NationStates Jolt Archive

In Freshman Seminar, we're always talking about colleges and stuff, and what colleges and universities expect, etc. It's informative, but it's making me feel that, once again, I'm not good enough.

I was never good enough in middle school. I tried out for basketball and track in seventh grade and didn't make it because A- I wasn't as good as the other girls and B- the coaches picked favorites. Guess which hurt worse? I never got past fourth or fifth chair in band, I never got honor roll, never made it to any sports teams. I rarely got invited anywhere, and when I did get invited I never knew anybody. I always got blamed for stuff in middle school. In my own neighborhood people don't want to talk to me and never have wanted to. In fact in the eight years I've lived in this neighborhood, I've only made 3 friends... in the eight years I've lived in the town, I don't have many friends.

In grades two through eight I constantly heard that I was ugly or stupid. I used to have this brown spot on my front tooth (souvenir from when I was really sick when I was five), and in third grade I started getting acne. Of course I'm one of the smartest people in my class (and always have been) but it doesn't matter how much I know, I apparently don't know anything and should stop correcting people when they say something that's totally wrong.

Of course, I'm going to hear "defend yourself" "report somebody" WHEN THE HELL HAS THAT EVER WORKED?!?!?!?!?! When I tried to stick up for myself, I was called stupid and I was told to shut up and that nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. I never did report anybody, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE TRIPE I ALWAYS HEARD! Obviously it didn't help, but all I ever got was "keep trying, keep trying" and "grow up". I have a few choice words for them, but I don't like to cuss excessively on the internet so I will not say them here.

So, I entered high school. I finally had confidence. But once I got a new boyfriend, he had to pull a <insert my middle school> and ditch me. I got over it, but once Freshman Seminar started, I lost my self-esteem. College is all about finding your strengths and talents, and apparently I have none except writing and band. That's the whole career thing too, and again, my only real talents are writing and band, it's not going to get me far beyond college. I don't have social skills, I don't get the besst grades, I don't always do my school work. I don't have anything that would help me past high school.

If living in this cesspit of a town has taught me anything, it's that I officially fail at life.

:eek:

Woah there! Life is more than school and career. You'll find that once you get out of the school atmosphere, a lot of the 'pressure factor' dissappears. You can't evaluate yourself on your marketable skills alone. Go to school, get something, and see what you can do with it. But don't for a second think that it somehow shows how you fail or pass at life.

Here's what's important in life; Being Happy. That's it. Bobby McFerrin actually had it right. Laugh, live and don't despair about the rules of the rat race. You're going to be fine.

I um...not sure what you want us to say, or whether this was just an exercise in angst.

People have shitty childhoods, that's fairly common. I will suggest that at your age and place in life, you probably haven't done enough to even begin to know what you're good at. That is largely what college is for, in many way. Ever taken a lit class? Computers? Biology? Economics? Math?

The options of what to be good at in highschool is pathetically small compared to any sense of actual stuff to do.

In Freshman Seminar, we're always talking about colleges and stuff, and what colleges and universities expect, etc. It's informative, but it's making me feel that, once again, I'm not good enough.

I was never good enough in middle school. I tried out for basketball and track in seventh grade and didn't make it because A- I wasn't as good as the other girls and B- the coaches picked favorites. Guess which hurt worse? I never got past fourth or fifth chair in band, I never got honor roll, never made it to any sports teams. I rarely got invited anywhere, and when I did get invited I never knew anybody. I always got blamed for stuff in middle school. In my own neighborhood people don't want to talk to me and never have wanted to. In fact in the eight years I've lived in this neighborhood, I've only made 3 friends... in the eight years I've lived in the town, I don't have many friends.

In grades two through eight I constantly heard that I was ugly or stupid. I used to have this brown spot on my front tooth (souvenir from when I was really sick when I was five), and in third grade I started getting acne. Of course I'm one of the smartest people in my class (and always have been) but it doesn't matter how much I know, I apparently don't know anything and should stop correcting people when they say something that's totally wrong.

