NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/05/02/flash_chip_messiah/

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Jesus appears in Samsung Flash memory chip
Electron microscopy reveals 4-gig Messiah
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Wednesday 2nd May 2007 11:27 GMT

True believers and Golden Palace Casino take note: we have just received news that Our Lord has manifested himself in a four-gig Samsung Flash memory chip - complete with beard and ethereal "flower petal halo" effect.

A simulacrum of Jesus in a Samsung flash memory chipYay verily, as the Bible sayeth (Luke 21:27): "At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory." Bendeth thine ears also to the words of Matthew 24:27: "For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the Son of man."

Well, four gigs is plenty of power by anyone's reckoning, and as for "the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west", that's just too spooky to be coincidence. Time to repent, and no mistake.

For the record, and before we all nip to the pub for one last pint before the final judgement, the Flash Messiah was revealed by Chipworks using transmission electron microscopy. The company's Dick James explained to El Reg: "We often get dark fringe lines in the silicon, and in this case it looks like there was some holy influence." ®
Bootnote

Several hardened atheists here at Vulture Central have suggested this is in fact Gandalf - a heretical suggestion given that Gandalf is a fictional character without the power to manifest himself in silicon. We have, accordingly, emailed their details to the Spanish Inquisition.

Fantastic! I love these stories :)

So...have you seen an image of God?

I haven't. I did see a unicorn once but that was after too much high quality white lightening.

No matter how many images of him we see, jesus is still dead, and will never come back.

Looks more like Saruman to me.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/05/02/flash_chip_messiah/

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg



Fantastic! I love these stories :)

So...have you seen an image of God?

I haven't. I did see a unicorn once but that was after too much high quality white lightening.

...where's Jesus there? I'm seeing two large triangles around a vaguely cylindrical object, not Jesus. Maybe I'm just blind.

In any case, only fools would believe something like this. It is human nature to look for patterns in objects and to occasionally see that which really isn't there. We interpret based on our own knowledge, and oftentimes that interpretation is wrong.

I'm reminded of two things...

A tortilla chip in New Mexico that thousands of people visit every year because it seems to be burnt in a pattern of Jesus' face.

A window that people protested being cleaned on a building in a large city because an image of 'christ' appeared on it from the smog.

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Looks vaguely like Sho Nuff. *nod*

http://forum.surfermag.com/photopost/data/505/2069sho-nuff.JPG

Am I the only one who thinks that Jesus is a bit of an underachiever?

"I'm the incarnation of an omnipotent being! Behold my power!"

*puts a picture of himself on a photographic film/piece of linen/toasted cheese sandwich*

I mean dude, learn some new tricks already, this is getting old. How about turning Pat Robertson into a flamboyant homosexual in the middle of his tv show or something like that?

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg


He looks rather pissed off, doesn't he? :p

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Looks vaguely like Sho Nuff. *nod*

http://forum.surfermag.com/photopost/data/505/2069sho-nuff.JPG

LMAO! :D

Am I the only one who thinks that Jesus is a bit of an underachiever?

"I'm the incarnation of an omnipotent being! Behold my power!"

*puts a picture of himself on a photographic film/piece of linen/toasted cheese sandwich*

I mean dude, learn some new tricks already, this is getting old. How about turning Pat Robertson into a flamboyant homosexual in the middle of his tv show or something like that?
Nah...why bother? He knows he's a fictional character in some book of fables anyway.

To me it actually gives the feeling of a D&D PC Game-Portrait for some Lawful Evil Warlock.

To me it actually gives the feeling of a D&D PC Game-Portrait for some Lawful Evil Warlock.

Yeah, that's what I thought, too... Looks quite frightening to me, that guy. I imagine Jesus to look somehow... friendlier. O.o

Well I'm convinced. Beam me up Jesus, I'm coming to join you.

Well I'm convinced. Beam me up Jesus, I'm coming to join you.

How far do you trust Samsung hardware? ;)

It looks like Jesus is trying to be the Master Control Program.

