NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

I plan on taking over the world and telling my children that if they try to stage a coup I'll kill them.

If I have children I feel that, in twenty years, I should tell them:

"YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE, YOU BASTARDS! I HATE YOU!"

Heh the same sorta things I'm tellin' my kids now.

Be good, if ya can't be good don't get caught.

Here's you emergancy £20, use it only for emergancies.

Use the fuckin' dunkey boy!

Don't bring the police to my door.

Ultmatly do what makes you happy, not what me or your Mum would like for you.

Son: "What have you done in your life daddy?"
*realizes I've accomplished nothing*
Me: "What have you ever done aside from ruin your parent's sex life!?"
Son: "Huh?"
Me: "You got any trophies!? You got a college degree!? HUH!?"
Son: "Yeah I'm an NFL star and have my law and medical degrees."
Me: "I love you son."
*warm fuzzy hug*
Me: "Unlike your good for nothing sister who went to art school."
*She runs off crying*

Swearwords in every European language.

I own a football team. (http://www.myfootballclub.co.uk/)

i don't think i'll have children, but if i did i'd love to tell them that i've spend the last 10 years helping other people (working in 3rd world countries as a doctor preferably, but it can be in my own country too. It doesn't really have to be as a doctor but that seems most likely). i'd also like to have lived according to most of my own values as is humanly possible.
i'd also love to tell them that they have te most beautiful mother in the world, that would be rather cool.
finaly i'd also like to have seen a lot of the world by then.

i should keep this post somewhere and reread it in 20 years, and see how much came true :p

i'd also love to tell them that they have te most beautiful mother in the world, that would be rather cool.

Only because you want to shag the most beautiful woman in the world :p

considering as how the odds are pretty good i'll be 'pushing up daisies' in another 20 years, owing to as how i'm damd near 60 now, and that i've never caused any children to be born that i know of, its pretty darn unlikely that i will be telling their, in all probabilyt nonexistent selves, ANYTHING.

=^^=
.../\...

When the sounds of screaming and looting and riots in the streets come drifting in through the door, drowning out the sound of the television as CNN describes the burning of London and other major cities until my children run in and shut it, they will look at me. I will look at them. I will say, "You did this, didn't you?"

They will look at eachother guiltily and then they will nod slowly and reply in shaky voices, "Yes Father." And I will give them my sternest look and say, "Took you long enough."

:D

i'd tell them not to feel pressured into going to university just because everyone else is going.

Only because you want to shag the most beautiful woman in the world :p

did i ever say it was for another reason? :p

I'll tell them that spudguns are tools for pelting people with spuds, not toys.

I will not have children.

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

In the sadly unlikely event that I am ever the primary caregiver for a child, I would tear my guts out with a chainsaw before I would boast to them of my accomplishments.

THAT IS NOT WHAT KIDS ARE FOR.
*ahem*
Kids are not for anything. You are for them, or you find someone who is, and hand over the parenting to them.

Excuse me. Your thread popped into my sight at the exact wrong time.

Get a life. You aren't good enough yet to raise kids.

*ahem*
Yeah, I could say more.

EDIT: I should cough more. And say less. But this post was right from the heart, it said exactly what I thought and felt in the order I thought and felt apon reading the OP. Except for when I coughed. The first time, I very nearly used the caps-lock.

Children are an item that you possess in order to pass on stories of great accomplishments! What else are they for but not filling their heads with glorious rhetoric?

How does history continue if you do not give them a set of goals which they must use as a boundary for them to surpass? You are a failure if your children cannot defeat you through superior acts of greatness!

If I kill 20 Afghans I want them to kill 40.

If I make 100,000 dollars I want them to make 200,000.

If I have 3 children I want them to have 6.

History moves forward on the backs of great individuals.

Children are an item that you possess in order to pass on stories of great accomplishments! What else are they for but not filling their heads with glorious rhetoric?

How does history continue if you do not give them a set of goals which they must use as a boundary for them to surpass? You are a failure if your children cannot defeat you through superior acts of greatness!

If I kill 20 Afghans I want them to kill 40.