Of course, I'm going to hear "defend yourself" "report somebody" WHEN THE HELL HAS THAT EVER WORKED?!?!?!?!?! When I tried to stick up for myself, I was called stupid and I was told to shut up and that nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. I never did report anybody, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE TRIPE I ALWAYS HEARD! Obviously it didn't help, but all I ever got was "keep trying, keep trying" and "grow up". I have a few choice words for them, but I don't like to cuss excessively on the internet so I will not say them here.

So, I entered high school. I finally had confidence. But once I got a new boyfriend, he had to pull a <insert my middle school> and ditch me. I got over it, but once Freshman Seminar started, I lost my self-esteem. College is all about finding your strengths and talents, and apparently I have none except writing and band. That's the whole career thing too, and again, my only real talents are writing and band, it's not going to get me far beyond college. I don't have social skills, I don't get the besst grades, I don't always do my school work. I don't have anything that would help me past high school.

If living in this cesspit of a town has taught me anything, it's that I officially fail at life.

You sound like most kids. You don't fail at life, though it my seem like it. You will be fine, things work themselves out. I used to think I could never get a job or get into a good uni. Couldn't get hired because I didn't have experience, couldn't get experience without getting hired. Never thought I could get into a really good uni. because I slacked in high school. Somewhere along the line things happened, I got a job and got into a good uni. To sum up. don't worry things will work out, they always do.

All they teach us in school is that after we leave school, we must get a job or go to college... and then get a job. That's the primary focus, apparently.

Well...yeah, sorta. As it should be, in a way. The job of the school is to prepare you for your future. Typically that future involves finding a way to sustain yourself.

But it's only rarely that I ever hear I'm good at something, and out of dozens of people I know, the only two who have ever told me I was good at something were the ones who raised me. Nobody else ever told me I was pretty, intelligent, talented, whatever.

That is, I fear, life. One rarely does hear when one does well, only when one does poorly. The trick is not to depend on others for validation. Find what you know you can do well. That will be true regardless of whether or not someone tells you that you do.

:eek:

Woah there! Life is more than school and career. You'll find that once you get out of the school atmosphere, a lot of the 'pressure factor' dissappears. You can't evaluate yourself on your marketable skills alone. Go to school, get something, and see what you can do with it. But don't for a second think that it somehow shows how you fail or pass at life.

Here's what's important in life; Being Happy. That's it. Bobby McFerrin actually had it right. Laugh, live and don't despair about the rules of the rat race. You're going to be fine.

All they teach us in school is that after we leave school, we must get a job or go to college... and then get a job. That's the primary focus, apparently.

But it's only rarely that I ever hear I'm good at something, and out of dozens of people I know, the only two who have ever told me I was good at something were the ones who raised me. Nobody else ever told me I was pretty, intelligent, talented, whatever.

Makes me wonder if anyone knows how many times I plotted to run away...

All they teach us in school is that after we leave school, we must get a job or go to college... and then get a job. That's the primary focus, apparently.

But it's only rarely that I ever hear I'm good at something, and out of dozens of people I know, the only two who have ever told me I was good at something were the ones who raised me. Nobody else ever told me I was pretty, intelligent, talented, whatever.

Makes me wonder if anyone knows how many times I plotted to run away...

an how may time have we told you those thing too

I've been through the same thing, as have alot of people I knew. I did alright in school. I took AP classes, but I always ended up depending on the AP test because that was the only way I could pass the class. I was only part of the science fiction club in freshman year and after that, I just floated around and never bothered to do any extra curricular activities. Still, I was accepted to a decent university as were some of my friends.

You'll eventually find something you're good at. I know alot of people in college who didn't do anything in high school, but now they've found something they liked and now have something to pursue.

All they teach us in school is that after we leave school, we must get a job or go to college... and then get a job. That's the primary focus, apparently.

But it's only rarely that I ever hear I'm good at something, and out of dozens of people I know, the only two who have ever told me I was good at something were the ones who raised me. Nobody else ever told me I was pretty, intelligent, talented, whatever.

