather than spend another day in prison, he opted to shoot himself.

How'd he get a gun in prison?

How'd he get a gun in prison?

Obviously he constructed it from toilet paper and his own teeth.

How'd he get a gun in prison?

He was a prison guard who didn't want to spend another day in prison :p

Well he did say don't worry about feasibility...but who said anything about being in prison? I just said prisoner.

I dunno, these things usually just give me headaches. :confused:

Obviously he constructed it from toilet paper and his own teeth.

What was McGuyver doing in prison?

What was McGuyver doing in prison?
He attended the wrong NAMBLA meeting.

What was McGuyver doing in prison?

Colonel Jack O'Neill put him there.

Colonel Jack O'Neill put him there.

You mean General O'Neill.

You mean General O'Neill.

You mean McGyver. :p

You mean General O'Neill.

Was he always General? I thought he was promoted around Season 5 from Colonel.

Anyway, that's enough threadjacking from me. Bad threadjacker! Bad! *slaps self*

You mean McGyver. :p
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRkexJ-MBCQ
Was he always General? I thought he was promoted around Season 5 from Colonel.

Anyway, that's enough threadjacking from me. Bad threadjacker! Bad! *slaps self*
Season Eight, actually...second part of the primere. Told he was promoted by Dr. Weir, no less...she went on to command the Atlantis base.

These are mega season four spoilers, so don't look if you don't want to see:


And apparently, she stops commanding it somewhere around the halfway point of season four, replaced by none other than Colonol(yes, full Colonol) Samantha Carter. What happens to Wier, I have no idea. She might actually be fine, but the way it was shown in the spoiler over on Gateworld--plus the episode titles for the season four mid-way epppies--suggests something horrible has happened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRkexJ-MBCQ

Season Eight, actually...second part of the primere. Told he was promoted by Dr. Weir, no less...she went on to command the Atlantis base.

These are mega season four spoilers, so don't look if you don't want to see:


And apparently, she stops commanding it somewhere around the halfway point of season four, replaced by none other than Colonol(yes, full Colonol) Samantha Carter. What happens to Wier, I have no idea. She might actually be fine, but the way it was shown in the spoiler over on Gateworld--plus the episode titles for the season four mid-way epppies--suggests something horrible has happened.

As my reply may indicate what's in the above spoiler:

Good. I hate Wier.

I still think the riddle man is a prisoner of some kind. Whether or not he actually suicided I'm unsure about.

Sounds like that could be it.

either that or...

he's a farmer and currently his lands are undergoing a drought. if it didn't rain this day, the last of his crops would die. it didn't, so he couldn't face the financial ruin that his family are now facing...

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

Third puzzle involving a suicide, if I count correctly... HT, are you trying to tellus something?

As my reply may indicate what's in the above spoiler:

Good. I hate Wier.

What? How you can hate Weir?! She's beautiful, she extremely intelligent, and is a valuable asset to the show. Now that Carson is gone she's the soul of Atlantis, so to speak. She's my favorite character, actually.

What? How you can hate Weir?! She's beautiful, she extremely intelligent, and is a valuable asset to the show. Now that Carson is gone she's the soul of Atlantis, so to speak. She's my favorite character, actually.

Carson? Is that a mistype of Carter or the name of an actor? If you mean Col. Carter is gone, then I think you just ruined my day...:( Weir just rubs me the wrong way. Too many times I see her get caught up in a moral dilemma over an issue, drives me up a wall.

Ok, what other connotations for "shot" are there? Needle, camera, anyone got anything else?

Carson? Is that a mistype of Carter or the name of an actor? If you mean Col. Carter is gone, then I think you just ruined my day...:( Weir just rubs me the wrong way. Too many times I see her get caught up in a moral dilemma over an issue, drives me up a wall.


No, Carson Beckett, Atlantis' Doctor. I don't know where you are, but if you're in the United States the episode where he dies will be coming on Friday the 25th. Wier is the only real soul of Atlantis left after Carson died. He was my other favorite character. :(

Carter is fine as far as I know. I'll be damned if I know how they'll work it with the SG-1 movie plots, unless this specific occurance happens after both of the movies.

:(:(

Carson? Is that a mistype of Carter or the name of an actor? If you mean Col. Carter is gone, then I think you just ruined my day...:( Weir just rubs me the wrong way. Too many times I see her get caught up in a moral dilemma over an issue, drives me up a wall.

