NationStates Jolt Archive

All throughout our lives, we've always heard that being different and unique was, cool, good, awesome etc. I don't know about you guys, but it sucked for me, it sucked so much that I'm still feeling the effect of it today. As most of y'all know I do have a facial deformity called Goldenhar Syndrome which made me looked different. Different is awesome and uber right? Wrong, espically for me. I can't tell you how before my last surgery on Dec. 22 2006 that all I ever wanted was to be normal, to look normal and to blend in. Needless to say, me being different was not well receipted by the general population which I have now come to distrust and to be very cynical towards. I really do just have to laugh when I hear that being different is good, it's awesome, to me, it's just such a naive thing to say, it really is, because the general population, ah they hate uniqueness, and they hate originality. They want the same cookie cutter crap, and they want everything the same. So what do you guys think, is being different as crack up as it seems? *Poll coming*

Some kinds of different are apparently cool, other are not. Which is which seems to be random.

Some kinds of different are apparently cool, other are not. Which is which seems to be random.
It's not random.

It's cool if you choose to be different.

It's not so cool and can be somewhat painful if being different is forced upon you, if conformity is not an option.

It's not random.

It's cool if you choose to be different.

It's not so cool and can be somewhat painful if being different is forced upon you, if conformity is not an option.

Very painful.

It's cool if you choose to be different.


some types of intentional different are just conforming in another way... just look at goths or emos. they pride themselves on being different but are just the same as each other. (i do get that they are different from the 'norm' but still...)


personally, my motto is to just be yourself and that's cool enough

You have to remember you're different and special. Just like everyone else.

Being different is neither cool nor uncool, what matters is why you're different. Be yourself etc etc etc.

You have to remember you're different and special. Just like everyone else.

Being different is neither cool nor uncool, what matters is why you're different. Be yourself etc etc etc.

Being different, in terms of being cool, is often simply being yourself, sometimes because you have the looks, sometimes because you have the money and sometimes for other reasons (it's subjective I guess), to be able to speak your mind. Instead of following the herd to fit in, you can lead it or disregard it.

That's very hard to do if you have a facial disfigurement, people who know you may well appreciate the qualities you have but it's the vast majority who don't know you, who either cannot look you in the eye or are embarrassed by their own discomfort that makes it so hard.

People with disfigurement, I think, would simply like to be able to forget about it, just for a while, rather than constantly be reminded each and every day by people's reactions.

I'm not sure about that Wilgrove, I'm lucky to look reasonably normal.

It's not random.

It's cool if you choose to be different.

It's not so cool and can be somewhat painful if being different is forced upon you, if conformity is not an option.There's always people who don't give a shit about such things. Trick is to find them.

The biggest problem isn't that the world's plastic goodness full of plastic sheeple. It's that people who don't fit the mold, for whatever reason, tend to believe it when they're told it's important, and end up spending their lives bashing their own ego's. Don't fall into that trap. The world's full of assholes. You've simply met some of them. They'll only ever matter as much as you let them, so just don't.

it depends on if you are alone in your difference.

I'm very different from most people in terms of my personality. But my family, we are all similar. So even tho I don't "fit in" most of the time with the rest of the world, when I'm home with them, I do.

Being different physically sucks. I'm lucky enough to not be disfigured but racially I was always in the minority at school growing up. I didn't mind very much, but as a result I think of body types that someone with my genes could not possibly have as the ideal. I want to be something I'm not, can never be. On good days I know I'm not ugly, but its rare that I think I look good, too.

There is a difference between standing out and being an outcast. Both can result from being different, unique in some way. Hell, the same trait may have both results, depending on the person observing.


If people can't get past appearances, though, they should just go to hell.

Being different is what made me me. It influenced my interests, my character, my way of dealing with others, my career, my views and opinions about the world.
Sure it would have been easier if I had been more normal. But it didn't happen that way, so why cry over spilled milk? There's plenty of advantages.

I do get you, Wilgrove, why you would just like to be like everyne else.
I've always had trouble fitting in, what with my weird clothes and my puny height.
But in time you'll come to realise that your clothes, your face,.. that's not who you are. You will find people who do not judge you by your clothes or your face, but by who you are. And you'll feel tons better than all those people who need others to pick on to feel good about themselves!

Everyone is diferent. I doubt there is anyone in this world that fits the exact definition of normal.

Now, there are positive and negative kind of diferences. For example, being poor is negative, rich is a positive. Ugly is negative, beautifull is positive. Fast is positive, slow is negative.

Mainly, positives are things people cant easily reach. I remember some kids in my school that were proud of their spitting capabilities. Yes, they liked to spit, and seemed to be proud of it. BUT ANYONE CAN DO THAT. What people cant regular do is being a striker in soccer and score a lot of goals. And that is why they are recognized as special and looked as diferent in a positive way.