Makes me wonder if anyone knows how many times I plotted to run away...

As Arthais pointed out, that is a major function of schooling. However, there are people who continue to drift through life looking for validation in other's opinion. Don't worry, you're intelligent, you're talented, and you're pretty. You will meet people who tell you these things. But happiness comes first with self-validation.

As for plotting to run away... I think every teenager has contemplated it at one time or another. It's part of the process I guess. I went through that, and have often wondered what was going through my head, because my childhood (late childhood at any rate) was pretty good.

If living in this cesspit of a town has taught me anything, it's that I officially fail at life.
you don't fail at life.

no one ever fails at life.

but you do need to redo your outlook.

What do you like to do? what do you do in your spare time? what are your hobbies and interests?

To be "Gifted" is not a property of the present; it's just a property of the past. Some people got good breaks, some people used their time well, but ultimately that's all over with. You needn't let worries about achievement get you down. Achievements have, by their very nature, finished, and if all people get out of them is a sense of smug satisfaction then they're worthless compared to the power of hope for that which has yet to come.

So screw where we've come from. Seize the day and live for the future, because we can't change the past but we can make what we want of ourselves today and the world tomorrow.

an how may time have we told you those thing too

I know NSG has helped me with some of it, so :fluffle:x38423480934809. :fluffle:

But this is really the only place where I feel like people are listening to me, and my parents say I should go out and "be sociable" instead of playing on NSG all the time... I've already tried to socialize. I was bullied. at least 90% of this almost 5000-population town told me that I was stupid, ugly, I failed at life, I deserved what I got in school because I was cynical and didn't want to look at myself, that I basically failed at everything.

Now somebody's going to tell me to stop NationBlogging and stop being emo. When I'm actually crying. Someone who bullied me in middle school had the coutesy to tell me that I had unwittingly sat in this one seat that nobody is supposed to sit in. I hadn't realized it and he and his friend started laughing and told the girls sitting across from them. It happened in middle school and it's happening again in high school. :(

As Arthais pointed out, that is a major function of schooling. However, there are people who continue to drift through life looking for validation in other's opinion. Don't worry, you're intelligent, you're talented, and you're pretty. You will meet people who tell you these things. But happiness comes first with self-validation.

As for plotting to run away... I think every teenager has contemplated it at one time or another. It's part of the process I guess. I went through that, and have often wondered what was going through my head, because my childhood (late childhood at any rate) was pretty good.

I've been plotting since fifth grade. I actually made a pretty detailed plan in fifth grade, and in sixth I actually told my friends I was going to run away (though the way I said it could have meant I was going to skip classes). I actually tried to run this past Christmas, but my dad stopped me.

Being a teenager sucks, and high school sucks too.

I had my problems, and I guess most people had them too.

What I can say is that college, or work, can be a great experience. You meet more mature people that are willing to overlook your problems and help you find your own positive traits.

Now, social skills are important, so you have to work on them. I dont think any human being can properly develop alone, and developing with the help of others is far healthier, fun and fast.

About being cynical, well, maybe you do have to look at yourself. Only understanding yourself you can understand others. And once you understand yourself and everyone else, you understand the world. And that is when reality starts making sense, and you start making sense too.

I've been plotting since fifth grade. I actually made a pretty detailed plan in fifth grade, and in sixth I actually told my friends I was going to run away (though the way I said it could have meant I was going to skip classes). I actually tried to run this past Christmas, but my dad stopped me.

I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you will eventually graduate and have the ability to break out of the little town you've learned to despise. But you can't run away from life.

Maybe you just need to find some confidence-inspiring thing to do, like kung-fu? Being able to kick ass always kicks ass.

you don't fail at life.

no one ever fails at life.

but you do need to redo your outlook.

What do you like to do? what do you do in your spare time? what are your hobbies and interests?

Music, writing, internet, politics, satire, etc.

