NationStates Jolt Archive

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

If you ever go to Zizzi's, whatever you do, don't order the sausage.

What on earth would drive someone to do that?

Severe body dysmorphia and gender issues? I dunno. Maybe he thought it was unclean. He's clearly a bit mad.

EDIT: Hurrah!

A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London restaurant.

Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.

A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

If you ever go to Zizzi's, whatever you do, don't order the sausage.

What on earth would drive someone to do that?

EDIT: Hurrah!

After a long and successful run of stealing other people's posts, Jolt has been putting my replies two minutes in the future for the last couple of days. :(

I guess you win some, you lose some.

I dunno. It reminds me of the time a friend of mine mentioned a desire to end his life and I suggested he climb into the furnace duct of the local asshole's house and then off himself. That way his corpse would stink up the guy's house. Maybe the guy got really bad pizza last time.

Cutting off your knob to spite your wife......

Cutting off your knob to spite your wife......

lot get to it before she does

I dunno. It reminds me of the time a friend of mine mentioned a desire to end his life and I suggested he climb into the furnace duct of the local asshole's house and then off himself. That way his corpse would stink up the guy's house. Maybe the guy got really bad pizza last time.

I can tell you're a great friend. Remind me to never come to you with my problems. :p

what...the fuck? :eek: :confused:

dude.



i like zizzi's

what...the fuck? :eek: :confused:

dude.



i like zizzi's

And now we all know why. For the special toppings.

And now we all know why. For the special toppings.

"Tired of girly salads and health foods? Come to Zizzi's - the restaurant that puts the man back in you."

What on earth would drive someone to do that?

I guess he really wanted a darwin award.

That just makes it sound like a den of homosexual negotiable affection.
yup
"Tired of girly salads and health foods? Come to Zizzi's - the restaurant that puts the man back in you."

i want woman on my pizza no man

"Tired of girly salads and health foods? Come to Zizzi's - the restaurant that puts the man back in you."That just makes it sound like a den of homosexual negotiable affection.

You say that like it's a bad thing!Sex is nice, but you should never let it get in the way of good food.

That just makes it sound like a den of homosexual negotiable affection.

You say that like it's a bad thing!

I guess he really wanted a darwin award.

Shouldn't he already get it?

I mean, he's lost his penis - is he still able to reproduce? Does he have any children?

If he isn't able to reproduce anymore and has no children, then he should qualify for a darwin award :D

Shouldn't he already get it?

I mean, he's lost his penis - is he still able to reproduce? Does he have any children?

If he isn't able to reproduce anymore and has no children, then he should qualify for a darwin award :D

You can't win a darwin award on purpose, despite the fact that killing or sterilising yourself in order to win a darwin award would be tremendously stupid.

Also, if his testicles are still functioning he could theoretically still reproduce.

Well yeah, sterilising oneself in order to win a darwin award would be stupider than sterilising oneself, because one would be inelidgable.

Severe body dysmorphia and gender issues? I dunno. Maybe he thought it was unclean. He's clearly a bit mad.

EDIT: Hurrah!

I hereby vote that all violent maniacs be required to cut off their penises instead of shooting 32 people.

I promise I won't think any less of you. :)

Edit: In fact, I hold this dickless wonder in much higher regard than the Virginia Tech's dickless wonder. *nod*

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

If you ever go to Zizzi's, whatever you do, don't order the sausage.

What on earth would drive someone to do that?

I knew a gentleman who was clinically psychotic, he stopped taking his meds for about a week...
He "realized" he was the anti-christ, that his "children" would destroy the world.
Since he had no children that meant his children to be...

So, in a grocery store aisle he opened a boxcutter package slid the blade out dropped trou and began to remove his own testicles...

This is where i give credit to the zizzi guy...my friend was shocked back to reality by the intense pain, he quickly made his way to a local hospital where they administered a large dose of anti-psychotics...not enough though.

He left felling normal(save for some unpleasant stitches) went to work(on the GM Assembly Line) where he bagan his job.

Part way through his shift....

He "realized" he was in hell, that his foremen were Demons and he was building monsters to destroy the earth.

Fun guy.

Reminded me of this...
Man cuts off genitals in drunken rage

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2242335.html

Yummy

For some reason I keep thinking of the pickle slicer joke...

In other news...

