NationStates Jolt Archive

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.
Women are crap. that's why.

delicious copypasta


have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother. We got in one little fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orang juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear the pricey booze, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

I'm not exactly an expert on the subject, but probably many (at least some) girls like jocks.

He's gay? I don't know.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He isnt gayYou sure?

Sometimes people have internal conflicts that prevent then from reaching out. Especially the nice guys. There is a lot to worry about in this life, and sometimes just quietly getting on with what needs to be done without making much of a fuss is the best way they can think of to deal with this struggle. It's even worse if he's quite self-critical, when the prospect of getting too deeply involved in any kind of relationship may result in a fear of causing unnecessary pain.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend.Did you actually notice he was lonely, or did you only notice he didn't have a girlfriend?
Because not everyone without a girlfriend (or boyfriend) is lonely, you know..

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

Sounds a little like me.
It's because the world is a harsh, unpleasant place in which harsh, unpleasant people thrive.

Women are crap. that's why.
Second.

It's because he has no drive or initiative.

IIIIIIII"MMMMMMMM SHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

(40 yr old virgin).

Me, on being shy.

Let him blossom at his own rate. Girls will come around. Not everyone is ready to date at the same age. If he's a nice guy, he'll find a nice girl.

Sometimes people have internal conflicts that prevent then from reaching out. Especially the nice guys. There is a lot to worry about in this life, and sometimes just quietly getting on with what needs to be done without making much of a fuss is the best way they can think of to deal with this struggle. It's even worse if he's quite self-critical, when the prospect of getting too deeply involved in any kind of relationship may result in a fear of causing unnecessary pain.

I agree with you. I might empathise with him, having failed to enjoy a genuine relationship despite my being 18.

took me a little longer than that to enter my first relationship. That means nothing.

Maybe he's decided that he doesn't just want a relationship with someone on the basis that "everyone else does" and that maybe he'd rather wait for someone he was actually in love with?

It happens, you know.

Second.

It's because he has no drive or initiative.

One might wonder how you actually infer that from the OP, and it does seem excessively callous given the emotional insecurity of any number of similar boys.

Did you actually notice he was lonely, or did you only notice he didn't have a girlfriend?
Because not everyone without a girlfriend (or boyfriend) is lonely, you know..

Hes lonely. Ive known him my whole life.

Bisaayut:True, but he isnt the kind of perosn that doesnt do something just because everyone else DOES do it.

And ill repeat, hes not gay. I should know, I share a bed with him when he comes over.

Let him blossom at his own rate. Girls will come around. Not everyone is ready to date at the same age. If he's a nice guy, he'll find a nice girl.
That's a lie. A lie. Girls don't "come around" anywhere. I should know.

Women are crap. that's why.

You hate women, therefore they hate you. You're the problem, not women. Perhaps you're too ugly/inconsiderate/arrogant/bad tempered for any woman to put up with you? That is certainly the impression you give out here.

You should go back to your pit of self loathing and think about why you project it onto others.

He probably avoids reltionships for a reason similar to why I do. I give my complete trust and devotion to a single woman and am very happy. My relationships are generally very happy, there is little fighting, we get along swimingly, and I am not a jealous or over protective type. All to often something cataclysmic happens. My first (this is as an adult mind you) girlfreind had her attempt to get a citizenship visa denied and had to return to Brasil in '04. I had a fiance who suddenly, and enexplicably cheated on me. We had been together the better part of 2 years, she was a virgin who 'wanted to wait until marriage' and then suddenly from nowhere decides she was going to sleep with some sleezebag unprotected and get pregnant with his child o.O. My latest ex grew quite comfortable with me and because it was economically easier we moved in together. One night for no particular reason after we made love she up and left... she's living somewhere in Tennesee now.
Every break up hurts me emotionally for a long time, and some (the fiancee) are soar spots that remain today. I am often afraid to get into relationships to avoid the pain they can cause; perhaps he has a similar problem.

To Quote Jerry Seinfeld...
"To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up."

Women don't really have to try to hard to find a guy, be it for a fling or for a relationship (I've seen both happen plenty of times); its usually men who have to do the work to get a girlfriend. Consequently, your friend either isn't trying to work, or the girls that he's tried to get aren't interested in him for a variety of reasons.

That and not all single people are lonely.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

Well, this is usually something that is outside my area of expertise (constantly raging against the machine doesn't give one much time to contemplate personal issues), but I'll give this one a shot.