Ok, what other connotations for "shot" are there? Needle, camera, anyone got anything else?

drinks, little metal ball...

drinks, little metal ball...

Yeah, but "shot himself" meaning drinking a shot?

Grr...I'm sure that "shot" is the keyword here...

Yeah, but "shot himself" meaning drinking a shot?

Grr...I'm sure that "shot" is the keyword here...

wiktionary claims shot is a south african colloquialism for thanked.

So clearly this man had invented some sort of weather controlling machine to make it a nice day for himself, and when he saw it was successful thanked himself for doing it.

Greetings Forum-goers!

Last week's answer:

The man just had an operation to cure his blindness. The train was going through a tunnel when he decided to take off his blindfold to see if it had worked; he didn't see anything, thought it had failed, and killed himself.

Results:

Correct Answer: Hamilay

Most Imaginative Answer: Alexandrian Ptolemais

Cleverest Answer which probably SHOULD have been the right one: Bazalonia

Today's Puzzle:

A man woke up on a beautiful summer morning. He went to the window, looked out in horror, and then shot himself.

Why?

Sorry for YET ANOTHER morbid puzzle.

(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)

A man was having sex with a dead woman. A long-dead woman. To be precise, his dearly beloved late wife.

Yeah, but "shot himself" meaning drinking a shot?

Grr...I'm sure that "shot" is the keyword here...

punched, tossed (basketball)

don't think so, I think the key is that he was horrified because it was a beautiful day.

punched, tossed (basketball)

don't think so, I think the key is that he was horrified because it was a beautiful day.

bipolar disorder linked to the weather?

Uh...
He was an ice sculptor. When he saw it was summer he knew his life's work had melted and so shot himself.

Didn't he kill his whole family because he thought there was going to be an apocalypse or something?

He just bought the neighbouring house on loan to rent its flats to others when he looked out, he saw termites destroyed it.

Or: He knew that he only had a week to live and thought this was a good day to die.

Ok, ok, I admit... it was me with the pistol in the bedroom... he didn't shoot himself.

I would think... nope sorry lost it. I'm no good here. Sorry for spamming...

I didn't win "most imaginative answer" in #2, so I'm not playing.

/sulk

Some preliminaries:
The man does not need to look out the window to know it is daytime. So it's not that.
It is both beautiful and summer. The man does not have a reasonable expectation that it will be cold and wet. So it's not that.
It does not specify that the man shot himself dead.
The man looks out the window in horror. The only reasonable target of his horror is the weather. So it's not "shoots self to get a day off work."

OK, I have it. That took about a minute. (EDIT: Actually I had it wrong. Too crazy to tell.)

Unless you count the incubation time (over an hour) since I first read your question but wasn't thinking about it. Actually incubation time is essential.


*snip*
(If any of you know the answer, try to refrain from posting it, thanks)if we know the answer but refrain from posting it, how would you know who won?Well, the idea is that you don't know at first, but through 'higher thought' you work it out, thus honestly posting the obvious answer.

By the way everyone...there IS an intuitive answer. Look in the question...:confused:

You completely missed the point. Correct answer was "Oh silly me, yes" followed by editing the OP.
Did you imagine that no-one is going to bother once one of us has given the right answer? Are you saying "don't cheat"??

Can anyone be sure they haven't heard it before? As a little kid perhaps?

I think he means don't answer if you've already heard the puzzle.

Why not just explain spoiler tags? Or give an email address for answers which might be right?
Highly-sloppy Thinking should have clarified by editing the OP.

Your story was entertaining. You should win something for that.

This was good too:
*snip*
(EDIT: actually it was the official right answer. Pfshaw!)

Who would have thought JuNii was smart, when he's wrong about almost everything? :p

It was opposite day, and he always felt really good when it was the summer time, so he did the opposite, spun himself into a deep swirl of depression, and killed himself.

The man was an air marshall, carrying a pistol.
He had fallen asleep while on duty, on a flight between New York and San Francisco in the dead of winter.
Looking out the window, he saw the sun high in the sky and correctly surmised that it was summer.
Therefore the plane had been hijacked, since it was now in the southern hemisphere.
Seeing a cordon of security around the plane, he tried to show them his gun to let them know they had an 'inside man.'
But they didn't notice him through the nasty little plastic window, so he tried to break it with the butt of his pistol so he could put his arm out and wave the gun.
Hitting the plastic window set off the pistol, shooting the air marshall accidentally.