If I make 100,000 dollars I want them to make 200,000.

If I have 3 children I want them to have 6.

History moves forward on the backs of great individuals.

Correct answer. I am much mollified.

I dub thee ... Troll!
Arise, Troll Auman.

When the sounds of screaming and looting and riots in the streets come drifting in through the door, drowning out the sound of the television as CNN describes the burning of London and other major cities until my children run in and shut it, they will look at me. I will look at them. I will say, "You did this, didn't you?"

They will look at eachother guiltily and then they will nod slowly and reply in shaky voices, "Yes Father." And I will give them my sternest look and say, "Took you long enough."

:D

Holy living crap!

That's not Irony. It's more like, er ... Titaniumy ..?

Heavier than that. Osmiumy?

Oh, bollocks. I lose. But ...

You said "my children." Congratulations! ;)

My guess is you don't really get what this thread is about. The real concept is...what are your goals in life? What do you hope to accomplish in twenty years?

I guess I'll apologise to them...

My guess is you don't really get what this thread is about. The real concept is...what are your goals in life? What do you hope to accomplish in twenty years?

Accomplish? Absolutely nothing at all.

My guess is you don't really get what this thread is about. The real concept is...what are your goals in life? What do you hope to accomplish in twenty years?

I get what the thread was about. Your big fat ego, which your own body can not long contain. You boasted in the OP, then asked for opinions. You have mine.

It was harshly worded, because you defined the worth of a life as "what I will boast about to my kids." That hit a nerve with me, right now, and I admit my response was irrational.

Read Lunatic Goofballs' post. I can't do better than that.

Read it again.

If I'd read the entire short thread, as I should have, I would never have posted. It was done far better than I can yet do. If life achievments are the subject of the thread, fatherhood pisses all over your $100,000 (or whatever) a year, and it pisses on it year after year after year.

I would tell my kid, "you know you're the result of a broken condom." ;)

Just kidding.

I'd probably tell them about what a little brat I was when I was a kid and the stupid shit I did when I was their age.

I get what the thread was about. Your big fat ego, which your own body can not long contain. You boasted in the OP, then asked for opinions. You have mine.


I didn't see any boasting :confused:

If I happen to have children, I intend to apologize on behalf of myself, my parents, and my grandparnts for fucking this country up so badly for them.

If I make 100,000 dollars I want them to make 200,000.


Thanks inflation for that.

If I happen to have children, I intend to apologize on behalf of myself, my parents, and my grandparnts for fucking this country up so badly for them.

Same as I was going to do... but I'd apologise for fucking up the entire planet so badly....

I didn't see any boasting :confused:

You are perhaps a kinder soul than I. Treasure that, and I'm sorry I did nasty morlock stuff in your sight.

I would tell my kid, "you know you're the result of a broken condom." ;)

Just kidding.

I'd probably tell them about what a little brat I was when I was a kid and the stupid shit I did when I was their age.

Bwahahah that's funny. I told my youngest the other week that I'm not his Dad, we don't know his real Dads name all we have is the name of the ship he was on.

Heheh his poor little face!

You are perhaps a kinder soul than I. Treasure that, and I'm sorry I did nasty morlock stuff in your sight.

The OP couldn't have been boasting since it was talking about future hopes and dreams. Unless you want to count boasting about who is more ambitious I guess

You are perhaps a kinder soul than I. Treasure that, and I'm sorry I did nasty morlock stuff in your sight.

Arrrghh mole people!

Bwahahah that's funny. I told my youngest the other week that I'm not his Dad, we don't know his real Dads name all we have is the name of the ship he was on.

Heheh his poor little face!

That anecdote would be so much better with a picture. :D But wow, nice going! You get 3/4 weasel thumbs/seal approval.

Same as I was going to do... but I'd apologise for fucking up the entire planet so badly....

I was thinking of going that route, but the kid's going to have it hard enough as it is...best that he/she not think that everything was my fault. :p

That anecdote would be so much better with a picture. :D But wow, nice going! You get 3/4 weasel thumbs/seal approval.