Man cuts off penis in restaurant (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/6586879.stm)

A man had entered a restaurant on the Strand in London and after staff members tried to stop him he went into the kitchen and cut off his penis and slit his wrist and went back out and cut himself again before being subdued.

According to reports, he's lost his manhood as doctors were unable to reattach it...

Too bad he is alive otherwise he's make a great candidate for a Darwin Award.

Too bad he is alive otherwise he's make a great candidate for a Darwin Award.

How?

The Darwin Arwards are for people who die from doing stupid things, this guy was just suicidal (among other things).

How?

The Darwin Arwards are for people who die from doing stupid things, this guy was just suicidal (among other things).

I don't know... being suicidal is one thing, but he was doing something stupid at the time. I mean, cutting off one's penis...? Isn't that area damn sensitive to begin with?

:( This makes me and my penis sad.

Darwin Awards are for people who remove themselves from the gene pool. There is a whole section of people who have been awarded Darwin Awards just for rendering their genitals out of action without themselves dying.

How?

The Darwin Arwards are for people who die from doing stupid things, this guy was just suicidal (among other things).

Dying is not required for a Darwin award. Sterilization or inability to reproduce due to your own stupidity is.

The Darwin awards refrain from including people suffering from mental illness though, so he may be excluded from the official count. No sane person tries to cut their dick off and kill themselves in a public place tbh.

Would you like some eggs with that sausage?

Would you like some eggs with that sausage?

Wow, we made it to post #8 before that joke came out. I'm impressed NSG, we showed restraint.

Reminded me of this...

Ok-you're really mad,so you teach everyone a lesson by cutting off your own plumbing?

I dont get it??

Wow, we made it to post #8 before that joke came out. I'm impressed NSG, we showed restraint.

Impressed? I'm disappointed. You should all be ashamed. :mad:

Ok-you're really mad,so you teach everyone a lesson by cutting off your own plumbing?

I dont get it??

Would you want to piss off a guy that would willingly slash his own cock off? I know I wouldn't.

Would you want to piss off a guy that would willingly slash his own cock off? I know I wouldn't.

Nope-thats one of my life rules- as soon as I see someone start that process, I vacate the vicinity.

it cant turn out good.

What is it with you guys and finding these totally fucking disgusting stories and posting them here? I want to know what would drive someone to THAT.

What is it with you guys and finding these totally fucking disgusting stories and posting them here?

It's only the BBC website...

There is already a thread about it. It is disgusting. We do not need two.

In other news...

Man cuts off penis in restaurant (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/6586879.stm)

A man had entered a restaurant on the Strand in London and after staff members tried to stop him he went into the kitchen and cut off his penis and slit his wrist and went back out and cut himself again before being subdued.

According to reports, he's lost his manhood as doctors were unable to reattach it...

Too bad he is alive otherwise he's make a great candidate for a Darwin Award.

He's taken himself out of the genepool, hasn't he?

Would you like some eggs with that sausage?

I guess he didn't remove them too?

I don't think the way he did it was stupid enough to merit a Darwin award. The Darwins aren't for laughing at the depressed. They're for laughing at the stupid.

Now, if he had lost it, say, masturbating with a pizza...

There is already a thread about it. It is disgusting. We do not need two.

If you learnt to read the timestamps, you'd see that this thread came several hours before the other. :)

Never mind, Kat's sorted it out for you now.

Wow, we made it to post #8 before that joke came out. I'm impressed NSG, we showed restraint.
Merged threads?
It's post 31...
Ok-you're really mad,so you teach everyone a lesson by cutting off your own plumbing?

I dont get it??
Eastern Europeans, funny culture...

If you learnt to read the timestamps, you'd see that this thread came several hours before the other. :)

Never mind, Kat's sorted it out for you now.

Oh. The other one was longer, so I just figured this was the newer one.

Well, now they're one and the same.

Merged threads?
It's post 31...

Eastern Europeans, funny culture...

punching the people you're mad at in the mouth makes more sense to me.

But hey-to each his own.

Maybe someone suggested he "whack off' and he misinterpretted? Badly.

punching the people you're mad at in the mouth makes more sense to me.

But hey-to each his own.

Maybe someone suggested he "whack off' and he misinterpretted? Badly.
Turns out he was Polish, quite understandable to lop it off, maybe he was in the Polish Mafia?