NationStates Jolt Archive

In preparation for her new role as "prison bitch" in her new chicks-in-prison night vision sex video Paris Hilton is learning Karate.

http://fametastic.co.uk/archive/20070513/6038/paris-hilton-learning-self-defense-before-prison/

That's hot.

Her sentence was halved - due to good behaviour, for showing up for the trial?! :eek:

She will still have a month in tent city. In the summertime.

Now that's hot.

If she gets in a real fight, Paris is gonna get snapped like a twig. You can't make up for an sheltered lifestyle and an anorexic frame with a few karate lessons.

Takin' all bets on the chances of Paris Hilton getting shanked after threatening to karate chop some one.

Why would you need self-defense in prison?...oh...:eek:

Actually, it's been halved twice, according to a link I followed from that article - she'll apparently only spend 23 days in the can (not 90, not 45), probably minimum security.

She sure is twitchy, though. I'll tell you one thing, though: A quick week of self-defense advice from your personal trainer (read: Probably not a serious martial artist) is not going to change much about her.

She's not going to come out of karate classes able to kick anyone's ass, but I just wish I could watch her work out. I'll bet all the bouts of giggling in between poorly thrown girly punches is just adorable.

We all know Paris Hilton's the Mistress of Suck-Fu. Why would someone want to shank her when they can get lip service instead?

We all know Paris Hilton's the Mistress of Suck-Fu. Why would someone want to shank her when they can get lip service instead?

Maybe they're into the two at the same time.

I actually kinda hope she gets the crap kicked out of her.

i hope the teacher refers to her as grasshopper...

Her sentence was halved - due to good behaviour, for showing up for the trial?! :eek:



Actually, it's because of prison overcrowding and such. Quite a few folks end up like that.

She actually looks so weird in that pic.

She actually looks so weird in that pic.

It's paris. She always looks weird.

She's not going to come out of karate classes able to kick anyone's ass, but I just wish I could watch her work out. I'll bet all the bouts of giggling in between poorly thrown girly punches is just adorable.

She's such a fucking stick figure I don't think she'd give a toddler a fight.

i hope the teacher refers to her as grasshopper...

Conviniently leaving out the G-R.

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e142/leftyflecken/ohnoesiy6.gif

:) She'll get "owned" by any other prisoners. A few "tricks"? Give me a break!

Maybe this will finally shutup and maybe get rid of that attempt to copy right the phrase "that's hot". I bet you by the end of the first twelve seconds in the slammer she's:fluffle: with big ronda to keep from getting a broom stick shoved up her butt. Though I really would like it if big Ronda :headbang: her for cheating with cock-eyed Katherine in the next cell.

http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/corky/corkysm31.gif

It's paris. She always looks weird.

http://parisfacial.ytmnd.com/

http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/corky/corkysm31.gif

:eek:

It's paris. She always looks weird.

It's a gimmick.

Paris always looks like a make-upped mannequin. Bush always looks like a dipshit..

:) She'll get "owned" by any other prisoners. A few "tricks"? Give me a break!

Self defense specialist: Ok, this is what you can learn in one week. When the oponent comes, you grab him and kick him in the groin.
Paris: But I´m going to an all female prison.
Silence.

her best defense will be to pay some of the girls in there to gaurd her. it's not like she wont be able to pay whatever they want.

Bets that she's kept segregated?

she could probably use her money to buy awesome powers

http://www.awesomechan.net/gif/src/117741625470.gif

I hope she gets fucked up in prison.

To say that she is learning new skills implies that she had a skill to begin with. From what I've seen and heard of her the only things she does well are spend money and misbehave. Maybe she can teach classes in prison.

The best wat for Paris to protect herself would be to find a kind, sweet girlfriend, about 6'7", 200lbs, looks like a Turkish wrestler

To say that she is learning new skills implies that she had a skill to begin with. From what I've seen and heard of her the only things she does well are spend money and misbehave. Maybe she can teach classes in prison.

misbehave 101 or spend money 101

I really have this evil hope that someone whoops Paris' ass with a bar of soap inside a sock. It's such a horribly under-rated prison weapon. Everyone always talks about the shiv, but the soap bar inside a sock is truly a force to be reckoned with.

I really have this evil hope that someone whoops Paris' ass with a bar of soap inside a sock. It's such a horribly under-rated prison weapon. Everyone always talks about the shiv, but the soap bar inside a sock is truly a force to be reckoned with.

Actually, it's the padlock in a sock that's the dangerous one. I can't remember why it's always a padlock, but it is. :p

but the soap bar inside a sock is truly a force to be reckoned with.

yeah but how you gonna get the soap bar off the floor :D

*insert rude comment about where you would get the sock*

yeah but how you gonna get the soap bar off the floor :D

*insert rude comment about where you would get the sock*

Remember, when in the shower, don't drop the soap!

*giggles and flees*

Sadly she will probably make a lot of money out of this - her prison diaries are probably being ghost written at this moment.

The only thing I can see coming from this is the idiot getting overconfident now that she "knows some moves" and getting whomped where she might not have before.

Heh, she's so dead :cool:

you all forget one thing.

do you think after they scrub those layers of make-up of, anyone will recognise her?

you all forget one thing.

do you think after they scrub those layers of make-up of, anyone will recognise her?

Do you think that once they scrub all that crap off, she'll even have a face?:D

I really have this evil hope that someone whoops Paris' ass with a bar of soap inside a sock. It's such a horribly under-rated prison weapon. Everyone always talks about the shiv, but the soap bar inside a sock is truly a force to be reckoned with.

If you've got a radio in your cell the batteries in a sock are much better than soap.

Rubbish. She's physically incapable of learning a skill. Cos then she might be famous for actually being talented. Which isn't really the point of her existence, if we're being honest :p

Remember, when in the shower, don't drop the soap!

because you might step on it and slip, which probably won't be covered by the prisons insurance

Good for her over-reacting to going to jail. Let her feel some sort on confidence as other inmates verbally sexual harass her. Now if only we could film it..

No, not that, you perverts.

I'm talking about making a movie.

"Hollywood History X"

Good for her over-reacting to going to jail. Let her feel some sort on confidence as other inmates verbally sexual harass her. Now if only we could film it..

No, not that, you perverts.

I'm talking about making a movie.

"Hollywood History X"

It's sad, but I can imagine a Lifetime channel movie already.

"Paris in Chains"
"I Will Survive, the True Story of Paris Hilton's Incarceration"

Actually, it's because of prison overcrowding and such. Quite a few folks end up like that.

They should have let a few more people out and made her spend double her sentence. Who the hell gets 23 days for violation of probation? When I was 17 they would threaten me with 6 month in jail.

Rubbish. She's physically incapable of learning a skill. Cos then she might be famous for actually being talented. Which isn't really the point of her existence, if we're being honest :p

You took the words out of my err...mouth? fingertips? brain?

The thought of that skank of being able to learn...and remember what she learned.....well the odds must be so heavily against that we are in danger of creating a blackhole!

You took the words out of my err...mouth? fingertips? brain?

The thought of that skank of being able to learn...and remember what she learned.....well the odds must be so heavily against that we are in danger of creating a blackhole!

Is her vagina a blackhole‽

Is her vagina a blackhole‽

You shouldn't insult such a beautiful cosmic phenomenon like that :upyours:

http://chandra.harvard.edu/photo/2007/n4472/n4472_ill_med.jpg