Yeah, I know, I know. Pistols have a safety. Only fault in it. Someone fix it for me, my head hurts.

I vote Dinaverg for funniest explanation with the mirror/bigfoot thing. Extra kudos for doing it in four minutes. Now that I feel better I'll tone down the previous flame.

I've decided to post the answer I thought was correct but was too snooty to say.
Just to show how wrong I can be ...:headbang:

The man was on a cruise ship.
He'd come on board to farewell friends, and had a drink too many.
He awoke to find himself at sea.
He knew he'd lose his job if he took more than a day or two off.
He knew the ship wouldn't turn back.
So he shot himself (non-fatally) to get evacuated back to land by helicopter.

:headbang:

The man had entered a type of scavenger hunt contest in New York City where he had to collect a bunch of objects from around the world and deliver them to a specified place in Sydney, Australia. The winner of the contest would receive one billion (US) dollars. He was one of five people in the contest.
The contest began, and throughout the course he meandered about, not doing better or worse than the other contestants. However, as the hunt went on, the other four contestants got themselves disqualified for various infractions. The deadline approached quickly, and there was less than 24 hours left until the end of the hunt. Luckily, since he was the only contestant left, all he needed to do was show up in Sydney with just one object and he would win the one billion dollars. He decided to celebrate his good fortune by having a drink. One of the objects he decided not to take on to Sydney was ten litres of French absinthe, so he figured he could have some of that. Unfortunately for him, he was an alcoholic, and one drink became two, and so on, until he'd drunk enough of the absinthe to get royally drunk.
He decided it would be a good time to order his plane ticket and hotel on-line for the airport, and get on the plane sooner rather than later, so he could sleep his way through the flight and wake up in Sydney a rich man. He did just that, got on the plane with his object, - a working 19th century British musket - and got off the plane in Sydney. He was still a little bit drunk, so he went to his hotel room, slept four hours more, and woke up to see a beautiful summer day.
He was horrified by this, and so he shot himself.


The problem was that it was winter in Sydney, Australia.
He was in Sydney, Nova Scotia, having gotten onto the wrong plane.
He had no chance of getting there by the deadline, and he wasn't going to win the one billion dollars.

The man had entered a type of scavenger hunt contest in New York City where he had to collect a bunch of objects from around the world and deliver them to a specified place in Sydney, Australia. The winner of the contest would receive one billion (US) dollars. He was one of five people in the contest.
The contest began, and throughout the course he meandered about, not doing better or worse than the other contestants. However, as the hunt went on, the other four contestants got themselves disqualified for various infractions. The deadline approached quickly, and there was less than 24 hours left until the end of the hunt. Luckily, since he was the only contestant left, all he needed to do was show up in Sydney with just one object and he would win the one billion dollars. He decided to celebrate his good fortune by having a drink. One of the objects he decided not to take on to Sydney was ten litres of French absinthe, so he figured he could have some of that. Unfortunately for him, he was an alcoholic, and one drink became two, and so on, until he'd drunk enough of the absinthe to get royally drunk.
He decided it would be a good time to order his plane ticket and hotel on-line for the airport, and get on the plane sooner rather than later, so he could sleep his way through the flight and wake up in Sydney a rich man. He did just that, got on the plane with his object, - a working 19th century British musket - and got off the plane in Sydney. He was still a little bit drunk, so he went to his hotel room, slept four hours more, and woke up to see a beautiful summer day.
He was horrified by this, and so he shot himself.


The problem was that it was winter in Sydney, Australia.
He was in Sydney, Nova Scotia, having gotten onto the wrong plane.
He had no chance of getting there by the deadline, and he wasn't going to win the one billion dollars.

That's made of tryhard.
I totally respect your spelling and 'diction' or whatever the word for typing without typos is.

Next!

He was a bit depressed? Maybe his dog had died.

He was OBVIOUSLY a snowman.
Or an ice elemental.
Or something like that.
He knew he was going to die anyways, so he shot himself.

He was OBVIOUSLY a snowman.
Or an ice elemental.
Or something like that.
He knew he was going to die anyways, so he shot himself.