Not that anyone in my town cares, apparently your only interests are supposed to be MySpace and sports or else you fail. I can't find anyone else who is interested in the same stuff I am, except band... but that only lasts a semester. The other semester, I don't have anything.

Being a teenager sucks, and high school sucks too.

I had my problems, and I guess most people had them too.

What I can say is that college, or work, can be a great experience. You meet more mature people that are willing to overlook your problems and help you find your own positive traits.

Now, social skills are important, so you have to work on them. I dont think any human being can properly develop alone, and developing with the help of others is far healthier, fun and fast.

About being cynical, well, maybe you do have to look at yourself. Only understanding yourself you can understand others. And once you understand yourself and everyone else, you understand the world. And that is when reality starts making sense, and you start making sense too. Social skills are improtant, but I can't work on them now after eight years of being bullied and ignored, can I?

As for being cynical, I do understand myself, and I understand everybody else, plus I make sense to myself. Unfortunately this is what led me to (apparently) cynicism.

I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you will eventually graduate and have the ability to break out of the little town you've learned to despise. But you can't run away from life.

Maybe you just need to find some confidence-inspiring thing to do, like kung-fu? Being able to kick ass always kicks ass.

According to pretty much every adult I've spoken to, I've already had too many C's and D's (though only one D, and more B's than C's) to graduate, and I don't have any sports or anything other than band for extra-curriculars, so apparently it's going to be REALLY tough for me to graduate.

And martial arts never really interested me, besides there's hrdly anywhere to go for martial arts. :( I was in marching band though, and I'm going to go back to it in the fall. But then once band is done, I'll once again have nothing. And there's nothing else to do around here except sports and band.

Music, writing, internet, politics, satire, etc.

Not that anyone in my town cares, apparently your only interests are supposed to be MySpace and sports or else you fail. I can't find anyone else who is interested in the same stuff I am, except band... but that only lasts a semester. The other semester, I don't have anything.

rule number one. who cares what your town thinks. The important thing is that YOU think.

I've read your writing. it's good and has potential. So you have one skill... writing.

how good are you with your music? can you play an instrument? you can teach others. Second skill Music Teacher.

Combine the two and you can write music. ;)

as for the internet, it can be a tool to improve and market your skills. write a song and play it on the internet. Write a book and post it. as your skills improve, you will find you can make a living doing what you like to do.

Politics, Satire and whatever can provide a plethora of material to write about. Lyndon Johnson started her strip as a reflection of her home life. Cathy Guswite started off sending cartoon strips about her college life to her parents and look what happened to them. the same with Bill Keane (family Circus)

Perhaps you can do some writing and satire your home life, or even bring your nation to life in the printed world. the options are almost endless.

so no. you don't fail at life. Life has provided you with alot of material to use. ;)

Pancake, I mean no offense or condescension in this, but: Your problems sound pretty typically teenage. In high school, people are very rarely as confident as they like to appear on the outside.

Enjoy the company of your friends, explore whatever you want to academically. You're in high school! Education will never be free again, so pursue anything you want to learn.

You are into creative writing, yes? Develop that.

Social skills are improtant, but I can't work on them now after eight years of being bullied and ignored, can I?

As for being cynical, I do understand myself, and I understand everybody else, plus I make sense to myself. Unfortunately this is what led me to (apparently) cynicism.yes you can. Look at me. nearing 40 and I'm trying to improve my social skills. if I can get to the point of talking to strangers at my age, you can at yours. and your cynicism, if used properly, can be a form of protection.

According to pretty much every adult I've spoken to, I've already had too many C's and D's (though only one D) to graduate, and I don't have any sports or anything other than band for extra-curriculars, so apparently it's going to be REALLY tough for me to graduate.
it's possible. harder, but still possible. you can also try to freelance at local papers, enter any and all writing contests you can get your hands on, even take creative writing classes.

According to pretty much every adult I've spoken to, I've already had too many C's and D's (though only one D) to graduate, and I don't have any sports or anything other than band for extra-curriculars, so apparently it's going to be REALLY tough for me to graduate.