Hey cheers. On a brighter not so much taking the piss outa my boys kinda way, I did overhear them talking to their mum about me the other day. She asked them what kinda Dad dad is, and the little one said he is a good Dad, coz he is always playing with us and making sure we have fun. The older one said, alright, he can be moaney, but only sometimes, and he is normaly fair and mostly lets me have what I want, to which he taked on a mumbled if we can afford it.

Heh sorry being a proud dad!

When the sounds of screaming and looting and riots in the streets come drifting in through the door, drowning out the sound of the television as CNN describes the burning of London and other major cities until my children run in and shut it, they will look at me. I will look at them. I will say, "You did this, didn't you?"

They will look at eachother guiltily and then they will nod slowly and reply in shaky voices, "Yes Father." And I will give them my sternest look and say, "Took you long enough."

:D
Well, at least you have good taste in movies.

Now, just to make sure that no-one takes me any more seriously than strictly necessary, I will quote the words of one of my all-time favourite songs.

I've played it to death, of course. Can't listen to it any more, but oh boy did I love this song back in my twenties (hint to OP: another assumption you made which might offend?)

Death or Glory by The Clash from album London Calling:

Every cheap hood
Strikes a bargain with the world,
Then ends up making payments
On a sofa or a girl.
"Love 'n' Hate" tattooed
'Cross the knuckles of his hands
The hands that slap-his-kids-around
'Cos they don't understand
(how)

(Chorus)
Death or Glory becomes
Just another story.
Death or Glory, it's
Just another story.

Every gimmick-hungry yob,
Digging gold from rock and roll
Grabs the mike to tell us
How he'll die before he's sold!
But I believe in this --
It's been tested by research --
He who fucks nuns
Will later join the church
(and)

(Chorus)

From every dingey basement
On every dingey street
I hear every dragging handclap
Over every dragging beat
That's just the beat of time:
The beat that must go on.
If you've been trying for years
Then we've 'ready heard your song:

(Chorus)

I'd tell them the same thing I'd tell them now:

I didn't want you then, and I still don't.

That this thread is closed.
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=526906
That i am going to bed.

I'd try to tell them the truth.

I'd try to tell them the truth.

Heheh and what would that be?

Hey cheers. On a brighter not so much taking the piss outa my boys kinda way, I did overhear them talking to their mum about me the other day. She asked them what kinda Dad dad is, and the little one said he is a good Dad, coz he is always playing with us and making sure we have fun. The older one said, alright, he can be moaney, but only sometimes, and he is normaly fair and mostly lets me have what I want, to which he taked on a mumbled if we can afford it.

Heh sorry being a proud dad!

No, no, you're absolutely allowed. Being a good parent is something to be proud of.

Arrrghh mole people!

Yes, we are moles. We dig up lawns. Your pretty lawns. But never mind, they will regenerate.

What? Yes of course the lawns. Not you! Perish the thought.

Here's a link to one copy of H. G. Wells's The Time Machine
It's out of copyright, so there will be other reproductions freely available.

While I am confident in saying that it rocks, I must caution readers that it is a novel. It will probably take several hours to read ... you could skim the first chapter tho.

yep you could print it. Don't forget to plant a tree!
H. G. Wells The Time Machine (http://www.online-literature.com/wellshg/timemachine/)

Doesn't it suck when some forum pest hijacks your thread?
Doesn't it suck when you sit for an hour and stew about the injustice of hijacking?
Doesn't it suck when you realize it was because your thread-starter sucked?

Mmmmm hopefully i'll never have kids - i despise them so very very much.

But if for some reason God felt fit to punish me with spawns of Satan, i hope i could tell that Mummy was a newsreader on Sky News... (thats my ultimate ambition anyway, but a long way 2 go yet!!)

"Son, come here and I'll show you how to make beer..."

Mmmmm hopefully i'll never have kids - i despise them so very very much.

But if for some reason God felt fit to punish me with spawns of Satan, i hope i could tell that Mummy was a newsreader on Sky News... (thats my ultimate ambition anyway, but a long way 2 go yet!!)