I think that I can identify a lot with this guy you speak of. I think that there might be two reasons he hasn't found a girlfriend. Number one is obvious, and that is that he just hasn't blossomed yet, or become sure enough of himself in order to justify trying. He's probably terribly self-conscious if that's the case.

The second reason is somewhat different. Maybe he doesn't bother trying to come out his shell because he's already found what he wants: you. I know it sounds crazy, but if he is like you say he is, then it may be that he is your friend, but wants to be more than just your friend. From my own personal experiences, most men like him won't agree to sexual relationships with someone unless they are emotionally attached to that other person. So, while it may not seem like he loves you in a romantic sense, that might actually be the case, and he might be too self-conscious to express it.

So, that's my 2 bits.

"I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother".


What did you mean by that

Hes lonely. Ive known him my whole life.

Bisaayut:True, but he isnt the kind of perosn that doesnt do something just because everyone else DOES do it.

And ill repeat, hes not gay. I should know, I share a bed with him when he comes over.

it's not gay if the balls aren't touching.

And ill repeat, hes not gay. I should know, I share a bed with him when he comes over.

Dare I imagine that perhaps he is in love with someone, and lonley because he thinks he can not have them? Or possibly is afraid to say so because of fear of rejection? (I have been in those shoes)

You hate women, therefore they hate you. You're the problem, not women. Perhaps you're too ugly/inconsiderate/arrogant/bad tempered for any woman to put up with you? That is certainly the impression you give out here.

You should go back to your pit of self loathing and think about why you project it onto others.
No, they hated me first, and I'm just directing it back at them.

you can be lonely and not want a girl/boyfriend

maybe he just wants more regular friends

or maybe he unrequitedly loves someone, which would make anyone lonely

Because he's not talkative.

No, they hated me first, and I'm just directing it back at them.

Yup. My point exactly. You don't come across as a nice person.

And ill repeat, hes not gay. I should know, I share a bed with him when he comes over.Do you have sex, or just cuddle?
If the former, perhaps he likes you?

Yup. My point exactly. You don't come across as a nice person.
That's not it. I WAS a nice person 'till they started hating on me, simply 'cuz i'm not good lucking, don't have a job, don't have a big enough penis, etc.

it's not gay if the balls aren't touching.

Im not a guy.

That's not it. I WAS a nice person 'till they started hating on me, simply 'cuz i'm not good lucking, don't have a job, don't have a big enough penis, etc.

Your naive bile makes me laugh.

OoOooups. this Thread has made it to moderation..

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=527067
actually there is a "surge" going @ moderation.. must be the full moon. :D

That's a lie. A lie. Girls don't "come around" anywhere. I should know.

Maybe just for you.

But people change with age and they do make the choice to give someone a chance.

STOP ALL THE POINTLESS BICKERING! I dont want this deleted because you people are arguing over the merits of male vs female faults or what have you...

Your naive bile makes me laugh.
Glad to be of service. :p

I've already given my best two bits of advice. I'm a nice guy of very similar nature, and those would be my two reasons.

You mentioned you sleep with him; I'm not sure if by that you mean "you simply share a bed" or "you have sex with him".

With that said, (and perhaps I could be called old-fashioned for saying this) but I would imagine most girls wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a guy who's sleeping with someone else. If he starts going out with another girl, wouldn't the fact that sleeping with you betray a huge lack of commitment on his part to the person he's calling his girlfriend? And unless by "finding a girlfriend" you mean "finding someone who wants an open relationship", lack of relational commitment is generally seen by the dating community as a bad thing.

Just throwin' it out there.

You mentioned you sleep with him; I'm not sure if by that you mean "you simply share a bed" or "you have sex with him".

With that said, (and perhaps I could be called old-fashioned for saying this) but I would imagine most girls wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a guy who's sleeping with someone else. If he starts going out with another girl, wouldn't the fact that sleeping with you betray a huge lack of commitment on his part to the person he's calling his girlfriend? And unless by "finding a girlfriend" you mean "finding someone who wants an open relationship", lack of relational commitment is generally seen by the dating community as a bad thing.

Just throwin' it out there.

They dont even know who I am. He is WAY to quiet to ever mention that. But I understand what you mean, and If he got a girlfriend I would no longer sleep with him.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

Your friend sounds just like me. Maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't care enough. Well...that's why I don't date.