And martial arts never really interested me, besides there's hrdly anywhere to go for martial arts. :( I was in marching band though, and I'm going to go back to it in the fall. But then once band is done, I'll once again have nothing. And there's nothing else to do around here except sports and band.

You're just being pessimistic for the sake of being pessimistic now aren'cha? :p

Maybe you just need something chocolatey and a tear-jerker movie. Or just a laugh. Laughter is still the best medicine. Ask Dr. Lunatic Goofballs.

i hope all this encouragment has made you feel better or will make you feel better after your depression lifts.

there just isnt much you can do about highschool. it sucks, it will continue to suck. it does get a bit better every year but will never be "fun". you are trapped with people you dont like and who dont particularly like you. (although they probably never give you a second thought rather than actively dislike you)

running away is an obviously bad choice. you know that. all it does is put you in danger without improving anything. you just have to tough it out.

stop comparing yourself to others. you dont know their inner turmoil. you dont know how many of those perfect people have nightmarish home lives, how many will end up on drugs, in jail, or with babies before they graduate. you are reacting only to the surface image and your belief that they have it made. they dont.

concentrate on the friends you do have. be as good a friend to them as you can be. you might take a look around and befriend a few of the other outcasts who are unfairly discounted by the majority.

prepare yourself for the future. do your best in your classes (of course) but also take care of yourself physically--eat well, exercise. learn as much as you can outside of school. school only teaches you the basics. you need to know much more.

the biggest fear *I* had was that the rest of my life would be as awful as highschool was. how often have you had people tell you that this is the BEST time of your life? *shudder* if this is the best, the rest wouldnt be worth bothering with eh? once you get to college (you should go to college) everything changes. you get a clean slate and people make friendships on an entirely different basis (dont ever go to a college where the fraternity system runs its social life). you will have a wonderful time. the whole world will open up to you. dont worry that you dont know what you want to major in or end up doing as a career afterwards. you will figure that out soon enough.

the biggest fear *I* had was that the rest of my life would be as awful as highschool was. how often have you had people tell you that this is the BEST time of your life? *shudder* if this is the best, the rest wouldnt be worth bothering with eh? once you get to college (you should go to college) everything changes. you get a clean slate and people make friendships on an entirely different basis (dont ever go to a college where the fraternity system runs its social life). you will have a wonderful time. the whole world will open up to you. dont worry that you dont know what you want to major in or end up doing as a career afterwards. you will figure that out soon enough.

They DID say that, didn't they? What the hell is that all about? Must be that high-school teachers liked it so much the first time, that they gotta go back and try to relive the experience, and tell high-school students how great they have it.

Particularly gym teachers. Must just be jocks trying to relive their glory days.

Dude, you're in grade 9. Don't worry about it.

Just do your best in school, try doing extra curriculars et c and I'm sure you'll get in to a decent university. Eventually you'll figure out what you like best and you'll go do it. Freaking out about how your scholastic preformance today is going to ruin your life won't help you.

I think there is some great value in perspective. You have, I trust, never really worried when you would eat next. Never worried where you would sleep next. Never worried if you could get medicine next. Never gone to bed hungry. Never wondered who your parents were, or whether they were still alive. Never had to work to support your family. Never been beaten. Never been raped.

if all that is true they you are significantly better off than a great many.

It is true perhaps that the events so far seem of great importance, of great concern. It feels, I am sure, that nobody can quite understand what you're going through, or how it feels to be you. I hope I do not come across to condescending when I say that a great many people your age, and those who have passed your age, have held those exact same thoughts. It is not, I fear, as rare a concern as you might think.

It might seem, some times, that you're the worst off as you look around. The truth of it all is though, that those who are enjoying it the best, are perhaps only just slightly better off than you, and those who have it the worst, are far, far worse off.

Highschool sucks. It does. It sucked for me, it sucks for you, it sucked for a great many people here. And it just keeps on sucking on and on with the feeling that it's just going to keep sucking and never stop sucking.