Or is that the Messiah Control Program?

:D

Yeah, that's what I thought, too... Looks quite frightening to me, that guy. I imagine Jesus to look somehow... friendlier. O.o

How friendly would you be after getting crucified?

How far do you trust Samsung hardware? ;)
When it comes to beaming? Not very far.

It is the coming of Wwwyzzerdd!

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/af/Wwwyzzerddcom.jpg

Guys, stop being such jerks to Jesus! :sniper:

He's my homeboy.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/05/02/flash_chip_messiah/

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg


That doesn't look anything like Jesus. Looks more like some sort of tribal mask rather than Jesus.

That is definitely Ian McKellen.

Dude, he has a WIZARD hat. That's clearly Gandalf the Grey.

i think more likely we just found where bin laden's been hiding all this time.

i think more likely we just found where bin laden's been hiding all this time.

You know, now that you mention it...

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Looks vaguely like Sho Nuff. *nod*

http://forum.surfermag.com/photopost/data/505/2069sho-nuff.JPG
Shogun of Harlem! It's a clear sign of the coming of the Last Dragon!
It is the coming of Wwwyzzerdd!

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/af/Wwwyzzerddcom.jpg
Also quality.

...I put on my robe and wizard hat...







HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Sweet Zombie Jesus has returned! And he's hungry!

Don't chip designers put these kind of things in intentionally? Like, I remember seeing a website somewhere of tiny tiny Mickey Mouses drawn on microchips.

Jesus saves. I just hope he remember to do the backups as well.

Is that a Magen David in the background?
http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg
Why does Jesus have butterfly wings growing out of his head? :confused:

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg
Why does Jesus have butterfly wings growing out of his head? :confused:

That's how He ascended to Heaven. Duh. :rolleyes:

No matter how many images of him we see, jesus is still dead, and will never come back.

Can you show us a body to prove he is dead?

Can you show us a body to prove he is dead?

http://www.nndb.com/people/908/000025833/FredPhelps.jpg

No matter how many images of him we see, jesus is still dead, and will never come back.

Careful there ye big lukewarm soul! I wouldn't want you to stub your toe. That'd hurt. A lot.


Besides, thats not JC, that's Dumbledore. And I haven't even looked at it. Why would I need to?:p

Images are put on chips all the time.

Careful there ye big lukewarm soul! I wouldn't want you to stub your toe. That'd hurt. A lot.


Besides, thats not JC, that's Dumbledore. And I haven't even looked at it. Why would I need to?:p

It doesn't look like Dumbledore either...

just looks like a biker i know

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Meh. Looks more like:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a4/Baphomet.png/250px-Baphomet.png

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g216/lestat0815/Baphomet.jpg

That's the scariest Jesus I've ever seen.

Jesus saves. I just hope he remember to do the backups as well.

Jesus saves.

Moses invests.

Jesus saves.

Moses invests.

Moses making a killing on the stock market

Gandalf lives! Jesus never did.

That picture of the Silicon Messiah didn't make any sense to me - until I turned it upside down:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/SiliconMessiah.jpg

Now it's clear to see what's depicted:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/WhatIsee.jpg

That's the scariest Jesus I've ever seen.

That's because it's really Wwwyzzerdd

Can you show us a body to prove he is dead?

James Cameron (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6397373.stm) can. :p

http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

Looks vaguely like Sho Nuff. *nod*

http://forum.surfermag.com/photopost/data/505/2069sho-nuff.JPG

I was going to say it looked like Frank Zappa.

I was going to say it looked like Frank Zappa.

My other choice was Jules from Pulp Fiction:
http://regmedia.co.uk/2007/05/02/jesus.jpg

http://eurweb.com/images/articles/200411/samuel_l_jackson(pulp-fiction-med).jpg

But I decided that Sho Nuff was slightly funnier.

But only slightly. :)

*shakes head*
Clearly you haven't looked at

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=526087

Oh, come on! Don't you see what I'm seeing?