They dont even know who I am. He is WAY to quiet to ever mention that. But I understand what you mean, and If he got a girlfriend I would no longer sleep with him.
Maybe because they see that he's hanging out with a girl that he may be taken. It could be just an assumptive issue wherein the other girl(s) who may potentially be interested in him think there is another girl so they don't bother. You should encourage him to speak up.

Do you have sex, or just cuddle?
If the former, perhaps he likes you?
Might just be me, but I think cuddling is probably more emotional, and for a lonely guy not in a relationship would be a stronger indicating factor of a wish to become more deeply involved than just casual sex.

Women are crap. that's why.

:rolleyes:

Im not a guy.

shit, that joke doesn't work then.

They dont even know who I am. He is WAY to quiet to ever mention that.

Sure about that?

You may be surprised...

Maybe because they see that he's hanging out with a girl that he may be taken. It could be just an assumptive issue wherein the other girl(s) who may potentially be interested in him think there is another girl so they don't bother. You should encourage him to speak up.

I live 3 hours away from him...

shit, that joke doesn't work then.

All in good fun eh old chap?

No, they hated me first, and I'm just directing it back at them.

*sigh* I don't know why I'm even bothering, but here goes again...

Women do not have a hive mind. Really. We don't. The fact that one or two women (or, as I rather suspect, teenage girls) were not your bestest friends in no way reflects upon "women." Similarly, the fact that you continue to spout sexist nonsense in no way reflects upon "men." It reflects upon you, and, speaking as a woman, I'm rather sick of it. I'm very sorry that, at some point in your life, a girl was mean to you, but the primary reason women continue not to like or respect you is that you insist on calling us all bitches nonstop. Oddly enough, this is not an endearing trait. Please, for god's sake, grow up and knock it off.

Is he only 16, too? If so; patience, grasshopper.

And I'm still confused as to whether, in this case, "sleep with" means "have sex with" or not. Yeah, I'm slow like that. Stupid euphemisms *grumble*.

Women do not have a hive mind. Really.

You lie! I can hear the buzzing from here!

Is he only 16, too? If so; patience, grasshopper.

And I'm still confused as to whether, in this case, "sleep with" means "have sex with" or not. Yeah, I'm slow like that. Stupid euphemisms *grumble*.

Well, we havent actually had sex... but ya... and im actually 6 months older than him. I just turned 17 three weeks ago. He turns 17 on October 22nd I think.

You lie! I can hear the buzzing from here!

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Well, we havent actually had sex... but ya... and im actually 6 months older than him. I just turned 17 three weeks ago. He turns 17 on October 22nd I think.

Then, really, patience. Some people just don't, for whatever reason, get around to it until a fair bit later than that - try or not.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
*runs away in terror* :eek: :D

He's young - don't worry about it yet :)

I'm serious about that. Give him time.

He's lucky to have someone who cares about him. But you're a girl and you know him, so if anybody should know a different and better answer than the one I've just given you, it would be you - not NSG.

Happy to help though. Best of luck to you both :)

Ever stop and think that this little sorta-relationship thing you've got going is more obvious than you think?

It's been my experience that most people are much more aware than you'd think.

It's because the world is a harsh, unpleasant place in which harsh, unpleasant people thrive.

emo much?

Ever stop and think that this little sorta-relationship thing you've got going is more obvious than you think?

It's been my experience that most people are much more aware than you'd think.

He doesnt brag about anything, ever. I have only heard him brag three times.
1. When he finally beat me in a game of Halo (He sucks, Dont tell him I told you!)
2.When he got 98% in Math
3. When he got his stupid Raptor. (That thing is a death machine, 110kph is WAY to fast for a quad.)

He doesnt brag about anything, ever. I have only heard him brag three times.
1. When he finally beat me in a game of Halo (He sucks, Dont tell him I told you!)
2.When he got 98% in Math
3. When he got his stupid Raptor. (That thing is a death machine, 110kph is WAY to fast for a quad.)

One off-the-cuff comment, one misspoken word, and the secret's out.

If he is only 16 then he has plenty of time, no hurry yet. At that age romance is often just fun fooling around that probably won't last so it can be seen as a waste of time, or as fun practice. But either way it's actually not the most important thing in life yet. If he still hasn't found anyone by the time he is finished with the education and has the salery to start a family then it's time to start wondering.