Hey first post! way to go!

Hey first post! way to go!

It's a quick descent into NSG addiction and damnation from here...

Parents don't boast to their children, they boast about their children, or nag them if they fall short of their expectations for them. I don't know how many times I've heard the immortal words "When i was your age...", clearly I fall short of the mark. Anyway, if I ever have kids then I'd be fairly happy if I wasn't a complete nag to them and they didn't find dozens of faults with my parenting (like I keep realizing all these stupid things that my parents did that I would NOT do to my kids). If they turned out to be fascinating human beings, then all the better.

:eek: I am gonna become an Electronics engineer so that I'll be able to tell my children about my brilliant inventions.Right now I m seeking admission to Intermediate(higher secondary,i.e.class 11)There are 7 Maths books and right now I've gone through 2 books in just 1 month and there's 1 month left before session starts.So,isn't that an appreciable achievement to tell others about.;)

If I have children I feel that, in twenty years, I should tell them:

"YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE, YOU BASTARDS! I HATE YOU!"

I have been told that a lot by my parents, it's very hurtful :(




what will I tell my kids in 20 years? hmm.... I don't know.

I don't know if I have any externally praise-able accomplishments. I will probably just be happy that I am alive and that they are alive, and hopefully their dad is alive.

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

I've already been to Afghanistan, and it wasn't worth the trip.

I already make 165,000 dollars a year.

I've already written a lot, but have never been published.

I have three children.

In twenty years, I hope to tell them that every politican alive today was just as wrong about the future as the politicians were in my childhood - that they had no fucking clue and no magic crystal ball that would give them the slightest inkling as to what would happen 20 years from now.

I get what the thread was about. Your big fat ego, which your own body can not long contain. You boasted in the OP, then asked for opinions. You have mine.

It was harshly worded, because you defined the worth of a life as "what I will boast about to my kids." That hit a nerve with me, right now, and I admit my response was irrational.

Read Lunatic Goofballs' post. I can't do better than that.

Read it again.

If I'd read the entire short thread, as I should have, I would never have posted. It was done far better than I can yet do. If life achievments are the subject of the thread, fatherhood pisses all over your $100,000 (or whatever) a year, and it pisses on it year after year after year.
Someones a grumpy puss.


I'd likely tell them, "Like your grandpa, your pop is an empty husk of unrealized lofty dreams that he's going to lay on your lap and tacitly imply that their unfullfilment is your fault. As a result I'm going to imply that you are a failure for not fulfilling them while simultaneously undermining you out of a lack of confidence and feeling of inadequacy if you actually accomplish what I didn't. Good luck sorting that mess out, champ!"

Im going to tell them how I took over the world. And then laugh malevolently.

I have been told that a lot by my parents, it's very hurtful :(

:(
:fluffle:

"You call that music? Back in my day you couldn't hear the words and the drummers knew nothing of dynamics and the guitarists thought that 'tone' was something you only got by turning all the knobs up full. Kids today with your quiet, well arranged, competently played so-called music. It makes me sick. GG Allin died so that you could listen to this socially acceptable, inoffensive pablum, you know that?"

I plan on telling my kids that i'm an Officer in the U.S Navy and I graduated from the U.S Naval Academy

"...and by the way, If you see your mom this weekend, will you be sure and tell her... Satan! Satan! Satan!"

"You call that music? Back in my day you couldn't hear the words and the drummers knew nothing of dynamics and the guitarists thought that 'tone' was something you only got by turning all the knobs up full. Kids today with your quiet, well arranged, competently played so-called music. It makes me sick. GG Allin died so that you could listen to this socially acceptable, inoffensive pablum, you know that?"

I declare you the winner! GGAlian did die so that we could listen to loud offensive music, with a fuck you on our lips, our mouths full of shit, and that sign being given with the fingers(yeah you know the one).

I'll be able to tell them my various future appliances aren't working and I need their help to fix them, I guess...

That this thread is closed.
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=526906
That i am going to bed.