Oh, for -- come on! That's lameass. Bullets don't work on either of those.

((Yeah, I know my slang is long-gone. Best of the seventies, eighties and nineties. Yelling at history))

Ok ok!

His house was the site for the world's largest nesting colony of Africanized (Killer) Honey Bees. When he looked out the window to see the bright sunny day he saw the bees crawling around his house. Rather than be stung to death multiple times, he ended his own life to prevent the obviously nasty and painful experiance of being attacked.

I know, that has nothing on Terrorist Cakes...

He was a photographer doing a series of self portraits.

The man was British, and like all Britons, hadn't seen the Sun in so long that he thought it was a UFO, panicked at the impending invasion, and offed himself.

I vote Dinaverg for funniest explanation with the mirror/bigfoot thing. Extra kudos for doing it in four minutes.

Nyeh-hehehe. ^_^

That's made of tryhard.
I totally respect your spelling and 'diction' or whatever the word for typing without typos is.

Next!Why thank you. Your ideas were somewhat amusing, as well.

I think that the man was a huge Jackass fan and had a dog named after each of the chaps involved. The dog in question on this terrible morning was named after Rab Himself and the sight that greeted him on that fateful morning was his wife going full pelt with the dog in his garden.

This explains both the look of horror and his decision to shoot 'Himself'.

Who would have thought JuNii was smart, when he's wrong about almost everything? :p

see.. I am Sarmt! :D

He's a lighthouse keeper that forgot to light the lamps the night before?

Six months in the future, the man invented time travel. He used this to go back and try and prevent the holocaust. Instead, he ended up cuasing complete Nazi domination over Europe into the twenty-first century. While returning to his time machine, he was badly scarred. He stumbled into the time machine, and set it for a random date- in the middle of summer. Desperate to prevent himself from making this horrible mistake, he staggered to his convieniently nearby house.

Meanwhile, past him, looked out the window. It was a beautiful summer's day, ruined only by the horrific sight of him, horribly scarred, and pointing a pistol at himself.

He then shot himself.

Two years ago, the man was in a bar when he spotted the most gorgeous girl he'd ever met. Unfortunately, his best friend also saw her at the exact same moment. They both fell madly in love with her, and pretty well stalked her for a full year. On the anniversary of meeting her, they got together, both ready to confess a secret, only to realise that they were admiting to loving the same girl. They were unable to decide who should get the girl, so, being free-thinking kind of people, they decided to approach the girl and ask her whom she would prefer to be with. Now the man was a highly intelligent and deeply philosophical person, who had a tendancy to woo girls with his understanding of life's complexities. However, his best friend was a divinely sexy beast, with the kind of wild and Promethean beauty and musical prowress of Valentine Xavier. When the girl saw the two friends, she was instantly struck by the former's intelligence and the latter's beauty. Well, actually, she was instantly struck with paranoi after learning that she was a stalker victim, but she eventually got over it.
After about three months of her consentually seeing both men in a kind of f.ed up three-way trisexual relationship, the man decided to confront her about making a choice. He demanded that she choose one and only one man. Unfortunately, she was so in love with both men, she was unable to choose. Finally, she decided to make a wager on which would rest the future of her love life. On the second-year anniversary of being spotted by these men, she would get out of bed and look at the weather. If it was sunny, she would marry the philosopher. If it was raining, she would choose the sexy beast. (Yes, the idea came to her in an acid trip).
For the next nine months, things became increasingly testy between the philosopher and the beast. They moved out of their shared apartment, and stopped going drinking together. Finally, they were no longer even friends, driven apart by their mad love for the mysterious girl.
One the fateful day, the philosopher rose out of bed to see a beautiful blue sky. He expected to feel pleased that he would marry the girl, but was suddenly filled with a disgusting sense of horror. At that moment, he realised he was the kind of man who could only ever love a girl he couldn't have. He'd ruined his longest friendship, written over 59 Petrarchan sonnets, and cancelled his porn subscription for a girl who would never make him happy. When he came to this conclusion, he was driven mad with the idea that he could be such an empty and abhorrent person, and blew his brains out. Sexy beast and gambling girl got over it pretty quickly, got married, and had a buttload of handsome, guitar-toting babies. The End.

Wow. That is fantastic. You should adapt it into a short story or film ala Jules and Jim. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules_and_Jim)