It sounds like you 2 get along pretty well, that makes me curious. Is it kind of a brother-sister like relationship or something that could turn romantic in the future?

You got your answer two pages ago:

Because he's not talkative.

Besides, he's 16 ffs! What, do you expect him to be married? At 16 I'd have thought occaisionly mucking about with a girl who lives three hours away whilst being free to play on my Raptor the rest of the time sounded just perfect!

You got your answer two pages ago:

Because he's not talkative.

Besides, he's 16 ffs! What, do you expect him to be married? At 16 I'd have thought occaisionly mucking about with a girl who lives three hours away whilst being free to play on my Raptor the rest of the time sounded just perfect!

Hey, I'm seventeen, sexy as heck, great person, very humble, and I've never had a boyfriend. It just hasn't happened for me yet. There's no logic in it; I usually call it a coincidence.

I don't understand this thread.

Since when is 16 over the hill?

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

sound's like me... except for the "sure [you] sleep with him" part.

good question. my reason is I'm shy, I get all tongue tied and tend to say stupid things around women.

I don't understand this thread.

Since when is 16 over the hill?

My point exactly.

Hey, I'm seventeen, sexy as heck, great person, very humble, and I've never had a boyfriend. It just hasn't happened for me yet. There's no logic in it; I usually call it a coincidence.

Modesty not a problem either;)

I don't understand this thread.

Since when is 16 over the hill?Come to think of it, tens of thousands of years ago, it probably was. Maybe it's some latent prehistoric instinct.

Hey, I'm seventeen, sexy as heck, great person, very humble, and I've never had a boyfriend. It just hasn't happened for me yet. There's no logic in it; I usually call it a coincidence.

Change it to girlfriend and you have me. (Probably sans sexy part. :p )

Hey, I'm seventeen, sexy as heck, great person, very humble, and I've never had a boyfriend. It just hasn't happened for me yet. There's no logic in it; I usually call it a coincidence.

*tosses you a bag of chips*

Though the "very humble" comment is kind of (totally) out of place, there. :p

As for me, I'm 19, and I've never been in a "relationship", either, and I suppose I won't be for some time to come. I'm very picky.

I'm 49 and like long walks on the beach, sunsets, and snuggling on a faux-fur rug . . .
Wait, this isn't the NSG dating thread?

I'm 49 and like long walks on the beach, sunsets, and snuggling on a faux-fur rug . . .
Wait, this isn't the NSG dating thread?

*slap*

*slap*
Abuse of the elderly!

*Phones Age Concern*

Abuse of the elderly!

*Phones Age Concern*

If you're too brittle to even so much as slap back at only 49, you deserve to be slapped. :p

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.
Okay, after reading the rest of the thread, (why isn't there a poll?) I'm gonna go with the crowd that says he's found his girl, but she lives 3 hours away /shrug

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

he's in to animals?

he's in to animals?

If they're in Kentucky, you might be on to something...

He's gay.

2 points to make

1) he doesnt look for a girlfriend because he is in love with YOU. stop sleeping with him if you arent interested in a relationship. its not good for him.

2) girlfriends arent given out as rewards for being a nice guy. IF he wants a girlfriend (who isnt you) he has to actually leave the house, meet a girl, be attracted to her, chat her up, have her be attracted to him and ACT ON IT. he doesnt have a girlfriend because he doesnt do that.

2 points to make

1) he doesnt look for a girlfriend because he is in love with YOU. stop sleeping with him if you arent interested in a relationship. its not good for him.

2) girlfriends arent given out as rewards for being a nice guy. IF he wants a girlfriend (who isnt you) he has to actually leave the house, meet a girl, be attracted to her, chat her up, have her be attracted to him and ACT ON IT. he doesnt have a girlfriend because he doesnt do that.

They aren't? Crap! *goes to throw away the receipts*

Yeah. Otherwise, I'd have one by now.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

There's about a million reasons why someone, espescially at the age of 16 might not have a girlfriend. If you feel you can safely rule out the possiblity of homosexuality, then it mostly comes down to being shy, and cultivating a small circle of friends.

I can relate. Took me a long time to finally hook up, and looking back, I realized it was because I just didn't try. I had a history of rejection, and assumed that the few times I stuck my toe in the water would be proof of what would happen every time I stuck my toe in the water.

Your friend probably needs to make new friends, and put himself out there.