It would have been much sweeter as a poll. Really can't see why twenty options shouldn't be possible in a poll, might just be a setting in vBulletin.

Oh, and you were making trouble. Someone has to do it ;)

Probably not a lot; I'm not going to have kids.

Someones a grumpy puss.

I'm OK with being animalized. But cats aren't my favourite animal.
In future, I'd like to be a grumpy penguin. Those little fellas have a knack of looking really, really pissed-off without it being threatening. :)


I'd likely tell them, "Like your grandpa, your pop is an empty husk of unrealized lofty dreams that he's going to lay on your lap and tacitly imply that their unfullfilment is your fault. As a result I'm going to imply that you are a failure for not fulfilling them while simultaneously undermining you out of a lack of confidence and feeling of inadequacy if you actually accomplish what I didn't. Good luck sorting that mess out, champ!"

Now look, I'm not a father (pretty sure about that, let's say 95%)
BUT, from what I've seen you'll get asked so many questions before the kid is old enough to understand the above rant, that you will seriously doubt your own grasp on reality.
"Yeah, but WHY?"
"No, but I asked WHY?"
"You still haven't said WHY!"

Oh shit. :(

Look, just repeat your rant to a 5-y-o until they can recite it by heart. Great for a laugh when friends are over. The kid will understand it about the time they deposit the first shovelful of dirt onto your coffin.

Your name has great purity, btw. One of a kind!

BUT, from what I've seen you'll get asked so many questions before the kid is old enough to understand the above rant, that you will seriously doubt your own grasp on reality.
"Yeah, but WHY?"
"No, but I asked WHY?"
"You still haven't said WHY!"


just in case you ever do get into that conversation, the best thing to do is to turn it around on them

"why do you think <insert question>?"

one of two things almost always happens

1. they have a great hilarious answer and you can play along and ask more questions "but why is that?"

2. they say "I don't know" and then you get to say "me either"

I'm OK with being animalized. But cats aren't my favourite animal.
In future, I'd like to be a grumpy penguin. Those little fellas have a knack of looking really, really pissed-off without it being threatening. :)
My nickname in real life is Walrus (long story, and it wasn't self applied), which would make you food. I didn't want to come off that aggressive. ;)




Now look, I'm not a father (pretty sure about that, let's say 95%)
BUT, from what I've seen you'll get asked so many questions before the kid is old enough to understand the above rant, that you will seriously doubt your own grasp on reality.
"Yeah, but WHY?"
"No, but I asked WHY?"
"You still haven't said WHY!"

Oh shit. :(

Look, just repeat your rant to a 5-y-o until they can recite it by heart. Great for a laugh when friends are over. The kid will understand it about the time they deposit the first shovelful of dirt onto your coffin.
The question was for 20 years from now. If I'm doing that to a 5 year old 20 years from now that would mean that I fathered the child at 50. While it might be nice to have evidence that I can still 'hit the target' at that age, it would still be a depressing prospect overall.

Second, as a former childrens entertainer and generally just someone who for some reason has a gift of being able to talk to children, I've never had a problem with the 'why' loop. In fact, it's one of the funnest things I do with my 7 year old nephew. Befuddling the lad might actually be considered a hobby of mine.

Your name has great purity, btw. One of a kind!
Actually, there are a few of us, I just bogarted the easy get by getting here early.

Now look, I'm not a father (pretty sure about that, let's say 95%)BUT, from what I've seen you'll get asked so many questions before the kid is old enough to understand the above rant, that you will seriously doubt your own grasp on reality.


Heh yeah I can vouch for that. I once got around of appluase from some other parents while in a shop one day and my then 3 yeard old pointed up to the celing, where some spiral shapes where twisting in the breeze of the AC unit they where attached to.

He asked me, 'Daddy what are them twisty things, up there twisting in the wind?'

I looked up, and said 'Well boy, they are twisty things that twist in the wind'

He was more than happy with his answer, and then the clapping started. Heheh I din't know wether to bow of be embaressed( I bowed, it is hard to embaress me)

If things turn out right...I'll tell them that I graduated from pharmacy school and I think that's about all...