Now, anyone can spit. Anyone can be slow, if they are fast. ANyone can be dumb, if they are smart. Anyone can be ugly, if they are beautifull. Its like a rating: smart gives you 10 points, being ugly gives you 5 points. If you have 10 points to spare, you can act like you only have 5. That is why its easier for someone strong to act weak, and much harder for someone weak to act strong.

So, diference is quite a broad term. There are positive and negative kinds of diferences.

Depends, but in general yes. But you , nor they will realize this til you're both to old to care.

It's not cool to be "different", it's cool to be however you want just if you're satisfied with yourself.

All throughout our lives, we've always heard that being different and unique was, cool, good, awesome etc. I don't know about you guys, but it sucked for me, it sucked so much that I'm still feeling the effect of it today. As most of y'all know I do have a facial deformity called Goldenhar Syndrome which made me looked different. Different is awesome and uber right? Wrong, espically for me. I can't tell you how before my last surgery on Dec. 22 2006 that all I ever wanted was to be normal, to look normal and to blend in. Needless to say, me being different was not well receipted by the general population which I have now come to distrust and to be very cynical towards. I really do just have to laugh when I hear that being different is good, it's awesome, to me, it's just such a naive thing to say, it really is, because the general population, ah they hate uniqueness, and they hate originality. They want the same cookie cutter crap, and they want everything the same. So what do you guys think, is being different as crack up as it seems? *Poll coming*

It depends on what's different. Facial deformities like yours are not the 'cool' kind. I don't mean to be callous but that's the way some people see it. The different that people talk about is an idiosyncratic personality, your own style of doing things. Just pay no mind to assholes.

You have been lied to. To be "different" and be cool, you must be "different" in the same way as the cool people. Being truly different is frightening to the mainstream "different."

People are assholes.

I like being different because I get incredible kicks out of pissing off people who thrive on mindless conformity.

Once in a while I will conform, but usually I try and change something so it fits me.

when people think different is cool, what they mean is "different as long as it's something I might want but am too scared to try" is cool.

I am way weird, not just because of my health issues (which people have overwhelmingly been asshats about IRL) but because my personality is slightly off kilter. For example, yesterday, the kids and I dressed up like clowns and went to the Children's hospital and made balloon animals for all the kids and their parents. The administration at the hospital really didn't care because we were quiet, but most of the nurses and doctors looked pretty pissed and confused. In fact, the receptionist in the surgery waiting area called security on us. We thought that the grown ups waiting for their kids to get out of surgery might need a balloon, and we offered to go buy them drinks and snacks so that they didn't have to leave the waiting room (in case news came) but that way they wouldn't get sick from not eating....anyway, we weren't well received. I had one of the adults ask "so is this what you do like for community service? or do you have a day off your real job or what?" while I tried to explain that I don't really have the type of job that I have to take days off of.....and that I was bored and the kids were bored so we decided to go do this.......she was confused to say the least.

Anyway, as far as physical differences, they are pretty much okay as long as they are "mainstream" it seems, my friend in a wheelchair gets a lot of "wow, he is so strong" and "I so respect him", while my other friend who was in a really bad wreck and has a wooden leg and a reconstructed face that's still in progress gets a "what happened to her?!" and "I wouldn't leave the house like that" :rolleyes:

when people think different is cool, what they mean is "different as long as it's something I might want but am too scared to try" is cool. "Oooo! How do you get your hair like that?"
"Same way you do it. Wank to a pic of myself and run my fingers thru my hair. What made you think it was a good idea to ask me stupid questions?"I am way weird, not just because of my health issues (which people have overwhelmingly been asshats about IRL) but because my personality is slightly off kilter.It's not too bad 'til you get picked up by the coppers for imaginary crimes against random strangers. For example, a couple of months ago I got picked up from the sidewalk and stuck in a holding cell, because some jackass called the coppers from his car and claimed I'd trashed it as he drove past me. I was let out again almost three hours later, when the silly coppers had to admit the guy was trying to harass me.
And since I never saw the alleged perpetrator of the hoax and wasn't allowed to know who he was supposed to be, I don't even know if it was simply random crap pulled by bored inner city coppers.For example, yesterday, the kids and I dressed up like clowns and went to the Children's hospital and made balloon animals for all the kids and their parents.A few of us did exactly the same about a decade ago. We just didn't dress up, but brought candy and a couple of children's books (which we'd found raiding containers. That's what gave us the idea). Like you, we got kicked out by guards.Anyway, as far as physical differences, they are pretty much okay as long as they are "mainstream" it seems, my friend in a wheelchair gets a lot of "wow, he is so strong" and "I so respect him", while my other friend who was in a really bad wreck and has a wooden leg and a reconstructed face that's still in progress gets a "what happened to her?!" and "I wouldn't leave the house like that" :rolleyes:The only thing that bugs me is watching über spastics & little children eat. It creeps me out. Fortunately it may just be the easiest thing in the world to avoid, so I very much doubt it'll ever bother anyone (myself included).