2 points to make

1) he doesnt look for a girlfriend because he is in love with YOU. stop sleeping with him if you arent interested in a relationship. its not good for him.

2) girlfriends arent given out as rewards for being a nice guy. IF he wants a girlfriend (who isnt you) he has to actually leave the house, meet a girl, be attracted to her, chat her up, have her be attracted to him and ACT ON IT. he doesnt have a girlfriend because he doesnt do that.

QFT

Thought number 1 had occurred to me as well.

Might just be me, but I think cuddling is probably more emotional, and for a lonely guy not in a relationship would be a stronger indicating factor of a wish to become more deeply involved than just casual sex.Possibly, but some really good friends also have an emotional attachment where cuddling is seen as acceptable.

Well, we havent actually had sex... but ya... and im actually 6 months older than him. I just turned 17 three weeks ago. He turns 17 on October 22nd I think.Is there a specific reason that you haven't had sex? Has he made any moves? Have you?

It sounds like you 2 get along pretty well, that makes me curious. Is it kind of a brother-sister like relationship or something that could turn romantic in the future?

Its more of a friend-with-benifits routine going on... for further extrapolation ill tg you.

Is there a specific reason that you haven't had sex? Has he made any moves? Have you?
He has never pressured me at all. Im actually the one that started it all. On his moms birthday they came to my house and we all drank and such. He wanted to stay on the couch but meh, I invited him to sleep in my bed. He was so drunk he passe dout in under 3 seconds. The only thing he said before he passed out was "Noone will believe this."

Did you actually notice he was lonely, or did you only notice he didn't have a girlfriend?
Because not everyone without a girlfriend (or boyfriend) is lonely, you know..

Right-o! Besides, didn't he ever hear of "nice-guys finish last"?

He probably loves you.

Ilie:Now that I think about it... you are on to something.

He just phoned me half an hour ago. He sounded so sad when he said he wasnt allowed to come to Calgary until provincial exams. The slightly ironic thing is that he crashed his Raptor at 80kph and bent the frame, his dad wont let him come over until after finals. I bet this sucks for me more than him. Now I have nothing to entertain myself. :eek:

Ilie:Now that I think about it... you are on to something.

Seems that's what most folks here have been saying ;)

[QUOTE=Shakal;12658509]Ilie:Now that I think about it... you are on to something. QUOTE]

Seems that's what most folks here have been saying ;)

Maybe I just said it the best. ;)

Seems that's what most folks here have been saying ;)

I know. I just didnt REALLY think about it until now.

I know. I just didnt REALLY think about it until now.

It was my clear, succinct, understated genius that did it. Right? :cool:

It was my clear, succinct, understated genius that did it. Right? :cool:

Yes. :D

Have you thought that he might just want to be single? Believe it or not, it is not unusual for people of both genders to not date in high school.

I have a friend that Ive known for all 16 years of my life. I only recently noticed that he is lonely. I just dont understand why he has yet to find a girlfriend. I was wonding if you, the people of NSG could tell me why.

He is always polite, he is respectful and he has a fair sense of humor. Sure he could lose 10 pounds, MAYBE at absolute max 14. He isnt that talkative thouugh, unless your like me and have known him for a few years. He isnt gay, and he gives people money just because he can. I was at his grandparents house with him last weekend and they gave him $20 for helping them outside. He purposly forgot it and told me it wasnt fair because he usually sat on his computer doing nothing. He doesnt look that bad either. I live three hours away and we really dont see eachother much unless he can afford the bus tickets. (My dad doesnt let me go there after what happened at easter...long story) I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.


In a nutshell, women don't like nice guys. They like to date assholes and try to turn them into nice guys, then wonder why it doesn't work.

In a nutshell, women don't like nice guys. They like to date assholes and try to turn them into nice guys, then wonder why it doesn't work.

Right, why did Leia like Han more then Luke (before she knew Luke was her brother :p)?

In a nutshell, women don't like nice guys. They like to date assholes and try to turn them into nice guys, then wonder why it doesn't work.

Meh. Some women like nice guys, some women like bad boys. Most women probably like a bit of both. But generally speaking, women like assertive men, and assholes tend to be assertive.

Admit it, you'd have no problem with an assertive woman, even if she turned out to be a complete bitch. You'd give it a go.

I mean, sure I sleep with him, but we dont love eachother.

There's your problem right there. Assuming you're a girl, he's "taken".