A singer for a band. I write Awesome lyrics

When the sounds of screaming and looting and riots in the streets come drifting in through the door, drowning out the sound of the television as CNN describes the burning of London and other major cities until my children run in and shut it, they will look at me. I will look at them. I will say, "You did this, didn't you?"

They will look at eachother guiltily and then they will nod slowly and reply in shaky voices, "Yes Father." And I will give them my sternest look and say, "Took you long enough."

:D
Hah! I like your style, LG! *nods*

In 20 year I'll tell them my greatest acomplishment; I've have conviced everybody and the national government, that my shaved chimp, was actually a human child.

Then I'd tell my kid "that was you my son."

"Gee, Dad, when you killed all those people in the Middle East, did you get any satisfaction out of all that killing?"

"Killing? No. No satisfaction. Everything up until the killing was a gas."

The past 20 years sucked, the next 20 years will suck, and to be honest kids, life sucks...*drinks self to death*

I have no idea... :eek: Too far ahead. Eeek. I'll be 59!

I won't be having any. :p

The past 20 years sucked, the next 20 years will suck, and to be honest kids, life sucks...*drinks self to death*
www.lifesucks.info

Yay kids. What would I like to tell them in 20 years? .. hmm...

Yes son.. your father used to be the president. (then proceed to laugh as he looks over and over again through the history book)

Seeing how old I would be in 20 years.. my kids if any would probably be youngins.. 10 at the oldest 2 at the least or somethin or other.

Or even better.. look your baby in the eye,

Me: "Son.. your mother is the hottest sex machine God created and I love her. Don't ever tell her I told you this ok?"
Baby: "brrrp.... pfffffttt..... WAHHH!"

--------------------------

Warning we have a troll on the loose! Warning! Warning!

(yeah Im a little hyper. Mixed with your apparent bad-hair day w/e ain't gonna yield much good :D )

Btw do you turn to stone in the day light?

"I name you after Horatio Hornblower and Horatio Nelson. Not the shitty actor on that CSI show."

"You were named after a musician who played the guitar and died from choking on his own vomit after an overdose."

"Your mother once gave me a ___________ with a ________ to go on a public bench, then slapped me."

Here's you emergancy £20, use it only for emergancies.


So...that's going to be spent on candy or condoms.

Or at least, that's what I'm guessing.

"Your mother is a great woman. Try to be like her rather than me."

If I have children I feel that, in twenty years, I should tell them:

"YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE, YOU BASTARDS! I HATE YOU!"

You know, my dad's actually said that to me quite a few times. In much more derogatory speech, but all the same, really.

I sit at my desk, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements. But I'll also make a lot of money, which is good. My job's solely for the money, so I can use it to get what I want to do done and have enough for anything I might want in the future.

I'll also have a ton of kickass technological gadgetry and miscellany, but I think showing them to the kids will just scare them if they're too young. But then again, I guess I could claim to be a superhero/mad scientist or something, but I might as well just wait until they're older.

I also want to take a year-long trip through Africa and another year-long trip along the Silk Road, so those should be pretty interesting. I'd also like to do a similar trip through Europe and the Middle East at some point.

"Hey, kiddies, you were a mistake."

I plan on taking over the world and telling my children that if they try to stage a coup I'll kill them.

Unlike this individual, I actually plan to take over part of the world.

i will tell them what my father always told me.


Flashback

"Son, do you know why dogs lick their balls?"

"Why, dad?"

"Because they can. Thats an important lesson in life."

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

since I'm close to 40 now...

*sits back*

oh the tales I'll tell.

'I was on NSG'

Tell them there was a terrible secret surrounding their birth - they were summoned from hell in an occult ceremony performed by Nazis as the key to Ragnarok.

Me: "Kids, now that you're all grown up, it's time I told you the truth... I'm really not a superhero, I just like running around the neighborhood at night wearing tights and a cape."

Kids: "Yeah, we kinda of figured that out when we found out that your
'Fortress of Solitude' was a closet filled with porno mags and lotion."

Me: "Yeah well... tell the orderly it's time for my medication!"

