NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/05/10/ipods_break_hearts/

iPods 'mess with pacemakers'
Granny loves her iPod, bless her - OH MY GOD!!

iPods have joined late-opening restaurants and children playing on old people's lawns on the list of things that can make pacemakers go haywire.

A new study, presented today to a meeting of heart specialists by a 17-year-old high school student, suggests that the music-playing device can interfere with the electromagnetic equipment in implanted pacemakers.

Reuters reports 100 pacemaker patients (with a mean age of 77) were examined in the study.

Holding the iPod just two inches away from their chests for 5 to 10 seconds was enough to cause electrical interference half the time. In some cases, iShenanigans could be detected as far as 18 inches away. The interference usually just caused the equipment to misread the heart's pacing, but one case caused the pacemaker to stop working entirely.

But before you buy grandpa a gift to speed up that inheritance money; none of the symptoms are life-threatening, and the pacemakers returned to normal when the iPods were shut off.

Jay Thaker, a student at Okemos High School in Michigan, co-authored the the report with a friend of his father, Dr. Krit Jongnarangsin, an assistant professor in the Division of Cardiovascular Medicine at the University of Michigan.

The iPod was the only portable music player tested in the study.

The reason why it this hasn't been caught before?

"Most pacemaker patients are not iPod users," Jongnarangsin said. ®

This menace is striking some of our most vulnerable citizens. It must be stopped at once.

I think they'll be fine.

I think they'll be fine.

I suppose that depends what they listen to. Something with a fast beat, and they'll be fitter than ever before. Vera Lynn, though, could kill them.

I suppose that depends what they listen to. Something with a fast beat, and they'll be fitter than ever before. Vera Lynn, though, could kill them.

Doctor: I'm putting you on a strict regimen of speed metal.

At least they would have died listening to some of their favourite tunes.

This menace is striking some of our most vulnerable citizens. It must be stopped at once.
-- Doctor, it hurts when I do this...
-- Well, don't do that!

We are going to be having trouble with Social Security soon, perhaps bumping off the elderly with iPods could stave of disaster for awhile.

We are going to be having trouble with Social Security soon, perhaps bumping off the elderly with iPods could stave of disaster for awhile.

Hmmm, I like how you think, step into my office.

Steve Jobs wants to kill your dear old granny.

Steve Jobs wants to kill your dear old granny.

So? At this point it'd be welcoming, for her and the family, everyone wins!

So? At this point it'd be welcoming, for her and the family, everyone wins!

iPodthanasia?

... this would make for an interesting mystery...

I just saw th anchorman saying that on TV, however it was "up next". So I figured it was dangerous for old people in general rather than those with pacemakers.

At least my mom can use her iPod around Grandma :p

... this would make for an interesting mystery...

I can see the next CSI episode!

"We'v found the body of an old man in the park."
"REally?"
"Yeah, look at the photos."
"But... but.. he's totally unharmed!"
"Yes... but he wasn't poisoned either..."
"So what killed him?"
"I dunno... his pacemaker apparently just stopped working."

Then at the end it turns out that he was standing too close to a kid with an iPod. :p

Though thankfully iPods aren't deadly, but of course CSI won't say that :D

Kids dont like old people anyway, they are safe.

Kids dont like old people anyway, they are safe.

O RLY? My grandma's awesome. Though she doesn't have a pacemaker and I don't have an iPod.

Sucks for the free jazz affeciandos.

I can see the next CSI episode!

"We'v found the body of an old man in the park."
"REally?"
"Yeah, look at the photos."
"But... but.. he's totally unharmed!"
"Yes... but he wasn't poisoned either..."
"So what killed him?"
"I dunno... his pacemaker apparently just stopped working."

Then at the end it turns out that he was standing too close to a kid with an iPod. :p

Though thankfully iPods aren't deadly, but of course CSI won't say that :D
...
actually, some stop working... so there can be a story there... unfortunatly, I don't think I could post it because it might give others "ideas"...

If you own an Ipod or a Bluetooth, you are in the upper echelon of douchebaggery. Right next to people who use spray tans, and those who wear beaters out in public.

If you own an Ipod or a Bluetooth, you are in the upper echelon of douchebaggery. Right next to people who use spray tans, and those who wear beaters out in public.

I stole mine, does that make it less bad?

I stole mine, does that make it less bad?

Yes, you are shifted down a category joining fat people without shirts, and parents who ignoring their annoying child.

Luporum, please share your problem with us. It looks like your bitchy behavior is caused by something that isnt going very well if your life.

Luporum, please share your problem with us. It looks like your bitchy behavior is caused by something that isnt going very well if your life.

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)

hey... if they are willing to do that to themselves... we should at least give them credit and laugh at their efforts. :p

reminds me of an episode of "The Real Wedding Crashers" where they tricked one of the bridesmaids into thinking they turned another of the Bride's friends orange... :D

Luporum, please share your problem with us. It looks like your bitchy behavior is caused by something that isnt going very well if your life.

I'm guessing you're listening to Nickleback on your Ipod in one ear, talking to your girlfriend on a Bluetooth, wearing a beater while your child is over at Denny's screaming his head off, and to top it all off you look like an ompalumpa?

I'm guessing you're listening to Nickleback on your Ipod in one ear, talking to your girlfriend on a Bluetooth, wearing a beater while your child is over at Denny's screaming his head off, and to top it all off you look like an ompalumpa?

No, I´m taking a picture of the tip of my penis.

No, I´m taking a picture of the tip of my penis.

:D

Wait a minute...

D:

D:

D:

No, I´m taking a picture of the tip of my penis.

o.O'

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)

:eek: OMG, what are those?!?!?

Let's start a NationStates General collection fund. Once we get enough money we can all send a gift package to the White House.

A large barrel of pretzels for George, and an I-Pod for Dick.

:D

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)

Now we just have to determine who is stupider, the guys who put on the Spray on tan, or the girls who are willing to be seen in public with them?

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)
Bah, get in line. I've been convinced mankind no longer deserves to exist since they cancelled Futurama. Actually, I probably believed it even before then, but Futurama was really the last straw.
Damn them, the bastards.

If you own an Ipod or a Bluetooth, you are in the upper echelon of douchebaggery. Right next to people who use spray tans, and those who wear beaters out in public.

Um, Bluetooth isn't a device :confused:

Um, Bluetooth isn't a device :confused:

Bluetooths are the little hands free cell phones that you clip on your ear. Essentially making you look like you're talking to yourself as you go out into public.

please tell me this thread is a joke, please.... :headbang:

Hmmm, I like how you think, step into my office.

*enters, hoping for job*

please tell me this thread is a joke, please.... :headbang:

The title is, the story isn't.

Bluetooths are the little hands free cell phones that you clip on your ear. Essentially making you look like you're talking to yourself as you go out into public.

I fucking hate those.

I'm convined mankind no longer deserves to exist after seeing this. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Luporum/cremejv0.jpg)

:eek: ...Oh GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!?

:eek: ...Oh GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!?

What is this that stands before me?
Orangey thing which points at me
Find out I'm the chosen one
Oh no!

What is this that stands before me?
Orangey thing which points at me
Find out I'm the chosen one
Oh no!

*Twitch*

Is...is...is that a parody of the lyrics to "N.I.B."?

I think that's the right song...