Now I have nothing to entertain myself. :eek:

You're on NSG right? Or if not...

*British Accent*

Toy's m'dear. Toys. :p

Meh. Some women like nice guys, some women like bad boys. Most women probably like a bit of both. But generally speaking, women like assertive men, and assholes tend to be assertive.

Admit it, you'd have no problem with an assertive woman, even if she turned out to be a complete bitch. You'd give it a go.

Perhaps, but I'd leave when I discovered she was a bitch. I know a lot of women who stay with assholes, either because they think they can change them, or because he's turned absive and now they're afraid to leave him.

shakal your a girl! i thought you were a guy. i guess that's cool.

In a nutshell, women don't like nice guys. They like to date assholes and try to turn them into nice guys, then wonder why it doesn't work.

And men don't like nice women. They date psychobitches and try to get in their pants and wonder why they're left psychically bleeding on the pavement.
Then they complain to their female best friend about how horrible women are, all the while not realizing that they have a decent, sane woman right in front of them who would really like to get to know them. Males aren't the only ones who have problems getting dates.

It's surprising to me that the human race continues on, what with the problems people are having getting other people to be interested.

Somebody there'll be a world where root privileges, Doctor Who trivia knowledge, and MediaWiki operating knowledge will get one a date. Until then, I'll be fine with being single.

He has never pressured me at all. Im actually the one that started it all. On his moms birthday they came to my house and we all drank and such. He wanted to stay on the couch but meh, I invited him to sleep in my bed. He was so drunk he passe dout in under 3 seconds. The only thing he said before he passed out was "Noone will believe this."Oh, I see. Well, I'm not sure exactly why, but I'm leaning towards him liking you. 3 hours is a long time to travel to see somebody.

shakal your a girl! i thought you were a guy. i guess that's cool.


I got the same reaction from TPF when I told him. :eek:

I got the same reaction from TPF when I told him. :eek:
B... b... bw... bw... women? On the internet is implausible enough, but on International Incidents? Impossible! :p

I know nothing about the opposite sex, so I'll be leaving this thread now.

It's surprising to me that the human race continues on, what with the problems people are having getting other people to be interested.

And if we solved those problems can you imagine how many of us there would be cluttering the place up? :D

Yar, he's crushing on you.


Curious as we are, since you brought us in on the subject, if you don't mind sharing, how would you feel if it turns out to be true?

B... b... bw... bw... women? On the internet is implausible enough, but on International Incidents? Impossible! :p

I know nothing about the opposite sex, so I'll be leaving this thread now.

THAT is going to be my sig now. :D

Well, we havent actually had sex...

What do you mean by actually? Or is it just me thinking that the way you have written that sounds like you have done something with you're friend?

What do you mean by actually? Or is it just me thinking that the way you have written that sounds like you have done something with you're friend?

She mentioned "friends with benefits", so it's entirely possible they just fool around without going all the way.

She mentioned "friends with benefits", so it's entirely possible they just fool around without going all the way.

But how far do they go? ;)

But how far do they go? ;)

Far enough that I cant tell you how far. ;)

Far enough that I cant tell you how far. ;)

AHA!!! I think he probably loves you then and is waiting for you to make a move on him.

Far enough that I cant tell you how far. ;)

This is starting to sound exactly like how my marriage started...

In other words: he probably wants you. Mayhap a frank discussion is in order?

Deep Throating?

....Beginners luck... :eek:

....Beginners luck... :eek:

Hardly, you forget where you're posting ;)

Hardly, you forget where you're posting ;)

Seriously. This place is like an intellectual 4chan with a game attached to it.

It's trippy shit.

I hate when girls or anyone tells me I should talk more. Unless I have something of any interests to say, I don't want to talk just for the sake of talking. I don't enjoy the sound of my own voice, and I don't feel like making an ass out of myself.

I can't remember who said it but a quote went something like this:-

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and be thought an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt"

I was thinking something more along the lines of:

"Congratulations, you're a guy. Wanna cookie?"

Some people aren't ready or interested in a relationship at the age of sixteen. I know I, for one, wasn't. In fact, I really didn't start looking until just before my 21st birthday. I didn't feel like I wanted to deal with a relationship until then, I was busy studying, working and partying. Now partying has started to wear off, and graduation is just two quarters away, so I started casually looking, and I found an absolutely amazing girl within two months.