Except, one day, just like that...it does. I wish I could tell you that it'll all be ok tomorrow and you're going to love highschool. If you're anything like me, you'll hate it. Hate every fucking minute of it. The best consolation i can give you may not seem like much consolation at all, but the fact is, this will prove to be a fairly insignificant time of your life, when you're old enough to look back on it.

You keep talking about how you have "failed" at life. I'm sure you're a smart enough girl to understand that it's quite silly to say how you failed a 74 question test when you're only on question 14, and frankly the first 10 or 15 don't really even count at all. Of course, one of the great jokes about this test is that those low questions, those first few, when you're answering them they seem like the most important part of it, but that once you're past them, the further along you go, the less and less important they become, in retrospect.

There's nothing I can tell you to make it better now, that hasn't been said already. I can only say this. It does end. Sooner than you think.

Oh come on, you at least get a D+ in life. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I don't have social skills, I don't get the besst grades, I don't always do my school work. I don't have anything that would help me past high school.
My parents say I should go out and "be sociable"
As for being cynical, I do understand myself, and I understand everybody else, plus I make sense to myself. Unfortunately this is what led me to (apparently) cynicism.

:eek: You're like a younger, female, American, less apathetic/flippant/uncaring/arrogant version of me! Also from what I can tell you're less of a arse as well, and probably hold strangers in higher regard. Hmm, now that I think about it you're situation is probably completely different.

Don't worry about it.... literally, just stop worrying about it, everything will work out fine. Well, at least that's how my life seems to work... but maybe I'm just lucky.

Not that anyone in my town cares, apparently your only interests are supposed to be MySpace and sports or else you fail.

They've got it a bit mixed up I think. Especially considering the types of sports that your townsfolk most likely play watch.

My freshman year in highschool was pretty sucky... didn't know anyone and everyone else had friends because the school had grades 5-12 and most people had been going there since 5th grade. Typical outcast kinda stuff really... Even though it was a smallish school (about 130 people in my class) I didnt really know anyone even though I had classes with most people.

Anyway eventually I found people like me or enough so, found a sport I liked, though I have to say I never in highschool felt like there was a career out there for me, not a "respectable" one I would like anyway. I kinda always wanted to be a farmer, but thats another story. Now I'm in College, and loving my major.

The point is... don't give up yet theres tons more to life than highschool bullies, or success as our society has decided to define it. In all honesty happiness is much more important than financial success, and while sometimes they can be tied together, as long as you have money for food and shelter, I'm sure happiness can be found.

Hang in there pancake :)

Social skills are improtant, but I can't work on them now after eight years of being bullied and ignored, can I?
You can... I learned A LOT in 3 months without bullying and being shouted at.
As for being cynical, I do understand myself, and I understand everybody else, plus I make sense to myself. Unfortunately this is what led me to (apparently) cynicism.

well, it is a quality of yourself. And IMHO it correlated positively with intelligence.

According to pretty much every adult I've spoken to, I've already had too many C's and D's (though only one D, and more B's than C's) to graduate, and I don't have any sports or anything other than band for extra-curriculars, so apparently it's going to be REALLY tough for me to graduate.

And martial arts never really interested me, besides there's hrdly anywhere to go for martial arts. :( I was in marching band though, and I'm going to go back to it in the fall. But then once band is done, I'll once again have nothing. And there's nothing else to do around here except sports and band.
[/quote]I do not know your school system but you might need to change the view of yourself to make this non-graduation acceptable (Roentgen didn't graduate and Einstein worked at a patent office...). Accept what can not be changed, change what can not be accepted and can be changed... You said you liked writing? well, then maybe put your stories on the 'net?

OP smells like emo. Go back to myspace.

:eek: You didn't.... you did... you obviously haven't been here long enough.

I've been here since August of 2004.

OP smells like emo. Go back to myspace.

lol

OP smells like emo. Go back to myspace.