You know, my dad's actually said that to me quite a few times. In much more derogatory speech, but all the same, really.

:(

I'm beginning to feel that joke didn't work very well.

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

I intend to knock it around a little, travel through Europe, get a gf, start a metal cover band, and get an apartment. Possibly a family, if I feel like it. Not necessarily in that order.

First of all, when (not if!!!) I have kids, I'll tell'em I love'em.

And who knows what I will accomplish till then?

So far, I've managed to stay alive for 30+ years. Huh. Beat that.

Then we're talking!

:(

I'm beginning to feel that joke didn't work very well.

I know it was a joke, man. And it's not like his nastiness depresses me or anything. It just makes me dislike him more in that sense. :p

As for what I'd tell my kids? That's kind of depressing, since my life hasn't even started yet. I might get back to you when I'm 30.

"I name you after Horatio Hornblower and Horatio Nelson. Not the shitty actor on that CSI show."

"You were named after a musician who played the guitar and died from choking on his own vomit after an overdose."

If in later years I ever meet anyone named Hornblower Nelson Hendrix Fleckenstein, I'll know where to lay the blame.

In 20 years, I hope to tell my kids that we are all going to Stockholm, Sweden. Why?

So I can recieve my Nobel Prize, of course.

Just to note, I hope to marry and have kids within a few years.

well we all are technically leaders of entire nations









(on the internet)

I plan on taking over the world and telling my children that if they try to stage a coup I'll kill them.don't forget to follow the "Evil overlord" list.

Unlike this individual, I actually plan to take over part of the world.

and both of you need to go back to school.
http://www.evil-comic.com/comics/e20050803.gif

If in later years I ever meet anyone named Hornblower Nelson Hendrix Fleckenstein, I'll know where to lay the blame.

Eh, I just wanna name my son Horatio. :D EDIT: With a middle name of Leopold. It's my guess at my great-grandfather's middle initials of H.L.

That, and bless my other son with a IV at the end of his name.

if i have kids in 20 years i'll be... *counts fingers*... 40 something and i'll probably tell them to go clean there room, cuz that's what you do with 8 year olds. disgusting bastards.

First, you're assuming too much. Your kids won't be wondering about what you did--it's all about them.
And if you say that their mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, they will think that you're being gross. Mothers can't be beautiful--they're old school, yesterday's bread, the Supreme Vagina, and that's too horrifying a truth for any kid to fathom.
But if believing all that sentimental muck helps the species to survive by inspiring you to go procreate, please instead make a sandwich and go sit on a rock. Then repeat this 30x: Having kids is not about you.

I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year.

Hey, me too! After all, minimum wage will probably be around $100,000/year in 2027, given inflation. So why not? :D

Now, just to make sure that no-one takes me any more seriously than strictly necessary, I will quote the words of one of my all-time favourite songs.

I've played it to death, of course. Can't listen to it any more, but oh boy did I love this song back in my twenties (hint to OP: another assumption you made which might offend?)

Death or Glory by The Clash from album London Calling:

Every cheap hood
Strikes a bargain with the world,
Then ends up making payments
On a sofa or a girl.
"Love 'n' Hate" tattooed
'Cross the knuckles of his hands
The hands that slap-his-kids-around
'Cos they don't understand
(how)

(Chorus)
Death or Glory becomes
Just another story.
Death or Glory, it's
Just another story.

Every gimmick-hungry yob,
Digging gold from rock and roll
Grabs the mike to tell us
How he'll die before he's sold!
But I believe in this --
It's been tested by research --
He who fucks nuns
Will later join the church
(and)

(Chorus)

From every dingey basement
On every dingey street
I hear every dragging handclap
Over every dragging beat
That's just the beat of time:
The beat that must go on.
If you've been trying for years
Then we've 'ready heard your song:

(Chorus)

Dude. You're being a Jerk. I think I'm gonna go to the Modcave.

Well, say you have/adopt/inherit children. What will you be able to tell them about your accomplishments? What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?