Some people will start when they're ready.

Yes. :D

Sweet! <3

what do you mean you share a bed with him when he comes over???? dont take it like i think your doing ANYTHING :p.... But i mean people that might not know you or him might think that... as for the problem with him.... just let him work on his own.... thats what i did and i've found someone that i want and need to spend the rest of my life with..... and i'm 16.... so ya just let him go it alone he's a big boy ain't he....besides.......you can't always be there for him when ever he falls down can you???????

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and be thought an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt"

Psh ah say wha ah want. You dont own me. Meet my unhappy camper :upyours: hehehehehe

what do you mean you share a bed with him when he comes over???? dont take it like i think your doing ANYTHING :p.... But i mean people that might not know you or him might think that... as for the problem with him.... just let him work on his own.... thats what i did and i've found someone that i want and need to spend the rest of my life with..... and i'm 16.... so ya just let him go it alone he's a big boy ain't he....besides.......you can't always be there for him when ever he falls down can you???????

Lurk more.

So, you sleep with him, but don't have sex...

You're confusing him!

Also, it's not all that unusual to be 16 and without a girlfriend.

I was thinking something more along the lines of:

"Congratulations, you're a guy. Wanna cookie?"

If it's raisin oatmeal, forget it.

And men don't like nice women. They date psychobitches and try to get in their pants and wonder why they're left psychically bleeding on the pavement.
Then they complain to their female best friend about how horrible women are, all the while not realizing that they have a decent, sane woman right in front of them who would really like to get to know them. Males aren't the only ones who have problems getting dates.

It's surprising to me that the human race continues on, what with the problems people are having getting other people to be interested.

Well, until my current GF, every good decent woman I knew was already seeing someone. Guys have to put up with the same thing you're describing; I have, more than once. Nice guys lose out in situations like that because we're too decent to take advantage of a woman.

This is a mentality I'll never understand...

Having a girlfriend or being in a relationship is not an end unto itself! It doesn't make life easier, it doesn't make all your misery go away, it doesn't make you a complete person. Forget the clichéd romantic garbage and forget the idiotic teenaged social treadmill. The reality of the situation is that if you are not happy as a person, alone, with your own life, getting a girlfriend is not going to miraculously make everything better! The truth is that having another person THAT close to you will always make things more complicated… You have to make DAMN sure that the person you are with is worth it! Not just some random place holder gotten for the sake of “having a girlfriend” but a genuinely good person. A companion.

If he can’t find that at his age, he’s got nothing to worry about. The bottom line is that being in a bad relationship is infinitely worse then not being in one at all – it drains you of the life you had, it can hurt you deeply, and it can mar every relationship you will have in the future! Don’t get into a relationship to fill a hole in your life; get into one because it makes you feel better about yourself, because you’ve found someone who is actually worth caring for. Anything less is worth waiting.

Your friend doesn’t NEED a girlfriend. He needs people in his life who allow him to express the things he’s too timid to express otherwise… People he’s comfortable around, people who share his interests, who offer an outlet for his personality, rather then those who force him to conform into something he isn’t. Male or female, doesn’t matter – he needs people in his life who allow him to grow as a person.

And for God’s sake, he needs to find some kind of outlet for his teenaged angst! If he’s the creative type, he needs to write, draw, or learn an instrument; if he’s the bookish type, he needs to read, study, and have someone to talk to; if he’s the physical type then he needs to run, bike, swim, work out… Whatever. Every teenager goes through feeling of fear, doubt, and uncertainty in themselves known commonly (and disparagingly) as “angst.” There is nothing worse for it then doing nothing with your life. Inactivity, isolation, and lack of direction feed it until that loneliness turns to depression… Or worse. If he can find something productive to do with his life and pursue it, being alone will mean nothing!

Who am I to tell you this? I grew up isolated from everything and everyone. My father is a clinically paranoid, emotionally and physically abusive tyrant who regrets nothing more in life then getting married and having kids. He resents his children so much that he refused to acknowledge that his first child was his (and accused my mother of cheating in the process), tore down every scrap of his wife’s self-esteem, forced her to quit her job, home school their three kids, and basically made our lives a living hell in the process. His paranoia usually manifested with him fabricating accusations against us and punishing us for things that never actually happened… It got to the point that every single day of our life was spent watching every single word we spoke simply so nothing could be construed as an insult. He’d antagonize us, trying to force a conflict, and then do everything possible to belittle and demean us when we snapped. I grew up with (literally) no friends, no life, and no physical or mental escape. We worked on renovating a house for the better part of our childhood, so free time was nonexistent… Anyway, you get the idea.