:eek: You didn't.... you did... you obviously haven't been here long enough.

the future is that collectively the dominant culture needs to get its head out of the colonize it, kill it or paint it o.d. green fixation before the rest of the universe gives our butts a well earned and deserved kicking.

and that means stop demonizing everything that doesn't kiss the ass of little green pieces of paper and killing people and destroying other nation's infrastructure just because someone's a big enough bully to "get away with it".

nothing lasts for ever, and the kind of crap that's been going on isn't likely to either.

the future is that tecnology will have to find ways of continuing to get along and evolve, without reliance on the use of combustion. such ways exist, and i have every confidence they can and will be adopted, although the consiquences of failing to do reamain a threatening and real possibility. just not by any means an inevitable one.

really tecnology and the kind of world we all have to live in, and finding ways for both to get along with nature and our dependence on it, are what i think in terms of, tommarow, and right now both.

=^^=
.../\...

Think you've got serious problems with life?

Consult the internet!

Darknovae, you only need to understand that God loves you and is giving you a hard time to test you and if you succeed in that test and continue to love Him you get to go to heaven so it'll all be ok if you just take it, take it and take it again.

Think you've got serious problems with life?

Consult the internet!

It can only go well.

I've been here since August of 2004.

But... but... you called Darknovae emo

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while(1);
n=n-1;
<SYSTEM ERROR>
*implodes*

In Freshman Seminar, we're always talking about colleges and stuff, and what colleges and universities expect, etc. It's informative, but it's making me feel that, once again, I'm not good enough.

I was never good enough in middle school. I tried out for basketball and track in seventh grade and didn't make it because A- I wasn't as good as the other girls and B- the coaches picked favorites. Guess which hurt worse? I never got past fourth or fifth chair in band, I never got honor roll, never made it to any sports teams. I rarely got invited anywhere, and when I did get invited I never knew anybody. I always got blamed for stuff in middle school. In my own neighborhood people don't want to talk to me and never have wanted to. In fact in the eight years I've lived in this neighborhood, I've only made 3 friends... in the eight years I've lived in the town, I don't have many friends.

In grades two through eight I constantly heard that I was ugly or stupid. I used to have this brown spot on my front tooth (souvenir from when I was really sick when I was five), and in third grade I started getting acne. Of course I'm one of the smartest people in my class (and always have been) but it doesn't matter how much I know, I apparently don't know anything and should stop correcting people when they say something that's totally wrong.

Of course, I'm going to hear "defend yourself" "report somebody" WHEN THE HELL HAS THAT EVER WORKED?!?!?!?!?! When I tried to stick up for myself, I was called stupid and I was told to shut up and that nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. I never did report anybody, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE TRIPE I ALWAYS HEARD! Obviously it didn't help, but all I ever got was "keep trying, keep trying" and "grow up". I have a few choice words for them, but I don't like to cuss excessively on the internet so I will not say them here.

So, I entered high school. I finally had confidence. [/b] But once I got a new boyfriend, he had to pull a <insert my middle school> and ditch me.[/b] I got over it, but once Freshman Seminar started, I lost my self-esteem. College is all about finding your strengths and talents, and apparently I have none except writing and band. That's the whole career thing too, and again, my only real talents are writing and band, it's not going to get me far beyond college. I don't have social skills, I don't get the besst grades, I don't always do my school work. I don't have anything that would help me past high school.

If living in this cesspit of a town has taught me anything, it's that I officially fail at life.

I rest my emo case.

I rest my emo case.

How old are you? The stuff you highlighted is typical of an overreacting teenager who's upset that something is going. Overreacting itself being something that teenagers tend to do a lot.