When I'm in my forties I fully intend to be able to tell my kids I've been to Afghanistan. I intend to be able to tell them I bring in paycheques in excess of 100,000 dollars per year. I intend to write a novel.

What do you guys plan on doing with your lives?

Nothing, I'll just give them the silent treatment.

Since my children currently range in age from 13 to 23, I won't say a thing, I'll be too busy rolling on the floor laughing my ass off as they deal with their own children.:D

Children are an item that you possess in order to pass on stories of great accomplishments! What else are they for but not filling their heads with glorious rhetoric?

How does history continue if you do not give them a set of goals which they must use as a boundary for them to surpass? You are a failure if your children cannot defeat you through superior acts of greatness!

If I kill 20 Afghans I want them to kill 40.

If I make 100,000 dollars I want them to make 200,000.

If I have 3 children I want them to have 6.

History moves forward on the backs of great individuals.

What, 200,000 dollars is a lot of money?

What do you intend to do with your lives in the next twenty years?
I'm going to make a world for them in which they'll be able to achieve their own goals in life. At least, try. And even if I only partially succeed, it'll have been time well spent.

I'm going to make a world for them in which they'll be able to achieve their own goals in life. At least, try. And even if I only partially succeed, it'll have been time well spent.

Well ok. For me that would be a start. For me I'd do all that, then buy a bag of chips. I like chips. :cool:

The likelihood of me having children or even being able to afford to keep children is quite low, but if the question of lifetime achievements came up I'd probably have to steer the conversation elsewhere. Or just start talking about sex to get rid of them.

I'm going to tell my kids that they should never date a fireperson, a policeperson, or a military person. Just like my mother told me.

I'm going to tell my kids that they should never date a fireperson, a policeperson, or a military person. Just like my mother told me.

or a doctor.

or a doctor.

Please tell me this is reverse psychology :eek:

or a doctor.

Doctor is their choice. Some people are career people and they don't mind when both parties work long, stressful hours.

Widow(er) is nobody's choice.

Please tell me this is reverse psychology :eek:

No, doctors aren't great spouses. But as I said, I wouldn't say not to do it, they just need to know what they're getting into.

No, doctors aren't great spouses. But as I said, I wouldn't say not to do it, they just need to know what they're getting into.

Damn good thing my girlfriend is a medical student too

Damn good thing my girlfriend is a medical student too

Yeah, if both people are doctors then it's different.

What do I aspire to? Any number of callings, from a teacher (admittedly at a public school:D), to a sports journalist, to a politician, to a writer. I daresay I could do all as well, however, in reality, that I earnt sufficient money to allow my children to escape the necessity to use public education and healthcare. Beyond that, I don't really care. If I ever have children, I'll be shocked.

hey kids i started playing this game called nationstates 20 years ago.

What will I say to my kid in 20 years? Probably something along these lines.

hush little girl
there is no reason to fret, tonight
don't mind the smoke, daddy just wants to forget, tonight
soon it will all be like it was before
any minute, she will walk through that front door

but daddy plays poker and drinks lots of beer
then he wants sex that involves mommy's rear
daddy has sores on his naughty parts oozing with pus
i think thats why mommy left us

What do I plan on doing with my life...

Not defining it by my paycheque, for one.

And I'm already doing it. I've being doing activist work around social justice issues since I was in high school. Everything I've done since then has been to give me better tools to continue on in that vein. A degree in Education, working on one in Law. 'Stuff' doesn't interest me, so I could care less how much I accumulate in the next twenty years.

Mmmmm hopefully i'll never have kids - i despise them so very very much.

But if for some reason God felt fit to punish me with spawns of Satan, i hope i could tell that Mummy was a newsreader on Sky News... (thats my ultimate ambition anyway, but a long way 2 go yet!!)
*Impregnates*
I'm going to tell my kids that they should never date a fireperson, a policeperson, or a military person. Just like my mother told me.
Really?
My Grandpappy said.
"No Blacks, no Jews and no Ities!"
---------------------------------
Really i'd say to my kids, i really don't know how you came about.:/
That and...
"No Blacks, no Jews and no Ities!"