Now? I’m 17 years old, the youngest of three sons, and things are changing. The eldest has moved out (and gotten himself into a horrible relationship with a whore from New Jersey), the second is physically powerful and emotionally desperate enough to defend himself, and I somehow managed to keep myself more sane and stable then most average teenagers. My father has begun to realize that his children are willing to fight tooth and nail for their own self-determination, he can’t abuse us anymore because we’re all strong enough to defend ourselves, and his wife (who stayed with him purely for our sakes) can up and leave any time she wants and drag him through the mud… Things are changing. I started going to college when I was 16 and have been doing extremely well; I have a companion worth keeping, I have a few close friend and many acquaintances, and I have a passion for learning for its own sake.

The point I’m trying to make here is this – No one can make your life worthwhile but yourself. No one can hurt you, unless you give them the power to do so; no one can make your life better, unless you put forth the effort yourself; and no matter what, it can always be worse. Take nothing for granted, want nothing but that which you can obtain yourself, and enjoy every moment you can with as much passion as you can.

That is all.

adly this guy sounds like me - thelosing wait thing and the problem is chicks just dont notice me, im like invisible or something it sucks but w/e you know...;)

I have a friend in a similar situation who's 28. He's a nice guy, nothing bad I can say about his apperance or personality yet he's never had a g/f. No he's not gay either. He's v.quiet and doesn't know how to talk to women, I think he's a bit scared so doesn't attempt to engage in convo.

I'm similar though in respect of being quiet, I was single for nearly 6 years (and recently again) and everyone was asking if it was because I'm gay. How the fuck does that work? Single DOES NOT = GAY.

i totaly agree with shaolin single dont = gay dee dee dee.

but i also agree with radical, having a girlfriend aint all that important,

i totaly agree with shaolin single dont = gay dee dee dee.

but i also agree with radical, having a girlfriend aint all that important,

True...there's always porn!:D

http://home.maine.rr.com/waassaap/Forum%20Pictures/porncheaper.jpg

Seriously though, it's not essential, but when a relationship works (even if it's only for a short while) the happiness gained is worth the effort.

So, you sleep with him, but don't have sex...

You're confusing him!

Also, it's not all that unusual to be 16 and without a girlfriend.

Hes not an idiot. We do...other things...

You fondle this guy's biscuits, and you can't figure out why he isn't looking for a girl?

have you perchance seen "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind"? If not watch it I think it would help you see his point-of-view.

My personal opinion is that it's time for you to stop beating around the bush with terms such as "friends with benefits". The reason why your guy isn't looking for a girlfriend is that he already has a girlfriend - namely, you.

This message brought to you by the Guys Against Beating Around the Bush - leading girls to admit they're part of a couple since 2005.

This message brought to you by the Guys Against Beating Around the Bush - leading girls to admit they're part of a couple since 2005.

Thats a nice line. :p

Who am I to tell you this? I grew up isolated from everything and everyone. My father is a clinically paranoid, emotionally and physically abusive tyrant who regrets nothing more in life then getting married and having kids. He resents his children so much that he refused to acknowledge that his first child was his (and accused my mother of cheating in the process), tore down every scrap of his wife’s self-esteem, forced her to quit her job, home school their three kids, and basically made our lives a living hell in the process. His paranoia usually manifested with him fabricating accusations against us and punishing us for things that never actually happened… It got to the point that every single day of our life was spent watching every single word we spoke simply so nothing could be construed as an insult. He’d antagonize us, trying to force a conflict, and then do everything possible to belittle and demean us when we snapped. I grew up with (literally) no friends, no life, and no physical or mental escape. We worked on renovating a house for the better part of our childhood, so free time was nonexistent… Anyway, you get the idea.

This is almost identical to what happened to me. Ehh.

My personal opinion is that it's time for you to stop beating around the bush with terms such as "friends with benefits". The reason why your guy isn't looking for a girlfriend is that he already has a girlfriend - namely, you.

This message brought to you by the Guys Against Beating Around the Bush - leading girls to admit they're part of a couple since 2005.

I am intrigued by your organisation and wish to apply for membership. Also, do you have a newsletter?