You are on the internet. You are a teenager. You do not use l33tsp33k or txtspk. Therefore, in terms of intelligence, you are in the top 5% or so of the population. You'll be fine, cheer up. :)

the future is that collectively the dominant culture needs to get its head out of the colonize it, kill it or paint it o.d. green fixation before the rest of the universe gives our butts a well earned and deserved kicking.

and that means stop demonizing everything that doesn't kiss the ass of little green pieces of paper and killing people and destroying other nation's infrastructure just because someone's a big enough bully to "get away with it".

nothing lasts for ever, and the kind of crap that's been going on isn't likely to either.

the future is that tecnology will have to find ways of continuing to get along and evolve, without reliance on the use of combustion. such ways exist, and i have every confidence they can and will be adopted, although the consiquences of failing to do reamain a threatening and real possibility. just not by any means an inevitable one.

really tecnology and the kind of world we all have to live in, and finding ways for both to get along with nature and our dependence on it, are what i think in terms of, tommarow, and right now both.

=^^=
.../\...
...

Bwaa?

But... but... you called Darknovae emo

#Does not compute#
100101011001012110001110104143150-153530##%@#^%$^!#^&@$
while(1);
n=n-1;
<SYSTEM ERROR>
*implodes*

so they say

Pancake doesn't fail, your town fails.


See, simple.

Pancake doesn't fail, your town fails.

That's a good way of looking at it.

Pancake doesn't fail at life. Life fails at Pancake.

In Freshman Seminar, we're always talking about colleges and stuff, and what colleges and universities expect, etc. It's informative, but it's making me feel that, once again, I'm not good enough.

I was never good enough in middle school. I tried out for basketball and track in seventh grade and didn't make it because A- I wasn't as good as the other girls and B- the coaches picked favorites. Guess which hurt worse? I never got past fourth or fifth chair in band, I never got honor roll, never made it to any sports teams. I rarely got invited anywhere, and when I did get invited I never knew anybody. I always got blamed for stuff in middle school. In my own neighborhood people don't want to talk to me and never have wanted to. In fact in the eight years I've lived in this neighborhood, I've only made 3 friends... in the eight years I've lived in the town, I don't have many friends.

In grades two through eight I constantly heard that I was ugly or stupid. I used to have this brown spot on my front tooth (souvenir from when I was really sick when I was five), and in third grade I started getting acne. Of course I'm one of the smartest people in my class (and always have been) but it doesn't matter how much I know, I apparently don't know anything and should stop correcting people when they say something that's totally wrong.

Of course, I'm going to hear "defend yourself" "report somebody" WHEN THE HELL HAS THAT EVER WORKED?!?!?!?!?! When I tried to stick up for myself, I was called stupid and I was told to shut up and that nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. I never did report anybody, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE TRIPE I ALWAYS HEARD! Obviously it didn't help, but all I ever got was "keep trying, keep trying" and "grow up". I have a few choice words for them, but I don't like to cuss excessively on the internet so I will not say them here.

So, I entered high school. I finally had confidence. But once I got a new boyfriend, he had to pull a <insert my middle school> and ditch me. I got over it, but once Freshman Seminar started, I lost my self-esteem. College is all about finding your strengths and talents, and apparently I have none except writing and band. That's the whole career thing too, and again, my only real talents are writing and band, it's not going to get me far beyond college. I don't have social skills, I don't get the besst grades, I don't always do my school work. I don't have anything that would help me past high school.

If living in this cesspit of a town has taught me anything, it's that I officially fail at life.


Do whatever it is you have to do to get through highschool with decent grades and then go to university in a completely different place. Study to your interests, but if you can try and throw in a few other papers to try them out. You wont know anyone at all, and any previous reputation you have doesn't mean shit. Stay in a dorm and meet as many people as you can. I've known a few people who suddenly became popular when they got to university and realised that ultimately highschool social life was stupid.

That's a good way of looking at it.

Pancake doesn't fail at life. Life fails at Pancake.

:)

That's a good way of looking at it.

Pancake doesn't fail at life. Life fails at Pancake.


that can be said to a lot of us

that can be said to a lot of us

YEah.

Anyway, this town fails. Hard.

YEah.

Anyway, this town fails. Hard.

your town and what going on this week in my life, hell Dancing with the Devil be easy as he got brians