But on topic: Don't let the assholes drag you down. Go find some sane playmates to have fun with. I know two splitfaced people, and since my first reply in this thread, I've been spamming them to hear if it's ever been an issue for them. They both denied it, though one suggested you looked up "Dignity" in the dictionary. I'm guessing he just figured I was trying to be obnoxious since I'm bored out of my skull.

I think people want to be different because of their talents and not because of their [percieved] flaws.

Don't get me wrong. The reason many people have the perception their inborn differentness is a flaw is because that's how society as a whole treats them.

All throughout our lives, we've always heard that being different and unique was, cool, good, awesome etc. I don't know about you guys, but it sucked for me, it sucked so much that I'm still feeling the effect of it today. As most of y'all know I do have a facial deformity called Goldenhar Syndrome which made me looked different. Different is awesome and uber right? Wrong, espically for me. I can't tell you how before my last surgery on Dec. 22 2006 that all I ever wanted was to be normal, to look normal and to blend in. Needless to say, me being different was not well receipted by the general population which I have now come to distrust and to be very cynical towards. I really do just have to laugh when I hear that being different is good, it's awesome, to me, it's just such a naive thing to say, it really is, because the general population, ah they hate uniqueness, and they hate originality. They want the same cookie cutter crap, and they want everything the same. So what do you guys think, is being different as crack up as it seems? *Poll coming*

Be yourself, not what's cool, Quasi.

It depends on what you mean by "cool."

If you mean "popular," then, no, being different is not particularly cool.

If you mean "self-confident and worthy of respect," then, yes, being unashamedly your own person is decidedly cool. :)

You're unique, just like everybody else.


Nothing wrong with being different, though some kinds of different (oddly coloured hair) certainly are better than other kinds of different (mass murderer).

Everyone on this planet are complete freaks...except for me. I am the only normal person in existence...ever.



Wierdos

Being different doesn't make you pretty. You are different, and perhaps you are not pretty. It is fairly simple as that, beeing pretty defined as "going in accord to the social standards of physical appearance".

You are still different, and cool. What you are not, as it seems, is pretty.

the coolness of being different is just a lie your parents tell you to help you get through it.

they didnt believe it and neither does anyone else. the range of differences that qualify as cool is so narrow that it ends up being its own kind of conformity.

however, being stuck in the rigid conformity of normalcy is its own punishment. for some people the need to fit in is crippling to their growth as a person. they only look to others for their self worth, their choices in clothing and music, their own standards for friendships.

being different in a way that is not celebrated can make you stronger as a person, more self defined, more sympathetic to the plight of others, less prone to falling to pieces when things dont go your way. its harder for sure but *shrug* it doesnt have to ruin your life.

being different in a way that is not celebrated can make you stronger as a person, more self defined, more sympathetic to the plight of others, less prone to falling to pieces when things dont go your way. its harder for sure but *shrug* it doesnt have to ruin your life.

As much as my cynical side wants to make a crabby remark about that, it is somewhat true. Though I tend to be different in ways I can't mention on this forum without fear of getting a thread locked.

Nobody likes someone who's too different. Basically people like the illusion of uniqueness, but are disturbed by people who actually do have different motivations, points of view, or radically different taste.

As much as my cynical side wants to make a crabby remark about that, it is somewhat true. Though I tend to be different in ways I can't mention on this forum without fear of getting a thread locked.

it is a bit trite but there is no sense in wallowing in self pity because you are different (by you i dont mean YOU).

it takes a lot to get a thread locked here. thread titles are censored but there is much more leeway in what you say in a thread.

Needless to say, me being different was not well receipted by the general population which I have now come to distrust and to be very cynical towards.
Good. The general population warrants your cynicism. Cynicism is a valuable point of view.
I really do just have to laugh when I hear that being different is good, it's awesome, to me, it's just such a naive thing to say, it really is, because the general population, ah they hate uniqueness, and they hate originality. They want the same cookie cutter crap, and they want everything the same.
Yes, they do want that. You shouldn't care what they want.

it is a bit trite but there is no sense in wallowing in self pity because you are different (by you i dont mean YOU).

it takes a lot to get a thread locked here. thread titles are censored but there is much more leeway in what you say in a thread.

Well, it was a long time ago. But I tend to be unpopular with the moderation staff, so I watch what I say.

Anyway, I don't overly care. I have places to be different with other people that are different in the same way. Yes, yes, I'm aware of the irony.

Depends. Some forms of difference tend to be considered "cool", others not. Buggered if I can find any reason as to which is which though.